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You know you have stripper burn out when...
Thought this might be a funny thread.
Funny and/or REAL things that happen when you know it's time for a break.
Sooo....I'll start with some...
You know you have stripper burn out when:
You go up to the guy and you say everything in one sentence.
"Hi I'm Jessica what's your name where you from oh that's cool wanna dance?"
When you don't even care if you're wearing 2 different sized heels.
When you're talking to a guy you start imagining you're in a far off land being fed grapes by Tarzan while petting a giraffe. Then when the guy asks a question, you respond, "HuH? Sausage?"
When you just sit in the back staring at the clock.
When you start calling all guys "Bob" because you really don't care what their real name is.
When you'd rather just sit at the bar and get wasted.
When you no longer really care what you look like.
When you sit in your car for 20 minutes debating on whether or not to burn the club down because sometimes, jail sounds a little more appealing.
When you start thinking you can make more money at McDonalds...or pan handling on the streets.
When you start amusing yourself by doing the robot on stage, or giving yourself "tattoos" (with a pen) and making up insane stories to guys just for shock value.
LOL....I think I may have stripper burn out...LOL
What are some of yours???
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Re: You know you have stripper burn out when...
Aaah, I love this! Hilarious! I have to run to class, but I'll definitely be adding to this later!
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Re: You know you have stripper burn out when...
I make up stories all the time as a result of stripper burn out.
I come up with a different story pretty much every night. I tell people I was born in different countries, I make up brothers and sisters (because I don't have any) and if the guy has a unique name I'll be like "oh that's my brother's name too!". I tell people I really live somewhere else and I'm here on vacation. I lie about my age, nationality, "real" name. I tell people I have a full time job waitressing or bartending or working retail somewhere. I've made up children, I've made up boyfriends (and girlfriends too haha), I've made up injuries, I've made up diseases, I've made up entire life experiences.
When I get bored I pretty much let my imagination run wild.
I've gone in the dressing room and put on the most bizarre mismatched outfits and walked out on stage with them.
I spray on my boyfriend's cologne before I go to work sometimes to see if anyone notices
and probably the ultimate sign of stripper burnout for me is when a guy puts a dollar down on stage and I'll see how long I can sit there talking to him instead of dancing before he gets mad hahah sometimes I'll even lie down right in front of a customer and be like "so how was your day?"
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Re: You know you have stripper burn out when...
when walking circles around the pole seems a whole lot more appealing than a guy waving a saliva soaked dollar at you randomly bursting out in uncoordinated dance moves.
when my plan goes like this: get off stage, check phone, buy a cheeseplate, have a cigarette, go pee, reapply lipgloss, check phone, go pee, reapply lip gloss, stand at bar hoping someone will come up and ask for a dance coz i cant be bothered.
when instead of sitting with people to get a dance you play out the possible bullshit excuse that person will come up for not getting a dance which will in turn not motivate you from moving from current spot.
when you dont even pay attention to the questions, its all scripted: my name is.. im from... im studying.... haha yeah
dont wear earrings anymore, only curl hair every week, your pubes are overdue for a shave and youre 'quickhanding' at makeup coz you dont think it will make a difference
i think i need some time off..
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Re: You know you have stripper burn out when...
When you're standing at the back of a crowded club, looking at the masses of unaccompanied, drunk men, and whine to the dancer standing next to you "....there's no one to hustllllleeeeeee!!!".
Yeah. That's when I know I need a break.
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Re: You know you have stripper burn out when...
I remember Superbowl 2008 we ran through the club with our underwear on our heads. Also on slow days we were making obscene gestures with hotdogs and bratwurst. God I miss Knockouts and Art (Thurs Fri DJ Sat Sun Mgr) so much :( He's the only man I have ever loved (like a brother!!!!!) that has never fucked me over
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Re: You know you have stripper burn out when...
When I go to a bar, and I start groping all the guys like if it was the most common thing in the world.
At my shop, when I'm alone, I start dancing in the most provocative way until getting caught by my chief...and him smiling.
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Re: You know you have stripper burn out when...
I've walked straight off from people when they are mid sentence if they don't seem ready to buy NOW.
I've glared at regulars who I know don't buy much.
I've hid in the back room for the first two hours to just not be out during the " lets settle in and have our drinks and get situated " time only peeking my head out to see if there is someone I get good vibes from before going to hide again.
My commuting buddy just yelled at a customer " If you don't want dances ... then GET OUT OF HERE ! " at these stupid young'ins wasting our time. I think that qualifies.
My ultimate one is when I was so burnt out and angry and a customer was holding a bill in his teeth. When he didn't think I did "enough" to take it out ( he kept his teeth clenched tight ) I just went ahead and ripped it out tearing it in half ( half was in his mouth and I threw the other half down in front of him ). I took a couple weeks off after that - it was obviously needed.
Hey I'm human. I don't do this stuff often . No one is perfect .
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Re: You know you have stripper burn out when...
when you start informing your regulars that you'll let them take you out to dinner if they pay you 300 dollars because you'd have to take the night off work to go with them. that's worked for me three times already. I texted a few of my customers and I have 3 "dates" this week lol. but what they DON'T know is that I usually only average about 150-200 in a night. less work, more money. I love it.
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Re: You know you have stripper burn out when...
When you start Hating the club's regulars (the guys who sit at the bar and don't buy dances) with a firey passion.
When any excuse begins to seem important enough for you to take off work.
When fresh-faced newbies who just love this job!!!11 reaaaaaaaaalllllllly start to grate on your nerves.
When you start calculating exactly how long the money you've saved up could sustain you if you stopped working.
When, no matter how strong your superiority complex about working sober is, you start contemplating drinking at work "just to take the edge off."
When you have extreme anxiety just picking up the phone to schedule yourself for another night.
When you start dancing to music that you know everyone else will hate, that will not make you more money, but you need it.
When you stop using your slightly higher-pitched happy work voice for your real voice.
I'll think up more later! Mine are more serious than funny, I guess...
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Re: You know you have stripper burn out when...
^I HATE the regulars too lol. they're soooo annoying and they all love me for some reason. I can get a few of them to come over and tip me on stage, but the ones who sit there with their ONE beer all night can kiss my ass!!!
ugh and I haaaaate the newbies. there's one who always comes up to me and is like "SMIIIIIIIIIIILEEEE customers LOOOOOVE a girl who SMIIIIIIIIILES" and I'm like I KNOW THAT I'VE BEEN WORKING HERE TEN TIMES LONGER THAN YOU I DON'T WANT TO SMILE
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Re: You know you have stripper burn out when...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
xGigi
^I HATE the regulars too lol. they're soooo annoying and they all love me for some reason. I can get a few of them to come over and tip me on stage, but the ones who sit there with their ONE beer all night can kiss my ass!!!
ugh and I haaaaate the newbies. there's one who always comes up to me and is like "SMIIIIIIIIIIILEEEE customers LOOOOOVE a girl who SMIIIIIIIIILES" and I'm like I KNOW THAT I'VE BEEN WORKING HERE TEN TIMES LONGER THAN YOU I DON'T WANT TO SMILE
Yessssssssss.
Although I never go to work unless I have the energy to smile (on the outside, that is). If I can't kick the newbs' asses, I don't show up.
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Re: You know you have stripper burn out when...
ugh same here! I don't care what day of the week it is, I don't care what promotion my club is doing that night, if I'm not in the mood, I'm staying home. I would rather work 2 days a week and bank as much as possible on those days than work 4-5 days a week and be miserable
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Re: You know you have stripper burn out when...
I hate the regulars too. They love me and try to get me to sit on their laps. I honestly got so annoyed with one I simply told him to fuck off and yelled at him because he doesn't spend money. I think I did the club a service.
When you contemplate punching another dancer in the face. I'm usually very calm, but if I get this annoyed, I know its time to take a break.
I do the sit on the tip rail and chat thing too. I get sore, damn it!
When you spend an hour getting ready at home, drive an hour to the club, then sit in the parking lot and debate even going in.
When you would rather sit and talk to the housemom than go hustle.
When you call your boyfriend "just to chat" from the bathroom stall.
When you pay to leave early (yep, my club makes us pay.)
I know I'm burnt out when I go into bitch mode with customers. I'm usually very sweet to customers, its part of my hustle. I know I need a break when I go off on customers about the value of a woman and start arguing stripper rights with them.
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Re: You know you have stripper burn out when...
When you turn down lap dances/don't go over to the guys who are waving cash because you just can't be bothered.
When you're on the verge of tears on the stage because guys are not tipping but you're still fucking smiling and then running to the bathroom to cry after your stage set. (Yeah, i do feel embarrased when I think about it right now..)
When you're with a guy who is obviously not spending on you and tries to get all phsychological and analytical about strip clubs and strippers, instead of leaving and saving yourself from the argument, you stay and be super mean and sarcastic to him, eventually pissing yourself off a lot more.
When you wonder if you really should be doing this job at all.
When you sit in a packed club and sitting by yourself and staring aimlessly in space is more appealing than talking to customers.
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Re: You know you have stripper burn out when...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Purrfect
When you're on the verge of tears on the stage because guys are not tipping but you're still fucking smiling and then running to the bathroom to cry after your stage set. (Yeah, i do feel embarrased when I think about it right now..)
.
Girl, it's okay.
I do that on like a nightly basis anymore.
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Re: You know you have stripper burn out when...
Oh, that's awful to hear. :(
It's not even the money thing for me though when it happens, it's the feeling of being unwanted and rejected. I've once showed the whole audience a "fuck you" when walking off the stage. And they actually DID tip. I didn't even pick up all their money from the stage. I just imagined they actually didn't like me and they felt sorry for me. After that I took a holiday.
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Re: You know you have stripper burn out when...
I'll have to try this more. I can never seem to negotiate it. You meet them in a public place right ? How do you avoid akwardness when they of course want to give you a ride home or something?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
xGigi
when you start informing your regulars that you'll let them take you out to dinner if they pay you 300 dollars because you'd have to take the night off work to go with them. that's worked for me three times already. I texted a few of my customers and I have 3 "dates" this week lol. but what they DON'T know is that I usually only average about 150-200 in a night. less work, more money. I love it.
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Re: You know you have stripper burn out when...
When you work in the middle of nowhere and think to yourself " I think I need to treat myself to some culture and other things to do today " ( to make excuses to not work ) even though there is NOTHING to do but maybe go drive around or fish. I've only bailed on work to fish one time.
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Re: You know you have stripper burn out when...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
carmen_b
I'll have to try this more. I can never seem to negotiate it. You meet them in a public place right ? How do you avoid akwardness when they of course want to give you a ride home or something?
say you have plans later and you'd prefer to take your own car and meet them so you can leave when dinner is over
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Re: You know you have stripper burn out when...
I just lay on the stage with my feet propped on the pole if there are not people tipping ( like really not tipping ) . If someone looks over and seems like they might be interested, I'll start doing stuff with my legs and will only really move if they set money down. I'm not sure if you could do that or if you'd get in trouble .
'[quote=Purrfect;1999293]When you're on the verge of tears on the stage because guys are not tipping but you're still fucking smiling and then running to the bathroom to cry after your stage set. (Yeah, i do feel embarrased when I think about it right now..)
quote]
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Re: You know you have stripper burn out when...
I'm gonna try it. I'm in a new place and even if they paid me like $100-$150 for a couple hours ( and they were willing to go early ) I would rather do that than sit in the club when it's slow. I hate the slow time at the beginning,but of course everywhere I go lures us in with lower house fee's during the slow and miserable time.
I get nervous though. They could follow you and get your plate . I'd prefer this in a city where I can hop a bus or something and dissapear.
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Re: You know you have stripper burn out when...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
carmen_b
I'm gonna try it. I'm in a new place and even if they paid me like $100-$150 for a couple hours ( and they were willing to go early ) I would rather do that than sit in the club when it's slow. I hate the slow time at the beginning,but of course everywhere I go lures us in with lower house fee's during the slow and miserable time.
I get nervous though. They could follow you and get your plate . I'd prefer this in a city where I can hop a bus or something and dissapear.
I can see why you're nervous. I have a good relationship with my regs so I don't worry about that. but you do whatever youre comfortable with
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Re: You know you have stripper burn out when...
When you conclude every stage set by flipping off the audience with both hands.
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Re: You know you have stripper burn out when...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Purrfect
When you turn down lap dances/don't go over to the guys who are waving cash because you just can't be bothered.
I knew I needed a break when one guy was asking me a bunch of questions about the champagne room and I SERIOUSLY didn't want to do the champagne room. he even said this: "I have about 400 dollars in cash on me...how much time would that get us?" and I just WAS NOT in the mood. I was kicking myself the next day, but sometimes I just don't even want to fucking deal with the customers. the guy seemed like a snob anyway.