Guys Making You Feel Like Shit About Dancing
So I am feeling like complete shit right now. I know there are people that don't accept dancers and look down on them. I get it. I usually write it off as they are closed minded and they can go fuck themselves. But it still hurts when people make you feel bad about yourself for dancing.
I have been talking to this guy and I told him that I dance and he completely freaked out on me and started lecturing me about morality and how he can never be interested in a chick that takes her clothes off for money. Its just sad because I liked him, and really its that he doesn't accept me as a person.
I dealt with a guy freaking out when I told my ex, and even he didn't freak out as much as this guy did. WTF. Who the fuck does this guy think he is?? Some random trying to preach to me. I know a ton of girls have posted about this same thing, but I just had to vent and get it off my chest because I am feeling like crap. :'(
Re: Guys Making You Feel Like Shit About Dancing
Some people are that way.
I would ask them why they think what they do. Is it because a girl is supposed to be chaste? Is it a religious belief? Or? I know you mentioned morality.
Sometimes I would understand why they felt that way, and go on. Other times I would tell them to go fuck themselves. It just depends. But he's obviously not the guy for you.
Don't let him make you feel like crap just because he doesn't agree with the lifestyle you lead. That's ok if he doesn't. Everyone is not supposed to agree with us. Stand up for yourself and tell him you do it because it's ok with you, and you don't agree with what he believes.
Take care of yourself!
Re: Guys Making You Feel Like Shit About Dancing
Thats gonna happen. Not all men are going to be accepting of what we do for a living. They may not understand it, care to understand, and/or have many misconceptions of strippers. Not every guy could deal with a girl who gets naked for money. It doesn't make you a bad person, or him a bad person. He shouldn't have tried to put you down, but be thankful he was honest about how he felt. He shouldn't have 'freaked out' on you or tried to call you a bad person though, but I hate the guys who are cool about it at first and then they are not a few months down the line. I would rather a guy be upfront about it. I couldn't date a guy who had to constantly travel for his job. It wouldn't matter if it was business. Thats just not for me. Cheer up girlie there are plenty of fish in the sea! FYI - If he really freaked and tried to put you down he was a doucher anyway. People are going to give us flack for choosing this job. I got a lot of it from my family when they found out. It sucks, but we just have to realize that it is the best choice for us and they will probably never understand.
Re: Guys Making You Feel Like Shit About Dancing
If he ever contacts you again I'd suggest telling him that you aren't interested in be associated with anyone as close minded as he is. Seriously, it's just silly but we've all been through it. You don't need people like that in your life.
Re: Guys Making You Feel Like Shit About Dancing
Duh. Its because you are a prostitute and a home wrecker. You show your genetalia and breasts for money. How much worse could it be?
Re: Guys Making You Feel Like Shit About Dancing
Report Post time ladies!!
Re: Guys Making You Feel Like Shit About Dancing
Quote:
Originally Posted by
KiwiStrawberry Splenda
Report Post time ladies!!
:highfive: ahhhhh I wish I could say what I really feel. But I don't think I feel anything since I'm just a prostituting home wrecker. But then again at least I know how to spell genitalia... Hmmm excuse me ladies I just need to go roll in a pile of my money naked laughing at how fabulous my life is. Maybe I'll be really slutty and masturbate at the same time.
Oh wait... OP...
Ummm yeah guys are jerks. But not all of them. If this is how this dude feels, he's probably the same type of guy that wouldn't like it that you get to cum 5 times + and he can only blow once. Some guys think it's damn hot! You will find one. Just keep looking. :hug:
Re: Guys Making You Feel Like Shit About Dancing
WTF that's whack. dw been there done that.
Tell him the fact that you're a dancer doesn't change you as a person. You're still the person he knew.
I've had this alot. Ignorance is usually the main cause.
It's not you dancing. It's your stage name... an utterly different persona..
we're living in the 21st century..... hard to believe there are still so many prudes...
Re: Guys Making You Feel Like Shit About Dancing
Exactly the same happened to me, I havnt been dancing long, but i told the lad i was seeing and got an extremely negative reaction. He's a dick anyway, People who try and make you feel bad about it are stupid and for the most part not worth ur time. If he'd been concerned about your safety etc then yeh, fair enough, genuine concern for you, those fears can be alayed. But going all ''moral police'' just says they cant handle it, need to get over themselves and you're better off without their negativity around you!
Re: Guys Making You Feel Like Shit About Dancing
I was speaking to a very dear friend of mine about this the other day, and I am going to be completely honest and a lot of you might get mad at me for it. But it is what I percieve to be the truth.
I ALWAYS tell a guy on the first date. ALWAYS. Because truthfully, a good lot of them are not going to be okay with what you do for a living, and you need to give him the opportunity up front to see if this is something he wants to deal with.
A lot of men, even when they say they are okay with it, change their mind as the relationship gets more and more serious. I had my heart totally destroyed and crushed this way and I almost spontaneously combusted: the love of my life told me he wanted me to quit, and left me when I didn't.
When men like a girl a lot or love her, they sort of want to protect us- or the good ones do. The guy who was the love of my life said he wanted something better for me, that now that we were getting serious he felt it was time for a change. Was he being a huge douche? No. I totally see his point, actually.
Look. I guess what it boils down to is it takes a very, very special kind of man to have the confidence and support skills needed to date someone in our profession. I feel like I miss out on a LOT of great men because of my occupation. I do not believe that men who choose not to date dancers are simply closed minded; it's sort of like I would never date or marry a man in the military because I couldn't handle him being gone so much. Well- lots of guys can't date dancers because they don't have the stomach to imagine the girl that is most special to them taking her clothes off for people other than him.
Yeah, the guy you are describing sounds like he went off the deep end, and acted like a doucher. But from now on, I would advise telling people up front so they know what they are getting into.
Oh and as an addendum: even if they do decide they can handle it, don't tell them about Joe Redneck who grabbed your tits and smacked you on the ass then stiffed you. Bad work stories + boyfriend = disaster for him emotionally and your relationship.
Re: Guys Making You Feel Like Shit About Dancing
^^^^ I totally understand this. I have also dated guys, and was always upfront about my job, but invariably when things became serious, most of them couldn't deal with me being a dancer. That does not make them bad guys. Now the guys that get on his high horse and start lecturing me about morality are total douchebags and not worthy of one minute of my time. This guy sounds like the douche type for sure. As a dancer though, part of the job is accepting that you are going to miss out on a lot of guys, good and bad.
One more thing, if you met him AT a strip club, and he still has the nerve to lecture you about morality, or say that he is "too good" to date a stripper, delete his number and never look back. I know this may seem like common sense, but I made the mistake of perpetuating a relationship with a guy I met in the club, who was okay with me dancing at first, but later gave me this bullshit about how it's immoral, and blah blah blah. It's so hypocritical that he MET me there (he was a customer spending his money there which makes him just as guilty as me!) and then later had the nerve to spit this bullshit. Funny enough, he is now serving a 2-4 year sentence in prison for fraud. I guess the joke is on him.
Sorry, /rant
Re: Guys Making You Feel Like Shit About Dancing
Girls, Please report ausland, Im really tired of his shit for brains coming on here and putting down the girls. Hey asshole- Ive never sucked a dick in a stripclub or had sex EVER!!! Ive been sexually harassed at EVERY job I ever had before this one. This is the only one I've ever had that I was able to use that type of dumbasses weaknesses against themselves. How is air- dancing nude the same as a prostitute? If I wanted to prostitute, (which I don't- I would only do something like that out of desperation) - then I would go work for an escort service. In stripping- its all about , having the power of beauty and NOT letting the man have what he wants- DUH!!!!!!I THINK SOMEONE HAS A MAJOR FEAR OF WOMAN ENPOWERING THEMSELVES......Ladies, please click the flag below auslands name and have his coward ass reported. Thanks!!!! Oh- and by the way- Ive had problems from people not understanding it- my only solution, is to find someone who has been an entertainer or salesman and understands- it isn't real, only a hussle for cash. You have to find someone who is of higher intelligence with more life experience and wisdom- who understands what is real and what isn't. Someone who has a high EQ and isn't a backwards caveman, and is higher evolved and "Gets It."
Re: Guys Making You Feel Like Shit About Dancing
Quote:
Originally Posted by
mediocrity
Look. I guess what it boils down to is it takes a very, very special kind of man to have the confidence and support skills needed to date someone in our profession. I feel like I miss out on a LOT of great men because of my occupation. I do not believe that men who choose not to date dancers are simply closed minded; it's sort of like I would never date or marry a man in the military because I couldn't handle him being gone so much. Well- lots of guys can't date dancers because they don't have the stomach to imagine the girl that is most special to them taking her clothes off for people other than him.
I think this makes a lot of sense, and I feel the same way about cigarette smokers. I can't handle the idea of watching someone I am so close to killing himself slowly, or the idea that he is going to die prematurely and suffer a much lower quality of life in the meantime. I have several good friends who are heavy smokers (one is actually an ex and a pretty good guy) and it really hurts me to watch them destroy themselves this way.
Re: Guys Making You Feel Like Shit About Dancing
I think it's one thing when it's just a normal guy...but when it's guys at the club while you're at work lecturing you I find it completely ridiculous. People like that shouldn't even be at a strip club if they're only going to be disdainful and ridicule every girl there. It makes for a shitty environment for everyone.
Re: Guys Making You Feel Like Shit About Dancing
Quote:
Originally Posted by
J.D.
One more thing, if you met him AT a strip club, and he still has the nerve to lecture you about morality, or say that he is "too good" to date a stripper, delete his number and never look back. I know this may seem like common sense, but I made the mistake of perpetuating a relationship with a guy I met in the club, who was okay with me dancing at first, but later gave me this bullshit about how it's immoral, and blah blah blah. It's so hypocritical that he MET me there (he was a customer spending his money there which makes him just as guilty as me!) and then later had the nerve to spit this bullshit.
Girl I did the same thing. First and last time I ever met a guy outside the club, and biggest mistake ever.. He was a mindfuck and a half...
anyways--Guys can't understand we do this job b/c we choose too and we like it, they want to try to make us feel bad, bring us down, and break our spirits. We are strong women and they can't handle it..
Like Medio said... It takes a certain kind of man to date one of us. He's out there for each of us! And if it takes a while to find him, at least we'll get rich along the way! Regular women hope to marry into money-we have our own and just hope to find someone to share it with :)
Re: Guys Making You Feel Like Shit About Dancing
Quote:
Originally Posted by
mediocrity
Look. I guess what it boils down to is it takes a very, very special kind of man to have the confidence and support skills needed to date someone in our profession. I feel like I miss out on a LOT of great men because of my occupation. I do not believe that men who choose not to date dancers are simply closed minded; it's sort of like I would never date or marry a man in the military because I couldn't handle him being gone so much. Well- lots of guys can't date dancers because they don't have the stomach to imagine the girl that is most special to them taking her clothes off for people other than him.
.
Thanks girls. Yea I just didn't expect him to freak out because although I met him outside a club (we met in Vegas actually), he seemed open minded and likes to go out and likes to go to strip clubs. I can't stand when guys are hypocritical - the guy will go to strip clubs as a customer, but then tries to lecture ME about how dirty strip clubs are and how I have loose morals to take my clothes off for money.
His main contention was that nudity should be saved for someone special as a gift, and I shouldn't just be "giving" myself away like that. BUT, once again, he was totally hypocritical because i was like, well how many girls have you slept with? (70ish) OH REALLY? Aren't you supposed to be saving that "gift" for someone special? That made him pause.
Anyways, he and I are done, and its for the better. I don't need negativity like that in my life.
Re: Guys Making You Feel Like Shit About Dancing
Quote:
Originally Posted by
lizzybaby
Thanks girls. Yea I just didn't expect him to freak out because although I met him outside a club (we met in Vegas actually), he seemed open minded and likes to go out and likes to go to strip clubs. I can't stand when guys are hypocritical - the guy will go to strip clubs as a customer, but then tries to lecture ME about how dirty strip clubs are and how I have loose morals to take my clothes off for money.
His main contention was that nudity should be saved for someone special as a gift, and I shouldn't just be "giving" myself away like that. BUT, once again, he was totally hypocritical because i was like, well how many girls have you slept with? (70ish) OH REALLY? Aren't you supposed to be saving that "gift" for someone special? That made him pause.
Anyways, he and I are done, and its for the better. I don't need negativity like that in my life.
omg! a gift?!? we're not "giving" it away, those 70 girls that slept with that asshole GAVE it away.
he's just the type of douche that doesn't want women to know how much their sexuality is worth, and would rather we work at mcdonald's and sleep with losers for free.
WTF. i wanna punch this guy in the face. gift my ass.
just because WE were gifted with beautiful bodies doesn't mean we have to re-gift it for free! i'll show my gifts in exchange for cash gifts! grrrr.
this is why i'm not trying to date right now. if i go out on dates, it with a guy i meet at the club, because he already knows. and not all strippers get naked. i get as naked as they do on the beach in brazil. i consider myself more of a professional flirt than girl who takes her clothes off for money.
Re: Guys Making You Feel Like Shit About Dancing
No matter what you do for a living there will be someone out there who disaproves of it. Whether you are a lawyer, teacher, garbage collector, etc. There is someone who has an issue with just about anything for whatever stupid reason. I would just ignore those narrow minded individuals. Every profession is much needed in our society, including stripping.