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How to stop pre judging potential customers
I don't know when I developed this problem but I started pre judging every guy nin the club negatively. When I survey the club to see who to talk to next, I look at him and think, oh, he just got a dance, he won't want another one. It's a waste of time to even ask. Or oh, he got dances from a brunette, he won't want me. He has a VIP water, he mustve just gotten out of VIP, he won't be ready for a dance yet. They just walked in, don't have a drink yet, they won't be ready. I've gotten so bad with this, it's to the point where if I walk past and a guy doesn't make eye contact I assume he is trying to avoid me and won't want a dance.
By the time I've circled the club, I have eliminated every single guy in the place from wanting a dance from me.
How do I stop? Is it a lack of confidance? A fear of rejection? I tell myself I don't fear rejection I just don't want to waste my time asking guys who will say no...but I end up assuming they all will say no. VBy the time I finally get fed up with myself and say just go talk to anyone, they do say no to me! Probably because I assumed they would so they do. I'm not projecting the right attitude.
So how do I stop this mindset and get back to assuming everyone will say yes to me? How can I shift my thinking and stop pre judging everyone?
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Re: How to stop pre judging potential customers
Ok, I don't know how to tell you to stop prejudging the guys, but I know that I sometimes do the same thing, and when I do, I make myself hustle. Start from one end of the club and work your way around, from guy to guy to guy, in a row. When you are done with one guy, go to the next free guy who is right beside him, and don't even think about it.
Another thing I do is if I'm feeling negative about the customers, I don't get all worked up in my head thinking about approaching them. I literally just force myself to plop down next to them, then start talking, saying whatever's on my mind...
Also, if you don't feel like chatting, at least "wanna dance" them... Its better than not approaching them at all...
I seriously do the same thing in my head and I think the answer is not to try to change your thinking, but to stop overanalyzing the issue and to force yourself to approach more...
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Re: How to stop pre judging potential customers
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Re: How to stop pre judging potential customers
Im having trouble comeing up with things to say to these guys to "get them in the mood" im better about talking about the weather but they can do that at home... any suggestions?
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Re: How to stop pre judging potential customers
I always broke the club up into sections. I would talk to every guy in that section if I got all rejections then I'd go to a section on the other side of the club and try again. When I'd start to try prejudge guys, I'd remind myself that I'm not a mind reader and think about times when I approached guys giving strong body language to stay away and found out they did that because they had no ability to say "NO".
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Re: How to stop pre judging potential customers
you just make yourself ask every single guy
every time
even if you already asked and he said no
ask again
its still the law of averages
its a mathematical certainty that if you ask enough, you will get yes's
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Re: How to stop pre judging potential customers
When the club is buzy I am better at finding ways to appraoch custies but when its slow I always miss my chance. After i took a long break last year I havent gotten my mojo back when it comes to working the floor. But sectioning off the club usually helps me some too.
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Re: How to stop pre judging potential customers
The BEST spending customers I've ever, ever had have been guys who didn't look like they'd have money. And whom other dancers avoided based on race, assuming dude would be a perv for being black or Mexican. SCORE for me!
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Re: How to stop pre judging potential customers
one thing i do when i start doubting a customer would buy from me is say to myself, "you don't know for sure he won't want a dance from you. the only way to find out is to talk to him. the worst thing that could happen is he'll say 'no.' he may even say 'yes'!"
it's this curiosity of "will he or won't he?" that makes me get up off of my ass and talk to customers.
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Re: How to stop pre judging potential customers
^^^Wow- what a great attitude!!! :)
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Re: How to stop pre judging potential customers
Quote:
Originally Posted by
princessparis
Ha ha- there's only one way to tell if he wants to get a dance: he's in a strip club. ;D
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Re: How to stop pre judging potential customers
I too have to agree that my best spending custies were the most unsuspecting type. One was a really old guy who said "no" to every girl who talked to him and was drinking water. I got sick of seeing him sitting there, so I just went up to him and ended up selling him an hour VIP in less than five minutes. I made $500 off of him. Another guy was a young, good looking, well dressed guy sitting all by himself. I was about to go home because my night was so bad, and he asks me to go to VIP. I did three total hours of the highest VIP available and made $1500 total from him. Turns out the guy was a silver medal olympic gymnast from Switzerland, so he says. He definetely had the manners of a complete gentlemen though, had an AWESOME BODY, and was the best tourist customer I ever had. Easiest money I ever made! SO, never ever judge a customer. Look at every single one as the potential pot of gold. You never know. Keanu Reaves, by far, was the scrubbiest customer I have ever seen, even though he had millions, and if you didn't know who he was, most likely he would be overlooked by many. Mike Tyson, always wore regular clothes, nothing fancy and no big jewelry,and he always spent money(back when he was somebody), Stephen King, I didn't even recognize, until I kept looking at him and finally realized who he was. Again, totally blue collar looking, but he only spent $60 on me and did not tip. Etc. Etc. I think you get the idea.
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Re: How to stop pre judging potential customers
For guys who already got a dance -- a nice low pressure hustle is, "Hi there (familiar hug) - how ya doing? -- ready to go for round two?"
Some guys will turn you down gently - others will want round two, three and four.
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Re: How to stop pre judging potential customers
ya know..I just sucked it up and started walking up to everybody. lap to lap to lap: Hi! you look ready for a dance!"
If they say no, I happily accept the rejection, say thanks anyway, maybe I'll check on you later, have a great night!
I'm lucky enough to work at a very large club... and I just tell myself that there has to be at least 1 person willing to buy a dance from me that very moment, I just got to find him. Like a fun needle in a haystack game.
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Re: How to stop pre judging potential customers
If a guy already had a dance I say "Hey.. just saw you get a mediocre dance.. ready for the BEST dance in the place?"
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Re: How to stop pre judging potential customers
i find if i work doubles with another girl works better because we approach more people and the other person keeps you motivated, nags if needed so u dont have time to talk yourself out of approaching.
also guys find it harder to say no to two girls giggling hugging and feeling each others boobs
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Re: How to stop pre judging potential customers
I do this sometimes too. I think I actually do better when it's not super busy because I don't feel like I can have the luxary to judge people, I just have to work with whatever I have.
When I don't know who to ask, I just start walking around the club. If I notice a guy staring or trying to make eye contact I go and talk to him. Even if I start coming up with possible reasons he won't be a customer, I tell myself he showed interest in me so it can't be a total waste of time to hustle him.
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Re: How to stop pre judging potential customers
Sometimes I do a round and profile people, this can help. I might do a round and be like "that guy already tried to grope me for free" "that guy said no" "that guy is missing a tooth, gross" "that guy hasnt showered" and "that guy over there looks super unfreindly." Now if this doesnt eliminate all of hte customers, it can be a good thing because it can narrow down to the people more likely to spend on me. However, if it seems like its a bar full of these, then i have to deal with what i can. At this point i find the customer who seems most promising, especially if he made eye contact or if he is one i havent talked to yet.
One trick i have that seems silly i kinda borrowed from a movie. I dont remember what the movie was, but the advice a chick was given was "you have 10 seconds to be scared then you have to go fight." (this was obviously a different, way more dramatic and violent situation). I liked the quote and have tailored it to many things, including hustling. For hustlng it is: "you have 10 seconds to get over your fear of rejection and get over any intitial hatred you have of this customer." Give myself 10 seconds to mentally let out all of the negativity and be a wuss-- usually i will count in my head and take deep breaths. When 10 seconds is over, my time of being a pussy is over. thats it. Then I put on a smile and walk up seductively to first target. If first guy is fail, then I usually bounce around to every 3rd customer or so. I dont like going around to the next available guy because i feel like if guys see the previous rejections , they are more likely to follow suit so i try to find a guy who is less likely to have been paying attention to me getting rejected (unless the guy next to the guy i am talking to is staring in a good way, in which case I will wink at him, try to close my sale with the unpromising customer i am with, and then go to the guy staring).
this method might sound like overkill and a tad silly, but on a night of dealing with exceedingly rude customers and feeling like i am going to continue dealing with horrible people, the 10 second thought collection is necessary before i go into sexy hustle mode. The important thing here is to make sure that in my head i know that after the 10 seconds are up, there will be no more approach anxiety or mental bitching, just hustle smile repeat until i feel like i have exhausted my options and need to regroup.
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Re: How to stop pre judging potential customers
Athena, you beast! }:D
That's great advice! I know I have personally talked myself out of talking to all kinds of customers, thereby systematically eliminating every guy IN the club on MORE than one occasion, lol. The monotony of the rejection you get working the floor really makes it that much more overwhelming when you do encounter a customer whom you KNOW just got a dance, or whatever. I think this is why I sometimes start making excuses or developing elaborate theories on why guys WON'T spend any money with me. I know - it's totally silly.
I really like the idea of talking to every third guy, but as it is, I'm keeping track of guys names that I have decent rapport with on a little notepad in my purse each night so I can greet them at their table by name... Shucks, if I was hard-pressed to have to remember every third guy I approached, I'd probably have to carry around an easel and make a working map of the bar just to keep track of what's what! :rotfl:
Seriously, though, talking to every third guy or so is a great idea because that always means that there's someone out there you haven't talked to, and affords you the opportunity to make multiple rounds of "working the floor" without feeling like you've exhausted every single prospect available in a single round. I can see where it would also minimize the amount of rejection you experience while working the floor.
I also had not given much thought to a guy seeing me get rejected, by another custie or how that might affect his decision to spend his time/money with me. That's a very interesting theory. I'll have to pay more attention to this and see if this stuff really does make a difference.
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Re: How to stop pre judging potential customers
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Kimbre
I also had not given much thought to a guy seeing me get rejected, by another custie or how that might affect his decision to spend his time/money with me. That's a very interesting theory. I'll have to pay more attention to this and see if this stuff really does make a difference.
Its the same idea behind why you should try to act busy and stuff. Guys want what other guys want... the girl who is giving lots of dances will likely end up on a roll because guys want to see what the fuss is about. Less availability-- more demand. I find even if you are unable to seem super busy, bouncing back and forth makes it look like you are a bit. If a guy sees you get rejected by 3 other customers, then he might also wonder what is wrong. customers do notice these things to an extent, especially if they are sitting alone and assessing the situation as well as the girls. The girl bouncing back and forth, especially if she is making lotsa sales, looks much more appealing than one going table to table, gettng rejected, and having the sad lost puppy look.
It doesnt specifically have to be every 3rd or whatever. usually it just works out that way for me, but it depends on the clubs layout (now im at one where its rectangular). Just doing a pattern of sorts where rejection is not as obvious, visible, and fresh, to your next target is good. and yes, it does make it so you can do more rounds, keep a better eye on the floor, and still have customers you havent hit up yet.
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Re: How to stop pre judging potential customers
There's a super hustler at my club who actually does the opposite of the every 3rd guy rule and will basically go down the entire line and talk to every single guy from one corner of the room until the next. Doesn't matter if it's the guy's friend or a virtual stranger next to him, she will just keep it coming. And she does amazingly well!
I found it a bit weird for the longest time and even thought it seemed a little rude. Until one day when I got on the dance floor and saw that there was NO ONE who really looked like potential.So I said, what the heck, and did the 'duck-duck-goose' strategy, talking to EVERYONE. In a ROW, no skipping over customers.
And what was funny was, a few of the guys who were right next to one or two other customers who turned me down were so shocked by my perseverance/gall/chutzpah that they actually ended up spending more than I expected them to. So on nights when you really aren't getting a good read on the crowd, try out just schmoozing every single person in your path, and 'forgot' your manners for a night.
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Re: How to stop pre judging potential customers
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Originally Posted by
london
There's a super hustler at my club who actually does the opposite of the every 3rd guy rule and will basically go down the entire line and talk to every single guy from one corner of the room until the next. Doesn't matter if it's the guy's friend or a virtual stranger next to him, she will just keep it coming. And she does amazingly well!
I found it a bit weird for the longest time and even thought it seemed a little rude. Until one day when I got on the dance floor and saw that there was NO ONE who really looked like potential.So I said, what the heck, and did the 'duck-duck-goose' strategy, talking to EVERYONE. In a ROW, no skipping over customers.
And what was funny was, a few of the guys who were right next to one or two other customers who turned me down were so shocked by my perseverance/gall/chutzpah that they actually ended up spending more than I expected them to. So on nights when you really aren't getting a good read on the crowd, try out just schmoozing every single person in your path, and 'forgot' your manners for a night.
I could see this working maybe with some personality types. Maybe if her personality type is one where she is super bubbly and appears to want to socialize with everyone and makes her sales very subtle. also, she probably doenst have the the bad habbit that i sometimes have of being bitchy to asshole customers. I have a tendency to make smart ass remarks before walking off if i deal with a customer who treats me badly. Although if i talk to a guy who acts like an obvious creep and the next guy is watching, sometimes i will go to the next guy and act as if he can protect me from the previous creep. guys like being the protectors so this plays into one fantasy and can help make a sale.
However, in my experience, men would much rather have what other men want than someone who is a persevering go getter. On a really bad night though, if you get 3 rejections in a row and 4th guy down the line saw 2 or 3 of them, you would definitely need to have a certain presense about you to not look desperate. Desperate is the last thing that men want, unless they think they can get extras out of it or feel pity. Props to you if you can make going down the line of men work though... i personally just have much better luck hiding the fact that some customers do not want me from other customers. I try to seem as in demand as possible.
Also it should be noted, that if I make a sale and the guy looks happy about it, approaching the guy who witnessed this is often to my benifit as he saw that another guy wanted me. especially if i come back with the guy and he looks happy.
so yea, the going every 3rd or so customer routine is really not a steadfast one, there are many exceptions, it is just kind of the pattern that tends to be most effective for me.
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Re: How to stop pre judging potential customers
I totally understand what you mean, Athena! Sometimes, though, it is not always a string of rejections...I usually try and pre-qualify the guy and see how long he has been there and how into our conversation he seems to be.
If he says he is waiting on someone, I will smile, give a quick hug, and say, " OK, remember me when you're done, yea?" or something to this effect and move on to the next guy. If he's waiting for a beer/other friends etc I will chat him up long enough to see if he invites me to sit with him and have a drink. If he doesn't mention it, I'll come up with a reason to leave and may head back over the next time around after some time has passed.
Initially, I felt very worried that guys would see me get a bunch of rejections and be turned off. Yet, in the past, when I'd make a star pattern across the room or skip over guys and got more than two rejections, it seemed like the guys noticed that more.
When I go in a row, it seems like I might just be saying hello to club regulars and not necessarily pitching a sale to those just out of earshot. Whether you pitch a sale or make a sale ceases to become the focus for a bit. If you can get them to smile and warm up to you, other guys within that area of the club will see that you are a cheerful person to be around and 'assume' that you may have a fan club since you're chatting it up with EVERYONE. It's sort of a way to promote your own popularity, whether it exists or not (depending on how regularly you work at that particular club).
I agree that this strategy is not feasible or practical every night, but on those 'ugh, I don't necessarily see any 'gold' in the room' type nights, this sort of creates a zone for you to make miracles happen because you don't waste any more time with the pre-judging or second guessing talking to certain guys.