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Stripper-Positive Therapists?
Hey Everyone,
I've noticed, in my own search for a therapist and in other threads in this forum, that a sex-positive, stripper-positive shrink is hard to find. I would really love to compile a worldwide list of these folks so that we can find them and get the help we need, without all the bullshit "pathologizing" of how we earn a living. We should be able to talk openly about the ups AND downs, however serious, that we all experience at work-- with a trustworthy professional who can help us work out serious negative patterns and issues in our lives, whether they are related to dancing or not. We should be able to do all of these things WITHOUT this block many mental health professionals put up instantly when we tell them we are strippers (talk about getting in the way of doing any real inner work!).
I'm serious about starting this list. Anyone know of therapists or have suggestions on how I can get started?
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Re: Stripper-Positive Therapists?
I would be interested in seeing a list too.
I really want to go back to therapy but my old therapist sees me being a stripper as a problem that we need to fix... and I don't see it that way at all.
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Re: Stripper-Positive Therapists?
To be quite honest most therapists see sex workers as troubled individuals of course everyone they see is a troubled individual.
A good therapist will be able to identify the problem on an individual bases so even if dancing is not a problem for some it may be for others and a therapist must be open minded and not pro or anti any legal job.
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Re: Stripper-Positive Therapists?
Not to be too much of a trouble-maker, but searching for a therapist who only tells you what you want to hear????
Just because something is legal doesn't mean squat. It may still be bad for you.
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Re: Stripper-Positive Therapists?
i dont think its being told what one wants to hear. i dont think thats it at all. this is more like being lesbian and wanting a therapist who isnt homophobic. i had an excellent counselor at a youth center who disagreed with me on several things but never said my being bisexual was an issue. we talked about issues that came up as a result of that, which is what id like to do with a therapist now.
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Re: Stripper-Positive Therapists?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Shy_Guy
Not to be too much of a trouble-maker, but searching for a therapist who only tells you what you want to hear????
Just because something is legal doesn't mean squat. It may still be bad for you.
I'm not looking for someone who's just going to tell me what I want to hear, but I don't want to be dismissed as a fucked up stripper just because I am a stripper. I've had therapists where they decide what they think before you walk in the door and you waste an entire session going over the same issue when its a non-issue. That is exhausting and a waste of money.
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Re: Stripper-Positive Therapists?
If he or she is a good therapist, I think its going to depend on each individual... It is not so much an attitude towards dancers per se, as much as the effect that dancing has on a particular individual's psyche.
He might tell two dancers that dancing is the worst thing they can do because they suffer self-esteem issues,... yet, tell another dancers that dancing is a perfectly legit way for her to express her sexual energy and creativity... to be independent and business-savy...
Face it - it is a job that involves selling very intimate services, dealing with constant rejection and assholes that want to kiss you and grope you (actions that would be a criminal offenses in any other work environment), there is stigma and negative stereotypes attached to it, you probably have to cope with strong disapproval from family members, a lot of guys don't want to date or marry dancers, etc.
I've been in this forum long enought to notice that some dancers hate every minute of their job and have issues with men... and others treat it like any other job or business, without letting it hurt their self-esteem or affect their relationships.
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Re: Stripper-Positive Therapists?
I agree!
I know exactly where you're coming from.
My therapist is the same way.
I presently don't know of any "dancing-friendly" therapists- but I will be on the look out.
This is a great thread idea, if you ask me. :)
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Re: Stripper-Positive Therapists?
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Originally Posted by
M3wlove
i dont think its being told what one wants to hear. i dont think thats it at all. this is more like being lesbian and wanting a therapist who isnt homophobic.
I think this is an excellent analogy.
I was considering going to a psychologist this semester while i am still a student and still insured before i have to track down a shittier policy and pay out of my own pocket. I am a pretty happy person, but i figure it cant hurt to do while its still free. I was also worried about finding oen who wouldnt immediately make me try to feel awful about my job.
A lot of people have preconcieved notions and will not bother listening to the person with an open mind. A therapist should always be open minded and never pass judgement like assuming one is a trainwreck if htey dance.
I am fairly open compared to most dancers about my profession. However, when I tell some people, a common reaction is "are you really ok with your job." I dont want to walk into a therapists office and have this be the first thing said. I love my job and it has opened up so many opportunities that were not available to me before. However, even if my job fits where i am in life right now, I do still want to be able to have a third party listen to some of the stuff in life that I still havent sorted out. Most of the stuff is unrelated to dancing... and a lot of the problems that i had in my life i have actually been able to fix because of dancing. And yes, there are some shitty things that happen at the club that would be good to discuss with a shrink. However, if i walk in the door say im a dancer and the shrink immediately decides i have daddy issues, drug problems, self esteem problems, etc etc. then they will not really be able to offer me any constructive advice or listen to me in a way that makes me feel comfortable.
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Re: Stripper-Positive Therapists?
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Originally Posted by
Athenathefabulous
I love my job and it has opened up so many opportunities that were not available to me before.
Way OT, but I'm curious, what opportunities did dancing open up for you?
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Re: Stripper-Positive Therapists?
I always thought a qualified thereapist is trained to be open minded. They must hear all sorts of ugly stuff from their clients if they gor all judgemental on someone's choice of occupation I'd hate to see how they handle someone with really ugly experiences.
I've never had a problem all therepists I've had have been senstaive not to alienate me for what i do and tend to setp around my occupation unless i bring it up myself.Maybe I've just been really lucky!
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Re: Stripper-Positive Therapists?
I have a dancer positive therapist! She is mainly concerned with any consumptions i have, be they alcohol, caffeine, or illicit. She doesn't care about job details, but more how they affect you. If anyone would like to visit her, feel free to PM me. She lives in Ramona, CA and is definately worth the trip.
This woman is the best doctor I've found to date.
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Re: Stripper-Positive Therapists?
Oh, thank you everyone for posting. I've found free or low-cost therapy before, but sex-positive/stripper-positive is much harder--thank you to Callista for posting about the doctor in Ramona, CA! Let's get more up here!
Oh, and if anyone wishes to debate whether or not dancing is healthy, this is not the thread in which to do so. That's exactly what we're trying to avoid--pre-existing judgments--and that's why we need to pool our resources!
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Re: Stripper-Positive Therapists?
An overly semantic response, I know, but something to help the thought process along:
Be wary of the stripper-POSITIVE therapist. That's a pre-existing bias as well. You want a NEUTRAL therapist. Someone who'll analyze whether your specific situation is good or bad.
I bring this up because you need to ask yourself if you're willing to accept the possibility that dancing IS bad for you. Just as bad (or even worse, actually) than the therapist who'll condemn your occupation out-of-hand is the therapist who'll help you defend your occupation when it's the wrong thing to do for you.
I highly support finding a therapist who'll objectively review your personal situation. BUT, are you ready for that therapist to tell you dancing is the source of many of your issues? Are you open to the possibility that dancing ISN'T for you?
Too many dancers will defend their occupation irrationally. For many, it's not the job, it's the symbolism. They defend their freedom, their income, their empowerment. An attack on the job is seen as an attack on those things.
I don't presume to know anyone's situation. This may not apply to you, but I bet it does to someone else. Don't dismiss a therapist because she says dancing is harmful to you. Hear her out. Maybe, just maybe, she's right.
Again, are you willing to accept that as a possibility? Or is that a non-negotiable?
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Re: Stripper-Positive Therapists?
Again, are you willing to accept that as a possibility? Or is that a non-negotiable?[/QUOTE]
Yes, stripping might be affecting some women in a bad way but the whole point of seeing a therapist that has insight into psychological matters is so that the therapist can help the dancer in overcoming whatever the job entails that's affecting her in a bad way.
If a stock broker sees a therapist because his job is making him stressed, surely other advice is expected other than just telling him to get out as it's affecting him badly! The issue here is that I suspect a lot of therapists don't have the insight and understanding and as such they're pretty crap at their job!
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Re: Stripper-Positive Therapists?
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Originally Posted by
shameless
If a stock broker sees a therapist because his job is making him stressed, surely other advice is expected other than just telling him to get out as it's affecting him badly!
Quitting isn't always the right option, of course. But if the therapist's job is consumed by putting out all the fires the job is creating, quitting may be the best option. Stock broker, dancer, whatever. Plenty of bankers, lawyers, doctors, engineers, etc. quit because the job was bad for them. (My dad is a perfect example. He was an engineer at what would become JPL working on the Mercury and Gemini projects. The job was too stressful and political for him. He quit. Finances were hard for a while, but he was much happier.) Sure they could have spent dollars and time fighting the fires, but they just got rid of the source (or the exasperator) of their issues instead.
It's a trade-off between the effort required to deal with the consequences of and the benefits gained from whatever the issue is.
A personal analogy. I broke my foot (hairline fracture). My doctor told me to stop playing on it (soccer). I choose to ignore him. I didn't look for a doctor that would tell me it was OK to keep playing on it. That would be stupid. It has never healed completely. It still hurts on occasion. My doctor gave me tips on how to mitigate the damage, but it was clear that I was going to have to deal with some possibly life-long issues. I made that choice knowing the repercussions. If I went to a doctor that told me what I wanted to hear, I would wake up years later wondering why I never healed. It was my doctor's job to tell me to stop playing based upon my situation.
I'm just cautioning against assuming that quitting dancing is NEVER the right option. Some therapists are like dancers . . . they'll tell their customers whatever they want to hear as long as the money keeps flowing. You don't want that therapist.
Of course, if quitting dancing is just not an option for whatever reason, that should be made clear.
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Re: Stripper-Positive Therapists?
not to be abrupt or rude, but could we keep posting about good therapists? ;D
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Re: Stripper-Positive Therapists?
^ Sorry, just trying to suggest ways to get the most from your therapy sessions.
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Re: Stripper-Positive Therapists?
I'm going to print out this thread and show it to a knowledgeable person for her opinion. I'll get back to ya'all.
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Re: Stripper-Positive Therapists?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Shy_Guy
Way OT, but I'm curious, what opportunities did dancing open up for you?
Well financially, the biggest one is it opened up the oportunity for me to travel. To some this might not seem like a big deal, but to me its very important. Its one of my favorite activities. I'm pretty extroverted and like meeting new people (unrelated to my job) and experiencing new things. I went traveling last month, and it was just the mental cleaning i needed.
A lot of people around cleveland lead very stagnant lifestyles. Dancing for some reason was the thing that made me look around and re-evaluate my situation and decide i did not want to be a low life doing nothing. Even the college students around here dont take control over their lives... they study to get their decent grades (some of them do at least, not even most though) and then count on having mommy and daddy land them a job after their degree is complete. Those that arent fortunate enough to have those parents kind of hang around cleveland working shitty jobs, many of which dont even require their degree. Through dancing I met a lot of people, both customers and dancers, who had done well financially through taking control of their own life. So since I started dancing I got my act together and I am now graduating early and am planning on getting the fuck out of cleveland as soon as i do. The money I made from dancing is going to let me get out of cleveland so i can go somewhere with more opportunities. And for the first time in my life i actually have tangible goals with a plan and the drive necessary to complete them.
So for me dancing has had a very positive effect on my life. If i didnt start, im not quite sure what i would be doing right now, but i am pretty sure it would be aimless.
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Re: Stripper-Positive Therapists?
interesting thread! i never brought up dancing to any of my past therapists. i think that's probably a bad sign if you're hiding your job from someone with whom you're supposed to be totally open.
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Re: Stripper-Positive Therapists?
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Originally Posted by
camille27
interesting thread! i never brought up dancing to any of my past therapists. i think that's probably a bad sign if you're hiding your job from someone with whom you're supposed to be totally open.
If you didn't mention it because it never occurred to you that is not a problem; if you didn't mention it because you didn't want her to know that is a big problem.
Didn't you have to fill out a form that asked 1000 questions one of which was what do you do for a living?
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Re: Stripper-Positive Therapists?
it just never seemed relevant. ".......oh by the way, i'm a stripper."
perhaps i've just gotten used to keeping my job to myself. i dunno. we just never got around to it :boxedin:
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Re: Stripper-Positive Therapists?
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Originally Posted by
Nuclear Martini
This thread would have so much more potential if the men of stripperweb (WTF?) weren't involved in it. This is a topic they just don't get!
That is what the women only forums are for it was the OP's choice to post here. A women should start a thread in a woman's only forum and see if a list appears.
A list really would not be helpful as a therapist has to be objective with each client. It can be a long processes to find a therapist one is comfortable with and is able to help.
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Re: Stripper-Positive Therapists?
I could tell you a few therapists strippers should avoid . . . haven't personally found any good ones yet.
Added for clarity:
Every therapist I've been to wants to know off the bat what I do for a living. I don't know if that's relevant to therapy, or they just want to know if I can pay, or what, but that's the case. Once they know, it's all THEY want to talk about. Even though my day to day issues have nothing to do with my job, and do not occur in that setting.