Out today.... Enjoy
Cheetahs Club & Restaurant
So what if it offers nyotaimori (all-you-can-eat sushi served on a naked woman) in its private Kabuki room? Cheetahs is a real strip club through and through. Think iced urinals and doormen who resemble characters from Boogie Nights—and not ironically, either. The girls here are a tad more desperate than at other clubs (expect to be invited to their weekend DJ gigs) but not pushy, and they don’t mind putting their hands near your crotch during a lap dance. 252 W 43rd St between Seventh and Eighth Aves (212-819-9300, cheetahnyc.com)
Flashdancers
This basement-level space fills up on Friday and Saturday nights, but by day it’s still a popular destination for tourists, businessmen and the odd celeb. Its taxi-top ads, pamphleteers and proximity to Times Square ensure regular foot traffic—including a dozen or so girls looking for jobs each night. The high worker turnover makes for a roomful of the city’s most beautiful transients (with Eastern Europe and South America well represented); a lap dance here is like getting up close with a Renaissance-period statue—a bit cold; and a bit awe-inspiring, if a bit boring for its lack of imperfection and personality. 1674 Broadway between 52nd and 53rd Sts (212-315-5107, flashdancersnyc.com)
Head Quarters
The slimmer pickings of this loungey club’s “boutique” staff—35 girls on an average night, 75 at most when busy—aren’t a plus for the variety-is-the-spice-of-life type. But HQ’s hospitable staff has a genuine appreciation for repeat customers, making birthday phone calls, doling out promotional freebies like baseball tickets and discounting dinner packages at the upstairs restaurant. Moreover, this is where you go to find women who might not fit into a typical club’s ideals—e.g., between the ages of 30 and 35. On a weeknight, you’ll likely spend more time chatting with the pretty Hungarian after you’ve paid for the lapdance than before—a pleasant bonus if you’re into that “talking” stuff. 552 W 38th St between Tenth and Eleventh Aves (212-967-4646, hqnewyork.com)
Lace
Despite its frilly name, this location of Lace is a no-frills establishment: It’s roughly the size of some other clubs’ bathrooms, and there isn’t even a bar to drink at—just a handful of seats on the cabaret floor and one lonely stripper pole. Of course, what it lacks in flash and velvet it makes up for in intimacy: Don’t be surprised if you catch a nipple in your mouth during a lap dance—the girls here are mighty forward. 689 Eighth Ave at 43rd St (212-765-5047, laceclubs.com)
Penthouse Executive Club
For all the raunch the Penthouse name connotes, this club is remarkably refined—classy is not an ironic description. Catering to well-padded expense accounts (charges show as “Robert’s Steakhouse”) and bonus-laden financial types, the Executive Club crams 19 private rooms—spaces range in size from coffin to a Hell’s Kitchen 3BR, with price tags from $150 to $1,000 an hour—into a deceptively cozy 2.5-level arena. A small stage sits dead center, with two single-occupancy go-go platforms accommodating additional pole dancers upstairs. Lured by VIP expenditures and repeat customers, the city’s most sought-after entertainers perform here—as many as 80 on a weeknight. The net is a bevy of attractive pros—sexy, flirty and experienced veterans of the New York–Las Vegas–Miami megaclub scenes—savvy at parting men from their paychecks. Still, a Jackson is all anyone needs to enjoy a well-practiced caress from a perfectly made-up seductress. 603 W 45th St between Eleventh Ave and West Side Hwy (212-245-0002, penthouseexecutiveclub.com)
Pussycat Lounge
If you do your drinking at a place like Doc Holliday’s, then you’d do well to go ogling at Pussycat Lounge. Part after-work bar, part strip club and part circus sideshow (at least when the freaks do their burlesque), PL is a curiosity—a place to see cute but unspectacular girls jiggle their assets on a long stage behind and above the bar. The performers are as diverse as New York; many are of African, Caribbean, Eastern European and Latin American descent. Their hands-on approach to lap dances can be more pleasurable than the going-through-the-motions moves administered by the tired émigrés at some other clubs. Just be careful: The tiny space reserved for the club’s private dances—four leather chairs facing each other—offers little privacy. 96 Greenwich St at Rector St (212-349-4800, pussycatloungenyc.com)
Rick’s Cabaret
At least 30 slender girls line the 40-foot neon-lit bar on a given night, and though the younger, less synthetic ones are picky, motorboating (Wiki it) is par for the course once you’ve secured a lap dance. With three floors spanning 10,000 feet, privacy is no problem. Each gal wears a thong or G-string and will sandwich your face between her breasts and rub her butt against your crotch, and they’re all surprisingly complimentary while doing so (“I love your hair. You should be a model. Do you have ten girlfriends? You don’t? Why not?”). Bonus: If you show up between 11am and 3pm on a weekday, the club offers a $10 prix-fixe lunch (steak frites, crab cake sandwich, etc.). 50 W 33rd St at Broadway (212-372-0850, ricks.com)
Sapphire
This 10,000-square-foot, multimillion-dollar club took over the old Scores space five months ago, but this is an altogether classier affair—not even one disco ball remains. Instead you’ll find VIP cabana lounges (starting at $350); a DJ playing the likes of Kings of Leon; a private “Scarlet Room” (complete with mirrors, flat-screen TVs and leather upholstery); and 30 or more topless, adequately chested dancers eager to talk and capable of doing handstands (naked), but more standoffish than other clubs when it comes to lap dances. 333 E 60th St between First and Second Aves (212-421-3600, nysapphire.com)
Scores New York
Having recently undergone a carpet-up overhaul, Scores New York may come as a shock to visitors with the old Scores West: Yes, Mariah Carey is still blasting over the sound system, but everything else—including the glowing center stage—render it otherwise unrecognizable. Plush upholstery lines everything, including the walls of the 19 luxurious lap-dance closets. The Meatpacking’s slide into B&T-ville and a soft reopening have made for a quieter experience—on a recent Saturday night, 40 or so entertainers skirted the half-full floor. This warm-up period translates into a relaxed dress code, open seating at Robert’s Restaurant steakhouse, and entertainers with time to chat before and after your $20 lap dance. How else would you learn that the smokin’-hot “blond” with the smoothest legs ever sends her earnings to Brazil to support a family of eight? 536 W 28th St between Tenth and Eleventh Aves (212-868-4900, www.scoresny.com)
The VIP Club New York
This Wall Streeter hang spot boasts plenty of VIP couches, red-velvet chairs and, as its website proclaims, “never more than four ugly [strippers]” at any given time. It’s upscale enough for the likes of athletes and rock stars, but you’ll still have your pick of 50 smarter-than-they-look ladies with a knack for conversation. (On a recent visit, we chatted with an intellectual, funny, almost snide Romanian gal—it was like getting a lap dance from a female Woody Allen.) Even better, those same dames make a surprising amount of eye contact and can pull off a figure A with dexterous aplomb. 20 W 20th St between Fifth and Sixth Aves (212-633-1199, thevipclubnyc.com)
Time Out New York / Jun 29, 2009

