Re: My date got aggressive.
Oh, honey! How awful. Ugh.
You know, you gave your consent to kiss when you kissed back, but that was it -- at no point does that mean that you're giving consent for anything else or even another kiss. And when you want to stop, you are making yourself clear. In no way could you possibly know that he was going to become aggressive and potentially sexually assault you.
He physically held you down which is assault, which means you have the option to make a report, which I think I would do to send the message that his behavior is unacceptable.
None of it's your fault, and I'm so sorry this happened. Hugs to you, and I hope you're OK.
Re: My date got aggressive.
I'm sorry to hear this happened. Please don't feel stupid. Like Susan said, you consented to a brief kiss but that doesn't give him the right to do whatever he wants with you. He is an evil person to try and take advantage of you like this. Please consider reporting this because this sounds like sexual assault. It is not normal or acceptable for a man to hold down a woman who is trying to get away!
***hugz***
Re: My date got aggressive.
Im so glad you got away without him raping you because it sounds like that's what he was trying to do.
You have no responsibility for his actions.
RAPE =
lack of consent.
consent can be withdrawn at any time even during the act of intercourse and if he continues then it meets the definition of rape in most jurisdictions.
So kissing does of course not give him any right to do anything that you are not comfortable with.
Re: My date got aggressive.
What a slimeball! It's good that you got away from him.
Re: My date got aggressive.
I agree that you should file a police report. Maybe he'll learn not to do that to anyone else.
Re: My date got aggressive.
Don't feel stupid, rape or attempted rape is NEVER your fault. In the future though just remember than many, many men do not respect our right to consent so consider avoiding going to non public places such as their homes where it is easier for them to commit rape and assualt. It's a shame we have to be so on guard but too many men give us no choice in such matters. I'm sorry this happened to you :hug:
Re: My date got aggressive.
Dont feel stupid!! It's not your fault! It's your right to become uncomfortable, and in no way was his behavior acceptable. Honestly, I'm relieved for your sake that you went with your gut instinct and left. Kissing him doesn't give him consent to hold you down and throw a fit. Don't blame yourself for this.
Re: My date got aggressive.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Yekhefah
I agree that you should file a police report. Maybe he'll learn not to do that to anyone else.
ditto.
Re: My date got aggressive.
What an ass. I'm glad you got away from this fucker.
It sucks that you have to be OUT and on the town, or else guys get that "entitled" mental position. I've come to the conclusion that its not safe to go to a guys home, or invite him to yours, unless you WANT to sleep with him. Its not your fault, its HIS for being willing to rape you, and ignore your feelings.
I hope you filed a police report. Even if nothing gets done, if htis record is set up, and he does it again, it will really help build that case against him.
Re: My date got aggressive.
Sometimes things hurt more when we feel betrayed.
You trusted him? Were probably having a great night? Liked him, but not in that I'd like to have drunken sex kind of way...
Then he turns out to be a total asshole!!
That just sucks, chicky. Ugh! :)
Oh and you're allowed to kiss people and then stop. Hell, you can blow people and then stop, if you want to. Nobody EVER has any excuse not to control themselves after someone says NO! This is not trying to defy gravity or turn back time. This is simply when someone tells you to fuck off - you just fuck off. It ain't impossible or even that hard.
Cheer up, girlie. There are nice people out there. (Oh, and if you see that guy again, tell him to get a cock up his arse! There is just no valid excuse for that whatsoever and you don't need that shit, hey.)
Glad you're ok. Keep safe.
Re: My date got aggressive.
No means no. To me this is a moral right. The reason is simple. If he was in your shoes he would feel the same. I am 99.9999% sure that if a gay guy tried to ass rape your date, your date would feel the same way about saying NO, even if he was drunk, he would think No Means No. Therefore there is nothing to feel bad about that.
It is of course wise to protect yourself in the future. Fact is people can be dangerous. The legal system may catch and punish them after a crime has been committed but rarely stop them from being committed. Sadly then you have to assume the worst can happen, and protect yourself accordingly. Hopefully the only thing you feel bad about is letting your guard down, and not for his immoral behavior.
Re: My date got aggressive.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Yekhefah
I agree that you should file a police report. Maybe he'll learn not to do that to anyone else.
Agreed. What a jackass he is - I am glad you got away from him.
Re: My date got aggressive.
I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who responded. I've had lingering feelings of creepiness but a friend came and stayed with me a couple days and that helped a lot. I re-read these responses again and again and you're comforting words mean a lot. Thanks ladies.
Re: My date got aggressive.
Don't ever do anything with a man you are not comfortable and just as important - do not ever feel guilty about it either. :)
Re: My date got aggressive.
File the report, please.
I have never seen the accused rapist who didn't have a string of previous rapes which were not reported. Some of the victims come forward after he is accused, others still keep it a secret.
Even if you don't get a conviction from your report, it could be used to help build a case against him in the future. And who knows, maybe he has been reported before, and your report is the one that finishes the case off.
Please report it.