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Honest opinion but dont be to mean pls.
I started dancing and its been a couple weeks. Im not making money. Its like im not what the guys want a dance from. I dont get it. It really bringing me down man. Im sad and depressed. Here is where I wanna know am I that unattractive?? Im bigger boned but not fat. I just dont know what im doing wrong. What do u think am i not that attractive? Im working on losin my lil belly bump.
http://i331.photobucket.com/albums/l...7/DSCN5039.jpg
http://i331.photobucket.com/albums/l...7/DSCN5047.jpg
http://i331.photobucket.com/albums/l...7/DSCN5055.jpg
http://i331.photobucket.com/albums/l...7/DSCN5067.jpg
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Re: Honest opinion but dont be to mean pls.
Alright - here's the thing. You look like an average woman. You're not 'stripper-fied' properly. Nothing to fear...actually, you look like a normal newbie at dancing. You have to learn how to do makeup, how to do hair and how to hold yourself. Here's a thread that might help you out a little: http://forum.stripperweb.com/showthread.php?t=141682
1)Costumes and holding yourself:
Guys can't tell the difference between bigger-boned women and just big. For a dancer you are a bigger girl - I am too (bigger than you, infact). But its ALL about how you hold yourself. You have to dress in ways that are flattering to your body (which is hard, but doable). Accentuate the good things that men like to see - big breasts, small waste, nice round ass, etc. This is one of my favorite things to wear at work. The rouching hugs my curves and camouflages any extra chub. Something like this could also work well.. These outfits won't make you look skinny, but they DO make you look sexy. Sexy is what matters. A lot of men really like "BBW"'s (even if you aren't that Big), but you GOTTA be HOT!. I've seen the rainbow-style dress you're wearing in the first picture before - it really only looks good on skinny girls. Sorry, but it's true. The knitting pulls if you have any extra poundage. Also, get new shoes, just some plain black ones. It will look classier and match everything until you can afford to start buying more.
Be conscious of how you hold yourself and your posture. Keep your head and up and your back straight. Always suck it in! no matter if you're 110 lbs or 210lbs - suck in your gut! When you sit with a customer hold your shoulders high - don't slouch. In the poses above you were trying to be sexy, but they just weren't your angles. Practice at home in a mirror. Bend over and look at your reflection and see what angle your ass looks best at. That sounds ridiculous but we all do it. You need to find out what works for you. Keep practicing always.
2) Hair and Makeup:
Analyze your face and be hard on yourself - that's the only way you're going too see what needs 'fixing'. You need to learn to do makeup. There are SO many topics on this in Body Business, but here's what I think you should change up. Eyebrow pencil and fill in your eyebrows a little more. make sure you get a light brown colour because your hair is blonde - black eyebrows would not look good. You should try out a smokey eye with some dark brown colours. Check out this video for a tutorial.You don't need to buy the exact same products she uses, but you can pick up a nice brown palette at the drug store with 3 or 4 shades in it for less than $10. I love false eyelashes but a lot of girls hate them, so that's up to you, but it really does add a lot of drama. The goal is to make your eyes look larger. Your skin looks great, I'd just say a bit more colour on your lips, and maybe a bit of bronzer....these few changes will make a HUGE difference!
I like the blonde hair on you, and men LOVE blondes, so I say keep it. But it needs a toner to take down the brassyness. You can go to a training college and ask one of the students to put a toner in it to take down the brassyness, it doesn't cost much (about $15 here in my town). If you want to do it at home you can and I can tell you how, but it would probably come out best if you went to a salon. Also, if you plan on doing this for the long run, investing in extensions will probably help you out. I realize they're expensive (about $100 for a pack of 18-inch extensions) but they last a LONG time and you will see a HUGE improvement in your look. Here's a nice video for how to clip them in. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nO4c3...eature=related And she has a similar colour to yours (once you use a toner). You can see the dramatic difference they make.
If you don't want to do extensions you change you hairstyle a little. Tease at the top of your head to get more volume. Don't make it slick straight - you're going for that big haired Playboy model look. It'll look a lot sexier than plain straight hair.
3) Hustle:
You GOTTA HUSTLE GIRL! Look isn't everything, you have to know how to talk to your customers. Half of this comes with experience, the other half can be learned here on stripper web. Learn some cute things to say, make-up some funny entertaining stories that you can tell men when they're not talkative. You gotta get the guy to warm up to you.
Practice communicating efficiently and be perky and fun. Spend time on here reading through topics, it will help give you confidence.
You don't have to do all the things I listed; hell, you don't have to do any of them, but if you do just one of these you'll probably notice a difference in your earnings. I'm not trying to be hard on you but I know what it's life being new and not feeling wanted. The industry is harsh and you have to sink or swim so don't take my criticism personally - I'm trying to help you swim. As strippers we're supposed to be a fantasy and we have to look and act the part. Hope I could help you out some.
XOXO!
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Re: Honest opinion but dont be to mean pls.
I would say, dye your hair dark brown, stay away from yellow/lime green eyeshadows and go with neutral colors like browns, dark green, black eyeliner.... I don't know if that's a stripper dress but try sticking to a black or red dress... Just some helpful opinions :) Trust me, no one is like the post above me says, "stripperfied", right away.. Good luck!
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Re: Honest opinion but dont be to mean pls.
I agree with Kai, i would go for a different hair color. Perhaps a dark auburn, i think would look nice with your eye/skin. Your eyes are really pretty, i would really emphasis them.
That's all i got. Good luck.
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Re: Honest opinion but dont be to mean pls.
That's really great advice 4ever :)
To the OP, if you want to stay blonde then yes, get some toner! Blonde is so hard to keep up, that's why I suggested the dark brown hair. 4ever had some great advice so look into it..
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Re: Honest opinion but dont be to mean pls.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
kaiarose
That's really great advice 4ever :)
To the OP, if you want to stay blonde then yes, get some toner! Blonde is so hard to keep up, that's why I suggested the dark brown hair. 4ever had some great advice so look into it..
Thanks! I hope jays_kitten really looks into it. I know what it's like to be in that position and it hurts to not make any money at first.
Ugh, blonde hair is sometimes so impossible! That's a bit part of the reason I went back to red. I couldn't handle the upkeep! Men have to adore one of the hardest haircolours to keep....::).
Stupid men. Lol
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Re: Honest opinion but dont be to mean pls.
You asked for an honest opinion but not to be mean, so I'll do my best.
Honestly....you need to lose some weight. You're not fat but you're not, as someone else put it, "stripper-fied." You don't need to be bone-thin but right now, you look too...average....in weight for a stripper.
Some of the other suggestions for your makeup and hair will help, but first of all, go on a strict low-carb diet and exercise plan and get some weight off, tone up, etc. Once you have that down, you'll be a LOT closer to being stripperfied.
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Re: Honest opinion but dont be to mean pls.
As a former weight loss coach I disagree with his sugestion for a "low-carb" weight loss plan. People throw out "low-carb" like it's a fix all when it's NOT people. If you are going to lose weight you HAVE to do your research and find a weight loss plan that is right for you. I have known people that have gotten violently ill with low carb diets simply because that's what everyone says to do. SO if you are going to lose weight and tone up look around and find something that is right for you. And good luck hunny, you'll be great :D
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Re: Honest opinion but dont be to mean pls.
And smile more!
And I agree with black dress, red or darker hair.
Polish those nails! Try a classic red with your new black dress and black stripper heels.
Extend the liner out beyond your eye to make then look bigger.
Lose some weight. I'm sorry, it is not mean, it IS doable!!!!!
I can't wait to see the results!
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Re: Honest opinion but dont be to mean pls.
I saw your pic from another thread on here. You look great with the red hair. It's alot more flattering than the blonde and it softens your look. The blonde is alittle brassy. It looks like you're frying your hair trying to find the right look, DON'T, but I would go back to the red. It's different and cute.
As far as what you should do... Opinions are like assholes, everybody's got one. These suggestions, however good, are alot to take in and they may work for you and they may not.
So, I'll just say, from what I can tell, you're trying too hard to be sexy. It's a state of mind, one should exude sexiness. All of the crazy posing you're doing, doesn't work. It's all about attitude!
You need an attitude adjustment more than anything. I know girls that look like a hot mess at work, but they make money. Why? Because they command attention by the way they carry themselves and exude sexiness. It can be learned, but alot of it comes from being comfortable and confident in yourself.
Be patient. I didn't become a goddess overnight. }:D
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Re: Honest opinion but dont be to mean pls.
4ever hit most of the points I was going to make, especially about hustle and how to carry yourself. In my experience, you can deviate from the stereotypical stripper appearance and still make money, but you can only deviate so much. Since you are heavier than the normal stripper, it's important to compensate in as many other ways as possible.
I think it's going to be surprisingly easy for you to stripperfy your hair. You should definitely get some super long hair extensions, and aim for a very light light ash blonde (ash is especially important because you will look better in cool toned colors). This may take a couple of tries to get perfect, but blonde is tough to do and you're only a shade or two and some toner away. Try toning shampoo--it'll look blue or purple. Go to a salon eventually, if not initially, so they can add highlights and lowlights--dimension is important for blondes. Cut your bangs thicker and either keep them straight or part them to the side. Try to make your hair as big as possible too by using mousse and teasing it at the roots. No bump-its though.
As far as makeup goes, I would get some intense fake eyelashes and do cat-eye liner in dark brown. I second the recommendation of neutral eye makeup--I think a shimmery taupe or muted bronze would bring out the color of your eyes nicely. I'm going to go against the common "rule" saying that blondes shouldn't wear dark eye makeup. I say go for it, as long as you're in a strip club, and as long it's not matte black. Make sure to blend and use a gradation of colors going from dark to light from the liner to eyebrow. Use bronzer too.
I agree with 4ever about clothing. Get black heels and try dresses like the ones she linked to. Also, corsets and waist cinchers! I wore a lot of these when I started out because I was heavier too. Stay away from light or bright colors. Try clear heels too, the higher the better. They lengthen and slim. Also, looking "expensive" will help you out too. Try cheap rhinestone jewelry and the like, and always make sure to have your nails done. I think short squared off french manicures look the best, either real or fake. It's good you're working on your body, though. I did too and it's made my job so much easier!
Sorry if this is overwhelming. These are all things that I would recommend to many new strippers, not just you. You will find yourself feeling much more confident as you tweak your appearance too. Hope this helps!
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Re: Honest opinion but dont be to mean pls.
From a guy. Looking at your pics, my favorite features are your legs and ass.
I'd play that up:
- change dress styles as suggested above, wear booty shorts, etc.
- show it off when dance (circles, shakes, bending over)
- hit the gym with a focus on squats and lunges
I agree with the hair/makeup tuneup as well.
But... Selling dances is really about your personality and the interaction.
For me it is all about smiles, flirting, some kind of connection while chatting, hand-holding or other brushing touches, nice smelling, smooth skin. Yum.
I won't ever buy a dance from a pissed off or bored girl, or one who smells like cigarettes. There are a lot of things girls do to sabotage their sales...
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Re: Honest opinion but dont be to mean pls.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Mr Hyde
You asked for an honest opinion but not to be mean, so I'll do my best.
Honestly....you need to lose some weight.
I agree with this. You need to lose some weight and tone some areas, like your thighs. Some men, like African-American men, like bigger girls, but most men like them small. If you are big-boned and it is impossible for you to be a small size, then lose as much weight as you can and wear a corset to tighten your waist a little and emphasize your breasts, like this:
http://www.corset.dk/Galleries/kesslerd-dahlia921a.jpg
Breasts guys like me will overlook a few extra pounds in the waist, if the breasts are big and beautiful.
Here is a few pics of Erotic Eloise - a woman that I consider to be very sexy, even though she is a little big-boned:
http://www.glamourimages.net/guests/eliseprom24.html
http://www.glamourimages.net/guests/eliseprom19.html
If you can get down to this size, you should do fine. Nothing else is going to work until you tone up some.
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Re: Honest opinion but dont be to mean pls.
The first things you should change are the things you can change quicky. Along those lines, I agree with the comments about changing your hair and makeup. Those are extremely easy to fix, and they make a HUGE difference.
You'll lose some weight just from stripping pretty quickly. Your metabolism will also increase, and you'll tone up easily.
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Re: Honest opinion but dont be to mean pls.
No you are not unattractive and I don't think you need to lose weight but for someone like me who likes skinny girls I wouldn't be buying dances from you - but I am small myself, only 140 when I'm out of shape.
But follow 4ever's advice and you'll be fine.
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Re: Honest opinion but dont be to mean pls.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
jack0177057
If you can get down to this size, you should do fine. Nothing else is going to work until you tone up some.
Hey now, that's just not true - don't say 'nothing else is going to work until you tone up' - its really discouraging and incorrect. I'm bigger than the OP and I do very well, I'm a moderate to top earner for the club I work in. Will being thin help? Oh god yes, no doubt, but there's no reason she can't go out tomorrow and change her hair and makeup and do better in the mean time. It sounds like you're saying "until you lose weight, you're hopeless". If this was true, I wouldn't be doing well, nor would sxcbbw or any other plus sized girls on this site.
Truth is a LOT of men like a bit of chub, and even more 'don't mind it' if you have a great personality/eyes/tits etc. They're not all African Americans either.
It's so much easier to make good money when you're thin and toned, but you can do it if you're a bigger girl too.
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Re: Honest opinion but dont be to mean pls.
find a style / persona and explore it. it has to be something you can relate to but something that would sell also.
getting a tan will make you look more toned.
extensions?
also, bright hair, bright makeup and bright costume are a bit of overkill.
i have seen women over 40 who were not attractive at all outdo pretty young blondes so 'i hate my looks ' isnt really a working excuse if you want to concentrate on making money. she would hustle the shit out of drunk guys and get booked for hours
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Re: Honest opinion but dont be to mean pls.
Hair- Phony-tails!ftw or dye it a darker color.
Body- Lose weight
Make-up- False eyelashes make your eyes look great! and try some diff types of eyeshadow. Green doesn't really do your pretty eyes justice. You want to bring them out.
Clothing- Buy dresses
Nails- Do them! You don't have to get fakes but you can paint them pretty and for cheap. Sally Hansen actually does have okay nail polishes.
Go to hustle hut and read, read, read!
Also walk with confidence and smile! Fake it till you make it!
Example on dress: http://www.electriqueboutique.com/wo...lt/C-6964.html
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Re: Honest opinion but dont be to mean pls.
I see no reason you can't be successful if you listen to good advice and make a full commitment-I know if i saw you at a club I'd be interested.
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Re: Honest opinion but dont be to mean pls.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
4everresolutions
Hey now, that's just not true - don't say 'nothing else is going to work until you tone up' - its really discouraging and incorrect. I'm bigger than the OP and I do very well, I'm a moderate to top earner for the club I work in. Will being thin help? Oh god yes, no doubt, but there's no reason she can't go out tomorrow and change her hair and makeup and do better in the mean time. It sounds like you're saying "until you lose weight, you're hopeless". If this was true, I wouldn't be doing well, nor would sxcbbw or any other plus sized girls on this site.
Truth is a LOT of men like a bit of chub, and even more 'don't mind it' if you have a great personality/eyes/tits etc. They're not all African Americans either.
It's so much easier to make good money when you're thin and toned, but you can do it if you're a bigger girl too.
Sorry, I stand corrected... I'll let my opinion stand as my own personal honest opinion, but I'll take back my general comments about what other men like.
Also, I didn't mean to be discouraging. I realize that not all women can be tiny and I offered Erotic Elise as a woman with big bones who is beautiful and sexy.
I want to strongly encourage (not discourage) the OP to reach her full (or near full) potential of physical fitness and beauty by eating right, working out and toning up her body, to the best of her ability. --- I'll say this to any dancer who asks for my honest opinion, because that is a big part of what I value in a dancer (i.e., beauty, health and fitness -- 70% / positive attitude, great personality and eroticism -- 30%).
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Re: Honest opinion but dont be to mean pls.
^^
Thank you for that Jack, that's really cool of you.
There's some great advice here in this thread already, so I don't really have too much to add to that. But I also love how people have made it a point to tell you what's right about you too, so I'll add to that! You have really pretty full lips, and guys looove ze luscious lips.
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Re: Honest opinion but dont be to mean pls.
i worked in a club where the women with bigger bodies (not just breasts/ butts) made more. toning your body would be useful but it's not everything. like nearly everyone else who's posted, i agree that confidence in yourself helps most. wear an outfit you feel sexy in for work, look over makeup tips and dont let the past weeks discourage you. best of luck!
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Re: Honest opinion but dont be to mean pls.
Ok, my own quirky personal advice is find your signature piece that makes you feel amazing. Maybe it's the perfect pair of shoes, or a special charm bracelet, or the perfect fake eyelashes, or a lipstick colour so perfect for you it feels like the gods blended it specifically for your lips. Find that something that when you put it on you feel like you could walk through the apocalypse with a skip in your step and a swing in your hips.
I say this because when you wear it you will feel good, confident and powerful and you will exude those qualities. And those are the qualities that will attract customers to you.
Kisses
Oh and for christ sakes SMILE! You're so pretty hun, smile, laugh, look engaging. Yes while some people can pull of bitch faced super stripper really well I think that you need to be a little softer. Make guys feel comfortable with you. Bitch faced newbs (especially those that are obviously still just learning to walk in their heels and find their style) tend to set guys more on edge (that I've noticed) more than anything.
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Re: Honest opinion but dont be to mean pls.
i have a very athletic build and i used to be very small, when i returned to dancing last year I started small but gained weight. I hated it at first but everyone told me I looked awesome, and i made really good money. The trick to carrying out the thick or bigger woman thing is to be toned, like everyone has pretty much said. no one sees a toned thick girl as "fat" because she is muscular. Like everyone else has said as well, you dont need to lose alot, you dont have to be stick thin, but tone up and you will look curvy and thick. also like everyone else has said, dont try to hard and smile! i cant even telll you how many customers have told me to smile, everyone from dancers to the owner of the club as well. when you smile you are more approachable. I have a tendency to give everyone a death stare, eventhough I am really not thinking about killing anyone, i still give the death stare. Eveer since high school people have commented that i look like a bitch, customers have also said things like, "wow i never would have gotten a dance from you upfront, becausue you dont look approachable. alot of dancing doesnt have anything to do with looks. looks get a persons attention, but then personality has to do the rest.
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Re: Honest opinion but dont be to mean pls.
You're cute and you have really pretty eyes. Smile more and don't "try" so hard to feign sexiness. I have seen girls try to fake the "pornoface". Most of em look like they chugged a jar of Metimucil and need to shit.