Can't see the forest for the trees
I'm not sure if that is the appropriate metaphor to describe my situation, but here it is:
Whenever I haven't danced for a couple of weeks (like right now), I feel like it is easy to step back and look at the whole picture of what I want from dancing. I can calculate it and see that even if I only make $150-200 per night and work 2 days a week, I will still have made back my living expenses at the end of the month. I can see the importance of making back living expenses versus depleting my savings to get through school.
I can also see that it doesn't matter how many guys tell me "No" as long as I make that $150-200. And as long as I can get hired and still pull in the necessary money, I can see that it doesn't matter if I am not in the best shape of my life, especially since dancing will tone me up quick.
When I start dancing, though, my mindset flips around completely. Suddenly I'm pissed as all hell if I only bring home $150. I forget what a bad idea it is to use up my savings and lose sight of my financial objective for this year (basically, to keep what little I have in the bank). I get depressed at all the rejections and think that they are happening because I weigh 10 lbs more than when I danced in the past. I think "Eh, what's the point" and stop going to work, even though I am 99% sure that I will make a lot more by going there than by sitting at home! I seriously consider quitting for a couple of months to get back down to my ideal weight, even though I'm making my (admittedly depressingly low) goal at my current weight.
Anyone else deal with this problem? Any ideas on how to solve it? (I think writing it down helped already - I'll definitely look back at this thread whenever I need a reminder of what I really want from dancing.)
Re: Can't see the forest for the trees
Yeah... you're right. I really do need to be making at least $250-300 to feel properly compensated for taking off my clothes, talking to a million people, dealing with assholes, etc. If I make that much, I feel satisfied that I didn't give away more than I got in return. If I make $400 or more, then I am really happy, love my job, and promptly forget about any unpleasantness that happened. But less than $250 and I start dwelling on all the crappy stuff, even though I'm making enough to cover living expenses and have a little left over.
Guess the way to get a positive attitude is to make more money! Lol.
I think I will try envisioning what I want to buy with the money and focus on it whenever I'm feeling negative about not making very much money. Sort of a concrete reminder of what REALLY matters. Right now I'm hoping to save up for a boob job, so I'll be picturing big bouncy Ds. Can't get too stressed out with that mental image!
Re: Can't see the forest for the trees
I do this too. I try to keep focused on the goal for the week instead of making the daily number most important. So it $x toward the weekly goal.