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Conversation suggestions?
I'm burnt out, or mentally preoccupied, or just plain bored with my job. I think I'm just bored with customers in general. It's been a long time since I've had an interesting customer to deal with. I usually say (and believe) that I love my job. Here lately I'm thinking I'm a man hater. I have nothing to say to customers. "Hi" "What's your name" "Where you from" "What do you do" "blah blah blah". I've forgotten the answer before I get to the next question. When asked the direct question of " So what's your story" or some variation of that, I've got nothing. Total blank. I said to a guy tonight, "Look I just cant do this small talk shit. Come dance with me. I'm way more fun with my clothes off." It worked for a few songs but I KNOW this guy was big bucks. I fucked it up.
Any suggestions for something to talk about? I used to be yappity yap yap and funny. I've got nothing but uncomfortable silence now.
Help!!
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Re: Conversation suggestions?
It does get old when you've been using a script for so long, but if the script works, why try to change it? You have to remember that, although WE hear ourselves repeat the script over and over and over again, to the guys we talk to, it's all new.
But if you're really burnt out, I'd maybe suggest taking a break to recooperate.
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Re: Conversation suggestions?
Try starting out with
So. Did you know...
and fill it in with whatever you want.
I sometimes like to fill it in with fun facts about midgets. Sometimes I like to fill it in with facts about penguins. On occasion, if I have me a literary type, I might try Dr. Seuss. If it's an older guy you can tell him that Ava Gardiner had an FBI file for being a lesbian. Or of course the old stand by:
"Would you be still be attracted to me if you knew that I had 5 nipples? And one of them was on my back? And had an eye in it?"
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Re: Conversation suggestions?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Jenny
Try starting out with
So. Did you know...
and fill it in with whatever you want.
I sometimes like to fill it in with fun facts about midgets. Sometimes I like to fill it in with facts about penguins. On occasion, if I have me a literary type, I might try Dr. Seuss. If it's an older guy you can tell him that Ava Gardiner had an FBI file for being a lesbian. Or of course the old stand by:
"Would you be still be attracted to me if you knew that I had 5 nipples? And one of them was on my back? And had an eye in it?"
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
I just took nine days off. I think it made me worse. I had a wonderful time with my four and six year old. But I can only think of sharks and snakes and ballet and kid stuff. Heh.
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Re: Conversation suggestions?
^ I know what you mean, being a mommy stripper is kinda hard in that way, when I get ready to tell a guy about my weekend or what I did last night, I always have to be vague or make shit up, my life is not very sexy or exciting.
I rely a lot on commenting on things in the club, it is always fresh, and the customer can get in on it too. I also will tell average, mundane stories but put a goofy spin on them, like my experiences at the drugstore on the way to work and how I was buying all stripper stuff and a cute boy looked at me funny...or ask interesting probing questions, like the ones that pop up in the Lounge, "if you could live anywhere in the world...?"
There is always the fallback, fail safe sex talk too. "God, I haven't been laid in so long, I'm going crazy!" Or, "I had the dirtiest dream about fucking in the VIP last night" "I think I might go home with so-and-so (dancer) tonight, but I'm nervous, I've never been with a girl before" ::)
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Re: Conversation suggestions?
Some of the best conversations have been about where the customer is from and how they wound up in this area. It makes room for observations on local culture, regional differences in what people do for fun and how they talk, etc. The door also opens to the person's future plans and where he wants to go from here. People are always going to find their own lives, plans and hopes the most fascinating, so . . .
Usually people move because of jobs, so another route in the conversation is how the person came to be in a certain business. One of my best conversations happened last Saturday after asking, "What do you do?" He replied that he owned child and elder care centers and was working on a community development plan that was self-contained for every resident's needs. I'm constantly fascinated by how people got into doing what they're doing and said that to him, and from there we talked about how he spotted opportunities as an entrepreneur. And yes, he taught me a thing or two. ;)
Took the same tactics with a guy last night who talked about his farm and how he would eventually like to get alpacas on the farm, which meant we got into critter talk about pets, my fav!
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Re: Conversation suggestions?
The only advice I can give to you is I truly truly truly, unless I am just doing a "Wanna dance" Wanna dance" thing on the weekends, only sit with guys that I like or find interesting. I try to have enjoyable or at least interesting conversations with people... they can TELL that I am enjoying myself and it makes the whole thing more fun.
A really good conversation starter, even though I know its a cliqhue (sp?) is this one:
Me to Random guy sitting alone.... "Everyone here tonight is so boring ! *giggles* You don't look boring... are you?"
Random guy sitting alone will say one of two things:
The first thing, and the best response will be "No! Of course not..."
Then you can say, "So why aren't you boring? Tell me something interesting about yourself..."
The convo will fly from there.
Or he could get nervous and say, "Actually, I am "
Then you can say," No I can tell you're not? Are you a secret agent? Why don't you want me to know ?"
Etc, flirt flirt flirt fun talk.
The only bad outcome of this conversation is somebody will look at you weird, but that means they don't have a sense of humor.
I also find it's better to not talk about job stuff... talk about fun stuff they do... OR if they have a weird job, be like "Wow that sounds really interesting, tell me, what exactly is an average day like for you at work?"
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Re: Conversation suggestions?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Gabrielle MB
I'm burnt out, or mentally preoccupied, or just plain bored with my job. I think I'm just bored with customers in general. It's been a long time since I've had an interesting customer to deal with. I usually say (and believe) that I love my job. Here lately I'm thinking I'm a man hater. I have nothing to say to customers. "Hi" "What's your name" "Where you from" "What do you do" "blah blah blah". I've forgotten the answer before I get to the next question. When asked the direct question of " So what's your story" or some variation of that, I've got nothing. Total blank. I said to a guy tonight, "Look I just cant do this small talk shit. Come dance with me. I'm way more fun with my clothes off." It worked for a few songs but I KNOW this guy was big bucks. I fucked it up.
Any suggestions for something to talk about? I used to be yappity yap yap and funny. I've got nothing but uncomfortable silence now.
Help!!
I'm feeling almost the exact same way... I am not interested in talking to them that much unless I'm getting paid and even then i preferred to dance instead. My routine now is just to to say, smile , and look somewhat upbeat. I find something nice about them to say, like "I like your shirt, it suits you", nice smile, blah blah. then i just say "can i get naked for you" after like 1 or 2 songs. some custy yesterday seems to wanted to start this "long" convo with me, starting out asking me personal questions and stuff, i just cut him off abruptly and said i had to go socialize some more but will be back when he's all warmed up for me.. my patience runs low these days lol.
getting updated with major events in your city Like sports, art shows can give you something to talk about. or you can talk about your pet, guys relate to that especially if they have one too.. just some ideas. talking about sex always works too, if you got nothing else to say, which happens to me quite often. lol!
when asked the "what's your story" q, I usually bluntly reply the money! followed by i'm in school and this job gives me flexibility. follow by it's a sexy job, wanna see me get sexy for you?" some girls i work with just tell the guys they strip to support their kid, the guys seem to respond well to it.
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Re: Conversation suggestions?
I try to pick something random and completely unexpected, it get's them talking and they don't even realize your probing.
For example, I especially love it when people wear those little rubber bracelets that stand for a cause of some sort. I will ask them "Oooh what's that for?" and open up a whole convo that will totally have us seeing eye to eye. In the cases where someone says that they lost a loved one to cancer or something, I will say im sorry and offer to change the subject to something lighter motioning to my boobs or something.
People like compliments, pick something you can genuinely compliment and do so, then ask questions about it. Colonge is especially easy b/c I ALWAYS say "wow, i've smelled that before but it's so much better on you! " That usually takes us into a pheremone conversation or the guy telling me more about himself.
My intention when starting a conversation is to find out if this is gonna be my all night guy, a few dance guy or even if I wanna waste my time. I know alot of girls will say guys like to talk about themselves, but i find that the ones that do don't spend very much money. All of my big spenders wanna know about me more or are equally contributional to the conversation, but never over power it. I stay away from the super talkers, imo i should be doing most of the talking i wanna control the situation.
Im rambling sorry.
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Re: Conversation suggestions?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
MeanGirl
I try to pick something random and completely unexpected, it get's them talking and they don't even realize your probing.
Yes! Completely catch them off-gaurd. If you start the conversation with something totally atypical, they want to respond much more to that than to, "hi, what your name?" or "how are you?" Blah! It's so easy to be ignored that way.
And, each guy is in a totally different location sometimes within the club. You can use his surroundings to spark a convo. For instance: Last night, this guy was sitting right underneath a t.v. screen. As I approached him, I could tell I would have to totally captivate him, so I stood right in front of him and said while squinting as if looking into the sun, "Ah, I can't see you, that screen is so bright!" Then I pretended to swivel my head as if I really was being "blinded" by the bright screen. I said, "what are you DOING, underneath this thing, I feel like I'm looking into the sun!" With my hand posed as a visor. Luckily, he was amused, and even moved over for me so that I could sit with him. It was such an ice breaker.
Sometimes it's fun to go right up to a guy and blurt out, "you're a _______ (profession) aren't you?" It will usually be something really silly that he has to comment on, and it always gets a laugh.
Also, approaching without saying a word and having a really big, sexy smile on your face with a bit of "I have a secret" look, will def get them to start the talking and ask what you're thinking, etc. It's also really hard for them not to smile back at your intense smile.
One more, and then I'll stop: just do a goofy side-step dance over to them (esp if they're standing, and lightly butt them with your hip or your ass, again looking silly. They'll turn around to see who nudged them and find your crazy, hot, ass, all playful and fun-appearing. (I don't know why they like this so much). lol
Just a few crazy suggestions that have really worked well for me. There are also many variations of these, make them your own!
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Re: Conversation suggestions?
I wish I had a good suggestion but this is really my weakness. I'm not really a fan of making small talk...I can only do it for so long unless I find the person I am chatting with to be really interesting.
Sometimes I feel weird talking with guys...I mean really...I don't think they came to the club to talk so I feel like why am I even bothering with all the small talk haha! I've been working on it though and I think I am getting a little better. I find making good conversation is almost like an art form.
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Re: Conversation suggestions?
I just stick to my script...tried and true...ask there name...tell them how horny i am....keep talking about myself answering questions Im pretty sure they would want to know the answers to anyways...mention im so horny again...get dances....repeat....trade numbers....next
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Re: Conversation suggestions?
^ whoa, whoa, i'm confused, why are we trading #s?
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Re: Conversation suggestions?
^^I'm confused there too! I talk a lot about travel, which leads to all sorts of talk about adventurousness, generally. It depends on the guy.
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Re: Conversation suggestions?
Its not a home phone in my name or anything. But I have a seperate "monthly" phone for when customers ask for my number. its always been good business for me
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Re: Conversation suggestions?
Also Maybe watch like 30 mins worth of Espn news before u go in. Guys luv it when I talk sports I never get told no for dances.
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Re: Conversation suggestions?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
golden41
Also Maybe watch like 30 mins worth of Espn news before u go in. Guys luv it when I talk sports I never get told no for dances.
I'm curious, how long have you been dancing?
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Re: Conversation suggestions?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
golden41
I just stick to my script...tried and true...ask there name...tell them how horny i am....keep talking about myself answering questions Im pretty sure they would want to know the answers to anyways...mention im so horny again...get dances....repeat....trade numbers....next
I'd feel weird saying stuff like "I'm so horny"
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Re: Conversation suggestions?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Gabrielle MB
I'm curious, how long have you been dancing?
Almost 3 yrs why?
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Re: Conversation suggestions?
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Re: Conversation suggestions?
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Originally Posted by
holiday
^ "I think I might go home with so-and-so (dancer) tonight, but I'm nervous, I've never been with a girl before" ::)
Used something like this back in the day before I quit (and have returned) and basiclly the guy got really serious and took my hands in his and with absolute sincerity 'well I won't stand in your way, if you want to be with her, go to her!' and started giving me a pep talk about how to come out to my family. I still got a 2hour CR with him but he was easy as butter even though getting him to believe I liked boys was hard
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Re: Conversation suggestions?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
golden41
I just stick to my script...tried and true...ask there name...tell them how horny i am....keep talking about myself answering questions Im pretty sure they would want to know the answers to anyways...mention im so horny again...get dances....repeat....trade numbers....next
do guys ever respond negatively to you saying youre horny or sex talk? id think it would make you look more vulnerable and make them think they have a chance at fucking you or make the customer less hesitant to be grabby with you. i also feel like some customers might be turned off by it. how do guys usually react when you act over sexual?
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Re: Conversation suggestions?
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Originally Posted by
msonyxorb
do guys ever respond negatively to you saying youre horny or sex talk?
Agreed, I was thinking the same thing..that may be why you have so many of them requesting your phone number..
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Re: Conversation suggestions?
And here I was trying so hard to be "normal."
I've been having issues with talking, too. I think I've just been in machine mode, and for me the moaning and the sex talk was just easier. But business seems to be slowing down, I'm thinking this "humour" might work. Maybe a little bit of surrealism, too.
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Re: Conversation suggestions?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
golden41
Also Maybe watch like 30 mins worth of Espn news before u go in. Guys luv it when I talk sports I never get told no for dances.
Yea...I was going to suggest that too. Some sports I keep up with, but not anything most guys care about like cooking challenges or ballroom dancing competitions:) ! So I do watch ESPN or FoxSports for highlights. And...for the right customers and when appropriate, I take the conversation towards sex. What they like, what they want to try, funny sex stories, the first kiss, etc. Guys are wired that way and we all know they think about sex all the time, so they like talking about it and it's pretty easy to get PD's after that since they're worked up a bit. It can be a little uncomfortable at first, so see how the convo goes and there's usually a natural segue into it. I do whatever I can to make the convo about them and not about me so much...I hate feeling like I'm on a job interview.