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told my parents I am a stripper
Hi guys !
well I started stripping about a month ago and its been going great love the girls ( now that they have gotten to know me lol) the club is great, my fiance' is fine with it and supportive ....now for the problems
unfortunately I have some "haters out there" my soon to be brother in laws' gf all her friends and well most of my fiances' family (whom he does not have a relationship with ) its a small town and I started running into people I knew day one ...
slowly but surely my haters started hearing about it and I knew my parents knowing was only but a phone call away ...
so I told them....
and they are not having the reaction I had hoped for.....
to complicate matters I work for my dad I manage his office and have worked there for 5 years
they are saying if i dont stop my dad doesnt think he can work with me any more ....
I dont think that is even legal...... my parents always raised me that if you are happy and not hurting any one go for it sooo its really hard for me that they are putting me in this position what do I do......
do I lose my job ( I make 18.5 an hour and have worked from the bottom up to get there)
do I stop stripping simply because they want me to
or do I wait and hope they come around
they are going to a councilor about it today
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Re: told my parents I am a stripper
Some thoughts....
From your parents perspective, they're trying to protect you from what they regard as a big mistake. And from the generational difference, they'll be much more prudish about nudity than you.
Salary from the office doesn't seem too bad... Be a shame to give that up.
I think your mistake was stripping in a small town where everyone knows everyone. And now people know who you are, you can bet (a) all your fiancee's male friends will be in to see the sights and (b) there will be a lot of gossip about you.
Were I you, I'd stop for a good 6 - 9 months, then if you still want to strip (and your fiancee is OK about it) then I'd start again - and far more discretely - in another town.
Phil.
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Re: told my parents I am a stripper
You're hurting your parents, clearly.
And yes, it's legal for them to fire you over it.
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Re: told my parents I am a stripper
100% agree with Phil
You should quit, continue working your other job, and move if you decide you really want to dance.
I started stripping in my small town as well and everyone found out, and quickly. My family was humiliated and my and my family's name was tarnished. I moved away to a big city and am still dancing, but my family and town thinks I quit. Ignorance is bliss for them and I still get to do the job I want. It's not worth it to hurt them and their name in the town. You don't realize (as I didn't) that it is a big deal, but it is. Stripping is a HUGE thing and people WILL think less of you and even worse, your family, because of it. Even though we don't think it makes us bad people, people do and we have to take our families into consideration. Good luck!
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Re: told my parents I am a stripper
wasnt the response i was expecting ....
hmmm
i really dont get how me dancing can hurt them i am not doing any thing wrong its a job
our town is small but not that small and the place I dance at is an hour away its not like its down the street
as far as the legality of them firing me
isnt firing me because I dance discrimination ?
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Re: told my parents I am a stripper
Personally I wouldn't do anything rational like all of a sudden quit dancing... You've already said you like it... so if I were you I would just logically consider all of my options. You can either try talking to your parents and explain why you like dancing. I'm sure if they just found out they're shocked and just reacting like any normal parents would. So just maybe give them a little time to register it all. And then if they are still vehemently against you dancing then you would be forced to decide between which job you value the most. Your secure job with your dad where you get very good pay OR your dancing job where you enjoy it and money is always variable. You can't really expect your parents reaction to be totally supportive. Just give them time and help them understand.
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Re: told my parents I am a stripper
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Riely
wasnt the response i was expecting ....
hmmm
i really dont get how me dancing can hurt them i am not doing any thing wrong its a job
our town is small but not that small and the place I dance at is an hour away its not like its down the street
as far as the legality of them firing me
isnt firing me because I dance discrimination ?
Discrimination against what? People that dance? People that get naked? People that do both at once? No, it's not discrimination. Just like teachers can get fired for stripping, so can you. If you brought your dad to court over it (and WOULD you?), it would be dismissed.
It's a job people feel very strongly about. You're hurting their feelings, their pride, their business, their reputation.
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Re: told my parents I am a stripper
Quote:
Originally Posted by
xoAnnaBanana
Personally I wouldn't do anything rational like all of a sudden quit dancing... You've already said you like it... so if I were you I would just logically consider all of my options. You can either try talking to your parents and explain why you like dancing. I'm sure if they just found out they're shocked and just reacting like any normal parents would. So just maybe give them a little time to register it all. And then if they are still vehemently against you dancing then you would be forced to decide between which job you value the most. Your secure job with your dad where you get very good pay OR your dancing job where you enjoy it and money is always variable. You can't really expect your parents reaction to be totally supportive. Just give them time and help them understand.
This is more the approach I was leaning toward every one has their initial reaction i am sure as time goes by they will come to their senses I am a strong women I wouldnt do something that was not good for me
I hope they realize that besides if they really want me to quite how is taking away my other income going to help lol
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Re: told my parents I am a stripper
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Riely
wasnt the response i was expecting ....
hmmm
i really dont get how me dancing can hurt them i am not doing any thing wrong its a job
our town is small but not that small and the place I dance at is an hour away its not like its down the street
as far as the legality of them firing me
isnt firing me because I dance discrimination ?
Your parents are likely to be negatively effected by the community. The people in town are going to assume that your parents abused you or allowed abuse to occur in their home for you to take on a job like stripping. They are going to have to deal with the social stigma of having a stripper in the family.
I'm not saying that is right or how things should be, but that's just how things are. Ostracization is a huge problem for sex workers everywhere in the world.
If your parents wish to preserve their reputation with their friends and business colleagues, they have to fire you or insist you quit stripping. Again, I'm not saying this is right, it is just how people are. Your parents could lose their business over this issue in a small conservative town. You are jeopardizing their reputation and their livelihood as well as your own.
I wish the world was different, I really do. But I've been in this business since 1998, and have had people say and do some really terrible things when they discovered I was a dancer. To some people, sex workers and pedophiles are equally bad for a community.
If you want to dance, you need to go to a major metropolitan area. Otherwise you are risking your family disowning you to preserve themselves.
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Re: told my parents I am a stripper
I am pretty much with everyone else on this thread. The fact that your parents are going to a counselor about this indicates that it is a pretty big deal to them. For right or wrong they think they are looking after you. In addition, the fact that you are making $18.5/hr is pretty sweet, especially if you don’t have a degree. I wasn’t even pulling in that coin when I temped in law school. I would go with Phil’s advice. Reassess. And yes, it is legal to fire you. You considering taking legal action against a father that is giving such a generous salary does give inklings of a sense of entitlement.
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Re: told my parents I am a stripper
my town is about as liberal as it gets
I live in California and my parents are not conservative i could understand if we were on the east coast or something but this is not a conservative town
plus i am dancing more then an hour away and my job does not require me to meet with customers i do accounting in an office
its a very small club mainly services the computer engineering guys that work near by
only people i have seen there are some of my fiance's friends no one that would affect my parents.... I know things travel but my parents are a little hypocritical half my dads friends are loser pot growers its not at all like they are conservative socialites
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Re: told my parents I am a stripper
And just like you're making judgement calls on how everyone else surely sees your job, they are making judgement calls about you.
They can be liberal and not want you to be a stripper.
Your dad's clients can come from a liberal town and still not want to do business anymore because of your stripping.
Your liberal townfolk will still look down on you.
People you don't even KNOW know you, will know who you are and what you do.
Stomp your foot and justify your actions all you like, you ARE hurting your parents.
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Re: told my parents I am a stripper
Quit stripping. Many women strip to eventually get to where you're at right now. $18.5 an hour is decent money, and you're about to be married. Why take a chance on screwing that up. I'm sure your fiancé will starting having second thoughts eventually.
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Re: told my parents I am a stripper
There's a possibility that they could legally fire you over it, but not a definite. If you don't want more drama then stop dancing. Otherwise, I'd recommend contact a lawyer. Even if you are the employer's daughter, what you do on your own time is generally not their business. However, some companies make employees sign agreements that they won't "moonlight" or do anything that would be morally questionable. Generally you see this with companies that are very religious or where they take their reputation extremely serious and don't want to take the chance that an employee would embarrass them.
So, if your father's business heavily relies on reputation and you might be effecting his reputation, then yes - he could fire you. However, if that is not the case then this might be something to take to the Labor board, court, etc. A lawyer will be able to give you a better idea after discussing details.
As for the fiance's family - if he's not close to them it's better not to worry what they think.
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Re: told my parents I am a stripper
keep the job, tell your parents you quit. then secretly strip on the weekends.
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Re: told my parents I am a stripper
::) I'm not even going to go there.
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Re: told my parents I am a stripper
Even if they can't legally fire you it would be wrong of you to try and force an employer to keep you on if they didn't think it was good for their business. Even moreso for you to force your PARENTS who gave you some great opportunities.
If you want to strip, resign and move out of their house. If you don't, quit stripping.
Don't be a whiny baby...sorry, but you sound very entitled
(which would shock me, and insult me as an employer. I get to decide what impacts MY business).
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Re: told my parents I am a stripper
I dont live in their house I moved out 3 years ago and am financially self sufficient
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Re: told my parents I am a stripper
Then go be financially self sufficient somewhere that it doesn't hurt your parents.
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Re: told my parents I am a stripper
I can't tell you what is a better choice. My parents were supportive with me but they also told me that they had hoped I did something else. ever considered it a mistake though. The only mistake you made really is stripping in a town where everyone knows everyone. Personal stuff gets out like that. You have to be careful. Just because you are fine with it and your fiance is fine with it, doesn't mean the rest of the important people in your life will be.
Look before you step.
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Re: told my parents I am a stripper
So, anytime you do something that your parents don't like they can just threaten to fire you?
I couldn't live like that personally but it's your life.
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Re: told my parents I am a stripper
Quote:
Originally Posted by
SteveSmith
Quit stripping. Many women strip to eventually get to where you're at right now. $18.5 an hour is decent money, and you're about to be married. Why take a chance on screwing that up. I'm sure your fiancé will starting having second thoughts eventually.
I have to agree with the cigar man. Money is not everything. You have to carefully evaluate cost versus benefit.
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Re: told my parents I am a stripper
Personally I think you came here to get your own opinion of what you want to do validated as opposed to hearing alternative points of view. So just do whatever it is you came here to affirm you should do, and best of luck.
But don't try to say that you didn't realize your parents and the towns people would react this way. You knew they would. That's why you kept it from them in the first place.
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Re: told my parents I am a stripper
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Riely
Hi guys !
well I started stripping about a month ago and its been going great love the girls ( now that they have gotten to know me lol) the club is great, my fiance' is fine with it and supportive ....now for the problems
unfortunately I have some "haters out there" my soon to be brother in laws' gf all her friends and well most of my fiances' family (whom he does not have a relationship with ) its a small town and I started running into people I knew day one ...
slowly but surely my haters started hearing about it and I knew my parents knowing was only but a phone call away ...
so I told them....
and they are not having the reaction I had hoped for.....
to complicate matters I work for my dad I manage his office and have worked there for 5 years
they are saying if i dont stop my dad doesnt think he can work with me any more ....
I dont think that is even legal...... my parents always raised me that if you are happy and not hurting any one go for it sooo its really hard for me that they are putting me in this position what do I do......
do I lose my job ( I make 18.5 an hour and have worked from the bottom up to get there)
do I stop stripping simply because they want me to
or do I wait and hope they come around
they are going to a councilor about it today
truthfully, if i were u id give up dancing, atleast for right now. sounds like its too problematic, esp with u dancing in a small town. is it possible u can quit dancing then in the future try dancing in a faraway big city?
it seems like theres just too much drama and problems associated with it and altho u might really enjoy stripping, i honestly wonder if its possible it could cause more harm than good. jus curious the reason u started stripping? i mean, i hear that the reason a lotta the peopel start stripping - atleast initialy - is becuz theyre in a bad money situation. but it doesnt sound like ur in that kinda bad spot, with the 18.50/hr full time job.
the probs stripping is posing for u:
do u really want ur "haters" as u call them from ur fiancee's family to have dirt against u? that would make it difficult and awkward at the wedding. its bad enuff ur fiancee has a bad relationship with his own fam, worse if they now hate his fiancee (u) as well.
theres the fam thing too. i guess it depends how well u valued ur relationship with them in the past, how good or bad u think they might adjust to the idea of u stripping over time, etc. personaly i wouldnt want to sever that. prolly the only time i wouldnt care what my fam thinks of me is if theyve already disowned me, say, throw me out to the streets or fire me for false accusation or something drastic like that. but mebbe thats just me.
then theres the job thing. the recession has caused alot of job losses...it might be hard to find another day job, esp if ur father provides a bad reference...which isnt completely legal for him to do that, but reality is, this kinda stuff unfortunately happens alot without consequence. e.g., once i had a ex-manager give a bad reference about me to an employer, he sited something i did that didnt even occur til long after i quit working for him. and if u dont try to find a new day job right away becuz u decide to make stripping ur full time job, then the gap on ur resume might hurt u from finding a "normal" job later in time.
another consequence of the recession is that its made stripping income - which is solely based on tips, no salary or base pay - more unreliable than ever. id hate to see u lose a job with steady pay and healthcare, then have a string of bad nites at the stripclub.
edit:
hope i didnt sound too judgemental - jus a lil worried for u thats all. i mean, ive somewhat known a few strippers here or there that started as a direct result of being disowned by their folks and left with no place to go and no job or source of income, and they started stripping as a tactic for survival, but even then most of them only did it temporary til they could get a nice day job like the one u have or else they admitted that if they hadnt been in a bad money+fam situation in the 1st place they woulda never gotten involved with it. they always did it as a REaction to parents disowning them, not an initiator of it. im just tryin to wrap my head 'round why stripping means so much to u, sorry if i sound insensitive, jus tryin to piece it all together thats all.
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Re: told my parents I am a stripper
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Lexi_Girl
Personally I think you came here to get your own opinion of what you want to do validated as opposed to hearing alternative points of view. So just do whatever it is you came here to affirm you should do, and best of luck.
But don't try to say that you didn't realize your parents and the towns people would react this way. You knew they would. That's why you kept it from them in the first place.
I must agree with lexi here, even after some of the responses u still insist on this being 'harmless', if you are really sure this what u want to do then stand up for yourslef BUT BUT don't work with ur dad anymore and move to a major city where the perception of having a sex worker for a daughter will have a negative effect on their small town biz. Not judging u, just playing devils advocate. Sorry to use the term sex worker but in gen society that's what we are considered...didn't want to sugar coat it best of luck