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Why go over to the group of guys instead of the single guys who are ready to spend?
I'm sure it's been discussed before, and I tried a search for this topic, but failed to come up with anything satisfactory, so here goes...
Why is it that so many dancers' natural instinct is to go over and sit with groups of guys (3 or more) instead of the single guys? From my experience, the groups don't spend a lot of money on dances (or anything but booze, really), meanwhile, I'm sitting over here alone, ready to spend. I don't smell. I dress nicely. I've walked over and tipped you at the stage, clearly showing interest. Now you're going over to the group that's apparently just here to watch. Plus, why attempt to entertain 4 guys at once when you can focus on just one? There is a serious lack of logic in this strategy, ladies.
I'm sure you sometimes run into a group of guys who are all spending, but I have to imagine that's incredibly rare.
I will often ask a girl at the stage to come sit with me, but sometimes I expect the girl to take the hint when she's seen me get up from my seat, walk over, and tip her, that I'm probably interested. Is that so much to ask? GOSH!
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Re: Why go over to the group of guys instead of the single guys who are ready to spen
Good idea for a thread. Im guilty of this occasionally. I am going to make a conscious effort to go up to the single guy now coz u r right, they are more likely to spend!!!!!
I dont even know why I sometimes avoid these guys. Im not a hustler, I usually rely on customers coming up to me but im trying to improve!!
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Re: Why go over to the group of guys instead of the single guys who are ready to spen
I never go to the groups first..always hit the guys that are alone first.
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Re: Why go over to the group of guys instead of the single guys who are ready to spen
I usually go into strip clubs alone. I've never noticed the dancers avoiding single guys. Or at least they aren't avoiding me. But almost all of my strip club visits are in Las Vegas, and there is no shortage of dancers in just about any club in that town.
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Re: Why go over to the group of guys instead of the single guys who are ready to spen
Is it usually the younger, less experienced dancers that you see approaching the groups first? Perhaps they don't know any better or are there to drink and party and not really hustle?
I know that I ALWAYS approach the single guys first.
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Re: Why go over to the group of guys instead of the single guys who are ready to spen
these are the following factors on if i approach a group of guys or not:
1. there's already a couple girls over there and there are "guys leftover"
2. i've exhausted all the seemingly decent "single guy" options
3. they are tipping well
4. they are older
if at least 1 (and preferably more) of those things are not true, i am NOT approaching a group unless i'm super desperate.
i prefer single guys BY FAR and i know that's true for a lot of dancers i work with.
however, i will say that i prefer groups of 3 or more to "two guys". i don't know why, but 2 guys is almost always the hardest for me unless there's a girl i LIKE working with going up with me (and that's rare.. since i prefer working alone).
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Re: Why go over to the group of guys instead of the single guys who are ready to spen
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Originally Posted by
Bellona
I never go to the groups first..always hit the guys that are alone first.
ditto. I avoid groups as much as possible unless asked to come sit with them for a drink cuz that would be just rude not to.
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Re: Why go over to the group of guys instead of the single guys who are ready to spen
i dont think it *is* a dancer's "natural instinct," or that it's really that rare to find a group that will spend. i go to single guys before groups, but when i do get a guy from a group, i'll go back and tell another guy that it's his turn next, or ask who's turn it is next, and by the time i get to the last guy i'll tell him i saved the best for last. so if i got a guy from a group, i'll go back to the group before i move on to single guys.
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Re: Why go over to the group of guys instead of the single guys who are ready to spen
I try to approach single guys first, also. It does depend on the time of day, though. If it is during the day, mostly all we have are guys there by themselves. In that case, I will chose a group first, because they don't require as much conversation before getting a dance. They have each other to talk to, also. Also, groups of guys will try to pressure each other into getting dances, or buy each other dances.
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Re: Why go over to the group of guys instead of the single guys who are ready to spen
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Originally Posted by
Biggieman
I'm sure it's been discussed before, and I tried a search for this topic, but failed to come up with anything satisfactory, so here goes...
Why is it that so many dancers' natural instinct is to go over and sit with groups of guys (3 or more) instead of the single guys? From my experience, the groups don't spend a lot of money on dances (or anything but booze, really), meanwhile, I'm sitting over here alone, ready to spend. I don't smell. I dress nicely. I've walked over and tipped you at the stage, clearly showing interest. Now you're going over to the group that's apparently just here to watch. Plus, why attempt to entertain 4 guys at once when you can focus on just one? There is a serious lack of logic in this strategy, ladies.
I imagine you sometimes run into a group of guys who are all spending, but I have to imagine that's incredibly rare.
I will often ask a girl at the stage to come sit with me, but sometimes I expect the girl to take the hint when she's seen me get up from my seat, walk over, and tip her, that I'm probably interested. Is that so much to ask? GOSH!
to elaborate more, i have some questions:
how old are you/how old do you look?
how are you dressed? (you said nicely, but people have different opinions on what that means)
when you tip them, why not say "please come see me when you get off stage"?
also, what are you tipping?
in other words, maybe they aren't ignoring you because they'd RATHER approach groups. as you can see by our responses, that's not the norm, or at least not by a majority, for dancers). maybe there are other factors you aren't seeing.
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Re: Why go over to the group of guys instead of the single guys who are ready to spen
^^Good questions. I'd generally rather eat nails than approach a group of guys alone, unless they seem easy to divide and conquer. Unless the single guy seems likely to try and wear my skin, I'm going for him first.
To the OP: Are you going to a club that is primarily party/young kid oriented? That's the only prob I could see.
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Re: Why go over to the group of guys instead of the single guys who are ready to spen
I'll try single guys first every time, the only exception is if they avoid my eye contact, have their arms crossed and are giving "don't disturb me vibes"
or they are regulars and I know they come in to see another girl/only drink (which of course means I've approached them many times previously).
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Re: Why go over to the group of guys instead of the single guys who are ready to spen
I just realized I may have been misinterpreting the "walk over to the stage, hand girl a dollar, then go back to your corner" move. I always assumed that this meant the guy just kinda felt sorry for me and wanted to throw me a pity dollar. But how stupid of me not to realize that this means he's interested....
As most of the girls said above, I always go to the single guys. In fact, I don't think I've ever approached a group. Way too intimidating.
Possible answer: The girls who DO approach groups do this for the easy dance line of "So now that I'm done with your buddy, how about you and I go have some fun." They can sometimes get the guys to sell dances to their friends. In fact, I've had groups who are more enthusiastic to buy their friends dances than to buy themselves dances. So if the girl can get one of the guys to get a dance, she's hoping that 1) The guy she just danced for will recommend her to his friends or 2) The guy will buy his buddy a dance.
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Re: Why go over to the group of guys instead of the single guys who are ready to spen
I avoid groups like rabies.
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Re: Why go over to the group of guys instead of the single guys who are ready to spen
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Originally Posted by
Pretty_Penny
how old are you/how old do you look?
how are you dressed? (you said nicely, but people have different opinions on what that means)
when you tip them, why not say "please come see me when you get off stage"?
also, what are you tipping?
-I'm in my late-20's, so I'm willing to concede that maybe the dancers are assuming I'm just another young guy who doesn't spend (Wrong.). But you have to figure even if that's the case, I'm still a better bet than a group of guys my age.
-I usually wear khakis and a dress shirt, clean-shaven, some cologne. I don't think I've ever dressed or looked a way that screams "cheap". Well, maybe the time I wore sweatpants, bright yellow crocs, and an "I support single mothers" t-shirt. OTHER THAN THAT, I'm good.
-I tip the normal $1, but if it's a girl I like I'll stay at the stage for her whole set and tip her 3 or 4 times. That should be a good indicator of interest, but usually if I tip someone that many times I've already asked them to come over when they're done. Like I said, most times I will ask that, but it just baffles me that girls don't sense that interest and take advantage of it when I don't ask. And I'm not just saying me, but any guy that's alone. Someone that chooses to come alone probably isn't just there to drink, unless he's sitting at the bar.
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Originally Posted by
RoseLeigh
To the OP: Are you going to a club that is primarily party/young kid oriented? That's the only prob I could see.
I wouldn't say so. There's a good balance of young and older, both in customers and the dancers. I've seen all different ages of dancers go up to all different ages of groups of guys.
Someone beat me to it, but I was also gonna say that it's usually the groups of older guys that I see buying dances. When I see a girl go up to guys who are 40+, that makes sense. I understand that. But I frequently see girls go up to groups of guys who don't spend any money and they'll hang out with that group for upwards of an hour sometimes. It's just baffling to me is all. I only intend it as a complaint when it's a girl I'm interested in who does it, and I have to sit there and wait for her to give up them until I can approach her again. ;)
Maybe there are other factors, but the obvious ones don't add up.
Anyway, I figured most of the people on here had the common sense these other girls seem to be lacking.
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Re: Why go over to the group of guys instead of the single guys who are ready to spen
Another thing: If you normally go to a club that has a lot of "regulars", and if you frequently get dances from one or two of the girls, the other girls might be hesitant to approach you because you're "Candy's customer" or something like that. I know that particularly if you're new, you want to definitely avoid stepping on anybody's toes.
If you went in a couple of times (or if you go in regularly) and spent a good chunk of money on one or two girls, it's possible that the other girls won't approach you and risk the wrath of one of the other girls.
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Re: Why go over to the group of guys instead of the single guys who are ready to spen
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Originally Posted by
iambonbon05
I avoid groups like rabies.
ditto, unless they are golfers....
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Re: Why go over to the group of guys instead of the single guys who are ready to spen
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Originally Posted by
Biggieman
-I'm in my late-20's, so I'm willing to concede that maybe the dancers are assuming I'm just another young guy who doesn't spend (Wrong.). But you have to figure even if that's the case, I'm still a better bet than a group of guys my age.
-I usually wear khakis and a dress shirt, clean-shaven, some cologne. I don't think I've ever dressed or looked a way that screams "cheap". Well, maybe the time I wore sweatpants, bright yellow crocs, and an "I support single mothers" t-shirt. OTHER THAN THAT, I'm good.
-I tip the normal $1, but if it's a girl I like I'll stay at the stage for her whole set and tip her 3 or 4 times. That should be a good indicator of interest, but usually if I tip someone that many times I've already asked them to come over when they're done. Like I said, most times I will ask that, but it just baffles me that girls don't sense that interest and take advantage of it when I don't ask. And I'm not just saying me, but any guy that's alone. Someone that chooses to come alone probably isn't just there to drink, unless he's sitting at the bar.
I wouldn't say so. There's a good balance of young and older, both in customers and the dancers. I've seen all different ages of dancers go up to all different ages of groups of guys.
Someone beat me to it, but I was also gonna say that it's usually the groups of older guys that I see buying dances. When I see a girl go up to guys who are 40+, that makes sense. I understand that. But I frequently see girls go up to groups of guys who don't spend any money and they'll hang out with that group for upwards of an hour sometimes. It's just baffling to me is all. I only intend it as a complaint when it's a girl I'm interested in who does it, and I have to sit there and wait for her to give up them until I can approach her again. ;)
Maybe there are other factors, but the obvious ones don't add up.
Anyway, I figured most of the people on here had the common sense these other girls seem to be lacking.
try this (and i'm not saying you're being "wrong" per say.. but..)
instead of staying at the stage and tipping "the normal 1 dollar" each song, go up once in the middle of her set and tip her a 5 or more, ask her to come see you, and go back to your seat.
i know i might get flack for saying it, but sitting stage side and tipping a dollar each song can make you seem cheap.
i think that combined with the fact that you're young is what the "problem" is.
also (and im not assuming.. just trying to figure it out)... when you tip her that dollar, do you hold it back until she "does something" for it? or tease her with it in any way?
it is possible they are perceiving you as someone who wants them to come over and "hang out" rather than spend money.
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Re: Why go over to the group of guys instead of the single guys who are ready to spen
^exactly, 1 dollar is the norm so why would she think you were anything but just a regular tipper.^
so sad a dollar is considered norm for a stage tip these days....
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Re: Why go over to the group of guys instead of the single guys who are ready to spen
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Originally Posted by
Biggieman
I only intend it as a complaint when it's a girl I'm interested in who does it, and I have to sit there and wait for her to give up them until I can approach her again. ;)
You can always go up and tell her with a smile that when she is free you would love to get a dance with her. Some people are just clueless as to who is interested and who isnt.
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Re: Why go over to the group of guys instead of the single guys who are ready to spen
I must be in the minority here. I find it easier to talk to guys in a group than I do making small talk with a single guy. I do usually approach groups with another dancer tho and we try to sell a double show. It's easier on the weekends coz most guys in my club do come in as a group. I suppose that's why I have gotten used to approaching groups.
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Re: Why go over to the group of guys instead of the single guys who are ready to spen
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Originally Posted by
charlie61
I just realized I may have been misinterpreting the "walk over to the stage, hand girl a dollar, then go back to your corner" move. I always assumed that this meant the guy just kinda felt sorry for me and wanted to throw me a pity dollar. But how stupid of me not to realize that this means he's interested....
I can only speak for myself, but anytime I tip it's because I think you're doing a good job on the stage or because I want to talk to you and maybe get a dance. I've never tipped out of pity, no matter how dead it is. I always go at night, so it's usually not dead enough where I'd even need to do that. I only sit at the stage when I'm gonna tip. I'd rather sit back at a table and see who's coming out before I go up there.
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Originally Posted by
morgantx
Another thing: If you normally go to a club that has a lot of "regulars", and if you frequently get dances from one or two of the girls, the other girls might be hesitant to approach you because you're "Candy's customer" or something like that. I know that particularly if you're new, you want to definitely avoid stepping on anybody's toes.
I guess I could be considered a "regular". I only really go to one club, but only a couple times a month, sometimes only once in a month. I don't think I go often enough where all the girls even recognize me (some do), let alone know which girls I prefer, but I guess you never know what's being said backstage. An interesting thought though. If anything, the girls at my club should see that I spend money every time and come over more often. I also have 7 or 8 favorites there, not just 1 or 2. It all depends who's working the night I go in.
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Originally Posted by
Pretty_Penny
instead of staying at the stage and tipping "the normal 1 dollar" each song, go up once in the middle of her set and tip her a 5 or more, ask her to come see you, and go back to your seat.
i know i might get flack for saying it, but sitting stage side and tipping a dollar each song can make you seem cheap.
also (and im not assuming.. just trying to figure it out)... when you tip her that dollar, do you hold it back until she "does something" for it? or tease her with it in any way?
Very good points, thanx. I am proud to say I've never done any variation of the "you better earn this dollar" thing. I'm not gonna insult a girl I'm interested in by doing that.
I guess I've just gotta convince one girl at a time that I spend money.
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Re: Why go over to the group of guys instead of the single guys who are ready to spen
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Originally Posted by
Biggieman
Very good points, thanx. I am proud to say I've never done any variation of the "you better earn this dollar" thing. I'm not gonna insult a girl I'm interested in by doing that.
I guess I've just gotta convince one girl at a time that I spend money.
you are correct. :)
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Re: Why go over to the group of guys instead of the single guys who are ready to spen
To the OP: You sound like a decent guy, and I avoid groups until I've tried all the single guys first. However, if you came up to my stage and tipped me 3 or 4 times and only gave me a dollar each time, I would assume you're a cheap ass regardless of your age. If you really like me, tip me a $5 one time and I'll be at your table as soon as I get off stage and make sure I don't smell and am not dripping sweat.
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Re: Why go over to the group of guys instead of the single guys who are ready to spen
^ Noted.
I just figured showing repeated interest, regardless of the amount, was indication enough. Ahh well.