I'm emotionally upset ( still ) from people stealing from me ...a few people....
About a year ago .... I had someone break into my car. It cost me around $400 ( I recovered the thing they took by catching them red handed at the place they took it ... turned out to be a neighboor who I didn't know personally ... just a random idiot).
Then ... someone in my day job who I hired to do something didn't do it. That cost me around $200 ( they did other work for me around $1000 ... so I paid them this $200 up front after building a trust of their work ethic ... now I need to hire someone else to finish something they started).
Then .... another person owes me $250 .....
Then .... a renter I had in my rental property owes me $600 ( it started out at $800 a few months ago ... she's making very slow progress and every payment she does requires about 5 calls , 5 emails , and court threats from me even though I've spaced a payment agreement way out to give her enough room to breathe and make little payments ).
So ...... the amount of all 4 items is around $1500 give or take.
I'll probably get the rental money ( again ... at a very high time cost to me ).
The $400 car theft is just money gone unless I take the person to court to recover car repair costs ( which I don't think I'll do... the person probably doesn't have a job or wages to garnish anyway ). The $250 ( third item on my list ) is gone unless I want to turn this over to collections or move forward with small claims court. I'd be doing it just to continue to put up my fight. The $200 from the person who I hired to complete a project for me is just gone too .....the person is out of the country and anything I do for recourse would have to go through the country they are in .
Anyway ..... I guess this is a bit of a whine... but does anyone have any suggestions on how to get over this stuff emotionally ? I'm having such a hard time processing that these people are actively screwing me over ( not just one person ... multiple people ). I realize that the economy is awful ...which may be why I have had no problems similar to these in 8 years ... then in the last year all these crop up ........ but the economy being awful still doesn't take the emotional sting out.
I have done NOTHING karmically to even remote deserve this stuff. I always come through on my word and feel like I'm dealing with " gutter " people lately as if they were drawn to me by something I did ..........
I guess I'm just the type of person that doesn't back down , but I keep dwelling on each of these things repeatedly even though the totel amount isn't a life altering amount. It's just continuing to upset me.... the fighting for these small amounts . I don't want to just give up on any of them ... because together they add up.
Re: I'm emotionally upset ( still ) from people stealing from me ...
damn, thats some serious bad luck! :(
Re: I'm emotionally upset ( still ) from people stealing from me ...a few people....
^ That's why I think I'm dwelling on it . It's MULTIPLE people ... not just one. I just keep telling myself " most people are good ... you just ran into some bad people in bad situations ".
I was racking my mind again to see if there is anything I've done that would cause me to karmically " deserve" this. I've come to the conclusion that shit just happens ....... there is literally nothing. I handle my life. I do what I say I will. I don't take advantage of other people. Other than hide dancing from most people who know me IRL ..... there's just nothing.
Re: I'm emotionally upset ( still ) from people stealing from me ...a few people....
dont look at it from a karma point of view, are you maybe too generous and people come back and try and take more advantage of you?
Re: I'm emotionally upset ( still ) from people stealing from me ...a few people....
Quote:
Originally Posted by
carmen_b
I was racking my mind again to see if there is anything I've done that would cause me to karmically " deserve" this. I've come to the conclusion that shit just happens.
Yup. I've have a few people from over the past few years that owe me money. $500 here, $600 there, $1000 to cover something for my mom that my brother was saposto take care of. I have decided that I'm just not helping people anymore. Seriously unless it's my mom sorry they are just out of luck. Sounds cold but really I'm just tired of it.
Re: I'm emotionally upset ( still ) from people stealing from me ...a few people....
Quote:
Originally Posted by
i.breathe.in
dont look at it from a karma point of view, are you maybe too generous and people come back and try and take more advantage of you?
I agree with this, and also want to add that you're probably too trusting of people. Something similar happened to me about six months ago because I trusted someone I shouldn't have. It still makes my blood boil just thinking about it. Now I won't trust anyone with my money except my parents.
Re: I'm emotionally upset ( still ) from people stealing from me ...a few people....
^ Not anymore .....
The amounts that I'm most likely to get back are the $600 in rental money and the $250 . The $400 car theft amount and the $200 out of country person and more unlikely. I'd be a lot more comfortable having a $600 "screw you" loss on my taxes than a $1450 one. At least on the largest dollar amount item , the person is actually making some payments.
Lexy : Was it a little or big amount ( I realize they are both upsetting, but you said " blood boiling" which describes how I feel exactly ) ?
Does anyone know of a collection agency that you don't have to pay upfront ? Are there any out there who will take over trying to get payment and then charge the person extra for their services if they successfully get the payment?
Re: I'm emotionally upset ( still ) from people stealing from me ...a few people....
As I've been taken advantage of quite recently, my heart goes out to you. You did nothing to deserve the shiftiness and mistreatment you're getting.
I may post more later but right now I'm hung over. I just wanted to throw in a few words of compassion, because blah, it sucks being taken advantage of.
Re: I'm emotionally upset ( still ) from people stealing from me ...a few people....
It was 700 dollars, which is a lot of money to me. This was my ex-roommate. The 700 dollars doesn't include the 1000 in damages to our apartment that were not my fault. The rental company took my whole deposit and I still had to pay them over 600 dollars.
And yeah. That is a lot of money to me because I am a student and money in my area is low.
But I guess I should feel lucky because she also ran off with another friend's 2006 Celica after only making a few payments on it. She does have a warrant out for her arrest but they'll probably never catch the conniving bitch.
Wow, I sure am bitter, I wish I could just let it go. Hopefully you'll get some good advice in this thread cause I sure could use it too.
Re: I'm emotionally upset ( still ) from people stealing from me ...a few people....
You could threaten to bring criminal charges against the person who broke into your car, if he or she doesn't reimburse you for damages.
For the others, small claims court may be your best bet. I tried a collection agency once to recover a debt and I never got anywhere. I then went to small claims court and was reimbursed shortly after.
If your tenant is giving you a hard time about paying rent, have you looked into evicting him or her? Maybe that would save you future trouble.
There's no such thing as "karma". Bad things happen to good people all the time. Just because something bad happens to you doesn't mean it has something to do with anything you did.
Re: I'm emotionally upset ( still ) from people stealing from me ...a few people....
yes that is true try not to be a pushover. some situations theres nothing you can do, others you can you just have to put your foot down. not always easy or worth it. ive had some expensive ass life lessons myself.
Re: I'm emotionally upset ( still ) from people stealing from me ...a few people....
Eagle :
The person who broke into the car got a felony charge ( the item they took and then I found them trying to sell at a shop the next day was over $1000 making it grand theft). That is of course ... if the police followed through with things ( who knows if they did ). When I caught the person ( my boyfriend at the time took me to pawn shops to try to find the item ) , the police were called and came that day. We found the item - it was in the persons hands . They just happened to be at the place at the same time we were. How stupid of them to talk it just a half mile down the road! I'm not sure if it's a good idea to press further with small claims there. I got the expensive item back right away and who knows what kind of person I'm dealing with. I live alone and I live in same location they broke into the car at. I'm actually scared to do anything further, but I do hope he got jail time ect. I didn't have to go to court or anything. It was quite obvious he was guilty .
The renter has already moved out. This is $ she owes ( she has been moved out for 3 months ).
I might have to do small claims for the $250. Since I live back and forth between CA and UT , I guess I'll have to do small claims where that person lives ( CA ) . I guess I should just do it already. My threats don't seem to be getting anywhere.
Lily : That's a lot to me too ! I'd definitely be very upset about that amount.
Re: I'm emotionally upset ( still ) from people stealing from me ...a few people....
aw man, that just sucks. i have about 700 quid owed to my by my previous landloard and shitty housemates :( and i'm sooo skint at the moment, i just moved into central, central london and have noo money. i think the universe is trying to teach me to be proactive and in the moment. and to not be such a wuss when it comes to confrontation lol at least i got my body and my cats
Re: I'm emotionally upset ( still ) from people stealing from me ...a few people....
Hi Carmen,
If you're concerned about your safety, then maybe it's best not to pursue the money for the car damage. You personal safety is much more important. If you ever move, maybe in the future you can try and get your money back. Sounds like you might have to go to small claims court for the $250. Maybe you can also get additional money for damages and expenses in trying to collect your debt. Maybe if you tell the person you're going to sue them for $500 or $700, to cover your expenses, if they don't pay you the $250, they'll be more cooperative. If someone refuses to pay you a debt, you're entitle to recover any expenses you have in recovering the money.
I'm sorry to hear about all of the trouble you've been through. My best advice for dealing with it is, try not to dwell on the bad things and instead try to think about the positive things in your life. That what I try to do when I have setbacks. I hope everything works out for you in the end.