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when you are trying to touch a dancers vajayjay and she is trying to stop you...
Why don't you give up?
I constantly have customers trying to touch/finger me and for a song or two I will just squirm around like an octupus to get them to stop, but they just keep trying. Even when I grab their hands they will FIGHT with me... can I not make it anymore obvious that I don't want your dirty hands on me?
I really just don't understand the motivation for fighting with a dancer to be able to finger her... doens't this equate to sexual assault?
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Re: when you are trying to touch a dancers vajayjay and she is trying to stop you...
I'm just confused as to why they'd want to touch a stranger's genitals in the first place. These guys don't know where your crotch has been LOL!
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Re: when you are trying to touch a dancers vajayjay and she is trying to stop you...
Why didn't you quit dancing for him?
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Re: when you are trying to touch a dancers vajayjay and she is trying to stop you...
^this happens with a third of my customers EVERY night. Last night it occured with two of the three guys I danced with.
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Re: when you are trying to touch a dancers vajayjay and she is trying to stop you...
i think it's the male entitlement that patriarchy creates. also, some people are raised poorly and never had parents explain to them what "sexual assault" means.
for the record, "the lack of a 'no' does not mean 'yes'.
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Re: when you are trying to touch a dancers vajayjay and she is trying to stop you...
Maybe with the poor economy customers think they can get away with more since they think you are not making as much money.
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Re: when you are trying to touch a dancers vajayjay and she is trying to stop you...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
audrey_k
I really just don't understand the motivation for fighting with a dancer to be able to finger her... doens't this equate to sexual assault?
Yes it does you should stop the dance and call the police.
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Re: when you are trying to touch a dancers vajayjay and she is trying to stop you...
^^^^ Earl, I really hope you are serious and that's not sarcasm. I'm so happy you are finally coming to your senses. I'm proud of you buddy.
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Re: when you are trying to touch a dancers vajayjay and she is trying to stop you...
I don't mind fighting off an octopus as long as I'm getting paid. Last night I fought off Mr. Octopus arms for $500 per HALF hour. I love my club.
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Re: when you are trying to touch a dancers vajayjay and she is trying to stop you...
As long as the customer is paying it's ok to push your boundaries?
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Re: when you are trying to touch a dancers vajayjay and she is trying to stop you...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
J.D.
^^^^ Earl, I really hope you are serious and that's not sarcasm. I'm so happy you are finally coming to your senses. I'm proud of you buddy.
I never have and never will force myself on a dancer; of course I avoid private dances as that is where all the trouble is.
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Re: when you are trying to touch a dancers vajayjay and she is trying to stop you...
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Originally Posted by
rlams2000
As long as the customer is paying it's ok to push your boundaries?
1K per hour? Hell yes, he can push my boundaries. That doesn't mean I will actually do anything, but I don't mind fighting off a guy for that amount of money.
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Re: when you are trying to touch a dancers vajayjay and she is trying to stop you...
FTR I made a very similar post a few days ago.
http://forum.stripperweb.com/showthread.php?t=137194
seems to be going around I guess.
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Re: when you are trying to touch a dancers vajayjay and she is trying to stop you...
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Originally Posted by
Pretty_Penny
FTR I made a very similar post a few days ago.
seems to be going around I guess.
Could it be that more dancers are doing more and PLs are coming to expect it?
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Re: when you are trying to touch a dancers vajayjay and she is trying to stop you...
^^^ I have a different theory. I think contact is the same, maybe a little worse than a few years ago, however we as dancers notice shit like this much more because we are making much less. For example, a few years ago when I was consistently walking out with 800+, it didn't bother as much. Now that money is dwindling, I am really sensitive to asshole guys who try to pull this crap, I can't brush it off as easily.
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Re: when you are trying to touch a dancers vajayjay and she is trying to stop you...
I have noticed management is not as quick to show a PL the door in these hard times; that may have something to do with it.
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Re: when you are trying to touch a dancers vajayjay and she is trying to stop you...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
audrey_k
Why don't you give up?
I constantly have customers trying to touch/finger me and for a song or two I will just squirm around like an octupus to get them to stop, but they just keep trying. Even when I grab their hands they will FIGHT with me... can I not make it anymore obvious that I don't want your dirty hands on me?
I really just don't understand the motivation for fighting with a dancer to be able to finger her... doens't this equate to sexual assault?
Sexual assault? The first time he does it yes. But why is this going on for more than one song? Yes it is wrong but as the one being violated you have to decide, once his intentions are apparent, what means more to you...another $20 bucks or the or the sanctity of your vagina.
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Re: when you are trying to touch a dancers vajayjay and she is trying to stop you...
End the dance. Give him a warning and then make good on that warning. You don't have to subject yourself to that.
You can be damn sure NO ONE puts their hands on me. And if they try and force themselves on me they're getting punched in the face.
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Re: when you are trying to touch a dancers vajayjay and she is trying to stop you...
It sounds like the customer is treating this as a game, and not taking you seriously. Obviously, stop dancing for him, if you can forgo the money.
But, if the money is too good to resist, maybe you should playfully handcuff or tie his wrists to the chair. He'd probably love that and it would keep his hands away.
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Re: when you are trying to touch a dancers vajayjay and she is trying to stop you...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
audrey_k
Why don't you give up?
I constantly have customers trying to touch/finger me and for a song or two I will just squirm around like an octupus to get them to stop, but they just keep trying. Even when I grab their hands they will FIGHT with me... can I not make it anymore obvious that I don't want your dirty hands on me?
I really just don't understand the motivation for fighting with a dancer to be able to finger her... doens't this equate to sexual assault?
This is a replay of Penny's earlier thread [and multiple threads prior to that]. The answer is the same to all.
There are certain types of individuals who can't help stereotyping other people. In S-C's some of these are dancers and some customers. The customers who do it don't connect that its another human being with them in the LD room or VIP. She a "stripper" and in his mind this means certain things to him. Including that she must want his digits up inside her.
Dancers who practice this don't see a person, they see a "custie" and have their own package of incorrect bits of business they dump on the guy.
Its all wrong, and its all bad, no matter whose doing it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
rlams2000
Maybe with the poor economy customers think they can get away with more since they think you are not making as much money.
The stereotyping ones, probably.
Guys who know that every person is different probably don't think the rules have changed simply because the economy is bad.
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Re: when you are trying to touch a dancers vajayjay and she is trying to stop you...
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Originally Posted by
J.D.
^^^^ Earl, I really hope you are serious and that's not sarcasm. I'm so happy you are finally coming to your senses. I'm proud of you buddy.
I agree that it is a sexual assault. I don't even say the police shouldn't be called.
I will say its not an option for a dancer in the real world. If she does it once and brings the police into the club and most likely shutting it down while the investigation is taking place and causing an Alcohol Beverage Control Board report and potential violation to be filed against the club, what are the odds she gets fired?
How many more times than twice would she have to do it before having her face up on every BB in every manager's office in her state with the caption "DO NOT HIRE".
She'd have to move to find work and even then it might follow her to the new location.
Not to mention, and I say this as an former cop myself, that its unlikely she'd get a lot of sympathy from the local police on the issue. [I am NOT suggesting that is correct, quite the contrary actually.]
Its a good thought but just not feasible as things currently stand.
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Re: when you are trying to touch a dancers vajayjay and she is trying to stop you...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Earl_the_Pearl
I never have and never will force myself on a dancer; of course I avoid private dances as that is where all the trouble is.
Ditto.
Though I don't avoid private dances. I believe in communication. If I want something, no matter what kind of dance I am looking for that day, I express it politely. If the dancer says yes we have mutual consent. What I want, what she expects to get paid for it. If she says no, no boundaries crossed and no harm done on either side.
M.I.C. = Mutual Informed Consent
Its always the order of the day. ;)
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Re: when you are trying to touch a dancers vajayjay and she is trying to stop you...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
J.D.
1K per hour? Hell yes, he can push my boundaries. That doesn't mean I will actually do anything, but I don't mind fighting off a guy for that amount of money.
Im with JD on this, although only to an extent. It depends on what kind of octopus we are talking about.
If i am getting paid 1k an hr, i have no problem playing pattycake and swatting hands away
However, when it becomes like i am actually physically fighting them and am actually worried that they might overpower me and do something extremely violating, then i am less willing to subject myself to being in a room alone with them.
it sounds like audrey was dealing with the latter situation. in that case i would agree, end the dance. although oh a bad night when the bills are due i guess this is easier said than done :-\.
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Re: when you are trying to touch a dancers vajayjay and she is trying to stop you...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
J.D.
1K per hour? Hell yes, he can push my boundaries. That doesn't mean I will actually do anything, but I don't mind fighting off a guy for that amount of money.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Athenathefabulous
Im with JD on this, although only to an extent. It depends on what kind of octopus we are talking about.
If i am getting paid 1k an hr, i have no problem playing pattycake and swatting hands away
Entering into a very gray area here.
I can't see where the justification is for saying a certain type of behavior is bad, unless of course a specific amount of money is involved.
I understand real life and how it works, so I get it, but from a strictly ethical standpoint it weakens the argument being made.
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Re: when you are trying to touch a dancers vajayjay and she is trying to stop you...
I don't think she's saying it's not bad, she's saying that if it's not that aggressive and she can fend it off, then she'd rather continue with the dance.