What's the issue between insta-dommes and RL dommes?
Im not tryna be funny here either...This is something I really want to understand.
Do we really care? Is it messing up the game? Your advice to Insta-Dommes?
proceed....
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What's the issue between insta-dommes and RL dommes?
Im not tryna be funny here either...This is something I really want to understand.
Do we really care? Is it messing up the game? Your advice to Insta-Dommes?
proceed....
oh god. I foresee a very passionate discussion. :)
I think a big difference is the fact that most guys who go to insta-dommes have no clue about what a true D/s relationship entails. They don't understand the rules, the protocol, the lifestyle, etc. The guys who dabble in the insta-domme realm are fascinated by the idea, but in most cases could not handle a real-life D/s relationship. I say for us ladies who are in the adult world we should recognize where each guy is coming from and try to tailor our sessions according to the guys level of experience and frame of reference.
I roleplay domme but I'll never claim to be a RL domme. I've tried it and it wasn't for me. I'm not going to start anything but DAMN THERE ARE SO MANY FAKE / WANNABE Dommes online it's f'ing ridiculous!
Hey Malaya! Word!!!! There are so many fake subs online too!!!
Girl, I know. I'm back. I'll PM you when I get a chance I wanted to ask you a quick question...
Malaya,
I just sent you a PM!;D
Being a real domme takes more time, energy, and commitment. I think it's something you have to have a passion for.
Exactly! hehe.
Nearly all the "subs" to me seem to not really be that submissive. They just want to play the part and want me to perform like a puppet and serve their particular fetish.
I'm pretty dominant in real life but to me when they are paying it really has nothing to do with a true dominant/submissive relationship or anything in common with real life situations at all.
It's a fantasy they are paying me to create. I find it quite fun and it's something that you can usually charge a bit more for which definitely sweetens the the deal.
Hehehe bring it on Ladies, I almost choked on my lunch when I saw this thread. Thanks PP!
I have written this essay (made up as I go along) for everyone to read and enjoy...
"Why Those Insta-Domme Bitches Have Gots Ta Go!"
or
"Lieing Bitch You Betta Run Before I find My Paddle..."
By Mistress Arialandre DeLaunay
The very nature of BDSM is that of trust. A Dom/me's trust in their sub/slave, a sub/slaves trust in their Dom/me. And each parties trust in themselves. There are many different factions and groups of thought and training in BDSM as well. Some are more informal while others are so formal they would rival that of the King's court in the middle ages. It takes time to reasearch, learn and choose what path you are going to take. What fits with you and how you will represent yourself. Something as simple as where or not you capitalize the dominant pronouns can tell a lot about a person.
There are things like Sub Space and Top Space that you need to know and understand. The mind can be a fragile thing You cant go around calling every sub you meet a cheap slut in a session whether it is OL or Rl because what if they were molested when they were younger and that's what their uncle whispered in their ear. You have now taken something that was supposed to be a safe refuge for expression and sent them back inwards to their own personal hell.
Insta-Dommes, online or in real-life(or real-time) don't understand this. It's not just about a little tie-me-up tie-me-down. You hold people's minds and bodies in your hand and you need to understand and respect that. You can do so much damage when all you are thinking about is collecting their money.
Also most online insta-dommes are just in it for financial domination. They don't realize that fin-dom usually goes hand in and with other fetishes, chastity, humiliation, sissification. Because so many of them no NOTHING about BDSM they cheat these subs out of a really amazing fetish. A good Domme, understands these things. A great Domme can take her subs/slaves out of time and space even if only for a few minutes.
I have a pet that will drive 4 hours to my city just to do my dishes and take me on a picnic. THAT is the type of power a true Domme holds. He is not paying me, I'm not his pro-domme, he is my real life pet, a domestic slave, no just a sub.
Insta-dommes cheapen it for everybody. They scam and ruin the experience and make it super hard for real Dommes online, real-time, financial, or otherwise to find true TRUSTING subs. Because so many of these subs have been scammed time and time again by lieing money hungry bitches. And believe me, if I were to ever meet one of the lie ladies that hurt my pets in the past, they would find out REAL fast the diffence between a fake domme and a real one.
Fin.
Mistress Arialandre do you have a blog? Man I can read what you write all day, even if it was about gummy bears...
your writing style amuses me to no end.
Shhhhhh!!!!!!! Gummy bears are like the secret weapon into my heart, you can't just be throwing those words around cause man those little buggers are delicious!
But thank you hunny! I keep starting blogs and stopping them. I have a blog on myfinancialdommespace.com but I am pretty half assed about it. I put a new potencial sub under consideration yesterday and he has offered to create my own website for me, woot woot! Free website bitches! So I will definately have one on there. You flatterer you!
Woot! I'm subscribing to this thread.
I think the difference is... real Dommes enjoy what they do on a level deeper than insta-dommes would. insta-dommes are like 'Hey! Money!' and real Dommes actually get into it.
While I think that every woman possesses the ability to be Dominant, not every woman is cut out to be a pro-Domme. I don't think you should jump into it as a cash scam.
Oh, and speaking of fake subs.... I'm having a difficult time with one right now. I think it's just due to his lack of experience mainly. But seriously, I've told him TWICE that I expect tribute from new subs AND I told him to enroll in FDS university... which he has, but he hasn't completed any sections yet. GRRRR. Better to punish or ignore?
insta dommes- want instant gratification. they want the money now and thats it.. no education on the subjects or the mental fortitude it takes to be a domme. they only want to do it when their pissed of in which thats the worse time to do it...they like to use the cover as "domme" to do their prostitution work..which makes it hard for the real dommes that never have and never will offer any type of sexual service or have the sub touch them in that way...yet u get the dudes/subs that want to lick u here and insert perverted sex act because the last "domme" let em do it...
lost my trail of thought...will re edit when it comes back...it is like 2am cst lol my minds all over the place
I know whatcha mean... I am like yawn city over here.
I am the type of person who believes, to each their own. BOTTOM LINE: a SUB can tell the difference between a REAL domme and insta domme. As for comparing online domination to real time domination, it cannot be done. Both worlds have insta dommes.
Most online insta dommes are camgirls who got sick and tired of being camgirls. They get into domming because they can be in charge, and set their own limits, but they really have no life experience with the BDSM world or lifestyle, so they often fail and have a reputation of being a FAKE and Insta domme because their clients feel ripped off, and rightfully so.
Unfortunately online there are many "subs/slaves" who do not understand the fundamentals as well. Would we refer to those as fakes and insta slaves or hate on them for wanting to experiment? NO IMHO, they are merely experimenting and roleplaying.
I am a cyber domme, and I am experienced in fetish modeling, domination, etc. Though I have never been paid for my services in a dungeon, I fully understand the fundamentals. People could call me an insta domme for this purpose and hate on me as well, because I have never worked in a house of domination, but merely for fun. I do online domination sessions only and the lines are blurred. A good percentage of guys who come to visit me do not have any background in BDSM. I am pretty sure in a dungeon this would be the opposite, maybe youd have an occasional fake slave coming in to solicit you.
^ I shouldnt have said "People could call me an insta domme for this purpose and hate on me as well, because I have never worked in a house of domination, but merely for fun" because It is not just fun and games for me, I take my Domination activities and my subs for pay or play very seriously!
Oh hey I completely agree. Online does NOT equal "insta". I do MOST of my domination online but thats because the community where I live is so small.
Ok side note though cause I'm SO EFFING EXCITED! A SUB JUST BOUGHT ME THE TITANIUM X-PERT X-POLE!!!!!!!! It gets here Friday! He's not even MY sub, but a sub friend who felt like spoiling me cause I'm so freakin awesome!
See and THAT'S what insta-dommes miss out on. $300 stripper poles just cause you're cool and they want to show their appreciation.
Wooo!!! I have that on my wishlist as well! I want to take a room in the house we are getting and turn it into a dungeon/webcam studio/photo studio.
Oh here's a good tip. Don't put anything cheap on your wishlist. They will definitely get the cheap stuff first, lol. I thought maybe I could get away with it and they'd think to put things together and buy multiple small things... but no. I can't complain too much, for the most part I have good subbies.
My Wishlist is basically Pleaser/Domina shoes and, ok well the stripper pole is coming off of it now...so yeah mostly shoes. Oh and I think some diamond jewellery. I may throw some egyptian cotton sheet sets on there. Oh yeah I'm a TOTAL diva Domme. Not in a bad screechy way, I mean all my subs know that I require, tributes and gift, I don't cuss at them, I actually hardly ever raise my voice. I'm really quite soft and gracefull. It in turn makes it just that much scarier when they mess up so badly that I raies my voice *snicker*. My favorite corset is actually velvet not leather. Good times.
I think I'm in the same Domme boat as you. I don't yell. It's unlady-like. :D I like to be softly sadistic if that makes sense. Like I'll have a girly little laugh going as I'm pulling clothespins off your balls, hehe. I tell people what to do in a seductive way, not in a drill sergeant way!
My wishlist is mainly floggers and restraints, although there are several pairs of heels and boots, the stripper pole, leather corsets, and OPI nail/pedicure stuff.