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White Knight or Sugar Daddy
I went to lunch yesterday with one of my Dancer friends who got an offer to be a personal assistant from one of her customers. Read everything before commenting because my first reaction was no way.
She met the custy last year ITC. He is above average in looks and a gentleman according to her. WHen I danced with her I remember seeing him once and he looked good to me. He's 42 years old recent divorce this year, business owner / entreprenuar with lots of money. He comes in every other month for about 3 hours and gets 8 dances in non vip and doesn't tip. Hands off and a gentleman. He's asked her out a couple of times and she's never gone out with him OTC.
The day after he see's her he always sends her a gift via text. A full day at the spa, Yoga Membership, Fitness club membership, Massages with her favorite perfume given at the end. He let her use his beach house for a girls weekend which I enjoyed. The guy is unbelievable thoughtful and romantic. She used his Ski house and he left VISA cards for her and friends so they had no costs for the weekend.
He was in last week and offered her a job as his personal assistant, he has one now and she's leaving at the end of the month. She would get paid $3,000 a week plus $300.00 for personal expenses and company car's Convertable for summer and X5 for winter with gas paid for. He would also pay for the renovation on her house. Her job would be take care of all his travel arrangements, coordinate renovations and interior design in his 3 homes. Have dinner 1-2 nights a week with him and travel 3-5 weeks a year. Hostess his parties and basically be his arm candy. He said no sex involved but if a relationship evolved he would have no problem with it.
She actually likes the guy and was hoping she would ask her out again but he stopped and told her she turned him down three times and she set up there relationship as business relationship so he's just bringing it to a new level.
He requires of her to quit Dancing, No BF for the first year and she's single right now, she's seperated from her husband for 5 years but has never finalized her divorce and he requires that she finalizes her divorce.
She has no kids and owns a house with mortgage payment. She banks between 2,000 and 3,000 a week now but works alot and has been dancing for 6 years, she's 32 years old.
I told her it was an oppertunity of a lifetime and to go for it after hearing all the details.
What you think ? what does she have to watch out for ?
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Re: White Knight or Sugar Daddy
LOL @ he requires no sex but no bf for the first year... ummm why not?
Good luck to her.
I've had sugar daddies before and they never required sex or that I drop my bf.
I just wouldn't quit my job for something like this...
I dunno I guess because I can afford a lot of what he's offering myself.
Sure the convertible and ski house would be nice if my name was on em.. but eh
Just for temp hummm..
It sounds like a typical sugar daddy arrangement. A lot of women would go for this, I wouldn't.
The no bf and quit job thing.. nope not for me.
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Re: White Knight or Sugar Daddy
I say go for it... shes only dancing now its not like she cant go back to dancing if it doesnt work out. As long as shes making more than dancing (which sounds like she will be)... do it. I can't see it lasting that long so might as well milk it for all its worth.
Unfortunately I cant help on what to look out for cause never done the sugar daddy thing. But I would say make sure she always has enough money to leave the arrangement and is not tied down to him.
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Re: White Knight or Sugar Daddy
Ya tell her to keep her own bank accounts and information about them personal, because you never know. Save the money and be careful, that's all.
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Re: White Knight or Sugar Daddy
I wouldn't do it... especially not with a mortgage! If he didn't say that I had to quit dancing, then I would consider it. Personally, I've seen things like this go bad. I've seen women lose their homes because they put too much trust into a man. This is one of those times that I think she needs to be selfish & say "You are asking me to trust you 100% & I can't do that".
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Re: White Knight or Sugar Daddy
Yeah I don't see why she has to quite dancing either. She could be his personal assistant during the day/week and dance on weekends. She should negotiate this more.
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Re: White Knight or Sugar Daddy
If this guy is being geniune and really wants her just to be his pa he would have no problem with her dancing, she should talk to him about the extact contract before doing this, cos somehow he seems like he wants to control her no stripping or boyfriends etc, tell your friend to be careful.
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Re: White Knight or Sugar Daddy
If she's already making $2000 to $3000 a week. Then it doesn't sound that great. But, if she's ready to move on from dancing. It might be a good opportunity. I have seen girls fall for this. And, they usually end up regretting it.
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Re: White Knight or Sugar Daddy
Quote:
Originally Posted by
chanzep
If this guy is being geniune and really wants her just to be his pa he would have no problem with her dancing, she should talk to him about the extact contract before doing this, cos somehow he seems like he wants to control her no stripping or boyfriends etc, tell your friend to be careful.
Exactly.
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Re: White Knight or Sugar Daddy
im going to say white night but generous white night. and if she is not a fan of dancing and wants out, well, 3k a week is good. certainly enough that she can save up. and she can probably sneak out once in a while to travel to dance.
would i take it? no probably not. unless i was in an area where i didnt like dancing but i liked living in. then i would :).
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Re: White Knight or Sugar Daddy
It sounds like a good opportunity. Especially given the fact that personal assistant looks better on a resume than dancer (I know, nobody would put dancer) and she is close to her expiration date as dancer anyways. I think it's a great way for her to transition into the real world. Definitely save a lot, these "PA" arrangements are actually pretty common in the SD world.
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Re: White Knight or Sugar Daddy
True that about stripping age. I know women that dance well into their 40s... but the more cushion she has when she leaves the better. Also, PA would be good for a resume.
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Re: White Knight or Sugar Daddy
I wouldn't be too keen on that. Quitting a job I'd been working at for 6 years to take a chance on something like that isn't my thing. I think asking her to quit her job and not have a boyfriend is weird considering he said she doesn't have to have sex with him. The amount of money he was discussing seems a bit much including the perks for a platonic business arrangements with some 'social' escorting.
That's just me.
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Re: White Knight or Sugar Daddy
If I was making $3K/week at any day job I sure as hell wouldnt strip anyway... why would you? Id rather go to bed at 11pm and have my weekends to enjoy.
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Re: White Knight or Sugar Daddy
May as well ride his generous wave as long as it lasts.
No harm in asking him, however, why he wants her to quit dancing. Is it for professional reasons (i.e. his image)? He should be able to give a concrete reason.
I think I'd go for it, especially considering he's already proven himself to be very generous in the past. And like Jessie_tinydancer said, what kinda crazy would want to continue dancing in a recession while also making $3K/week? That's a good amount of money to throw into savings. Sounds like fuckin' Shangri-La compared to putting up with the strip club scene these days.
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Re: White Knight or Sugar Daddy
I wouldn't do it. The no stripping/no bf rule ruins it for me. This whole thing really send up red flags for me and spells "control issues."
But then, one of the things I love most about this industry is the freedom it gives me. So the idea of a "job" that prevents me from doing what I want with my free time and with my love life just sickens me.
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Re: White Knight or Sugar Daddy
^ Yeah, but don't most jobs have control issues? I mean, he sounds like he has a lot of money, which means he probably has an image to protect. If he wants to show up at parties with her as his arm candy, he can't risk his arm candy being seen with another man once the party is over. Nor can he risk her being seen dancing on a pole. If this is his reasoning for being controlling, I guess I can understand that.
I mean think about it...what 'normal' jobs would be okay with her dancing on the side?
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Re: White Knight or Sugar Daddy
^^^ I can sort of understand that reasoning. But then, it seems that having your assistant also be your arm candy doesn't project the most professional vibe either.
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Re: White Knight or Sugar Daddy
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Originally Posted by
Elvia
^^^ I can sort of understand that reasoning. But then, it seems that having your assistant also be your arm candy doesn't project the most professional vibe either.
Yes--when you put it that way it sounds weird. But it isn't weird for a company to dictate to you what they want you to do at professional parties. I mean, employers will tend to hire more attractive women, demand that you dress a certain way when attending work events, act a certain way at the events, say certain things to potential clients, etc, and this isn't considered out of the ordinary.
It only seems creepy because he's looking for a PA.
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Re: White Knight or Sugar Daddy
Isn't it weird for your employer (who mind you is only wanting social escorting and "no sex") to even ask about your relationship status--let alone try to control it? Even strip club owners don't care--unless they are pimpin' you on the side! I have a slight inkling he'd be trying to jump down her panties before she collected her first payment!! I also have a slight feeling that she would just happen to "not fit the bill" if she didn't comply with his advances. ::)
AND, what kind of employer requires you to finalize the divorce with your ex husband? Seriously, how is that his business? If he's trying to control her legal affairs that's a huge red flag to me. Sounds like he wants to isolate and control her, get what he wants, and then leave her high and dry.
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Re: White Knight or Sugar Daddy
Oh, and if the job is "the chance of a lifetime", why doesn't she ask to speak to the PA who is leaving at the end of this month to get her honest perspective? She must be leaving for a good reason to give up that kind of cash if it is only what he says it is.
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Re: White Knight or Sugar Daddy
^It's definitely something she should ask about.
I maintain that he likely has concerns regarding her image (i.e. if he publicly wants to appear that he's dating her, then he can't have people spotting her with other men, or find out that she's still married.)
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Re: White Knight or Sugar Daddy
I'm not too concerned about him wanting her to stop working at the strip club. I personally think that if she was honestly making the money he promised while maintaining a level of professionalism then she shouldn't need to dance. I think she should keep her job at the strip club because of the fact that she's done it for so long, but that's just me.
My issue is the amount of control he is trying to exert over her before she even has agreed to start working for him. I mean, come on, if you walked into any 'typical 9-5' and the manager said "yes, you can work here but you can't date anyone and have to finalize your legal affairs", you'd be like "yep, fuck you"!
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Re: White Knight or Sugar Daddy
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Laurisa
Isn't it weird for your employer (who mind you is only wanting social escorting and "no sex") to even ask about your relationship status--let alone try to control it? Even strip club owners don't care--unless they are pimpin' you on the side! I have a slight inkling he'd be trying to jump down her panties before she collected her first payment!! I also have a slight feeling that she would just happen to "not fit the bill" if she didn't comply with his advances. ::)
AND, what kind of employer requires you to finalize the divorce with your ex husband? Seriously, how is that his business? If he's trying to control her legal affairs that's a huge red flag to me. Sounds like he wants to isolate and control her, get what he wants, and then leave her high and dry.
This is what I was thinking as well.
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Re: White Knight or Sugar Daddy
Quote:
If he's trying to control her legal affairs that's a huge red flag to me. Sounds like he wants to isolate and control her, get what he wants, and then leave her high and dry.
Ultimately, this proposal smacks of mutual exploitation. But if the girl can pocket some quick cash ( or increased home equity ) before things go to hell it's an opportunity worth considering.