I think I have the wrong person the wrong impression.
You guys are going to laugh at me but I am seriously bewildered.
Ok, so everyone knows J and I have an open relationship. Well, one night like six weeks ago, we brought one of my longtime dancer friends, M, home with us. During this session, I realised for the final time I am really not into sex with women, I just do it for show for J.
Anyway, since then, girl will not get up out of my grill. I'll be sitting with customers, and she will come sit on my lap. She kamikaze kisses me randomly when I'm at tables. I will be checking in and she will come up and bite my nipple, HARD. Whenever we are in the same vicinity, she is always reaching out for my nipples. I have repeatedly told her to quit it, but also, she is a terrible drunk. When she bit me I was VERY stern with her and all she did was smile and be "Aww let me rub it out for you." Also on stage the other day, I got my customer to tip her, as I get my customers to tip all my friends. She put her boobs in my face, but then got all butthurt when I wouldnt lick her, saying "You can open your mouth, you know."
GAH it's like a bad customer and I don't want to switch clubs either. I can't even hide behind J because what is he going to do, come into the club every day and supervise? Unrealistic. I don't want to tell my manager because I'm embarrassed and I don't want to hurt her feelings.
HELP HOW DO I PRY HER OFF ME???
( oh and that's supposed to be "gave", not "have" )
Re: I think I have the wrong person the wrong impression.
Telling her exactly what you just wrote here would work like a charm.
Re: I think I have the wrong person the wrong impression.
^^I agree. A straight up woman to woman chat...before she gets into the sauce.
Re: I think I have the wrong person the wrong impression.
I have told her "M, stop it. I don't like it.". I haven't sat down and had a heart to heart with her, but I figuring flipping my shit would dissuade her.. which it didn't. I will try and talk to her next time I see her. Problem is she starts dipping into the booze at 11am so by our 7pm shift she is already shitfaced.
Re: I think I have the wrong person the wrong impression.
And they say its men who miss obvious hints, heh. Some people refuse to hear stuff they don't like, you gotta be firm and repeat yourself constantly. I don't know what you can do with someone who's just drunk all the time though, i don't think this is going to end well but you really need to have that heart to heart, preferably while shes sober.
Re: I think I have the wrong person the wrong impression.
Yeah .... just tell her you originally thought woman were for both of you, but you realised it wasn't for you and apologize to her. I'd be really nice to her of course ( which is seems you are by helping her get tips / dances ) . I HATE having my nipples pulled hard or bitten and this gorgeous dancer at my club bit mine on stage and hurt me so much. At least she stopped though when I said " Oh - ouch " .
Re: I think I have the wrong person the wrong impression.
OMG Med you are such a dude. My buddy is aways saying stuff like this about girls and we are like "well did ya bang her, what do you expect".
This is a hazard of casual sex.
Re: I think I have the wrong person the wrong impression.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
fast tan77
OMG Med you are such a dude. My buddy is aways saying stuff like this about girls and we are like "well did ya bang her, what do you expect".
This is a hazard of casual sex.
Well WTF, I don't get like that so how was I supposed to know? I don't have much experience with females. Now I know why, aside from not really liking the bajingo. It's chaos!:O
Re: I think I have the wrong person the wrong impression.
Haaaaahahahahahaha. HAHAHA. Oh man. I mean I'm sorry for finding this fantastic, but... I do. It's great.
Women are such drama, I hate women. Yes, I realise where I am and the gender of most people reading this. But I just cannot date women anymore - I know firsthand how crazy we are.
I say slip a letter into her bag - she'll find it when she's sober.
Re: I think I have the wrong person the wrong impression.
People in general are crazy. The men and women just tend to exhibit it in slightly different ways.
This reminds me of that female day manager who loved to say 'With girls it doesn't count!' Meaning she had carte blanche to fuck every dancer she liked, and boy did she go through them--worse than the worst pervert male manager ever, and we know how bad they can get.
And every fucking time, there was some fucking drama and we wound up losing the dancers she fucked--every one of them!
Re: I think I have the wrong person the wrong impression.
I think the real issue is that for whatever reason some girls feel they can fuck another girl and not expect that other girl to have any feelings or interest in continuing the relationship after.
Now if you were a guy who did that to a girl brought her home fucked her and asked why she was on your grill after most people would realize that you were a jerk that used her for sex that really has no feelings for her or no real interest to begin with, but since you are a girl who is experimenting who only had sex with her to put on a show for your boyfriend for some reason you feel like you get to call her crazy and avoid owning up to letting her believe there is something going on between the two of you.
For real just think of it as if you had done the same thing to a guy cuz when it comes down to it if you gave the pussy up most probably if they liked it they would come back for more (guy or girl) and since that's not what you want maybe you should realize that for her it wasn't all about your boyfriend and that maybe fuckin some1 you are not into really isn't so hot when thats not the message you gave them by doing so.
I'm so glad I don't play with fake or wannabe bisexuals, cuz too many girls use experimenting as an excuse act retarded and lame with the feelings of other girls.
I'm not trying to be mean here I'm just saying da she's on your grill cuz you put her there now you don't want her and you never really did so of course it's on you to fix the situation not cuz she's crazy or cuz women are..no becuz that's just how most people are who want it after you gave it up. Heck I think men are 1000 times worst cuz if they want it you don't even have to give them so much as any attention for them to be all up after it.
PS I don't recommend telling your boss about what went on in private with your coworker as it might not be something she wants everyone else to know yet alone do I think the boss stepping in to take care of your personal issues with her is good for you. Yes if she continues to bite you get a bouncer on her if she won't stop, but there is no reason to get into the backstory with those you both work with.
Re: I think I have the wrong person the wrong impression.
Yeah, I gotta agree with UV69 on this. It's pretty cold to pump and dump her. Poor thing, she thinks she's got a new lover! Have a chat with her early in the day a let her down easy. Good luck.
Re: I think I have the wrong person the wrong impression.
^^ It's not like we brought her in without explaining the circumstances. I gave no impression that I wanted a girlfriend or any sort of commitment. I thought I was very clear that it was just for fun. I figured I was too young the last time I was with a girl, so I'd try it again. Upon revisiting, it isn't for me.
It isn't like I was swooning all over her, tricked her into coming home with us, and then dumped her on the curb. We've been friends around six months or so.
Re: I think I have the wrong person the wrong impression.
I didn't say you or she expected to be gfs or anything like that. NSA fun is just that, but avoiding talking to her about how it wasn't exactly your thing and you don't feel the same about keeping up the flirtation after saying she is acting like a stalker seems alittle well homophobic to me cuz her liking you and wanting to show you sexual attention after being lovers really isn't something you shouldn't be able to talk to her like an adult about instead out freaking out about.
Thats just my take on omg my experimental female lover is on my grill and I'm so not remotely bi just all about exciting my guy type of stuff.
I'm not blaming or anything I just think maybe you should think of her and treat her more like a person then that girl you didn't mean to turn on that is now after you cuz you did lead her to believe you were down to be fuck buddies and not just friends.
My advice for nsa you don't want anything with the mourning after is stranger sex and not making a fb out of a friend or cowork becuz then you are continuing that relationship with them they might still want or believe the sex then will be part of.
As for your sexuality no1 is questioning it either way it's up to you to figure out what works for you and what does, but in the process of exploring it there is no need to freak out on those that enjoyed things that you were part of that you weren't so into when just being real with your lovers/play partners could be way ezier.
I have lots of ex lovers I believe are way to into this or that I might have encouraged or played into with them (as I tend to be adventurous and open minded about alot of things), but if I took part I can't blame them for wanting to do it again or act like noway how could they think of it with me that way. I just tell them ya know it was what it was, but that's then and now I know that's not me or my thing I want to continue on..like the time I let a guy suck my strappon and let him play my lil bitch. He calls me begging for it all the time even offering me money and girls calling me from different numbers ect. I know he is alittle stalkerish cuz I have told him that yeah it was fun at that moment and a power thing thril for me, but really I don't have any real desire for men not even as a manbitch to keep anything like that ongoing still I can't blame him for having enjoyed it or that I became the object of his lesbian master obsession ciuz I did turn him out like that and probably opened up a side of him no1 else ever had. Now I don't keep feeding into it and I do tell him that it's over and been, but I don't treat him like some freak I have to avoid cuz he really is harmless and I understand that for him it was way more then it ever could be for me.
I just makesure he know where I'm drawing the line and that is it between us. Now he pretty much respects and respects that even if he does still try ever once and awhile to tslk me into it which if I don't want to hear it I just hangup on him or don't deal with him at all.
Re: I think I have the wrong person the wrong impression.
^ I think you need to look up a bit and really read into what she actually did though.
Someone you fuck isn't a lover, especially someone that already had the ground rules laid out for them - Med says she explained the situation beforehand. The situation being, it was a one off for her boyfriend.
Quote:
I have told her "M, stop it. I don't like it.". I haven't sat down and had a heart to heart with her, but I figuring flipping my shit would dissuade her.. which it didn't.
She isn't just running away and avoiding the situation.
Re: I think I have the wrong person the wrong impression.
^^ Thanks. The aggression is becoming too much for me. I'd love to still be friends with her, she's a great friend- but I thought she understood the agreement. I have been stern - anyone who knows me knows I DESPISE nipple play anyway - , I have said stop, I don't like it... and it seems to fall on deaf ears.
You say to think if I were a dude. Well, think if she was. If I have REPEATEDLY said stop, I am not comfortable with that, etc etc... ?
Moral of the story: Don't fuck your friends.
Re: I think I have the wrong person the wrong impression.
I completely agree guy or girl stop is stop and no is no period (unless we are talking rape fantasy roleplay with other safe words ). I'm personally not so nice if some1 crosses my boundaries and hurts me especially after I cared enuff to have a talk about it to them as they probably would be afraid to do that again after seeing how I react to that.
FBs are not lovers per say nsa is just that and all. I just like to believe that if you told her the whole story about how you don't feel that way at all and never did that as your friend she would then get it and respect that giving her the benefit that she was confused about things, but maybe I'm misunderstanding it here either way if she continues to bite you call a bouncer as you would if a custie or anyone else did so.