Re: Going to Myrtle Beach!
I'm sure that's an unpleasant situation and I can't say I understand what you're going through but at least try to have fun and know that your SW friends will always be here for you :)
:grouphug:
Re: Going to Myrtle Beach!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Peanut_Butter
And my boyfriends feelings were hurt when I told hi I was going, and i felt bad for hurting his feelings, but I was shocked he was upset...he hasnt been very nice to me lately, we dont have sex or cuddle anymore, I though he had completly checked out of the relationship. and suddenly, he gave me a hug and was nice to me again. WTF why? I gave him so many opportunities to fix this and made it very clear to him how much I wanted to repair our relationship and didnt want to leave him, but he didnt want to and thigns went so far downhill i felt like our relationship was unrepairable and I started to lose my feeligns for him and thought he felt the same way...
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1. your boyfriend is acting that way because, very likely, you're a possession to him-- a plaything that is fine for him to play with or ignore at his leisure-- NOT yours, and certainly not at the leisure of anyone in myrtle beach.
2. you should be breaking up with this guy before going to possibly fool around with another-- you already know you're breaking up-- it IS cheating even if you're about to break up.
Re: Going to Myrtle Beach!
Yeah I agree about treating you like a possession, but if he's going to be fucking other women while you are gone it kind of evens out--no sense wasting any time feeling bad about a guy like that.
Like a guy that hits on women when you are sitting right there--they are scumbags and don't deserve any respect from you, or even five minutes of guilty thoughts. Not the slightest shred. If your boyfriend has ever done that he deserves nothing but contempt from you.
The thing to do is END the relationship ASAP, preferably before you go, but as soon as humanly possible afterwards. It might seem hard to do now but 6 months from now you will wonder why it took you so long. I sincerely doubt you will ever regret it at all, I have never regretted breaking up with anyone, a few months later especially.
The situation in Myrtle could get complicated but you have to just be strong. There's a very good chance your desire to get involved with someone else will be minimal anyway, given what you are going through now. I hope so. Good luck...
Re: Going to Myrtle Beach!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
fancygirl
1. your boyfriend is acting that way because, very likely, you're a possession to him-- a plaything that is fine for him to play with or ignore at his leisure-- NOT yours, and certainly not at the leisure of anyone in myrtle beach.
:yes: You have no venom in you so you can't understand how some people view others as objects and playthings.
Get back to work and sock away some more savings. Be prepared to be "moved out" by the time you return to LV.
A person as sweet and true as you deserves to be happy. If you have to break some eggs to get to "Happy" so be it. I think you have the inner strength to make it a one time thing.;)
Re: Going to Myrtle Beach!
to clear up a few things...our relationship is complicated right now. We have been together for 6 years now, and we are in the process of breaking up, ut it's like a divorce. Everythgin we have together is shared, including car loans and bank accounts. He will most likely have sex with othe grils while I'm gone because I will most likely be having sex while I'm gone...it's just...don't ask don't tell....my boyfriend knows everythign about this other guy and has even met him before on several occasions, as this guy has come out to visit me in vegas a few times. my boyfriend knows everythign abotu my plans..i would never hide anythign from him, it's just not my style. we have always been open and honest with each other, and have kept each other up to date on our feelings during this whole break up process.
I cannot move out right now. it's simply not an option. believe me, i would have been gone last week if i could. I I just dont know when i will be able to leave, but we are trying to tolerate each other as best as possible until i can go, without completly obliterating any possible friendship in the future.
breakups are hard to do, and we both have bene real assholes to each other lately, but he is a good person, has treated me well for many eyars and he deserves my respect..even though neither one of us has been very respectufl lately. it's just a hard time right now.
but i have decided that even though i cant move out just yet, i also cant put my life on hold and pretend to be in a relatiohsip until i leave. I am very lonely and sad and desire some type of companioship and fun.
it's just so complicated and confusing..it's hard to talk abtou on here because so much gets misinterpreted or misunderstood because nobody has ever been able to understand our relationship, it was never conventional or normal.
but I'm going on my vacation. we both desperatly need a break from each other. and while im on that side of the country, I'm going home to pittsburgh to visit a few friends and press charges on my mother for the identity theft.
when i get home, I will have my nursing certification and can get a job and continue to dance on weekends to sock money away for my move.
and I have to disagree about bing his plaything...this man has gievn me his life for 6 years. he has given me everything he could give for a long time and done all he could to make me happy...just in the end, there are things he cant provide and can never make me happy. he tried very hard to do these thigns for me, but he just can't. and likewise, there are things I just cannot provide for hi m to make him completly happy...we just need to go our seperate ways. he will always be my friend though.
Re: Going to Myrtle Beach!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Peanut_Butter
And my boyfriends feelings were hurt when I told hi I was going, and i felt bad for hurting his feelings, but I was shocked he was upset...he hasnt been very nice to me lately, we dont have sex or cuddle anymore, I though he had completly checked out of the relationship. and suddenly, he gave me a hug and was nice to me again. WTF why? I gave him so many opportunities to fix this and made it very clear to him how much I wanted to repair our relationship and didnt want to leave him, but he didnt want to and thigns went so far downhill i felt like our relationship was unrepairable and I started to lose my feeligns for him and thought he felt the same way...or maybe he's feelign just liek I am. we still love each other, but just not the same way anymore, but beign single is gunna take some getting used to..
my guess of why he's doing that? it's fine for you to be "breaking up" but it's different once someone else is in the picture. my non-bf and i deal with this. we aren't together and we know we arent working out or good for each other. but neither of us wants the other with someone else. as SOOOON as i see him with another girl, i decide i HAVE to have him, and i'm sweet as pie to him. that sounds horrible but i don't MEAN it to be. it comes natural at the time to be nice to him like that.
basically.. it's ok for us to be apart but it's like a safety net. we still know the other is there kind of just in case. but if someone else were to come along, that changes things.
does that make sense?
Re: Going to Myrtle Beach!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
madmaxine
:yes: You have no venom in you so you can't understand how some people view others as objects and playthings.
I was like, wait, what? I've got plenty of venom in me. And then I saw that you were posting it and I knew you already knew that :D so you MUST be talking to the OP :D
Re: Going to Myrtle Beach!
why can't you go work in myrtle beach? you've got a place to stay, a fun boy to lighten your heart, and the ability to make money wherever you go--
you can have it all, babe. you just have to believe it.
Re: Going to Myrtle Beach!
I think you should have separate living arrangements before pursuing another relationship but I guess as long as the guy you are seeing knows you are living with your now ex and your ex knows it's over you aren't cheating so to speak.
As far as Myrtle Beach goes it's a shit hole in my opinion. I use to think it was something as a teen but after going all over Florida and the Caribbean I learned otherwise. At least you're going to see a person instead of the place.
Re: Going to Myrtle Beach!
I noticed that you refer to him as "my boyfriend," and not "my ex."
Maybe you should think about that and whether or not you really want to break up.
If you have an open relationship, neither of you should be jealous.
Have fun in Myrtle Beach. It is supposed to be a beautiful place. That's where the mother in[ I]Rocket Boys[/I] wanted to go. She loved it there so much that she painted a mural of Myrtle Beach on the wall in the dining room.
I hope you have a great time. You deserve one.
Re: Going to Myrtle Beach!
One other thought: if a guy who has known you for years knows you are breaking up with your boyfriend and is flying you across the country for three days of fun at a great resort, there is a really good chance that HE wants to be your new boyfriend.