Re: The right way and the wrong way to approach a customer
Quote:
Originally Posted by
majordon
Back to the OP's idea of using body language to decide who to sit with, I agree. When someone I want to meet (or already think I like) walks by while I'm sitting at the bar, I'll try to invite her over with my eyes. If it's someone I've previously spoken to at my regular club and I'm not looking to be with her tonight, she knows I'm not just being shy if I act disinterested. If she comes over anyway, she's just being pushy. But I won't use direct rejection if it's not necessary. (I don't like it when I receive it.) I'll give the old "oh I just got here, just looking around". If I were Rick Dugan clubbing coast to coast my time would be more valuable and I wouldn't care what someone thought at this one place, but when I come here a lot, I'd rather spare someone's feeling, stay on good terms...
Not only should you value your own time IMO, but her time as well. If you are not interested, the most considerate thing you can do for all parties is to be direct. Now that doesn't mean that you should be rude, but simply smile, look her in the eyes and say "no thank you." Not only will it save you a lot of heartburn, but she will be able to quickly move on to someone who might spend on her.
Nobody likes rejection, but I promise you that she will resent you a lot more if you burn 20-30 minutes of her time for a non-sale.
And as far as being pushy, she is trying to sell, which is her job. Also, I don't think she is being pushy simply because she misread some funky eye movements, head turning, etc. If you are in a SC and you don't want a girl's company, you need to be man enough to simply say so.
Believe me also when I say that the stripper that you do want will see how you handled yourself with the others and will likely appreciate you more for it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
majordon
...So if she asks to sit for a minute, I say yes even if I am not looking for dances or my budget is already blown. If it turns into more than a couple minutes, I offer to buy her a drink. If it goes on long enough that I see we will be friends, then yes, why not get our first private dances now, and reward her for her initiative?
Same comment as above, and IMHO if your budget is blown then you should not waste her time at all.
Re: The right way and the wrong way to approach a customer
I deplore when guys act like they're interested, only to ask for my number instead of getting a dance. And then there are the ones that act disinterested so I figure "why waste time?" and then he ends up telling staff or another dancer at the end of the night that he was interested in me. This job takes a lot of confidence- the least you guys can do is have enough to clearly say "yes" or "no". And thank you sooooo much to the guys that do.
As for the "go away" tipping, I think it depends on the situation. Some dancers get pissy when they're told no, and they don't deserve tips because of that fact. Myself, I smile a little brighter (because, dude, you just saved me a lot of time and frustration with one word) and say something along the lines of "Well, that's alright. I hope you have a good evening with a girl that's more your type." It's polite, and I see mentioning a different girl as an opening to help the both of us. If he bites that bait and offers me a tip along with a little hint as to what that type is, I'll try to direct a girl that I think fits the bill his way. If he doesn't tip though, I just carry on about my business and might mention something to another girl if one of them seems to need help finding the right customer.
Re: The right way and the wrong way to approach a customer
I know how much I have in my pcket and usually who (or at least the type) I like to spend it on. So I have no problem simply saying, "No thanks" and getting back to business of watching the show. Seems to be the best combination of quick. polite and direct.
Re: The right way and the wrong way to approach a customer
The problem with body language is that you assume everybody speaks it! They don't! Just like not everyone speaks English. Or Chinese. Or Yiddish. So don't rely on it exclusively! Communicate with words! And as Rick has pointed out, be honest and to the point. That is good for both you and the dancer!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
majordon
If it turns into more than a couple minutes, I offer to buy her a drink. If it goes on long enough that I see we will be friends, then yes, why not get our first private dances now, and reward her for her initiative?
I am sure you mean well, but this reads to me as a bit condescending. Why not buy a dancer a drink for stopping by first, then talk and get to know whether or not there is a dance in the future? Buying a drink for a dancer first is a social thing to do. Buying her a drink after a "couple of minutes" is like rewarding a dog for sitting pretty. I can't imagine tying up minutes of a dancer's time and her not getting at least something out of the time she spent.
It also strikes me as being overly possessive that you would only buy private dances if you feel you could be friends with the dancer. Is it not possible to enjoy a private dance with someone you just like to look at, without having to have the emotional baggage of friendship? I have my favourite dancer and I think both her and I would say we are friends, but that doesn't prevent me buying private dances from other girls
Re: The right way and the wrong way to approach a customer
I must disagree about body language, it's not a foreign language to anyone! 8) We all get it innately to some extent, but if you want to succeed as a stripper you need to be good at it. But communicating in English is also good once you get close enough to the other person. With words you can be more specific.
But I will never, ever, as long as strip clubs exist, tell a girl who sits down beside me, to immediately go away because she's not my type / I don't want dances / from her / tonight / whatever. I'm sorry if I end up wasting a bit of her precious time, but I come to SCs to meet girls 1/2 my age who would never spend time with me in an ordinary bar. It's so great that I do want to reward them, and have LDs as often as I can, but I can't help everyone every time. (But maybe next time :D )
As for the idea of buying a drink when she 1st sits down: that is even worse than the tip to go away. Because she's not going away while it lasts, no matter how the conv. goes Before I offer a drink, let's see if we click in he 1st 2 minutes; if not she can at least ask for a dance, I can say yes, no, or maybe later if I really think that. But if she has a drink from the 1st, she may think it means it's a done deal, and hang with me longer than she should, while we both could be looking for our next prospect.
Re: The right way and the wrong way to approach a customer
Quote:
Originally Posted by
majordon
I must disagree about body language, it's not a foreign language to anyone! 8) We all get it innately to some extent, but if you want to succeed as a stripper you need to be good at it. But communicating in English is also good once you get close enough to the other person. With words you can be more specific.
But I will never, ever, as long as strip clubs exist, tell a girl who sits down beside me, to immediately go away because she's not my type / I don't want dances / from her / tonight / whatever. I'm sorry if I end up wasting a bit of her precious time, but I come to SCs to meet girls 1/2 my age who would never spend time with me in an ordinary bar. It's so great that I do want to reward them, and have LDs as often as I can, but I can't help everyone every time. (But maybe next time :D )
As for the idea of buying a drink when she 1st sits down: that is even worse than the tip to go away. Because she's not going away while it lasts, no matter how the conv. goes Before I offer a drink, let's see if we click in he 1st 2 minutes; if not she can at least ask for a dance, I can say yes, no, or maybe later if I really think that. But if she has a drink from the 1st, she may think it means it's a done deal, and hang with me longer than she should, while we both could be looking for our next prospect.
If you are not willing to say to a dancer, "Sorry but I am waiting for someone else. I really don't want to waste your time, but thank you for coming over," then you can't complain about girls coming over. Sure, I think some dancers could be a bit better at reading people. The fact is, there are some customers who act aloof or don't seem to "like" you, even if they do like you. I've had this happen many times.
There are some guys who buy at least one dance from anyone who sits down with them. Dancers KNOW this. Any true hustler will probably not be swayed by your "go away" body language. We (dancers) have and will continue to make money off of guys with the same body language. Grow some balls and say no thank you. Its really not that difficult.
Re: The right way and the wrong way to approach a customer
Wow, I haven't been slammed this hard since I went to that "Lost" convention and said "Is this show pretty pointless or what??!"
-- gotta go and grow some balls.
Re: The right way and the wrong way to approach a customer
Maybe I will change my M.O. as a result of this.
No, I will not tell a new girl not to sit with me when she comes by (unless I really am expecting someone else). I'm not complaining about that. Favorites come and go, to new clubs and new jobs, and if you don't try to make a new acquaintance on each visit, one day you walk into your usual club and don't see a friendly face. But if, after a couple minutes, I don't feel I will be doing anything with her that night, I will politely but firmly tell her so, and that I don't want to waste her time and she should move on.
If she acts peeved by that - I will just tell her that's how it's done, according to the experts. She can check out StripperWeb herself if she doesn't believe me. ;)
Re: The right way and the wrong way to approach a customer
Just yesterday, stopped into my fave SC and there were maybe 10 customers and 15 girls in the place. I didn't even have my change when a girl comes over, sits down and starts talking to me. I get my change turn to watch the show and tell her I am not interested, very politely but direct. She stayed and pouted, so I went back and forth to the stage to tip several girls....and she still hung around....and three girls I wanted to meet came by for a tip after dancing and passed when they saw pouty puss sitting there.
Finally she had to dance and I spent all my money avoiding her in the CR with the three I liked.
Re: The right way and the wrong way to approach a customer
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Fred Thomas
Wow, I haven't been slammed this hard since I went to that "Lost" convention and said "Is this show pretty pointless or what??!"
-- gotta go and grow some balls.
Now in all fairness to the Fred Thomas type, who I am not convinced is not a troll, it is easy for for those of us who have done this for a while to jump on a guy like that, but in all honesty I think that many of us were like him at some point and time.
I have been doing this for about 15 years, but was I as direct and confident in years 1 or 2 as I am today? Of course not. Experience and money have all increased dramatically for me since then. Hell, in my late 20s I think I even had a brief phase where White Knight Syndrome kicked in - lmao.
Now I walk into a club like I own the joint, and magical things often await (or at leat fun times), but back in the day I was as green as anyone and had the same questions that a Fred Thomas type has.
Re: The right way and the wrong way to approach a customer
forgot to mention the other reason some guys may seem disinterested even when willing to spend (and why some girls are sometimes rather oblivious to disinterest)...drugs!!!!!!
i've seen so many guys come into the club shitfaced, then proceed to the champagne room with the first girl who came over to them. usually young guys, but older guys too. and these were usually clean dancers.
i wish i were better at knowing when people are high. i guess that's the big downside of not doing drugs myself. it's hard to tell.
Re: The right way and the wrong way to approach a customer
Quote:
Originally Posted by
jbviper4
Just yesterday, stopped into my fave SC and there were maybe 10 customers and 15 girls in the place. I didn't even have my change when a girl comes over, sits down and starts talking to me. I get my change turn to watch the show and tell her I am not interested, very politely but direct. She stayed and pouted, so I went back and forth to the stage to tip several girls....and she still hung around....and three girls I wanted to meet came by for a tip after dancing and passed when they saw pouty puss sitting there.
Finally she had to dance and I spent all my money avoiding her in the CR with the three I liked.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr, anchors. I HATE them. And yes, when they just won't leave, its really awkward to be mean to them. But you have to be. OR, you can ask your waitress or the manager to ask her to go if you don't want to do it.
So sure, its not that tough or rude to politely tell a girl approaching that you aren't interested, but I hate to be an asshole, and removing an anchor is tricky.
Also, I've had guys come and find me when they are stuck with an anchor, and pay me to go jump in his buddy's lap, while the anchor sits there. You would think this works, but I've had them actually STAY there and just give me stink eye, huffing and puffing, while I danced.
Some people are just really, really dense and have no business being in a sales job.
Re: The right way and the wrong way to approach a customer
To the OP:
Looking away can mean other things besides disinterest. The customer might like the girl but be unwilling to have a LD - in which case she might be able to persuade him. He might be shy, trying not to look eager, trying to be cool, aloof or nonchalant. Maybe he is just in a bad mood. If she just walks by assuming he is really not interested, then he may think she can't be bothered paying attention to him or putting in effort - and assume she will treat him the same way in a LD.
Strippers are in business so they will want to make a good attempt with all the customers.
Re: The right way and the wrong way to approach a customer
Haha KS, I call them "campers". They just pitch a tent next to the custie who quite obviously does NOT want them. LOL.
Re: The right way and the wrong way to approach a customer
Lol... I call them Dreamgirls... "And I am telling you..... I'm not going!!"" Im not leaving without ya, not leaving without ya, and you, you're gonna LOVE me!"
Re: The right way and the wrong way to approach a customer
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Fred Thomas
Wow, I haven't been slammed this hard since I went to that "Lost" convention and said "Is this show pretty pointless or what??!"
-- gotta go and grow some balls.
Hey Fred, hilarious comment, but don't be so hard on yourself. I think it's just that this thread topic has been recycled on this site more times than "Does she really like me". I agree with everyone that has said to just give her a nice smile and say no thanks. There is no shame in waiting for what you want, and nothing rude about saying no thanks.
I do have a problem with the campers, especially those that plop down in your lap uninvited. All you can do is thank them for stopping to talk to you, but that you're not interested in dances with them and hope they take the hint.
A few months ago, I was finally able to visit the infamous Spearmint Rhino in Vegas, and the campers were my only complaint. This place is THE definition of a target rich environment and immediately on sitting down I started spotting future VIP dancers. Unfortunately, campers I didn't want kept dropping into my lap, and those I was interested in would walk by at that exact moment, blowing my opportunity, which in that club might be once all night. The only way I was able to break this pattern was to stand for awhile and walk up to the dancers I was interested in. THEN my evening improved dramatically. ;D