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You know your working in a dive if.......
Ive worked in a lot of dives some i loved and some are just bad but i thought this would be a fun thread ill start
you know working in a dive if...
There are huge punch holes all threw the dressing room.
you call the owner mamma (i love these women ussaly but it is a sign of a dive to me)
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Re: You know your working in a dive if.......
Girls squat over sink to shave pussy/ sponge bathe themselves.
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Re: You know your working in a dive if.......
The floor sticks to your shoes when you walk, and you can see daylight when you look through the walls or floor.
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Re: You know your working in a dive if.......
The "dj" is a jukebox
When the club pushes drinks more than dances
When the manager is also the bartender, bouncer, and bar back
The dressing room has rats
You're the hottest dancer there because all the others are obese or drunk
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Re: You know your working in a dive if.......
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Re: You know your working in a dive if.......
You are sitting at the bar and a customer approaches the very busy bartender for ones for the stage.
You see the bartender is super busy and say to the guy " I have change in my purse, do you have a 10 or 20 ? " ....... and he goes ..... " oh...um... it's a $5 ". I just assumed it was a 10 or 20 - oops !
So ..... you change out his $5 and watch him set one $1 bill next to each girl on her 2nd song and he leaves . What a frugal ( but kind ) customer. Every girl on stage got a dollar from him and he left after 5 girls.
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Re: You know your working in a dive if.......
...when you're dancing beside a pile of ladders and stools in the couch room.
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You have to go to the shed out back to do a lap dance.
No lie, actually did that!
After I left they got an old school bus and converted it to a lap dance "room".
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When the chairs are school desks....there was actually a club here that had school desks for the customers. lmao
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When the fancy decorations in the place is a string of X-mas lights that stay up all year
When dances are 3 min long,not per song,and you keep time by setting an egg timer
When girls go on stage in cut offs,wife beaters and flip flops
When there is specific parking for 18 wheelers
When everyone thinks you are elegant because you have all your own teeth
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It's the biggest news of the day when the lights all work in the dressing room
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Re: You know your working in a dive if.......
If the name of the strip club is "The Outhouse". (I actually worked at a place that had this name.)
When the bathroom has a sink that when you turn it on, it sprays you in the face with water.
When you get old duct tape glue on your legs while giving lapdances because the couches you give them on are so busted up that duct tape is pretty much the only thing holding the stuffing in.
When all of your customers wear coveralls and order PBR (which the bar serves for $1.25 a can).
When the place is BYOB.
When you work with girls that have bullet hole scars and knife wounds.
When half of the employees are pregnant AND STILL DANCING.
When most of the girls are related to each other (i.e. cousins, sisters, ect).
When you have to drive down a gravel road for 15 miles to get to the club and the parking lot is a cornfield.
I could go on. I love working dives, although I am over the shit money nowadays.
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Re: You know your working in a dive if.......
The girls you work with BRAG about how this club is the 'last club they can work in' in your ENTIRE town because they got kicked out of all the other ones for fighting, prostitution, drugs, etc...
The DJ, Bouncer, manager, bar tender, and "house mom" is ALL THE SAME GUY...
The "DJ" only has one CD with shitty music (ever tried to be sexy to the song "Every Rose Has It's Thorn? :O) that loops all 24 hours the club is open, and it's the same CD he's been playing for FIVE YEARS...
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Re: You know your working in a dive if.......
when your champaigne room is what used to be a storage closet... and no bigger then a phone booth
you give lap dances right at the bar simply because there is no other place to do so
your used to seeing roaches as big as damn chihuahas
theres one toilet the girls share with the customers that has no lock on the door so its natural to walk in while someone is peeing
the place is so damn dark u have to let your eyes adjust for 15 mins before you can even see what the hell is going on
but maybe not being able to see perfectly is a good thing when you have ladies in there literally old enough to be your grandmother
the owner is also the bartender house mom and bouncer love her to death
not only is there a jukebox but an oldschool antique jukebox
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Re: You know your working in a dive if.......
when girls yell at customers for breaking a glass because now they'll cut their feet.
when the center of attention, and reason for stopping in is the pool table.
when the other girls say you banked if you walk out with more than a hundred.
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If the name of the club is BAND AIDS!
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buckets are on the stage to collect the water when it rains
The find couches that are on the side of the road to use in the lap dance room
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When they leave the doors open in summertime because there's no air conditioning.
The owner removed the sink from the dancers' bathroom because they got tired of replacing it every time it broke from girls sitting on it to pee.
When they search every dancer's belongings on entering to check for weapons, drugs, etc.
When the pole onstage is just a homemade one: a 6' pipe stuck out of 2'x2' platform of a stage. Attached to nothing on top, just poking up into the air out of the stage.
If the others girls tell you not to wear white outfits because they'll be filthy by the end of the night....... and they were right.
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I miss my dive! I always thought of it as "Cheers with tits" - not exactly the place out-of-towners were told to go... neighborhood bar that always needed a face lift and slightly more discriminating hiring practices.
Well, until it burned down... jury is still out as to whether or not the owner did it on purpose.
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Re: You know your working in a dive if.......
Quote:
Originally Posted by
MissMynxx
The "DJ" only has one CD with shitty music (ever tried to be sexy to the song "Every Rose Has It's Thorn? :O) that loops all 24 hours the club is open, and it's the same CD he's been playing for FIVE YEARS...
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
You gotta do the Axl Rose shuffle...
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Re: You know your working in a dive if.......
When a guy walks in all 4 dancers are sitting at the bar playing quarters with the one regular that came in.... and no one cares that a new customer just came in...
Yep, seeing sunlight through the cracks in the walls...
The bathroom stalls have plastic shower curtain cut in half for the "doors"
You use your phone for music while killing time at the bar, because no one wants to spend the $2 they have made so far on music from the jukebox..
I could go on and on, I work at a dive now....
But I do love the dives better than the big clubs.....
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Re: You know your working in a dive if.......
lol I love this thread I have experinced so many of the things listed. Ive defintly worked were the was sticky floors lol. I love dives better then big clubs but my current one is a bit scary so ill be off to the bigger places in a month or two after i get back into the swing of things.
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Re: You know your working in a dive if.......
You know it's a dive if when a customer brings in his dogs, and the bartender pours the dogs drinks, too. BTW, the girls love puppies. :)
When a dancer comes in 3 days after having a baby to show off the child to everyone there.
When a dancer's father brings in her work bag, and she asks him if he remembered her new boots that he had bought for her.:O
When country music is the most popular music genre.
When the customers arrive via snowmobile, and so do the dancers.
When drinks consist of wine in a box or cans of beer.
When the dancers are regularly tipped in game meat or freshly caught fish.
When the best selling dance in the place involves putting your buddy on stage for public humiliation and a serious beating by the girls.
When a local lottery winner brings in dom perignon and serves it in paper dixie cups. (Not kidding. That was my first taste of Dom...)
When a customer offers to take the dancers out to a really fancy restaurant...called Red Lobster.
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Re: You know your working in a dive if.......
When the college students refer to it as "study hall" because there could be hours with no custies at all, hence time to study.
When your favorite part of doing a CR or LD is that you'll only be back there for a minute because you know the fucker will do something stupid and you can just walk out.
The girls' BFs are ENCOURAGED to stick around, along with the manager's friend and cousin because there is no security.
And my favorite thing about dives clubs-
The manager doesn't give a shit if you yell at customers because:
1- they already got the bastard's $$
2- they're never coming back anyway
3- half the fuckers probably like it
4- they're all the kinds of bastards noone wants there anyway.
Ahhhh I love my old manager. Even when he was a dick because it was funny and usually was an argument between me, him, and his cousin about why one piece is better than naruto/ what something Jeff Dunham said/ who kicked whose ass when a customer tried physically fighting me in the CR (I totally won that one w/ barely a scratch btw ;))
And I realized... my current club is a dive with just a lot more business and doesn't wanna admit it. It's set up like a redneck bar, stage is super low, all most girls do for their stage set is give lap dances and shove their junk in guys' faces, and I just call the "VIP" section lapdance rooms because it's a small piece of shit stall with a chair.
Oh boy...
When all the other girls discourage you from talking to customers, and only allow you to make tips through grinding their lap because that's what they do.
Thankfully doesn't apply to anywhere I've worked, but...
When you work in Newburgh, New York. They have more clubs than any city around and all of them are shitholes.
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Re: You know your working in a dive if.......
You know you work in a dive when.....
the owners have to move the ATM because the sink in the dressing room is leaking through the floor on to the ATM shorting it out.
the owners remove the sink from the dressing room because girls keep peeing in it instead of walking downstairs to the ladies room.
you have to walk a maze to avoid over 20 holes in the floor under the carpet that will cause you to fall or twist an ankle.
the broken urinals in the men's room are covered with trash bags.