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why do customers brag they are 'friends' with dancers?
I do not understand why guys on this forum and in the club feel like it
is a badge of honor to say they are 'good friends' with dancers.
When I go to the club, all I want to do is get my drink on and pay
hotties to dance for me and go home. I don't care about a dancer's real
name, real life, real friends, etc....all I want is the fantasy and entertainment. Usually I like less talking, more dancing and 'method acting'. If I wanted to listen to someone's real life issues, there are always tons of work acquaintences and friends who will happily whine about what is 'wrong' with their life. I come to the club to get away from reality, not wallow in it.
Lately, there is always some guy who is sitting at the bar that feels like he needs to interject in my evening by bragging about how well he knows dancer x with a smirk on his face like he is oh so special because he thinks he has a dancer 'friend'. I ignore these tools, but I wonder why they feel the need to talk about how they are 'friends' with dancers? Who cares? Any guy on the planet has friends or acquaintences that are 'hot' (from work, hobbies, circle of friends, etc). Why do these barflies
feel like they need to tell the world they think a dancer is a 'real friend' to them?
My opinion is that being 'real friends' with dancers at a club totally ruins the club experience. I feel it is better to treat the club as a vacation where mysterious women pretend to seduce you in their underwear for
the cash. I'm interested in the opinions of other customers (and entertainers) regarding this issue.
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Re: why do customers brag they are 'friends' with dancers?
One has to deal with braggarts in all areas of one's life. In one ear and out the other works for me.
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Re: why do customers brag they are 'friends' with dancers?
The same reasons people are all like 'ooh I'm FRIENDS with that band/celebrity/insert personality here, we totally hang all the time'.
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Re: why do customers brag they are 'friends' with dancers?
All I would want from a hot stripper OTC is sex or a girlfriend, not a friend. Though all I really want is the stage shows and the LDs. Like you say, there are plenty of hot girls outside of SCs. However, ITC I do like to talk to strippers. I'm pretty indifferent to whether they act "in character" or just be more or less themselves.
I agree totally that the "stripper friend" mentality is small-minded. It's like being king of the dip-shits. There is nothing special about strippers over and above girls IRL that makes me want them to be my friends. What does being a friend of any hot girl get you anyway, that you don't get from being friends with any other person? Frustration is about all - or maybe being set up with her hot friends. Strippers are for stripping, not for buddies.
People often like to be part of some scene or another and to be "in" or accepted.
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Re: why do customers brag they are 'friends' with dancers?
These guys who brag in reality aren't "friends" but likely obsessed with dancers. I've heard so many customers brag I was their friend but I never was. My experience is the guys who brag aren't friends at all and the ones who are friends don't brag.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Harleigh HellKat
The same reasons people are all like 'ooh I'm FRIENDS with that band/celebrity/insert personality here, we totally hang all the time'.
I had a friend who would talk about being "friends" with this major rock band. She even managed to get a job at the local alternative radio station just so she could see them when they came to town. While she did know them, it was more of a stalkerish behavior. She followed them into their hotel room (or tried) and even spent nights at the hotel. She even dragged me to meet them. In reality I think they were a little bit scared of her, but they had a lot of nutty fans (sadly, mostly women in their 30's) so likely used to this. The lead singer was very rude to us, but she excused his behavior as "that's the way he can get". Looking back maybe he was rude because she was nutty. The other members were cool though, but I refused to get wacko over them. I'd never call myself their '"friend" just because I met them.
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Re: why do customers brag they are 'friends' with dancers?
Lol, do we know the same people? :D
I knew a girl exactly like that!
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Re: why do customers brag they are 'friends' with dancers?
LOL, "kng of the dip-shits"
as the OP must understand by now, we've had probably 1000 posts on 4 different threads in the last 6 months on this exact 'friends of strippers' issue. In the club only "club friends" happens all the time, but as for "real life" friends, i think its mostly bullshit when someone claims it, particfularly when they are being a cheap ass time waster.
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Re: why do customers brag they are 'friends' with dancers?
As far as what gets talked about on the internet...well, who cares, it's just the internet and all off the back and forth can be quite entertaining at times.
Inside the club is a different story. I never, and I mean NEVER talk about any of my on-going relationships with any woman at the club to anyone in the club. In fact, I never talk to any customers at all. It's just bragging and it's BS most of the time.
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Re: why do customers brag they are 'friends' with dancers?
I knew a guy who was a regular at a couple of local SCs for about 13 years before I knew him. He went about three nights a week. It was where he went on drinking nights and SCs was his thing. He knew the management and the dancers all knew him and talked to him.
Friends who went with him got in for free or half price, including me a few times. I sat at his table with a few of his friends one night and won a raffle (prize was an LD) - and this was a busy night so the odds of me winning were small. I figured out that I "won" because I was at his table.
This guy was not a big spender on either drinks or LDs but he did bring others into the club. He was a pretty ordinary guy too. I don't recall him saying he knew any dancers OTC but ITC he was well aquainted with them. It was just that he was always there.
So there was nothing fake or pathetic about this guy.
The closest I came to knowing a stripper OTC was one I lived across the road from and who I saw at one of the clubs a number of times. I'd often see her on the bus and a few times she came over to talk to another guy on my street we both knew. But I didn't think she was hot so it wasn't a thrill for me.
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Re: why do customers brag they are 'friends' with dancers?
One status. Two not every guy is there for the dancing and fantasy of it all. Three some really are friends with dancers.
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Re: why do customers brag they are 'friends' with dancers?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
thatguy6673
My opinion is that being 'real friends' with dancers at a club totally ruins the club experience. I feel it is better to treat the club as a vacation where mysterious women pretend to seduce you in their underwear for
the cash. I'm interested in the opinions of other customers (and entertainers) regarding this issue.
Well, since you asked, I don't happen to agree. I am OTC friends with two current dancer favs and have been with a few others in the past. FWIW, I also have a similar off-the clock type of friendship with an escort or two.
Two mature adults with realistic expectations can do all sorts of things together for an exchange of cash and still be real world friends as well. It is all about trust and that includes not taking advantage of either aspect of the relationship-business or pleasure. I happen to think that the friendship makes the sexual aspects of things better. But that's just me. I don't really need to set up a pretext to enjoy time spent a beautiful woman.
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Re: why do customers brag they are 'friends' with dancers?
most of the guys who thought they were my friends were most certainly not lol.
however, i have three guys that at one time were big spending regulars that are really my friends now. (I'm retired) we actually became friends before i retired but they still spent on me when in the club.
i guess that was a little off topic, i like the OP'S attitude.
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Re: why do customers brag they are 'friends' with dancers?
It depends on the personality of the customer... if they are like Yoda then you could very well have friendship. On the other hand, some people think 'friendship' means they can come hang out at your work for free and don't have to pay for your time anymore.
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Re: why do customers brag they are 'friends' with dancers?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
thatguy6673
My opinion is that being 'real friends' with dancers at a club totally ruins the club experience. I feel it is better to treat the club as a vacation where mysterious women pretend to seduce you in their underwear for
the cash. I'm interested in the opinions of other customers (and entertainers) regarding this issue.
I don't disagree with much of what you wrote. For me, being "real friends" with some of the dancers does ruin the "club experience", which is why the club I visit barely seems a SC to me any more. Of course, I have the option to go elsewhere for a club experience but rarely ever do. The only people I consider "real friends" are those I spend time with IRL (and not for a fee) doing things I would only do with or for friends who are not dancers. Interacting with customers, particularly if they want to discuss dancers, is never a good idea, especially if they are probing for priviledged information on dancers, which they tend to do if they think you have some. As such, I avoid identifying myself in that manner whenever possible.
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Re: why do customers brag they are 'friends' with dancers?
The pathetic guy who needs, and advertises, his friendships with strippers is one extreme. On the other extreme is the OP, who wants a load of fantasy acting and escapism. Personally I like mine somewhere in the middle.
I like to get to know someone a bit before I spend money on her (whatever form that takes). As soon as I hear the "I am the fantasy" line I immediately replace fantasy with nightmare and graciously say no thank you.
However, over the years I have heard prison stories (girl and/or her baby's daddy), sad family tales, problems with abusive husbands and/or boyfriends and a variety of other pathetic and nasty stuff after sitting for just a short while with some girls. Made me wonder which trailer parks these clubs were recruiting from.
Right in the middle works just fine thank you.
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Re: why do customers brag they are 'friends' with dancers?
^^^I hate pity stories. HATE them. I have seen guys overlook my innocent conversation to give all their money to some crackheaded ex-con that has starving kids. Guess what? Her kids wouldn't be starving if she wasn't a crackhead. I think that's the tackiest of the tacky and guys don't come to the strip club to hear about girl's wacky trailer park antics and Jerry Springer drama.
Well, apparently SOME do. ::)
Oh I'm sorry... I don't have any kids, no drug addictions, felonies, or hell even misdemeanors. I actually enjoy my job. I drink moderately and can control my liquor. And my significant other definitely doesn't beat me. But if any of these things were true... I sure as hell wouldn't bring it to work with me. Common sense and customer service training say otherwise.
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Re: why do customers brag they are 'friends' with dancers?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Harleigh HellKat
On the other hand, some people think 'friendship' means they can come hang out at your work for free and don't have to pay for your time anymore.
Sadly this is often the case. Even five minutes of a dancer's time without paying for it is enough for some guys to try and put themselves in the "friend" zone when what is actually happening is they are just helping the dancer kill a little down time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Harleigh HellKat
^^^I hate pity stories. HATE them. I have seen guys overlook my innocent conversation to give all their money to some crackheaded ex-con that has starving kids. Guess what? Her kids wouldn't be starving if she wasn't a crackhead. I think that's the tackiest of the tacky and guys don't come to the strip club to hear about girl's wacky trailer park antics and Jerry Springer drama.
Agreed and these are not the dancers that I have any interest in either spending money on or possible forming a friendship with. Spending money on a dancer ITC and being her friend OTC is only possible if the dancer is not trying to bleed you for cash OTC. I don't think that's possible with the "pity" girls. There are White Knights out there who try to save these girls. I'm not one of them.
By the way, real world friendship, for me at least, never involves paying a dancer for her time outside of the club or an escort for her time when we are not in bed. The line between business and pleasure is pretty clear to me and the women involved in the sex industry that I am friends with other wise it would never work for either party.
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Re: why do customers brag they are 'friends' with dancers?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Harleigh HellKat
On the other hand, some people think 'friendship' means they can come hang out at your work for free and don't have to pay for your time anymore.
Sadly this is often the case. Even five minutes of a dancer's time without paying for it is enough for some guys to try and put themselves in the "friend" zone when what is actually happening is they are just helping the dancer kill a little down time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Harleigh HellKat
^^^I hate pity stories. HATE them. I have seen guys overlook my innocent conversation to give all their money to some crackheaded ex-con that has starving kids. Guess what? Her kids wouldn't be starving if she wasn't a crackhead. I think that's the tackiest of the tacky and guys don't come to the strip club to hear about girl's wacky trailer park antics and Jerry Springer drama.
Agreed and these are not the dancers that I have any interest in either spending money on or possibly forming a friendship with. Spending money on a dancer ITC and being her friend OTC is only possible if the dancer is not trying to bleed you for cash OTC. I don't think that's possible with the "pity" girls. There are White Knights out there who try to save these girls. I'm not one of them.
By the way, real world friendship, for me at least, never involves paying a dancer for her time outside of the club or an escort for her time when we are not in bed. By the same token, I don't show up at a club looking to spend time without paying for it and I don't expect sexual favors from an escort for free no matter how well I know her or for how long. The line between business and pleasure is pretty clear to me and the women involved in the sex industry that I am friends with other wise it would never work for either party.
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Re: why do customers brag they are 'friends' with dancers?
I actually had real world friends from the club back home, but since moving here I don't know anyone to trust that far... not to mention I've changed We would go to breakfast after my shift, along with other dancers and they'd pay for breakfast. That club had that kind of mentality though, just laid back. It was like the Cheers of strip clubs. And the OTC friends never kept me from money, in fact sometimes they would put bugs in my ear about high dollar regulars! :D
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Re: why do customers brag they are 'friends' with dancers?
I've been close friends OTC with several dancers for years. I post about it from time to time on here, but I never, ever discuss those friendships within a venue to anyone I regard as a customer.
A number of other dancers know, occasionally the owners and occasionally the bouncers - but that tends to be unavoidable. In general I just say I'm giving the girl a lift home - true enough - and leave it at that.
Reason for being discrete is simple - most dancers don't want 99.9% of customers to know that they have an OTC friendship with a guy who comes into work to pick them up. Because then the high spending customers whom they told they never allow anyone they've met at work into their personal life will say "you do it with him - why won't you do it with me".
Phil.
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Re: why do customers brag they are 'friends' with dancers?
eh. usually they're completely delusional. rarely they are actually friends. sometimes they're guys the girls party with and who supply girls with free drugs, but who are not actually friends. more like "friends". and as usually goes, they don't really know the girl. she just lets them be around her, provided she's getting something she wants out of it. it's like back in the day when custies would take girls shopping. i wonder if guys back then thought they were friends with the girls, or if they knew what was up.
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Re: why do customers brag they are 'friends' with dancers?
For various reasons, it's true that strippers are more likely than average to be drunks, addicts or just plain jerks. It's also true that being a stripper is a tough job, and a person has to have a certain amount of steel in their backbone to hack it. So it's not so surprising that some people are proud of their real and/or imaginary friendships with strippers. They just have an especially strong admiration for the guts it takes.
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Re: why do customers brag they are 'friends' with dancers?
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Re: why do customers brag they are 'friends' with dancers?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
ilbbaicnl
For various reasons, it's true that strippers are more likely than average to be drunks, addicts or just plain jerks.
Yep, I was always drunk and stoned and a jerk because after all strippers are like that. When I wasn't stripping I was sitting around doing drugs and drinking because I was a stripper. In fact I drank all my money away. I was always a jerk too because after all stripper are jerks always. ::)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
ilbbaicnl
It's also true that being a stripper is a tough job, and a person has to have a certain amount of steel in their backbone to hack it. So it's not so surprising that some people are proud of their real and/or imaginary friendships with strippers. They just have an especially strong admiration for the guts it takes.
Yes it is a very tough job, but I don't think this is why guys pretend to have friendships (or in rare cases do).
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Re: why do customers brag they are 'friends' with dancers?
^That's why I said no comment. Cause my answer would have been something like that haha. And I would have probably said something meaner. :D