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stage name vs. birth name
I have decided to start dancing and of course the first thing that pops up in my mind is: what name will I go by? Well, as soon as I ask myself this question, I feel a very strong sense of defiance. Why should I have to come up with another name? What is wrong with the one I have? Who gives a shit if someone knows it's "me?"
I have given this several months worth of thought and come to the conclusion that I will dance under my own name. First of all, I don't like the idea that I should use a stage name to protect my identity because of how other individuals and society in general will judge me for my career choice. Basically, fuck them, it's not my problem it's yours.
Second of all, I realize that some girls feel the need to create another persona for work. I do not look down on this and see that it is necessary for some in order to slip into their role as stripper and switch into their role as mother, daughter, sister, student, etc. when they leave work. But I can't ignore the nagging feeling that it is not right to have to separate these parts of your identity. They should not be contradictory and I think that they can fit together.
Third, I have had several people tell me that this is simply a safety issue. That I should not allow customers to know my real name because it would make it easier for stalkers to find me. I have to be blunt with my reply to this line of thinking: It's total bullshit and I think it feeds into the idea that strippers should be ashamed of what they do. That they need to be someone else so they aren't subject to the prejudice most people have against sex workers. If a customer wants to find me they don't have to have my real first name.
It is a revolutionary act in some respects to shun stage names. I am me and there is nothing wrong with that even if I take my clothes off for money. By adopting a stage name I feel that I am buying into and possibly even condoning mechanisms of stigma.
So, I would love to hear some feed back on what other dancers think about this idea.
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Re: stage name vs. birth name
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Originally Posted by
librarising
Third, I have had several people tell me that this is simply a safety issue. That I should not allow customers to know my real name because it would make it easier for stalkers to find me. I have to be blunt with my reply to this line of thinking: It's total bullshit and I think it feeds into the idea that strippers should be ashamed of what they do. That they need to be someone else so they aren't subject to the prejudice most people have against sex workers. If a customer wants to find me they don't have to have my real first name.
No, they don't HAVE to have your first name if they really want to stalk you- but it will help them along if they do decide to stalk you. That and a few other seemingly innocent pieces of info can be all it takes to have someone showing up in your neighborhood, at your school, at a day job, etc.
I've had a stalker before though, so I'm very safety conscious. I don't want to give them anything that might help.
That being said, it's not as revolutionary as you think. There are many girls who choose to dance under their real name.
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Re: stage name vs. birth name
Quote:
Originally Posted by
librarising
I have decided to start dancing and of course the first thing that pops up in my mind is: what name will I go by? Well, as soon as I ask myself this question, I feel a very strong sense of defiance. Why should I have to come up with another name? What is wrong with the one I have? Who gives a shit if someone knows it's "me?"
I have given this several months worth of thought and come to the conclusion that I will dance under my own name. First of all, I don't like the idea that I should use a stage name to protect my identity because of how other individuals and society in general will judge me for my career choice. Basically, fuck them, it's not my problem it's yours.
Second of all, I realize that some girls feel the need to create another persona for work. I do not look down on this and see that it is necessary for some in order to slip into their role as stripper and switch into their role as mother, daughter, sister, student, etc. when they leave work. But I can't ignore the nagging feeling that it is not right to have to separate these parts of your identity. They should not be contradictory and I think that they can fit together.
Third, I have had several people tell me that this is simply a safety issue. That I should not allow customers to know my real name because it would make it easier for stalkers to find me. I have to be blunt with my reply to this line of thinking: It's total bullshit and I think it feeds into the idea that strippers should be ashamed of what they do. That they need to be someone else so they aren't subject to the prejudice most people have against sex workers. If a customer wants to find me they don't have to have my real first name.
It is a revolutionary act in some respects to shun stage names. I am me and there is nothing wrong with that even if I take my clothes off for money. By adopting a stage name I feel that I am buying into and possibly even condoning mechanisms of stigma.
So, I would love to hear some feed back on what other dancers think about this idea.
i think its important to have a different name for saftey issues. Its not bullshit. I make up a different name, i lie about the school i go to, and i lie about where i'm from because stalkers are very real....and i like to prevent them at all cost.
If you don't care about stalkers, then i think thats pretty interesting and why not use your real name.....
But unless every time someone asks, you make it a point to tell them its your real name....it doesn't really matter
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Re: stage name vs. birth name
Quote:
Originally Posted by
librarising
Second of all, I realize that some girls feel the need to create another persona for work. I do not look down on this and see that it is necessary for some in order to slip into their role as stripper and switch into their role as mother, daughter, sister, student, etc. when they leave work. But I can't ignore the nagging feeling that it is not right to have to separate these parts of your identity. They should not be contradictory and I think that they can fit together.
You probably don't know this yet, but sex work can be very draining, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, etc. Burn out comes on hard and fast if you're not careful. The author of "Turning Pro" a guide for those looking to work in the sex industry, suggests trying to keep some separation between your job and your outside life. For incall escorts, it might be changing the bed spread when you're working and not working. For many workers, it might be wearing different colors (more blues, greens, purples for time off, more reds and blacks for work). Having a stage name is just another way to separate work time and off-work time, to help you feel like you've left it behind for the day, so you aren't carrying all that work energy around with you when work is over.
I know it seems all new and fun and exciting at the beginning,but trust me: burn out is something every dancer will have to deal with at some point. And it is a bitch. Doing little things to ward it off is always a good idea.
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Re: stage name vs. birth name
Also, bear in mind it will make you more recognizable in the outside world, just like wearing the same bikini you wore on stage on Friday night to the beach on a Saturday afternoon will make you more likely to be recognized. Imagine if you had a "straight" job interview down the line. If you have the same name you have in the club, it might be enough to trigger your potential employers memory as to where they saw you before (I know sounds like a long shot, but it's just one example of how it makes you more recognizable).
I think it's great that you're not ashamed of what you do. But don't forget that the rest of the world is not always so accepting, and that could come back to haunt you in the future when you need something.
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Re: stage name vs. birth name
Yes, I understand that the work is draining, I did it years ago for a short time, and have decided to take it up again. I guess that it didn't do much for me to separate from it though, the name wasn't enough. I do know some girls that used their birth names but I feel they are in the minority. As for jobs, yes I agree with you Elvira. This is definitely a possibility, but it illustrates my point exactly. If someone does not hire me because I am a former stripper, then that is discrimination. I should not have to hide the fact that I used to dance and I would be far more inclined to place a call to the ACLU in this situation.
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Re: stage name vs. birth name
It's your personal preferance. For me I liked another, it became my alter ego. I was an actress in my club. It was good way for me to leave the bullshit in the club when I left.
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Re: stage name vs. birth name
^^^ Yes,it would be discrimination. But realistically, there's very little you can do about it. They won't outright say they're not hiring you because of that. I very much doubt the ALCU could do much about it.
You shouldn't HAVE to worry about it, of course. And Japanese school girls shouldn't HAVE to worry about being groped on the Tokyo subway. But that's the reality.
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Re: stage name vs. birth name
Jesus Christ, I am rolling my eyes so hard right now. You're not about to change the world by going by your real name. Customers probably won't believe you either way.
It's about safety and being anonymous, NOT SHAME. You absolutely do have something to be scared of from your customers.
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Re: stage name vs. birth name
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Originally Posted by
ViolaStrings
Customers probably won't believe you either way.
It's about safety and being anonymous, NOT SHAME. You absolutely do have something to be scared of from your customers.
That bolded part is very true!
However, and I've thought about this on my own time, we tell people almost every day and quite casually what our real first names are. Since stalkers can be picked up just about anywhere, is it that big of a deal?
Most would say yes. I use a fake name, and a fake real name, and only 1 "real customer" (aka not a drunk teenage boy peer) knows me by my real name. The nature of our job is to mislead men at least to some subconscious extent by creating false intimacy which is very appealing for stalkers to latch on to.
It's your call at the end of the day, though. Be careful but I do like the sentiment behind your idea.
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Re: stage name vs. birth name
For me, letting customers know my real name is getting on way too personal level with them that I'm just not comfortable with. Plus, I would hate it if we were in the CR and they moaned or said my real name in any sexual context (Oh X, your pussy looks so nice I wish I could be inside it, EWWW) whatsoever. I like having a different name to go with stripper persona.
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Re: stage name vs. birth name
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Originally Posted by
LizardQueen
That bolded part is very true!
However, and I've thought about this on my own time, we tell people almost every day and quite casually what our real first names are. Since stalkers can be picked up just about anywhere, is it that big of a deal?
thats true... but in the club we are naked and dancing for these men... in fact it is our job to be their sexual desire.. so it seems more unsafe to give out your real name at the SC
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Re: stage name vs. birth name
I would not recommend using your real name either. A stage name is better to conceal your identity. There are a lot of sick people out there that love to fuck with women, dont give them a leg up on your pesonal identity if they decide to stalk you,
follow you out of the club or whatever other means they may try to.
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Re: stage name vs. birth name
eh. i always thought stripper names were just supposed to be hotter than real names.
whatever. i work with a lot of girls who use their real names. i'd probably use my real name, but there's already a girl there using our real name.
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Re: stage name vs. birth name
I use a stage name because I sell a fantasy; part of the fantasy is being the girl that the customers desires - and plain Jane is not a fantasy girl. Using a stage name has nothing to do with hiding from societies ignorant derisions towards strippers.
Secondly I think a stage name is good for protection. Not just from stalkers, but protection from current or future accusations strangers, coworkers, employers, goverment, etc might throw at you. Fact is, most people do not look kindly on strippers.
It is in the best interest of the dancer to use a stage name.
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Re: stage name vs. birth name
Quote:
Originally Posted by
librarising
I have decided to start dancing and of course the first thing that pops up in my mind is: what name will I go by? Well, as soon as I ask myself this question, I feel a very strong sense of defiance. Why should I have to come up with another name? What is wrong with the one I have? Who gives a shit if someone knows it's "me?"
Wow, defiant indeed::)
I have given this several months worth of thought and come to the conclusion that I will dance under my own name. First of all, I don't like the idea that I should use a stage name to protect my identity because of how other individuals and society in general will judge me for my career choice. Basically, fuck them, it's not my problem it's yours.
Thats not why most girls have stage names, them judging me is the least of my problems.
Second of all, I realize that some girls feel the need to create another persona for work. I do not look down on this and see that it is necessary for some in order to slip into their role as stripper and switch into their role as mother, daughter, sister, student, etc. when they leave work. But I can't ignore the nagging feeling that it is not right to have to separate these parts of your identity. They should not be contradictory and I think that they can fit together.
wow, Thanks for "not looking down on us". also, please don't tell me what they should/shouldn't be.
Third, I have had several people tell me that this is simply a safety issue. That I should not allow customers to know my real name because it would make it easier for stalkers to find me. I have to be blunt with my reply to this line of thinking: It's total bullshit and I think it feeds into the idea that strippers should be ashamed of what they do. That they need to be someone else so they aren't subject to the prejudice most people have against sex workers. If a customer wants to find me they don't have to have my real first name.
All right smartypants, this has nothing to do with being ashamed of what you do, its about the simple logistics of being easier to find armed by douchebags with your real name. And I sure as hell don't want to be stalked by the douchebags i meet at work, or anyone for that matter.
It is a revolutionary act in some respects to shun stage names. I am me and there is nothing wrong with that even if I take my clothes off for money. By adopting a stage name I feel that I am buying into and possibly even condoning mechanisms of stigma.
Wow, revolution indeed:O BTW I know plenty of girls that dance by their real name.
So, I would love to hear some feed back on what other dancers think about this idea.
.....
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Re: stage name vs. birth name
Quote:
Originally Posted by
librarising
Second of all, I realize that some girls feel the need to create another persona for work. I do not look down on this and see that it is necessary for some in order to slip into their role as stripper and switch into their role as mother, daughter, sister, student, etc. when they leave work. But I can't ignore the nagging feeling that it is not right to have to separate these parts of your identity. They should not be contradictory and I think that they can fit together.
Do old, fat, boring men turn you? If they don't, then you need an alternate persona.
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Re: stage name vs. birth name
I think you will be making a big mistake going by your own name. It's not about shame and safety is a real concern.
Personally my name is for people who know me in my real life. Customers in the club do not need to know the real me. I would find it very unsettling for a customer to call me by my real name.
Having said that, I have worked with a dancer - known here as GoldCoastGirl who goes by her real name.
It's definately NOT something I would do.
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Re: stage name vs. birth name
Most dancers don't use stage names because they're ashamed of what they do. In fact, they use stage names for a lot of the same reasons any other performer uses a stage name--because what they do is art, and like Snow White said, fantasy.
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Re: stage name vs. birth name
i kinda agree with the OP's points. that said, i don't use my real name but i do use a nickname. And i don't fear the customers so much as evil coworkers that want to make your life hell.
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Re: stage name vs. birth name
Having a stage name has nothing to do with being "ashamed" of what you do. The reality of it is that we work with a high population of weirdos and freaks and you shouldn't give out ANY Personal information about yourself for your own safety.
And for the "persona" a lot of girls make up a persona because their own personality is more laid back serious or mellow than what it takes to make $$$ in a club.
I'm not ashamed that I take my clothes of for money, but I also don't want to give stalkers any more information they need. If you know somebody's first name, birthday and hometown you can find their address on the internet BTW.
I think once you actually start dancing you'll see what I'm talking about. You're being all ivory-tower about something that is a simple safety procedure.
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Re: stage name vs. birth name
I've danced for almost 11 years and the entire time I've danced under my real name, Susan. I've never had any problems or safety issues because of it. If someone wants to stalk you they can find ways to do it. I've known plenty of girls with stage names that have been stalked.
There have been customer's who don't believe that it's my real name, that's when a fake name comes into play for me.
It's up to you what you decided to do. Whether you use a stage name or not, you have to be safe and look out for yourself.
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Re: stage name vs. birth name
whatev, use your real name. the only person it could harm is u
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Re: stage name vs. birth name
I kinda like my stage name. I also had a stalker. This guy went looking for a Sandi at the old Spearmint Rhino in Albuquerque. When he asked for her, he got a fat blonde that weighed about 200 llbs. Most stalker stories don't end humorously though.
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Re: stage name vs. birth name
It is going to freak you out the first time you hear your goverment name announced to go on stage, or called out in a crowded club. Or when bump into a stranger at the grocery store, mall or DMV that knows your real name but you can't remember where you know him from.
And you would be amazed how easy it could be for a stalker to find you. Just a few innocent details, first name, car model, birth date, a previouse job, where you went to high school ect can all add up to a dedicated psycho tracking you down. You're voulenteering one more peice of info to be googled.
I know I sound paranoid, but I've heard too many customers come back to the club and say something creepy due to an obscure, slightly personal detail I mentioned. Like going to my favorite bar or former job. If they had that info with a name to ask about I could be pretty screwed.