Dating my manager & feel awkward dancing- WTF?!
After months of sexual tension, I finally broke down and hooked up with my manager. It was great! So now we are at the stage of getting a bit more serious - I guess you can call me his girlfriend.
The problem now, I feel weird dancing for other guys when I know he is around. Am I crazy? I just can't flirt in front of him.
He says there isn't anything to worry about and that he is cool with everything. Everyone at work kindda knows that we are a thing but it isn't anything we are advertising. Should I go to another club or get over my issue?
Thanks ladies! :)
Re: Dating my manager & feel awkward dancing- WTF?!
Go to another club. This has disaster written all over it.
Re: Dating my manager & feel awkward dancing- WTF?!
^ I agree. If you can't flirt and dance for other guys in front of him then you can't do your job.
Re: Dating my manager & feel awkward dancing- WTF?!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
mediocrity
Go to another club. This has disaster written all over it.
Oh, ya, I agree! At the very least it is gonna hurt your money.
Re: Dating my manager & feel awkward dancing- WTF?!
I like the club I am working at now and really don't want to have to change. I have already changed my schedule so we don't work the same times. Trying to avoid the disaster early.
But I still have the same problem, if he is around I just feel awkward. Have any of you felt weird when your boyfriend/significant other came to your work and watched?
Re: Dating my manager & feel awkward dancing- WTF?!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
CosmicCandy
I like the club I am working at now and really don't want to have to change. I have already changed my schedule so we don't work the same times. Trying to avoid the disaster early.
But I still have the same problem, if he is around I just feel awkward. Have any of you felt weird when your boyfriend/significant other came to your work and watched?
If you don't want to change clubs then why'd you list it as an option? If you don't work at the same times, then how is he seeing you?
And hell yes I'd feel weird. That is primarily why most clubs (and I am assuming yours has this rule too) have a no boyfriends and husbands rule.
Re: Dating my manager & feel awkward dancing- WTF?!
I havent been in a relationship since i started dancing, but i feel wierd flirting wiht other guys if ppl i know from OTC are in and are within earshot. Usually that doesnt happen, but i had a couple of friends come down one day and I took care when i was working to work the other side of the room.
Our club has a strict no boyfriend rule, which I think is a good idea. Even if your boyfriend is totally cool with it (which i am assuming he is since hes manager) having them around removes you from fantasy mode and would make your job harder. I hope that your relationship with your manager is a bit more stable than any of the ones i encountered, whenever ive seen a staff- dancer relationship it has been negative. Some girls seem to do it to try to get special treatment (which from the sound of your post is not the case) and some management will try to take advantage of the dancers. Another reason to be careful, is if your club is catty and someone finds out, even if your manager isnt there on your shifts drama can happen. For instance, the girls could start a rumor of you being an extras girl or something to that effect which could drive a wedge in your relationship. My suggestion would be find a new club or end the relationship. Whatever you do, best of luck!
Re: Dating my manager & feel awkward dancing- WTF?!
He winds up seeing me when there is a changing of the management shifts going on. He is there about 2 hours into the night shift.
I don't want to have to change clubs but I am not ruling that out as an option if say he winds up working the night shift, other girls, drama gets out of hand..... But for now none of that is happening and all that is going on is the awkward feeling - on my part.
I guess I just don't understand how he is able to just be "whatever" and I feel weird. He tells me I shouldn't feel awkward, just do my job like I normally would but in the back of my head I can't.
Re: Dating my manager & feel awkward dancing- WTF?!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
CosmicCandy
He winds up seeing me when there is a changing of the management shifts going on. He is there about 2 hours into the night shift.
I don't want to have to change clubs but I am not ruling that out as an option if say he winds up working the night shift, other girls, drama gets out of hand..... But for now none of that is happening and all that is going on is the awkward feeling - on my part.
I guess I just don't understand how he is able to just be "whatever" and I feel weird. He tells me I shouldn't feel awkward, just do my job like I normally would but in the back of my head I can't.
Re-read what you just wrote. His presence - not only ITC, but in your life - prevents you from doing your job. In other words, you can no longer make money working at that club. If you have changed your shifts and that isn't working for you either, than it is time to move on in one way or another. You asked us for advice but don't like the advice you're being given. It seems to me that you already knew this was what you were going to hear even though you were hoping for something else.
Re: Dating my manager & feel awkward dancing- WTF?!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
bigbangburrito
Most of the cases I've seen like yours happens this way: He will say he's alright with you dancing. Later on, he will tell you to not take your panties off on stage. Then he'll tell you not to let guys touch you while dancing. Then he'll tell you to quit and he will pay all your bills. Next thing you know, you have stopped dancing and he is not taking care of you. Then you find out while you are home doing his laundry he is at the club doing the latest dancer.
That is EXACTLY what happened to my best friend which is why I think that dating management is a no-no.
Re: Dating my manager & feel awkward dancing- WTF?!
....and this is why you don't shit where you eat.
Re: Dating my manager & feel awkward dancing- WTF?!
i think the best choice would be to just end things.
the second best choice would be to find another club. are you in an area where there are other clubs you'd like to work at, or are you staying at this one because the rest all suck?
Re: Dating my manager & feel awkward dancing- WTF?!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Lucky13
That is EXACTLY what happened to my best friend which is why I think that dating management is a no-no.
That happened to a friend as well. I've either seen that situation or the situation where the manager gets bored, dumps the dancer, and she either gets fired or it's an awkward situation at work. No thanks. I've never dated a manager at work, and always advise other dancers never to do it.
Re: Dating my manager & feel awkward dancing- WTF?!
Are there not enough men around where you live or something? What's with the trend of dating staff????
Re: Dating my manager & feel awkward dancing- WTF?!
Personally I think you should stay at your club. He knows what you do for a living and what is involved.
Girls need to stop dropping everything for men we are just loosely dating.
Unless things get serious how come he can't go to a new club?
Re: Dating my manager & feel awkward dancing- WTF?!
I would love to date someone in the industry who knows what it's all about, and knows better than to get jealous! Honestly, I think you should give him a chance. It sounds like he might really be a good partner- someone who understands your job and won't give you shit for it. So, all you really have to get over is your issue. If he says it doesn't bother him, just trust him on it and get on with your work. Afterall, if it turns out he's not cool with it, it'll become apparent soon enough anyway. But if he is, it's worth checking out.
Re: Dating my manager & feel awkward dancing- WTF?!
While it is nice that you probably feel you're dating a nice guy that you like,a manager/dancer relationship rarely ends well.I've personally seen HUGE problems arise from these situations and a lot of people get hurt.Please be careful in your decisions.
Re: Dating my manager & feel awkward dancing- WTF?!
Re: Dating my manager & feel awkward dancing- WTF?!
Yeah I went through this the very first year I danced and trust me huni you are better off going to another club. This is a huge mess of drama waiting to happen. Just move on. I've known many managers that dated or slept with the dancers they worked with and it never worked out. The drama it caused was rediculous and the aftermath never stopped.
Re: Dating my manager & feel awkward dancing- WTF?!
So far there isn't any drama and we see each other passing by for maybe 2 hours a night. We have been really good friends for 2 years so us dating is just a natural progression. We both haven't changed how we interact with other staff and since we were such good friends, no one really has noticed that we have hooked up or anything.
He doesn't stare at me when I am on stage or watch me while giving a dance. He actually wants me to get over my awkwardness. I just feel weird flirting/dancing for other guys during those 2 hours. Only during those hours do I have any awkward feelings. Have any of you felt awkward dancing for guys when your s.o came into the club? How did you girls get over dancing in front of your significant other?
Re: Dating my manager & feel awkward dancing- WTF?!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
CosmicCandy
Have any of you felt awkward dancing for guys when your s.o came into the club? How did you girls get over dancing in front of your significant other?
I've never dated a co-worker,my husband has come in and seen me dance a few times. But we are swingers with no jealousy issues so it doesnt ever bother either of us. He thinks its funny to watch me hustle the guys and I think its funny to watch him GET hustled!
BUT..we have a unique relationship and not everybody can handle that. I'd say try to keep working opposite shifts and see how it goes.
I agree with those that say dont date co-workers,but since you already are,this is what I'd do