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Dirty Talking
I'm not sure if I've just been quite unlucky or not, but almost every guy I talk to in the club expects extras. Most at least ask. Ranges from if I do extras in the club or, most of them ask if I'd come home with them.
This is REALLY throwing me off and making me self-conscious about talking dirty. I'm finding I'm even trying to get things away from sexy talk just because I'm worried they'll take it the wrong way and think I'll go home with them to do whatever sex thing they asked if I like.
I haven't seen any extras at my club, though I've heard they happen. I get the question (what are you doing after? can you leave now? did you want to go party? did you want to go have sex/fuck? do you want a threesome?) a lot from people not from the city and young guys on drugs.
Is this standard? I've worked 6 nights and only one night I haven't been asked, and every other night I've been asked several times in several manners. It's driving me nuts and I know I'm not being as sexy as I could be during lap dances and the initial conversation with the customer because of it.
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Re: Dirty Talking
i get it on a regular basis. it's part of being a dancer, especially if you're in a club where it is known that extras happen. i just tell them no, and get cutesy with it
them: "will you give me a handjob?"
me: " oh no, baby you wanna get me fired? you're such a bad boy, i may have to punish you!" *wink*
or i handle grabby guys by actually tying them up with a top or something i've taken off. i tell them once to behave, or i'm going to tie them up, and then i follow through the next time. though, surprisingly, it keeps their hands where they should be, and almost always gets me that second (or third or 10th) dance. also, it's funny especially if they are with their friends, their friends always find it hillarious, and one time a bachelor that i tied up, his friends bought a CR with him, and asked me to beat him up. it was awesome. :D
just brush it off. tell them no, and if they persist, then tell them no, firmly. tell them in plain terms "i am not a prostitute. i will not go home with you for any amount of money". and if they keep it up, just up and leave. tell a bouncer (though make sure you are tippping them well, if extras go on, the extras girls might be paying them to keep their mouth shut) that a customer is harassing you.
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Re: Dirty Talking
I've been getting this a lot more recently; I think it's just part of the economy. Guys are starting to expect more for less.
I can't even bring myself to do the whole flirty, "Oh, of course I can't give you a blow job, you're such a bad boy!" If they ask for extras, I will tell them, politely but firmly, "No. I don't do that." I don't make any excuses about it being against the rules--even if it was allowed, I wouldn't do it, and I feel that bringing the club up as an excuse just leads them to the idea that I would be willing to go home with them.
If they ask for extras once, and I say no, and they drop it, it doesn't really bother me. A lot of times they'll apologize, and I tell them it's okay--at least they ask and don't just assume they're getting extras. If they DON'T drop it, I tell the bouncer.
I know how you feel about it killing your mood for the remainder of the dance. Just work through it. A lot of the time, I will be in a totally blah mood while giving a dance, and they'll be really into it and buy more and more and more. Even when the guy seems completely bored, I'll ask if he wants another dance, and a lot of the time he'll say yes. Lots of guys are very easy to please.
As for the dirty talking, as soon as you've made it clear that they're not getting any extras from you, you should feel free to use whatever techniques you use normally. If they still expect something, that's not your fault, and if they're pushy or grabby, stop the dance and get the bouncer. Don't feel responsible for their misconceptions.