hard to compete w/ OTC contact (aka getting "regulars")
So it seems like a lot of the girls at my club offer some sort of OTC "contact". By that I don't necessarily mean "physical" contact (though that may or may not be a part of it), but everything from text messages, emails, phone calls, etc. w/ regulars to paid lunch/dinner dates (again, not saying they're sleeping with the guys or anything).
I don't really have any burning desire to make contact w/ customers outside the club. I don't want "Serena" to become me. I don't want her in my home. I want her, and her customer base, to stay inside the club and away from my personal REAL relationships and my real life, you know what I mean?
I have a stripper myspace page and I've given my email address to a couple customers, which feels much more impersonal; that I can handle. But I wonder if I could make much more $ by cultivating some regulars (I have none right now) especially since i'm struggling to pull $100-$200 a night. Most girls seem to do this by prepaid phone/texts and non-sexual dates.
So I guess I'm wondering... is anyone else in the same predicament? Did you attempt to maintain regulars and had it hurt your relationship w/ your partner? Is it a lot of extra emotional/time-consuming work, and is it worth it? Is giving a potential reg your # much more effective than your email address? Have you been passed over by customers/lost out on cash because you won't put in that extra OTC work and other girls will?
*I made the mistake of giving 1 guy who i know has a lot of money my # and it turned out bad... he kept texting me and my bf of 5 years saw a text that made him upset (people outside the industry would surely think the worst of a stripper having a customer's # in her phone and him texting her lovey-dovey crap)
Re: hard to compete w/ OTC contact (aka getting "regulars")
yes i had this predicament at one club that i worked at where most girls made money off of regulars. The club was great and in the burbs, but since it was small, upscale, and safe, a lot of girls tended to blur the line between customer and friend. One girl would even regularly hold pictionary games after work and invite dancers and customers to it!
I dont have the patience to meet men OTC. Maybe if it really seemed benificial, but it rarely has seemed like it would be. Maybe once in a while, but its not a regular occurance for me.
These girls had their regulars, so what i did is i focused on the traveling businessmen. Does your club attract traveling men? Mine had a hotel down the road, and lotsa businessmen would come through here, so while the other girls focused on their customers i picked up the other ones who also didnt expect the same amount of contact and/or extras in the private dance rooms. I made a good living doing this and it didnt affect my OTC life. However, i get the feeling that I was the only girl who made good money without a good stash of regulars. All of the girls who (as far as i can tell, of course i dont know for sure) made what i did or made more had lotsa regulars that they would call in.
you could try getting a prepaid trap phone and just texting. If you are worried about your partner being jealous thats different. As long as you arent going on dates with him though then your partner should be chill (IF they are already ok wiht you dancing and you already have a good degree of trust built up). maybe once in a while text a joke to your customer, and give him a call once in a while to let you know you are bored at work and would like a visit.
Re: hard to compete w/ OTC contact (aka getting "regulars")
With the advent of cell phones, texting, email, IM, social networking....saying "oh, I'll get fired if I give out my number" is like Fred Flintstone trying to keep up with an automobile.
Do you need to maintain some level of personal communication with club contacts: yes. Its just like any business, if you don't...someone else will.
Will it affect your intimate relationships: yes. The extent of it will depend on where you and your significant other draw your boundaries.
Re: hard to compete w/ OTC contact (aka getting "regulars")
#1 most important thing is to have a separate prepaid phone. Most of these phone plans you can have at $20 a month after buying the phone.
I'm the same as you preferring to give out an email address. Some guys act pretty irritated that I'm not giving them a number, but I like to screen people. When they email me, are they hounding me about texting them or meeting OTC? That's the kind of guy I'll never give my cell to. Do they ask me when I'm working again and come and see me? I'll probably surprise them the next time with a text saying that I'm coming in and so on. (I dislike pushy people, so that's just me.)
I wouldn't blame the lack of a prepaid phone on not having regulars. You just might want to have one ready in case a worthwhile regular comes along. Busy professionals ONLY text you about when you're coming in. They know the drill. They appreciate that they can find out if you're working.
Bottom line, don't fall into the trap of feeling so desperate that you have to do anything you're not comfortable with. Always make decisions from a place of strength. Otherwise, hold off.
Re: hard to compete w/ OTC contact (aka getting "regulars")
Thanks ladies... but how would I bring this up to my partner, especially after that awkward situation w/ that guy texting me? "Hey honey, so I got this new cheap cell phone so I can exchange #'s with rich customers and get them coming back to see me", something like that? I don't know, I'm struggling real hard at my club right now where I'm making half of what I used to just a few months ago but I don't want to approach this the wrong way and hurt my bf or make him uncomfortable, and sometimes he's not great at communicating the fact that he's hurt/uncomfortable...
Re: hard to compete w/ OTC contact (aka getting "regulars")
I have.a few regulars and they all have my phone number. I'll talk to them mostly through texts and short phone calls. No long phone conversations or phone calls at odd hours.
I find this works because it makes the customer feel "special" and it's easier to get them
to come into the club frequently. But you have to be careful about who you give your number to. The only customer I've given my number to are normal non-psycho guys who have regular day jobs. I would never give my number to someone who is unemployed or working odd hours, has a fantasy we have more than a SC relationship, is clingy, bipolar or just plain crazy.
I've never seen a customer outside, but I think having lunch or dinner with the plan to go to
the club afterwards would work.
Re: hard to compete w/ OTC contact (aka getting "regulars")
I feel the same about the OTC activity. Any job I've had, when I go home, I switch off and relax. Home time is time for me and my family.
Technically we aren't allowed to be in contact with customers outside the club, but everyone does. It seems like I'm missing out on a lot of money but whenever someone wants the OTC contact they allude to it being for sexual favors anyway. Although it seems like I'm missing out on money by not playing that game, but I'm pretty sure I'm not. I have enough dramas in my life without introducing the potential for more.
Guess it depends on what you value, for me my family time is more important than getting more $$$$
Re: hard to compete w/ OTC contact (aka getting "regulars")
With all businesses you get out what you put in. If stripping is just a job to you then I get wanting to leave it at work. However, if it's a business you have to look at it different. I understand your point of view, though. I didnt set up a business email until I'd been dancing about 9 months and that was only because I had a good regular that was really pushing for OTC (not meeting up or anything...he just wanted the extra attention). I figured that since he came in every pay period and spent between $200-$500 it'd prob be worth my extra time... and I was right. He started consistently spending around $500 on his visits... I can't remember him ever spending less than $400 post OTC. Will your bf really get upset over email? Esp an email set up under a fictitious name (ie stage name or fake "real name")? Messages could be short and sweet...
As far as phone calls those are quite useful but reserved for better custys. A couple places I worked had payphones in the dressing room so we could give guys that # and call them. The best if you do decide to call someone is to call shortly before work: if he answers chat and see if he'll come in, if he doesn't answer leave a message that you actually had free time or were contemplating going to a party and wanted see him. Then if he calls back say something like, "Oh, well I didn't want to go alone," or, "I got bored at home so I decided to go to work." It used to work for me. Texting is useful, too.
I had a few regulars I'd hang out with when I danced in Sacramento. One of them I even trusted enough to go shooting with (I'd known him for over 2 years and my friend and the waitress came along). Another I met with my friend, who he also danced with, and we had dinner. The place we went was across the street from a mall so we used the old "those drinks were strong so we need to walk around before we drive home, would you like to walk around the mall with us?" deal. He, of course, insisted on buying us stuff in every store we went in. We actually had to say no because some of the stuff we were honestly just looking at and sooo didn't want. It was funny. I also used to have one of my super rich regs meet me at the night club I promoted and my ex-husband dj'd at. Hell, my ex and I even took a group of our friends to his house for an after party! Heh. It took me years of knowing them, trust, and ALWAYS someone to go with me to ever visit OTC, though. Phone calls, too. I made a mistake with one guy... he spent a lot, would bring me nice gifts, and was super sweet until he started being a jerk because I wouldnt meet OTC. I told him I never wanted to hear from him or see him again. He kept bugging me, texting and calling but after about a week or so he gave up and left me alone. It was annoying but it I'm lucky it wasn't worse.
Do you have any shared regs? If so it might be worthwhile to be friendly with his other reg girl so if you decide to meet for coffee or whatever you can both go.
Whatever you decide to do I wish you luck and hope you stay safe.
Re: hard to compete w/ OTC contact (aka getting "regulars")
yes if this were a job where you punched in and punched out, got paid for your time there, and when you weren't at work you didn't have to think about it that'd be one thing, but its not. like Qadesh said its a business. many business people are available for their clients to contact them when they're not in their "office". at my club its completely normal to exchange numbers. i've had good customers and girls ask "did you get his number??" and i'm like "psh yeah i'm not dumb girl!" and they're like "oh okay good!". on slow nights almost every girl is sending out texts to customers. now when i get a text at 1am its not a booty call but a customer asking me if i'm at the club. i don't have a bf now, but when i did i explained to him that this was part of the business and if he wants me to make money to my fullest potential, i need to be able to contact my clients.
i found it very hard to keep a regular without OTC phone contact because my schedule can be so erratic. i once had a customer come by 5 different times and i was never there. imagine the money i lost from that! if he could have just texted me to say he wanted to come in, i could have been at work.
its really not a large time sacrifice at all. a few texts here and there mostly.
Re: hard to compete w/ OTC contact (aka getting "regulars")
Quote:
Did you attempt to maintain regulars and had it hurt your relationship w/ your partner?
Don't even go there seriously. I used to know a dancer who was a sweet thing and had a good man at home and she continued to date her customers on the side.
I thought it was horrible because I knew that her being a dancer really bothered him.
If you care about your relationship don't even go there.
Usually if you date customers as you've mentioned (no sex) a girl will cycle through several customers. As the trend goes a custy will tell other girls "well so and so eats lunch with me" so then that girl goes to lunch to maintain contact.
I see it as a waste of time unless your up front and say "I'll have lunch with you after we go shopping." or set your hourly price.
Keep it in the club. It's safer and you know your going to get paid. Meeting outside the club the customer expects more and more for less and less.
If your boyfriend is not the jealous type you can probably get away with it.