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Re: Asking to touch in non-forbidden areas?
i always go for the gentle caress a lot with the back of the hand or hold hands--which is by far my favorite thing. i must admit i have never asked and have gotten once--- (sweetie i do not want you to get in trouble), which of course i took as keep your damn hands off of me.:-[
Thats why i like this sight it does give helpful information that i should already realize but sometimes you just need a reminder-----you know we are very hard to train and tend to need those (are you out of your ever loving mind reminders)
Keep in mind some of you are so damn good at your job---that you actually make a guy feel like he should GENTLY---i dont mean groping and grabbing and pinching-- rub or caress your shoulder or want to hold your hand. in that weird psychie of a man we think we should send out a positive that we enjoy what your are doing for us.............all the time forgetting that this isnt real.
i of course do not speak for pigs---but keep in mind we are not all pigs--i am proud to say i have never seen a dancer get pissed or miffed with me.
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Re: Asking to touch in non-forbidden areas?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
FBR
^^ Kelly kudos to you for recognizing niche earning opportunities. I'm not a fetish guy myself but I know a few and they are generally harmless (foot, hair etc the piss guys are a little weird tho) and are willing to pay generously for you to let them engage under your supervision.
FBR
I actually enjoyed the fetish guys. They were pretty cool, they came in all the time and spent a lot. They never asked for sex or anything like that. It's funny because one night both came in and it was a slow night. Girls were leaving owing house and I made about 300-400 because of the fetish guys. Never dealt with the piss guys though. Did have an armpit guy (he was a little strange).
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Re: Asking to touch in non-forbidden areas?
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Originally Posted by
Otoki
Keep a few things in mind. One, those lines are probably lies to make you feel good about yourself (and thus want to get dances with them next time)..
Agreed and already acknowledged.
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Originally Posted by
Otoki
Two, if you "push the envelope" when you have already gotten explicit rules, you are being an asshole. If you experiment by touching without getting explicit rules, you are obviously hoping that you happen to get a dancer who allows touching, whether or not the club allows it..
As I pointed out in earlier reply, I generally ask. If I push the envelope it's because I forgot to ask and don't know the club. I travel a lot so new clubs are common for me.
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Originally Posted by
Otoki
Three, trying to touch and then stopping if the dancer indicates discomfort doesn't make you a good customer. It makes you someone who doesn't want their ass kicked by the enormous bouncer. If you were a good custie, you would ASK first, and NOT try touching if that was already said to be forbidden..
Agree and point taken... but disagree about the bouncer. I "test boundaries" if I forgot to ask and I stop at the first potentially negative signal from the dancer because I am respectful. Never have I come close to pissing off a dancer or in any way received negative feedback.
In the event I forgot to ask, I guess I would be a better custie if I did not "test boundaries" at all. Maybe this is a symantics thing... for me "pushing the envelope" does NOT mean going from touching arms to boobs to inner thigh! I will meditatively consider changing my ways to: me no ask then me no touch. :)
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Originally Posted by
Otoki
Four, DO NOT go by what you see happening around you. Some dancers are more comfortable with contact than others. Sometimes, these higher-contact dancers are breaking the rules, while other times the lower-contact dancers are simply not comfortable allowing the amount of contact considered acceptable by the club. Each dancer has different boundaries, and the only way to know what they are is by asking, VERBALLY, what she allows.
Excellent point.
MH
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Re: Asking to touch in non-forbidden areas?
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Originally Posted by
bsteve
I am not an octopus, I don’t touch any more then other guys appear to, and I can enjoy dances without touching as well. But I like to touch. If a dancer establishes her boundaries of touching at the start of her dances, do I need to ask to touch during the dance? In both of the above case I simply tried to ask to touch so as not to make the dancers uncomfortable, but in both cases it appeared that the dancers made more out of the question than I intended.
in my experience at clubs that are non air dance clubs, the guy will just start playing with my hair or touching my feet without asking, if I'm not in to it, I usually don't say anything, I will just change positions so he can't easily continue, and the guy usually gets the hint. If I have no problem with it, I still don't say anything, I just let him continue untill basically I'm over it, and then I will do the change position thing. Most of the guys I dance for have short attention spans anyways, no one has played with my hair for over a minute during a dance for example. *shrugs*
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Re: Asking to touch in non-forbidden areas?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
FBR
^^ Kelly kudos to you for recognizing niche earning opportunities. I'm not a fetish guy myself but I know a few and they are generally harmless (foot, hair etc the piss guys are a little weird tho) and are willing to pay generously for you to let them engage under your supervision.
FBR
The fetish guys are some of my favorites. They're well behaved and generally there is a built in D/s feel to the "dances" while they worship some part of your body. I adore the foot fetishists. Yes, please pay me to give me a foot massage after I've been traipsing around in 7" heels all day.
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Originally Posted by
stressed
Keep in mind some of you are so damn good at your job---that you actually make a guy feel like he should GENTLY---i dont mean groping and grabbing and pinching-- rub or caress your shoulder or want to hold your hand. in that weird psychie of a man we think we should send out a positive that we enjoy what your are doing for us.............all the time forgetting that this isnt real.
i of course do not speak for pigs---but keep in mind we are not all pigs--i am proud to say i have never seen a dancer get pissed or miffed with me.
While I can understand getting really "into" it, a dancer's physical boundaries should always be respected. Always ask first, because if not, you are touching without permission. Just because the girls don't seem angry (I give the same "I don't want you to get in trouble" response, or some variation) they could be disgusted/annoyed under the friendly demeanor. I know I get pissed at guys who try to touch me during dances when I've already firmly placed their hands on the arms of their chairs.
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Originally Posted by
Kellydancer
I actually enjoyed the fetish guys. They were pretty cool, they came in all the time and spent a lot. They never asked for sex or anything like that. It's funny because one night both came in and it was a slow night. Girls were leaving owing house and I made about 300-400 because of the fetish guys. Never dealt with the piss guys though. Did have an armpit guy (he was a little strange).
OOH! I used to have an armpit guy! It was definitely weird to have a guy's nose buried in my armpit;D
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Re: Asking to touch in non-forbidden areas?
Mr. Happy, here's my main issue, which I have finally figured out how to put in words:
If you didn't get rules first, ask VERBALLY. I don't like guys touching me at all during dances. Every time a guy does that it makes me extremely tense and wary, and my dances become more cautious (ie I can see your hands at all times, I avoid positions in which my body is close to your hands/face, etc). If you ask verbally, you avoid violating the dancer's boundaries. Can you consider how harassed dancers like me would feel if guys tried to touch us all the time instead of just asking about the rules?
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Re: Asking to touch in non-forbidden areas?
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Originally Posted by
Otoki
Mr. Happy, here's my main issue, which I have finally figured out how to put in words:
If you didn't get rules first, ask VERBALLY. I don't like guys touching me at all during dances. Every time a guy does that it makes me extremely tense and wary, and my dances become more cautious (ie I can see your hands at all times, I avoid positions in which my body is close to your hands/face, etc). If you ask verbally, you avoid violating the dancer's boundaries. Can you consider how harassed dancers like me would feel if guys tried to touch us all the time instead of just asking about the rules?
I get it now. Thanks for clarifying. I was thinking about the times I forget to ask... they are times I'm usually drinking; however, drinking is no excuse for poor manners. If I'm ever too drunk to ask about the rules, I don't belong in the club anyway. So, ask I shall.
MH
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Re: Asking to touch in non-forbidden areas?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Mr. Happy
I get it now. Thanks for clarifying. I was thinking about the times I forget to ask... they are times I'm usually drinking; however, drinking is no excuse for poor manners. If I'm ever too drunk to ask about the rules, I don't belong in the club anyway. So, ask I shall.
MH
Thank you.
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Re: Asking to touch in non-forbidden areas?
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Originally Posted by
Mr. Happy
And now a perspective from high-contact clubs in Florida... Of course, every club is different, so I generally ask before a dance "Tell me about your dances." The answer is usually fairly explicit and ranges from "I can touch you anywhere but you can't touch me"" to "you can touch me anywhere but ______."
I'm not a groper either, but I will slowly, ever so gently push the envelope. If I forgot to ask about the rules of engagement, I'll start by touching near her knees or the side of her arms. Any negative signals and I stop and my hands are at my side.
This is why I generally won't let custies touch me even in areas I don't mind - if I let him touch my butt, he inevitably tries to go for the gold, if I let him touch my breasts, my nipples get assaulted. Asking is better. Just my two cents.
Sorry if this was redundant, Mr Happy, I reacted to your post without reading the thread through.
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Re: Asking to touch in non-forbidden areas?
No problem M_O_P. Thanks.
I was at a club last weekend and thought you and Otoki would enjoy this story. I was in a nude club and took a lovely lady up on a dance. We went back to the dance area and before I even sat down she said: "Here's my rules: You can touch anywhere but my cookie, and touch no part of my body with your mouth. If you do, I'll rip your balls off." I laughed and said "Could you please be more specific?" She laughed and gave me a great dance. After I recovered from the image of my detached balls flying through the air, I enjoyed the dance. I was a good Mr. Happy. :)
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Re: Asking to touch in non-forbidden areas?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Mr. Happy
I "test boundaries" if I forgot to ask and I stop at the first potentially negative signal from the dancer because I am respectful. Never have I come close to pissing off a dancer or in any way received negative feedback.
Not trying to start a flame war, but why can't you ask once the dance has already started?
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Re: Asking to touch in non-forbidden areas?
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Originally Posted by
Steve123
Not trying to start a flame war, but why can't you ask once the dance has already started?
No problem, S123... The answer lies within my 1/8 post. I now always ask even once the dance is underway.
Also, in the case of my last post in this thread, the dancer was proactive and spelled out her rules before I could ask. I don't see why asking is solely being discussed as a custie responsibility. There's nothing wrong with the dancer spelling out her rules before getting started.
Again, I now ask before or during. (Otoki gets the credit.) I even re-confirmed with my favs.
MH
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Re: Asking to touch in non-forbidden areas?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Mr. Happy
No problem, S123... The answer lies within my 1/8 post. I now always ask even once the dance is underway.
Also, in the case of my last post in this thread, the dancer was proactive and spelled out her rules before I could ask. I don't see why asking is solely being discussed as a custie responsibility. There's nothing wrong with the dancer spelling out her rules before getting started.
Again, I now ask before or during. (Otoki gets the credit.) I even re-confirmed with my favs.
MH
Setting the boundaries is something that I only do if I get a "touchy" vibe from a guy. For the most part, the customers who come into my club know the rules and don't need to be told. So while I could give every guy the "no touching" speech, it can be a mood killer for a customer who is already well-behaved. Thus, I only break it out if I feel like the customer needs to be told, or if they try to touch.
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Re: Asking to touch in non-forbidden areas?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Otoki
Mr. Happy, here's my main issue, which I have finally figured out how to put in words:
If you didn't get rules first, ask VERBALLY. I don't like guys touching me at all during dances. Every time a guy does that it makes me extremely tense and wary, and my dances become more cautious (ie I can see your hands at all times, I avoid positions in which my body is close to your hands/face, etc). If you ask verbally, you avoid violating the dancer's boundaries. Can you consider how harassed dancers like me would feel if guys tried to touch us all the time instead of just asking about the rules?
I tried a different club on Thursday night, and because it was a new club to me, I thought back to this post and did exactly as you suggested, Otoki. None of the three dancers did tell me her rules (unlike in other clubs), but each just hinted that I should just enjoy myself, and if I do anything that makes her uncomfortable, that she'll let me know. That seemed to work well in that club.
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Re: Asking to touch in non-forbidden areas?
^^I'm glad that you did that:)
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Re: Asking to touch in non-forbidden areas?
I'm a fetish guy and only like to touch and massage legs if the girl is wearing sheer stockings. I give great leg massages.
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Re: Asking to touch in non-forbidden areas?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Mr. Happy
No problem M_O_P. Thanks.
I was at a club last weekend and thought you and Otoki would enjoy this story. I was in a nude club and took a lovely lady up on a dance. We went back to the dance area and before I even sat down she said: "Here's my rules: You can touch anywhere but my cookie, and touch no part of my body with your mouth. If you do, I'll rip your balls off." I laughed and said "Could you please be more specific?" She laughed and gave me a great dance. After I recovered from the image of my detached balls flying through the air, I enjoyed the dance. I was a good Mr. Happy. :)
Mr. Happy, you have made me very happy with your story! I am going to have to remember that the next time someone asks for my rules! With that said I will actually contribute toward this thread. ;D
I dance in North Florida and we do have full friction dances. I have no problem with gentlemen asking if they can touch a non-forbidden area. I love having my feet massaged and my hair played with, however I have had bad and funny experiences too. The bad ones are the surprise toe suckers and severe hair pullers. I don't like to be mouthed in any sort of the fashion. Especially, my nipples and neck. I remember there was a time I covered my nipples in that No-Bite stuff for your finger nails! I also dislike when my neck and face are touched. To me it is too intimate and breaks the illusion of strip-club magic.
The funniest thing I had happen, in relation to non-forbidden areas, was with a gentleman I did a double dance for. My best friend and I were both dancing for him, when he grabbed her foot and stuck most of her toes in his mouth. I thought she was going to puke. I ended up prying his foot from her mouth and made funny faces at her to make her not cry. We finished the dance without further incident and he asked for another. We both excused ourselves with me promising to return. We walked in the bathroom where I promptly took my shoes off and dipped them in the toilet, to my friend's horror. In reply to her horrified look. I told her I was about to do the grossest and funniest thing ever, as pay back. I walked around on the bathroom floor, before drying my feet off and re-emerging in the VIP. We continued the lap dance with my friend and the management and bouncers (whom had been informed of the cleanliness of my feet) staring in horror as I let this guy lick and suck my toes. It was the grossest and funniest thing I have ever done and I had to share. You might never know what a pissed off stripper will do. Most will just rip your balls of, the rest will plot against you. ;) :seesaw:
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Re: Asking to touch in non-forbidden areas?
evie kitty, you are an evil genius.
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Re: Asking to touch in non-forbidden areas?
Evie Kitty,
OMG that's nast. Good for you girl! ROFLMAO! And to think he never knew until maybe he was treating his mouth for funky fungus! :P :) Glad I made you happy... among my goals in life: spread happiness because smiles are contagious. What an awesome story!
MH
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Re: Asking to touch in non-forbidden areas?
evie kitty, you are awesome.
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Re: Asking to touch in non-forbidden areas?
Hehe, I am glad everyone enjoyed my story. I actually ran into the same customer a few months after the "incident." I didn't remember him, but my best friend did. She poked me hard in the ribs and giggled "it's him" and made a nasty face. I guess I looked confused because she lifted her foot up and wiggled her toes. I swear you could have seen the the shock hit my eyes. She was laughing so hard and the bouncers and managers teased me the whole night, wondering if I was going to give him another "special" dance. I really think it was one of those "in the moment" things.
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Re: Asking to touch in non-forbidden areas?
I keep the clubs I run strictly non-contact. It prevents any possible harm or questionable actions by either the dancer or the client.
While it's not the most enjoyable experience for the client, I try to provide a safe work environment for my girls and make sure they're respected.
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Re: Asking to touch in non-forbidden areas?
I worked in one club where a little old man was just fascinated with hair... I used to have really long black straight hair so he loved caressing it.. ever so gently. I generally don't like strangers touching my hair because of the hygiene issue, and my hair gets oily really easily so I always avoid touching it. but I pretty much wash my hair everyday(esp after work cuz it smells like smoke) so I didn't mind letting him run his fingers through my hair for money. :)
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Re: Asking to touch in non-forbidden areas?
I've had guys just start giving me foot rubs out of the blue and be very aggressive about it. Usually though if a guy asks *shrug* at least he was polite enough to ask first.
Personally I can understand the "please don't tough my hair" thing. I have to get on my BF's case about it sometimes, too. My hair is really long, and though pretty, it tangles when I breathe so even just running your fingers through it can be uncomfortable, esp if if I've been dancing all night.
I second Judashearts. Thank you for being considerate enough to ask rather than just assuming that because these places are not on the forbidden list it makes them fair game.
~K
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Re: Asking to touch in non-forbidden areas?
Depending on the club, I'd ask first before you touch. One contact club you could touch her everywhere except 2 areas. Now and then you may get a dancer that doesn't want her breasts touched either. I remember one newbie dancer started freaking out when I cupped her breasts. She forgot to tell me she doesn't allow touching of her breasts and she was the first dancer at that club I had that didn't allowed that. So I gave an extra $20 and apologized. She felt better and even apologized to me about freaking out. Didn't get another dance with her though, was no way I could have a dance with her and not touch her breasts, they were gorgeous.