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bitchy agressive dancers vs. nice girl dancers to customers
What's up ladies, its crazy because after 3 years of stripping on and off I would think I would have overcome my shyness. Ive always been the nice girl, the girl that doesnt like to make people feel stupid, or the comforter..ughh I wanna puke on myself. I notice the girls who are more aggressive more bitchy, bring the guy to the private room in a quickness. There is maybe 2 girls at my club that use the "grab and go" technique on a slow night! and works all the time i have no idea what they are saying..i wish i did.. kudos to them. I like when girls make money it's what wer'e all here for. Anyhoo it's not about the looks or body type its the mouth piece. Im a hot lookin latina but, man i need help on being bitchy and agressive (if there are any books,witty quotes) because sweet girls make nada....sometimes. Thanks
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Re: bitchy agressive dancers vs. nice girl dancers to customers
this is exactly my thoughts every time i go to work.
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Re: bitchy agressive dancers vs. nice girl dancers to customers
You don't need to be "bitchy" per se. I know what you're talking about, though. One time I was talking to this guy, who evidently had been talking to the club bitch before, but I hadn't known that. She came back and she interrupted our convo to say to the guy, "We need to go...NOW!!" She said it in her deep, gruffy, pissed off voice. She was saying that they needed to go to a room (VIP). IT WORKED! I've seen other bitchy, smelly from alcohol dancers pull this off, too. I dunno how they do it. Believe me, though, the girls who pulled the guy away looked like the consistently made money in that manner. So yes, while some of you may say that that's not the way to make and keep customers, in some clubs I don't believe that it really matters due to the high percentage of new customers that consistently come into the club...so yes, this method can really work.
On the other side of the spectrum are girls like the OP (or at least how the OP describes herself and what I'm gathering from that description). These girls get GREAT reviews from customers on message boards and through word of mouth. Yet, you'd think that from how much everyone liked them, they'd be busier or something. (Yes, there are some exceptions...the ones who are constantly in VIP/rooms and are getting paid to be nice and talk). However, many of these girls actually (and I could be wrong) are being too nice and sitting forever with a customer because they don't want to be disliked, don't want to feel bad for leaving too soon, don't want to cut the customer off in conversation, etc etc. (I have a whole other thread about these types of dancers). I see them sitting FOREVER with the same person, and I seriously doubt that ALL, if any, are getting paid for this. Though, my club has a 5 drink min rule, so yeah you can get drinks out of people...
Anyways, there is a combination of these two types of dancers. There's one dancer at my work (I hear she's wayy older than she looks - she looks like she's 30, but I heard she's 39 - she's had work done and she's asian so that usually helps) who is like this. I really try to emulate her style as best I can. She's more flirty than I am and she has an asian accent which I think realllly helps. She is VERY sweet to the customers and giggles and laughs alot. The accent makes her sound SO CUTE. She SMILES a lot, too, and makes GREAT EYE CONTACT. However, she doesn't waste time on customers and knows the game. As innocent and cute as she may seem (well, she is really cute), she doesn't mess around. She really pushes for dances and from what I've seen she does very well. She always keeps a POSITIVE ATTITUDE. I've never seen her be bitchy. She does seem fake, but in a real sort of way...if that makes any sense whatsoever :) I think these types of dancers do the best. While some customers will see that they are aggressive and might not "like" them as much as the dancers who bullshit more and waste their time on them, these types of dancers get the job done and don't waste time on broke guys...all with smiles on their faces.
So...bitchy (in the usual sense) and aggressive don't always go together. You can be aggressive, but be a "nice bitch" if that makes sense.
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Re: bitchy agressive dancers vs. nice girl dancers to customers
Im aggressive as hell and I make good money... I don't ask - I tell - but not in a bitchy way - in an "Im in charge here Mr. and you better follow the rules" kinda way. Works well for me. I actually used to be a nice girl but made friends with an aggressive girl (bitchy aggressive tho) and saw how well she did so I changed my hustle.
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Re: bitchy agressive dancers vs. nice girl dancers to customers
There is a HUGE difference between being bitchy and aggressive.
I'm extremely aggressive...but I do it in a way that is fun and bubbly.
Ever hear the saying "Nice guys finish last" It's what whiny dorks say when they can't get chicks to go out with them because they have NO GAME.
The same rules apply to strippers. Men want what they can't have. Some entertainers, in their pursuit of being "nice" are actually projecting the attitude that they are so desperate for a dance and that they will stick around, hanging out with him for free...in hopes that he MIGHT get a dance. And maybe he does buy one or two pity dances...but he's not interested in going to VIP with something that is THAT easy. Just like we aren't interested in the guy who is sitting by the phone just waiting to take us out to a 5 star restaurant at a minute's notice.
I talk about this a lot in DancerWealth. It's called The Friendship Hot Button, and it's a tool that you only want to use AFTER you close the sale. If you use it BEFORE you close the sale...you're going to ruin the sale completely.
Often times, the "nice" dancer will then collect her money for the 1 or 2 pity dances she got from the customer...only to watch him go to VIP with a different entertainer who has an understanding of The Sales Game: she figures out his Personality Type then pushes a different Hot Button. Since the "nice" entertainer warmed him up, he's ready to go!
There is a LOT of psychology involved with this industry. The learning curve is not a fun one either: it took me 4 years of trial and error to figure it out, then another 3 to hone my craft.
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Re: bitchy agressive dancers vs. nice girl dancers to customers
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Originally Posted by
AudreyLeigh
Im aggressive as hell and I make good money... I don't ask - I tell - but not in a bitchy way - in an "Im in charge here Mr. and you better follow the rules" kinda way. Works well for me. I actually used to be a nice girl but made friends with an aggressive girl (bitchy aggressive tho) and saw how well she did so I changed my hustle.
I definitely relate more with being the shy girl, but in the SC you have to be confident and more often than not, the guys don't want to have to be in control. You cannot be demanding or bossy, but you have to be confident and kind of say everything in a "we're going to do this" and "we're going to have fun doing this" kinda way.. They are in control in every aspect of their lives, and they are under a lot of pressure. They come to the SC to escape that and they like letting the pretty girl lead them to a night of fun.
Everything has to be said in a certain way, nothing they can say no to... A good salesperson asks questions in a way the customer has to answer yes to in some way..
You have to be able to read the person and figure out what they want... Some want the sweet shy girl and others want the bitchy girl. It can be tough sometimes.
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Re: bitchy agressive dancers vs. nice girl dancers to customers
I got fed up the other night and just went up to a guy, straddled him, looked him in the eye, didn't even smile and said "Here's the thing, there is a new rule tonight. You don't get a choice. Your going to get a dance with me now,". He went! Everybody I'd flirted with and been semi nice to all night said no and this worked. I've learned to be bitchier when nice just isn't working. I alswo grabbed a guys wallet and beer and took him into the Champagne once and he bought an hour. The last time I worked a guy asked me if I knew why he wa getting dances from me and then told me because all the other girls were rubbing all over him and I just walked up to him and grabbed him by the4 shirt pulled myself up to his ear and said 'Come play with me" and stared him down. Now that I think about it I'm going to be a lot bitchier lol!
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Re: bitchy agressive dancers vs. nice girl dancers to customers
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Originally Posted by
britneyireland
The same rules apply to strippers. Men want what they can't have. Some entertainers, in their pursuit of being "nice" are actually projecting the attitude that they are so desperate for a dance and that they will stick around, hanging out with him for free...in hopes that he MIGHT get a dance. And maybe he does buy one or two pity dances...but he's not interested in going to VIP with something that is THAT easy. Just like we aren't interested in the guy who is sitting by the phone just waiting to take us out to a 5 star restaurant at a minute's notice.
I talk about this a lot in DancerWealth. It's called The Friendship Hot Button, and it's a tool that you only want to use AFTER you close the sale. If you use it BEFORE you close the sale...you're going to ruin the sale completely.
Often times, the "nice" dancer will then collect her money for the 1 or 2 pity dances she got from the customer...only to watch him go to VIP with a different entertainer who has an understanding of The Sales Game
Holy CRAP Britney this is the story of my life at work lately! I can't even tell you how many times a guy will tell me he is out of money, has to go home, etc.....then I see him later on taking another girl to VIP and staying till the bar closes.
This has been happening to me almost every night at work. I have been wondering what's up, and after I read this it just kinda clicked in my mind what's going on with me.
The slightly bitchy, aggressive thing definitely wins at my club, and it's totally not in my nature, I guess I am just too nice....but I really want to learn how to change it, badly. If I am gonna be dancing for much longer I guess it would be a good idea to invest in the DancerWealth. I really want to make the rest of my time there worth it and use this job to get ahead, not just maintain. I can maintain waiting tables......
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Re: bitchy agressive dancers vs. nice girl dancers to customers
Thank you girls sooo much. I haven't been checking replies until now. I'm at work now and I did the tell not ask it worked! Omg like wow. Btw ever read why men love bitches? I was at barnes and picked it up
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Re: bitchy agressive dancers vs. nice girl dancers to customers
Quote:
Originally Posted by
britneyireland
The same rules apply to strippers. Men want what they can't have. Some entertainers, in their pursuit of being "nice" are actually projecting the attitude that they are so desperate for a dance and that they will stick around, hanging out with him for free...in hopes that he MIGHT get a dance. And maybe he does buy one or two pity dances...but he's not interested in going to VIP with something that is THAT easy. Just like we aren't interested in the guy who is sitting by the phone just waiting to take us out to a 5 star restaurant at a minute's notice.
This post is golden. I have issues with being too "nice" and I didn't even realize that it can come off as being desperate. It's sad to think that I've been getting pitty dances LOL!!! Well now I'll be able to catch myself doing this, thanks!
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Re: bitchy agressive dancers vs. nice girl dancers to customers
friday night was soooo slow at the club i was working at, that I got pissed and grabbed some dude and was like, "I'm going to dance for you tonight". I had never said it as a statement before! He was a young guy (strip club "virgin") and he just smiled big and said "oh yeah? OK!" and I said "ok let's go right now" and pulled him into the VIP room. I was so proud that it actually worked, and it made me think of this thread :) Though I think it couldn't work with every guy...
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Re: bitchy agressive dancers vs. nice girl dancers to customers
I'd definitely consider myself nice girl but I'm also very motivated on the floor. Definitely don't lose the niceness and keep in mind, the top girls hear the word 'no' more than anyone else. ;) Just can't ever, ever give up.
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Re: bitchy agressive dancers vs. nice girl dancers to customers
One girl at my club will just drag the guy out of his seat and into the lap dance, vip, or champagne room and he always goes to one and stays for a while. She is always shit face drunk, dresses like the got dressed in the dark and wears no makeup and her hair is a mess. Annother girl will get a guys credit card and charge funny money then fold the reciept when he signs it so he cant see how much he charged and they NEVER ask to see it and she makes thousands a night and is also poorly dressed and sloppy looking. Bouncers are always telling me I should do this but I just can't bring myself too. And the girl with the credit card thing is just a theif and she promises to meet them after. I guess I'm too nice too, but I can be pushy and persuasive at least! :)
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Re: bitchy agressive dancers vs. nice girl dancers to customers
Niceness and friendship are good for maintaining regular customers, but can really slow you down in a high hustle club.
I found that the way to shake off my "niceness" was with humor and honesty. Honesty: yes I am a dancer and I want your money. In fact, on stage, I will dance in front of a guy, pause for a tip and say "give me all your money". It's so ludicrous yet honest that it get's a laugh and a tip. "My money is boring now, I want some of yours" as I take the money his friend just gave me and toss it aside. I tease the guy, never let him forget that I'm a stripper, but always do it with a coy little smile and knowing look like it's a joke we're both in on.
"Dances are a million dollars, it's ok we'll take credit cards, what you don't have a million in your pocket? That's ok, you're cute, dances are only $20 for you today. Oh those rooms are only for Very Important People and I'm not sure you're important enough, I dunno, are you gonna be a lot of fun? What do I do back there? I don't do anything, you're dancing for me tonight" My sales pitch is obvious and outrageous (often times verging on obnoxious) but always tongue in cheek and flirty at the same time. The point is I make them laugh, give them a great dance, and never let them forget that I just want them for their money! lol. Well, at least I wink and smile at them as I tell them that, and it seems to work.
Of course once I HAVE their money I let the "real" me out, the one they've been getting glimpses of the whole time, the nice, silly girl who loves her job and really just wants to have a great sexy time with them.
my 2 cents
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Re: bitchy agressive dancers vs. nice girl dancers to customers
^^omg I've never done that. Do you do really well??
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Re: bitchy agressive dancers vs. nice girl dancers to customers
omg last night i was thinking about this thread on my way to work and decided to try to be aggressive.
I saw a guy with the worst body language possible. I walked up to him convinced to break him down. He hesitated and told me he usually jus comes to the club to "watch".
I am very good at conversation and hook a guy easily, my problem has always been "closing the sale". I always ruined it with "you wanna dance?", or "ready for me?".
The light bulb just clicked and I thought this guy's instincts are to say no, but I KNOW he finds me super attractive, so I have to be assertive for him.
LOL, at the beginning of the song I get up and say in a sultry and assertive tone, "I'm gonna dance for you now.." He took the bait!!
omg I was so happy. I'm not sure this will work with everyone though. But I'm gonna play with it. :boobies:
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Re: bitchy agressive dancers vs. nice girl dancers to customers
Yes, those are some of my verbatim lines, lol, but trust me- it's much cuter in person. I'm never mean or snotty.
Jersey guys seem to like a little sass so it's a very lucrative hustle for me. Plus it's fun! I'm always coming up with new obnoxious things to say to guys....
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Re: bitchy agressive dancers vs. nice girl dancers to customers
I'm a "grab and go" girl and writing about it in my book. :)
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Re: bitchy agressive dancers vs. nice girl dancers to customers
Has anyone ever been rejected with this sassy attitude?
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Re: bitchy agressive dancers vs. nice girl dancers to customers
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Originally Posted by
TrixieFire
Has anyone ever been rejected with this sassy attitude?
Sure. Everyone's going to get rejected sometimes, no matter what persona or hustle they have. But I get a lot less rejection now than I did with being the "sweet/nice girl"! And I'm always in a better mood at the end of the night b/c I don't feel like I've wasted my time listening to a bunch of guys' yammering bullshit for free.
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Re: bitchy agressive dancers vs. nice girl dancers to customers
Bella, that post is gold, gold, gold.
I've often been too nice because I tend to gear myself toward making and keeping regulars. But the humor thing always works for me and with my personality. Thanks for the reminder to really use it to my advantage!
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Re: bitchy agressive dancers vs. nice girl dancers to customers
Quote:
Originally Posted by
bella du jour
Niceness and friendship are good for maintaining regular customers, but can really slow you down in a high hustle club.
"What do I do back there? I don't do anything, you're dancing for me tonight" My sales pitch is obvious and outrageous (often times verging on obnoxious) but always tongue in cheek and flirty at the same time. The point is I make them laugh, give them a great dance, and never let them forget that I just want them for their money! lol. Well, at least I wink and smile at them as I tell them that, and it seems to work.
Of course once I HAVE their money I let the "real" me out, the one they've been getting glimpses of the whole time, the nice, silly girl who loves her job and really just wants to have a great sexy time with them.
my 2 cents
Brilliant!!! I cannot stand the "what do you do in VIP?" question. Great answer sure to make them laugh, make em feel at ease and get their asses in there!
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Re: bitchy agressive dancers vs. nice girl dancers to customers
I'm glad I posted this cuz it's giving everyone insight. I haven't worked in a week .I have to get back on my hustle. Shy girl is coming out again but I gotta keep reminding myself that I'm in control dammit lol