Oh by the way, I did my interview last night for the Society! And OH SHIT! I'm a Goddess on here! I just noticed!!
Printable View
Oh by the way, I did my interview last night for the Society! And OH SHIT! I'm a Goddess on here! I just noticed!!
Oh yeah, my wishlist is about to get seriously gear oriented since I'm going pro,lol.
This is a good topic... Its more like whats the issue with insta-dommes, online dommes, and real time dommes.
Insta-dommes come into the game just for cash and they don't take the time to understand fetish/domination. Its one thing to roleplay during camshows but its another to claim that your a domme. Guys can tell if a domme is fake or not and the fake dommes don't usually last long. Some of these girls are so hard up for cash that they find established online dommes and steal there style, subs, website layout/content, and clip ideas.
When I first started online domination I was under the misconception that the bratty princess image was the only way to do domination and I honestly thought that camgirls couldn't be dommes. I thought that you had to be demanding, controlling, bitchy, and mean in order to be a domme. I tried doing the bratty/princess style for a while but I had to stop the shyt because it wasn't me. I really had to take the time to disregard all the misconception that the online scene holds. I realized that I'm more of a seductress then a domme. I like using the power of seduction to dominate all types of men.
I think the girls who decide to do online domination need to take the time to understand fetish and domination. They need to take the time to create there own style instead of doing what all these online dommes are doing. Its easy to go along with what everybody else is doing but it takes a real dominant person to step out and do there own thing.
It seems like alot of real time dommes think that online dommes are fake because they haven't trained in a dungeon and dealt with slaves in real life. I see alot of online dommes trying to prove there dominance and I see alot of real time dommes acting like there superior. Ppl just need to learn how to do them and forget about everyone else.
There's always going to be girls who come into the game to make a quick buck whether its webcamming, domination, stripping, etc. Ladies just needs to learn how to respect other chicks hustle and territory. I think dommes and subs need to learn that having a fetish doesn't equal submission. I've gotten a couple of guys who claim that there submissive but they end up being fetishist. I hate being demanded, commanded, or ordered to do anything.. so fetishist/switchs don't rock with me.
On webcam I get a couple of guys who think that domination includes me being sexual towards them. There's nothing wrong with that but I treat domination like real time sessions. I know that I won't be sucking or fucking anyone in a real time session so I don't even bother to play to that fantasy. I know webcam is all about fantasy but I find it impossible to do something on cam if I don't do in real life.
All and all I think everyone needs to take the time to understand themselves and what fetish/domination is truly about.
Holy shit Harleigh you're a Goddess!!!
^^ Also totally word! That was pretty much perfect.
** Side note, I just locked a sub into a chastity belt and then fucking forgot the combination... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH shit I hope he wrote it down somewhere cauuuuuuuse. I just straight up party FOULED!
*** Ok well it's not reallly the combination it's really the number to prove they dont touch anything, but still it was really funny. Anyway I have the number now so it's all good.
**** Ohhhhh, I just got a sub sponsored free trip to Vegas! Any Vegas ladies in the house??? I'll probably go in September, anyone wanna meet up?
***** Ummmm why am I using this thread as my update central? Christ is this what twitter is like??? This shit is addictive...
*picks up purse* *pulls out and throws 2 cents*
I really think this entire thread boils down to the usual, age old lifestyle vs. pro/ or wannbe pro domme issue. that is all
are you ladies using amazon wishlists? if so, what worries me is, it shows your actual state and city..... any way around this?
As long as it only shows state and city. It's fine by me. You can also request gift cards like Victoria's Secret to be sent to your email. I don't know if stockroom.com is more private or not, but I use that.
I received a small tribute today, just a little one but it's something I've wanted for a while... A pinwheel! :D
Was just considering whether I'm an 'insta-domme' or not. The problem I have is, I never ever ever advertise doing Domme shows, cos that's not where I'm at. I do the general play on cam prance about, strip, play type shows. BUT, when a guy comes into my private chat and says 'can you be dominant', I will ask him what he's into and if it fits with me I will do it. For example, I will laugh at tiny cocks, and I will make a guy use clamps and toys and (other stuff that I'm not gonna say). When I worked in a 'massage parlour' I also worked a couple of days a week in their special dungeon which was pretty well equiped (the normal paddles and chains and stocks etc but also a sensory deprivation cell and electrocution equipment). I used to enjoy doing lots of domme stuff with guys who used to see me regularly week in week out. However, I am not at all a Domme. I can play the role of the Domme for paying clients.
So, the problem -
if a guy asks me to do stuff that I'm comfortable with but which involves domination will I do it, probably yes
but then, I am likely to be damaging to that guy in all the ways listed above - eg not fully understanding the mentality of the sub/dom relationship and allowing clients to be more lax about the sub role
I suppose ultimately my question is:
I don't advertise doing domme, so if the guy comes into my (obviously vanilla) room and asks me to, is it my fault or his???
I will never claim to be a lifestyle domme. Alot of ladies that claim to be a lifestyle domme... are lying! I will roleplay domme in a minute. Fuck what other say. I'm going where the money's at!
^ I hear ya!
Do whatever pays the bills.. that's my take on it. I'll role play domme any day and no one should feel bad for doing their job(what the customer asks for) It's silly! :)
I'm not sure if ppg is talking about webcam girls doing fetish shows or webcam girls branching out creating there own website and calling them self domme's....
But here's my take on what your saying...
Its neither your fault or his... as webcam models we play to different fantasies. Alot of quote on quote submissive's/fetishist just want to bask in there fetish and like Arialandre said they have no idea what a sub/domme relationship initials (I doubt that the even want to know). There's nothing wrong with playing to there little fantasy as long as your comfortable with it.....he gets what he wants and you get paid.
I had the hardest time doing fetish/finding my domme style because I was so concerned with what other ppl were saying about camgirl being dommes. Alot of ppl think that camgirl are submissive and can't be dominant.... which is total bs lol. Like I said in a previous post I had to disregard ppl's judgment in order to enjoy/get into domination.
Most of the camgirl I know of are more confident and secure with there sexually then most domme's. Its funny to me how alot of domme's say there female supremacist yet they go call camgirl, pornstar, etc.. whores.
My point is do you.... as long as you truly enjoy what your doing ...keep doing fetish cam shows. You should always do research on popular niche in webcam like sub/dom relationship, fetish's, etc.... so that you understand these guys mind and then you can fuck up there heads even more.
A camgirl can do fetish shows sure but if you have never studied bdsm, are in no way a part of the community and only do it for quick cash on a pay per minute basis you should not go around calling yourself a Domme. Being a Domme, Domina or Dominatrix is a specific title that is earned not just something you call yourself becaus you think it's kinda cool. Or because one in 50 cam shows you do you flick a cute little whip around and strip. That's like the antithesis of being a Domme.
I'm not just talking out of my ass here, I am a camgirl, a lifestyle Domina and a pro-Domme. So because I am on all sides of this argument I am not biased towards a specific side.
Yerp, I def feel and agree with what Arialandre is saying...
Another little thing I would like to add is its very important to take the time to create/find your own style. I see so many girls comming on the scene with I'm a princess, I've always been dominant, In high school I use to blah blah blah to guys..... your a loser... f**k u.... like I said I tried that style so I'm not 100% innocent but I have taken the time to find/create my own style. I'm just saying don't be a carbon copy of all these other online ladies take the time to find your own style and just be yourself.
Exactly. I am actually not a big fan of "Princesses" and I never say "f*ck you, pay me pig" etc. It really does make me wonder if they actually know anything about bdsm, or just going with, I like getting stuff and being an entiled bitch so I'm going to be a domme and get people to give me things.
Oh this topic is so relevant to my interests!
When I started camming it was completely out of character for me & I'd never done anything like that before. That said I've always been very dominant in my personal relationships even though I wasn't part of the lifestyle bdsm scene.
Then as time went by I realized that I enjoyed fetish & domination cam shows MUCH more than the cutesy GFE cam shows or sex kitten shows. Part of this is because of my background in psychology. But it also just fits my personality more.
I checked out the online Domme scene and so many of the Dommes totally rock it & I respect them for that. The financial domme scene isn't really my style, so I quickly realized that I needed to figure out how to express my personality. Yes there is an element of performance in this kind of work, but it lacks authenticity over the long term if you are acting all the time & not feeling comfortable with it. So that is the only time I would say the term 'insta-domme' term is useful. We should be enjoying the work we do. If we are just going through the motions then we should find something else that fits us better.
Anyway, I'm a bit of a perfectionist so I decided that I wanted to be trained by a ProDomme and start doing in person sessions. I really lucked out and found a mentor who has 25 years experience and a background in psychology like me. So we totally geek out about psychology theory and then go on to a CBT session. It is fantastic!
There are so many different types of Domme personalities so you don't have to feel limited to a specific type. I'm more into Goddess worship, the power exchange that happens in the session between the Domme & sub, and fetishes. I'm also quite nurturing because I feel that a bdsm session is often cathartic for the sub and want to provide that space for them to have that release (usually not sexual).
I'm really looking forward to only doing femdom & fetish content online. At the moment I still do softcore teasing and try and frame it under Goddess worship which you totally can. But so many guys just don't get it and start making inappropriate comments that make me feel uncomfortable even though I correct them on cam.
The thing is you really have to be there for your sub/fetish clientele. It is easy to log on & do a sexy striptease with dirty talk a few times a week. But the subs and fetish boys need to build that connection with you because their kink is psychological.
Unfortunately my living situation has made it difficult to keep a regular cam schedule because my apartment is being renovated. So I often just log on and do the softcore teasing shows even though they bore the hell out of me.
I'm hoping to transition to only fetish & femdom cam sessions in the next few weeks once I can keep a regular cam schedule of 4 - 5 hours a day.
The amount of money you can earn on cam is MUCH easier than what you can earn from paysites, content sales. So I will focus on that for now and it promotes my other work anyway.
But I think it is also important to mention that some of the 'big players' in the online Domme scene will say certain things about other models that are derogatory as part of their role play. For example, they might say 'oh I would never show my tits off like a cam whore'. But if you speak to them personally they don't have a problem with it at all. They are just setting up these boundaries with their subs so everything they say has to be seen within the context of a session even if it is on twitter.
By insta-Domme do y'all mean all pro Dommes? Or just the ones who think "hey, I can yell at a guy and he'll pay me money. Score!" without actually knowing what D/s relationships are like.
I've met a couple awesome ladies who do work as a pro Domme, and I think the reason why they're able to do a good job as a pro is because they're a Domme in their private life as well, and they have their own subs/slave. But I've also met the second category and I have no clue how they think they're capable of topping a man for money when they know nothing about it.
Being an "insta-domme" has nothing really to do with being a "pro-domme". Insta is short for "instant". You wake up one morning see a picture on the internet and say "Cool I'm a Domme now!" Most insta-dommes come into the game for the money knowing nothing about the psychology and technicalities or different protocols involved in BDSM.
These girls also don't reallize that most financial domination goes hand in hand with other fetishes. So you would have a sub that say, you put through sissification sessions and he also tributes or tithes you on a regular basis, because he is your property and so his money is already your money.
I do NOT agree with the Lifstyle/Pro-domme/Online-domme/Financial-domme aka Eastcoast/Westcoast/Dirtysouth domination battle, it's such bullshit. And would make for some serious self hate on my part as I am all of the above, I do online and real-time sessions, financial domination, pro-domination, lifestyle domina. I am, basically, the shit. I believe that so long as you study BDSM and actually no what you're talking about it doesn't matter where you practice it, they are all equally valid with different pros and cons. I just hate people talking out of their asses on ANY subject.
And i asked that question for the same answers you guys have given me. I thought i bring this topic to the light... you dont know how many people tell me they are gonna do it because it sounds easy as hell.
NOPE.
when im alone i study fetishes. I study the psychology... my style is not the same as "everybody elses" it will NEVER be. my type of domination brings MY type of boys to the yard. pathetic little weaklings who need guidance. I am a bitch (bitch does NOT equal DOM by the way but that is my style all day everyday). NO CURSING. NO YELLING. also I am not a "goddess". I only dom on fetishes IM interested in and understand.....
I also asked because honestly im a SWITCH and I have no clue why thats SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO badto people. GET OVER IT. Im just so DOMINATE period... that sometimes I need to be submissive (camming) to be turned on. I dont understand why people dont get it.
I just felt like I was explaining myself. To the whole freakin world who loooks down upon pro-doms and switches.
bye.
Hey I don't thing being a switch is bad, it just is what it is. People are who they are. I hate domming stwitches though cause they are more likely to top from the bottom and thats my biggest pet peeve. So to me that's just a personal preference due to my personality type but I in NO way look down on it.
I don't understand the stigma against switches either. I guess it's like the stigma against bisexuals, people expect them to pick sides or something. My ex-Domme was a switch, she was dominant to me but submissive to her boyfriend. Never caused a problem for me. I'm not a switch, I'm a sub but I'm also both a sadist and masochist, that tends to get a weird look.