Okay this is supposed to be a humorous post...
What is the worst/funniest circumstance youve worked in?
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Okay this is supposed to be a humorous post...
What is the worst/funniest circumstance youve worked in?
When I started out, I used to sweat a lot out of nervousness. At the time, I was wearing my hair fluorescent manic-panic orange that glowed under blacklight. Every time I would dance (or even talk to a customer!) streaks of day-glo sweat would start pouring down my face, dripping onto my body. It didn't help that I liked to wear white back then, too . . .
The first time I EVER went on stage, I recall quite vividly a man walking up to the tip rail with his eyes averted. He lay down a stack of ten singles, and walked away shaking his head. I GOT THE PITY VOTE!!! How embarrassing!
But wait, it gets worse. On my second stage in that first rotation, I started my period in the white panties.
I'm surprised I came back the next night . . . but here I am, three years later!
I went on stage wearing a long wig. I was doing floor work and tossed my head with a little too much oomph. The hair whipped around sticking in my lipgloss and sending one barely attached eyelash way north on my face. I pulled the hair outta my gloss and ended up with a big streak of purple across my cheek and one full lash stuck on my forehead.
Different night I was wearing hard contacts and while on stage got a tiny piece of glitter stuck in my eye. It felt like an ice pick! My eye immediately went bloodshot and tears were pouring down my face. My lashes came loose and stuck to my cheeks and I had makeup running everywhere. I couldn't open my eye cause it hurt sooooo bad. Somehow I stumbled to the DR removed my contact and cleaned up. When I went back on the floor and started making my rounds one guy bought a dance out of pity.
During her first week one of my friends tripped in her shoes and pulled another girl's bottom off on the way down. Luckily, she had a sense of humor...
Once, my fake ponytail went flying off while I was pole dancing. I just grinned and ran my hands through my suddenly-short hair and tried to play it off like it was part of the routine. You know, sexily take off bikini top, sexily take off booty shorts, sexily take off fake ponytail.
I'm not sure if this actually fooled anybody into thinking it was deliberate, but I didn't see any other way to deal with it. Also, for the rest of my set, I had to step around the fake ponytail, which was laying there like some kind of shaggy dead animal.
This didn't happen to me, but to another dancer at my job that everyone absolutely hates. She was onstage once about a year ago, and she started her period right at the beginning of the first song. Like dripping down her leg. And she noticed, and does this whole "*giggle* oops!" thing...AND KEPT DANCING. It's dripping all over the stage. And she's getting on the tip rail in front of guys and spreading her legs in their face, so it's like blood-soaked vag two inches away from them. And this was on a Monday, and it was dead, there were only like three guys in there. So she certainly could have cut the set short and gone to clean up. But she didn't. And when she was finished with her set, she skips off and leaves all these blood splatters all over the stage. It was surreal.
^^ wow... that is.... god awful
A few weeks ago I got really sick. The beginning of the week wehn i went in I thought it was just allergies. However, when i sat down to talk to the first customer of the night.. i was flirting and what not and suddenly i really had to cough. I didnt want to hack a lung up in front of the customer, so i tried to repress it and then my eyes started watering and i couldnt speak so i literally ran away into the dressing room and coughed my lungs out. The customer wasnt to pleased that i just peaced out, needless to say. I think asked the manager if i could go home because i didnt want to cough on everyone (at this point i was clearly not in good shape). He told me to ask the house mom for a mint. So yea...i spent the rest of that night telling customers I had severe asthma and trying to avoid speaking.
Another time i leaned back during a pole trick and i guess i used muscles in my neck because it snapped my new fancy rhinestone choker right off. I wasnt too happy about that.
One of the worst was i went on a late night hike with my friend after work one night through industrial cleveland wasteland area. We were climbing over this large hill of crumpled asphalt and i mis-stepped and my thigh landed on a piece of asphalt that was pointing up. It left this god awful bruise larger than my hand that started out dark blue then turned dark purple and dark red and was too large to hide under my money and too dark to cover with makeup. At the time i was in a dive where most of the people who came in were used to violence so i got asked "why you lettin yo man beat on you" for about 2 weeks until it healed.
Sometimes I wear clip-in extensions and usually the only problem is that they slip an inch or so over the night. During my audition at a new club, though, one track got caught in my top as I was taking it off and came out entirely! I pi8cked it up and went around the stage telling everyone that my pet fluffy loves to eat money.
When I first started dancing when I was 19 my son was a baby and I was in college full time. I only had 2 days I could work. Tuesday and Friday... dayshift. I had to get 2 of my wisdom teeth pulled after breaking one... I got it done at 10am on a Fri morning and was at work and on the floor by 12pm and worked my regularly sched shift (12-7pm)
I look back at it and I'm like, seriously? Did I need $ that bad? LOL. I made like $100... I def couldnt talk without sounding like I was seriously drunk or special needs.
One girl I worked with had this ratty old wig she wore every night. It finnally came off when she was onstage one night, and immediatly the manager grabbed a broom started beatting the fallen wig like it was an animal he was trying to kill. It was funny as anything, but customers spent the rest of the night asking me if I was wearing a wig too.
These are so funny!
mine: Like 3 years ago when we had the two hurricanes in a row, there was no power anywhere down here for like 3 weeks, my club's owner however bless his heart had gotten a generator. Not everything at the club was up, the ice was in bags and the guns at the bar and tv's weren't hooked up so the soda was from 2 liters (ghetto-fab!) The AC wasn't on either so we had like 3 industrial fans and all the doors open. My friends and I lived at the club though! We had to take cold showers to get ready for work. We were there like 45 minutes before it opened for a week straight! then we had to leave at like midnight (because of curfew by the city) and drive home w/ no streetlights on. We dubbed my truck the Stripper caravan.
the worst thing I've seen happen toanyone else- I was at a full nude club in MA and this girl came in for ama. night. Obviously she had never danced before and didn't know that if you're on your period to cut or tuck your string, so when she took her g-string off- the tampon string had somehow become entangled ( I dunno how because that would never happen with regular panties) and the tampon came out of her all bloody. It was so gross and soo embarassing!
these are so funny! i have laughed at every single one....
UGH. Similar story from me - I worked at the dive club of dive clubs here in town - like, where the reject strippers go to lose the rest of their dignity when they're WAAAAAAAAY past their prime. (not even joking) Don't ask me HOW I thought it was a good idea to work there.
It was a full-nude club, and this girl went on stage, got naked, laid on her back with her legs spread RIGHT in front of a customer. Her tampon string was hanging out - and her tampon had leaked so it was all bloody. *shudder* She proceeded to PLAY WITH HER STRING in front of the customer, get her fingers bloody - and I shit you not - LICK THEM OFF.
I almost barfed. The worst part? The guy bought a dance from her. OMG. :boggled:
^^^^that is revolting. Some people are so wrong.
eeww!
ugh. i hate to think i share 99.99 percent of my DNA with these people....
I used to wear a long curly auburn wig. Made me look completely different (which was the point). But we all know wigs get matted and sweaty...
One night I was talking to a lovely lesbian custie that wouldn't stop going on about me being her ideal women (lots of mention of my lovely long hair *cough*) and was getting strings of dances. Near the end of the night I was disgusting, sweat rolling down my forehead and back from the wig, but I kept at it.
Turning my back to her and smiling I did a light grind on her lap then slowly slid down to the floor. Mid way she went to run her fingers through my hair only to get it STUCK in the disgusting sweaty matted mess of a wig and rip it right off my head! She looked horrified, don;t think she registered it was a wig at first.
I would like to say I ran to the DR in shame, but no I stood there for 10 mins with hair stuck to my head and kirby grips everywhere helping her to detach the ratty thing from her hands.
Probably the strangest thing that's happened so far was being bent over on stage jiggling my ass around and having a guy reach between my spread legs to offer me his card and ask me if I'd like my car detailed for fifty dollars.
Dancing really sexy for the one guy at stage, making intense eye contact, thinking he's really into it. At the end he's beckons me, so I lean down ( thinking he's def. gonna want a dance of course) to hear him inform me of the toilet paper stuck to my pussy. This was real early in my career, and ever since then I've been extremely paranoid about checking and baby wiping after I pee.
My club has a pretty big stage, so I normally don't worry about swinging out too far as I do pole tricks...but this time another dancer (whom I had just met and kind of hit it off with) put a dollar in her mouth and sat on the tip rail so that she could lay back on the stage to give it to me. I didn't see her and as she was leaning back I was kicking off into a spin and nailed her right in the head. Hard.
She insisted she was alright, so I bought her a drink afterwards...only to accidently trip her later that night as she came bolting around the corner. We haven't really talked much since...
I've always done private parties along with club dancing so a few years ago I get asked to do a surprise stripper gram early in the morning for a radio show host.... No problem. I get their at like 5am, tired as shit to meet up with the guys. Lucky me, They rented a giant dog costume for me to "strip" out of. I'm talking huge head and everything. The joke was that the radio host promotes dog rescue etc.
So here I am, 5am, in lingerie and a dog costume totally sober.... So no one at the station knows the joke and I look like a total fucking weirdo walking around then stripping out of this dog costume and no one seems to get it but the guys that set it up. It was really funny to look back on but very uncomfortable at the time.
I got a call this week.... a guy wanted me to dress up like a bag lady and act all irate at their friends 60th b-day party at Applebee's! (all old redneck bus drivers). There is not enough money in the world for that one. LOL
when i first started danceing i was in a small dive bar and was drunk and hungry so of course when my food gets there i get called to stage so i took my chickenwings up there and ate and danced what can u say strippers got to eat too
I was extremely late for work one night and in my frantic rush, I fell on the concrete and cut my knee up pretty badly. The moment I got there my manager insisted that I go onstage even though my knee was still bleeding heavily. I had to stand up there for fifteen minutes with a thick line of blood running down the length of my shin and pooling inside my shoe. Very sexy.
^^ Oooh, that sucks. I once cut my knee on stage (nail was poking up on the tip rail), and didn't even notice until a customer pointed it out (adrenaline much??). I looked down and there was blood eeeeverywhere. HOT.