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New Element Found By Non-Gov't Contract
Lawrence Liverless Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. They turned down a Govt contract to suppress their findings. The funding agency was not revealed.
The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Governmentium has no charge (electrons or protons), it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a millisecond, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of morons promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass. A method for determining this critical morass in presently undiscovered.
When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
Research continues.
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Re: New Element Found By Non-Gov't Contract
Technically isn't it possible to create an infinite number of elements, but for most, the half-lives are too short (and the cores too unstable) for them to be so classified?
And I know it's childish, but I laughed at the word 'morons.' Hehe.
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Re: New Element Found By Non-Gov't Contract
Good one threlayer! Thanks for the chuckle.;D
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Re: New Element Found By Non-Gov't Contract
^^^ and it's not going to be difficult to separate the 'morons' from the 'peons', as states with extraordinarily large deposits of local Governmentium continue to repel 'peons' and attract 'morons' !!!
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Re: New Element Found By Non-Gov't Contract
I think Governmentium cannot be found naturally. With that much atomic weight, it would have to be created from some other element, say platitudnium by bombardment with neutrons. I just don't know how it loses its electrons, probably some long drawn-out elective process.
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Re: New Element Found By Non-Gov't Contract
^^^ actually it's much simpler than that. Once Governmentium reaches 'critical morass', it begins to absorb large amounts of energy from surrounding 'peons' and reradiate that energy to surrounding 'morons'. This in turn causes the 'morons' to be ever more closely attracted to the central mass of Governmentium ... while increasing 'weak force' repulsion of 'peons'. Deposits of Governmentium which have achieved 'critical morass' can be found in New York and California and most of Western Europe
However, if this reaction is allowed to continue unabated, eventually the Governmentium nucleus plus the surrounding cloud of 'morons' exert such a strong absorption force on nearby 'peons' that a 'Black Hole of Big Governmentium' is established ... at which point the repulsion forces of the surrounding 'peons' are no longer sufficiently strong to allow them to escape. At this point, the 'peons' and 'morons' wind up being forcibly merged into a cloud where any distinction between the two ceases to exist, and where both are totally dominated by the strong forces exerted by the nucleus of Governmentium. Deposits of Governmentium which have achieved 'Black Hole of Big Governmentum' status can be found in selected parts of South America, Africa, China ... with fragmented concentrations in Russia and arguably in some isolated pockets of Washington DC.
Of course some rogue researchers of Governmentum have developed a theory that large quantities of gold can negate the strong absorption forces that Governmentium is attempting to exert ... with the theory being that gold provides some sort of shielding to the particles it surrounds such that ordinary forces of Governmentium no longer apply. Thus those who are shielded by adequately large gold deposits can still move freely around the universe without really being affected by Governmentum and never wind up actually being 'trapped' in the cloud of Governmentium.
~
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Re: New Element Found By Non-Gov't Contract
Oh my god. I am retarded.
Didn't read the OP closely and I totally thought this was a serious post.
Wow. I'll chalk my temporary insanity up to it being finals week.
::hangs head::
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Re: New Element Found By Non-Gov't Contract
LOL charlie I thought you were giving us some dead pan humor :)
FBR
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Re: New Element Found By Non-Gov't Contract
Quote:
Originally Posted by
FBR
LOL charlie I thought you were giving us some dead pan humor :)
FBR
No that was definitely just pure retardation.
Wow. Hahaha ;D I guess we brunettes have our moments too.
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Re: New Element Found By Non-Gov't Contract
^^ Ha I thought it was cute.
When you are young it is school pressure...when you are old like me it is a brain fart LOL
FBR
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Re: New Element Found By Non-Gov't Contract
^^ Hahaha right? ::slams head into wall repeatedly::
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Re: New Element Found By Non-Gov't Contract
Quote:
Originally Posted by
charlie61
^^ Hahaha right? ::slams head into wall repeatedly::
Don't put a knot on your forehead. Just an oopsie. It was cute. Carry on Miss Charlie ;D
FBR
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Re: New Element Found By Non-Gov't Contract
Hahaha indeed!! Back to my facade of a humorless academic...
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Re: New Element Found By Non-Gov't Contract
Quote:
Originally Posted by
charlie61
Hahaha indeed!! Back to my facade of a humorless academic...
Actually this post shouts out that you are not humorless. Plus you have a great ass and beautiful hair so quit whining }:D
FBR
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Re: New Element Found By Non-Gov't Contract
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Re: New Element Found By Non-Gov't Contract
Yes, that was a good finding, Mel. Even a little humorous too.
I believe further research of Governmentium should be carried out near Fort Knox KY, in case the nuclear reaction gets out of hand.
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Re: New Element Found By Non-Gov't Contract
I'm still trying to get a handle on Govematics; the math system used by the Federal Government. Both Congress and the Executive Branches use this system. It's postulates include : " Programs are only created and grow; they never shrink or get eliminated. Reductions in increases from year to year are "cuts" in spending i.e. "if we say it's a decrease in spending; it is. " How about " a loan by any other name is NOT a loan " ? Repayment is just an "aspirational goal" not a hard and fast requirement. And of course, my favorite is the suspension of basic laws of demographics and mortality with regard to Social Security and Medicare.
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Re: New Element Found By Non-Gov't Contract
I have a 4MB .wmv file that explains math completely. But I can't upload it here. I believe (unlerss I yEnc or UUencode it probably as multi-parts).
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Re: New Element Found By Non-Gov't Contract
Actually I've tried to stop thinking about the economy at all.
I was so deep into it, and have come to the conclusion that we are all perma-fucked. Even people like me who made all the right decisions, saved instead of run up huge debt, etc, etc.
Once the unemployment level reaches a point where 1:10 minimum credit card payments aren't being made the living hand to mouth banks will collapse and the insurance companies that insured the debt right after them.
The entire world-wide financial superstructure will implode like one of those 15 story tear downs with controlled explosives you see on the evening news. Big whole in the ground were our money use to live. With staggering inflation levels what money that is left won't be worth much.
I'm changing most of what I have other than what I need on hand into gold and getting ready to move to an ex-pat community in the third world. They'll be effected to, but as the Third World economy in some countries isn't as dependent on the world's banks, or the exchange of financial instruments to make money, the impact will be less than in the First World.
Honduras or Ecuador here I come [they have strip-clubs down there don't they? :) ].
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Re: New Element Found By Non-Gov't Contract
^^^ check out Belize ... they speak English ! And they don't tax earnings derived from sources outside of Belize.
Quote:
I was so deep into it, and have come to the conclusion that we are all perma-fucked. Even people like me who made all the right decisions, saved instead of run up huge debt, etc, etc.
actually it will be the financially responsible 'savers' who will take the worst f#@king. Only two types of people actually HAVE assets / money to fund bailouts, government make-work programs, social welfare benefits etc. - middle class savers and the very rich. But the very rich have an array of opportunities open to them to shield their assets / earnings from confiscatory US tax rates that middle class 'savers' can't afford.
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Re: New Element Found By Non-Gov't Contract
^^ Because it's always us that the big speculators take advantage of. We are their sheep.
The difference between investors and speculators is: the result of investing is that something is actually produced out of it, while with speculating only money changes hands and it is a zero-sum game.
For example, take real estate: investors would buy a piece of property, upgrade it and sell for profit; speculators would buy and hold for a short time (flip), expecting profit if they can find buyers who don't know as much. In general investors do better over time, but they may have to wait longer for their rewards.
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Re: New Element Found By Non-Gov't Contract
Quote:
Originally Posted by
threlayer
^^ Because it's always us that the big speculators take advantage of. We are their sheep.
The difference between investors and speculators is: the result of investing is that something is actually produced out of it, while with speculating only money changes hands and it is a zero-sum game.
For example, take real estate: investors would buy a piece of property, upgrade it and sell for profit; speculators would buy and hold for a short time (flip), expecting profit if they can find buyers who don't know as much. In general investors do better over time, but they may have to wait longer for their rewards.
Why were people incentivized to do that ? Loose money from the Fed. Lax lending by the banks. Tax policy.
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Re: New Element Found By Non-Gov't Contract
Maybe so. Plus the enabled exploitation and the demoralization of society in general.