i'm stuck. what should i do?
so i met my boyfriend at a club i worked at for a night while i was on spring break in miami beach. he was there with his friend and co-worker and the were doing some work in miami.... anyway, i was living with my parents at the time and shortly after i got back home to baltimore, they found out i had been stripping. i continued a long-distance relationship with him, despite my parents' concerns because he's much older than me and the know how we met...he visited me in baltimore to meet my parents and it's been serious since. i also visited him in california. when the semester ended, i went out to california to spend the summer with him... well the problem is that after i went to california and stripped in california, he would get really upset about it and wouldn't sleep all night. we had several fights about it until i finally just decided to stop... when i started school again, he moved out to baltimore to live with me and i haven't danced since california. the thing is, i really wanna do it and we could r
Re: i'm stuck. what should i do?
The end of your post got cut off, but it looks like you're going to have to make a decision about what's more important to you: dancing or your boyfriend. Considering he MET you in a strip club, I'm fairly surprised he has such huge issues with it now to the point of not being able to sleep at night.
Maybe try sitting down with him and having an open discussion about stripping? Present your side, explaining why you want to dance, and let him tell you why he's against it, and, most importantly, present alternatives to you. So, if you're stripping because you need the money and it's the only job you can get that fits around your schedule, what does he propose you do to support yourself? Don't get defensive or angry, and hopefully if everyone can be rational, it will work out in your favour. Just be prepared to have to choose him or dancing.
Think about what you like about dancing and what's driving you to go back. Are there other possible outlets for those reasons? So, if you like the performing aspect, could you become a regular dancer, or work in a go-go bar that's not nude? If you like the attention/expressing your sexuality, would he be fine with camming? Do you like the fast money? The flexibility? If you stayed out of the club and got a "straight" job instead, do you think you'd feel resentful toward your boyfriend for making you make that decision? There's lots to think about, and dancing did come before him, so there's the added notion that if he accepted you then, he should accept you now. Good luck with this. :hug:
Re: i'm stuck. what should i do?
sorry it go cut off! the rest was something like this: we could really use the money. we're pretty serious but i know that if i danced, it would surely be a deal breaker.
to answer your question: the things i love about dancing are: the money, the convenient scheduling, the attention, performing, dressing up and doing hair and makeup, the socializing, pretty much everything...
also, i would choose him over dancing and wouldn't resent him for making me stop but tht doesn't keep me from not wanting to do it.
he'd rather support th both of us before i dance again. i don't want to lie to him and we've talked about it so many times before
Re: i'm stuck. what should i do?
Sounds like your mind is pretty made up about what you're going to do. Would he let you strip once a week or so, so you could enjoy all the benefits but not be too far into the industry?
Re: i'm stuck. what should i do?
Well, if he's willing to support you, ACTUALLY willing to support you, and you're OK with letting someone else pay your bills (I know some people are and some aren't), then tell him that's how it'll have to be. You're in school, working a reg job doesn't pay much, and you want to graduate with as little in student loans as possible. This isn't just about the relationship, it's about your future financially. Student loans are no joke.