Re: indie escort question
I wouldn't meet up with anyone unless I was getting paid for it. If I were you, I would focus my time on other potential clients who aren't such a pain in the ass. If he is doing this now could you imagine what a three hour booking with him would be like?! Ughk! I'd jump off a cliff.
Re: indie escort question
You can get arrested for meeting someone in public and using explicit language about sex and money being exchanged, yes. It's best to phrase it like this:
"Well Mr. Smith, I'm very excited about our engagement we have scheduled for next week. We will be able to spend one hour together in private (and/or public) for a fee of $500 cash. I do ask that the money be placed in an unsealed, unmarked envelope in plain view in time for my arrival. Failure to do this or the use of explicit language will result in my immediate departure without refund of your deposit."
This is a very straight forward way of doing things, so I would suggest you first send him an E-Mail using this language. You may also add that "the use of explicit language at any point of communication, in person or otherwise, will result in a cancellation of our appointment". This way he will know that he should not discuss sex or sexual favors in person at your meeting on his porch.
I hope this helps!
-Laurisa
Re: indie escort question
Laurisa, do you address your clients as "Mr"?
Re: indie escort question
Thank you for the tips!!
Well, I guess 'supposedly' he is new to this as well. He said you can get into more trouble by meeting in a public place which is why he wants to me outside of his home. I can understand him being nervous thinking I'm a cop.. but still.. Would a cop really want to meet at his home?
Also, when are you supposed to discuss sexual favors? After you receive cash? And can you call it donations or gifts instead of straight out 'cash' or 'payment"?
Re: indie escort question
Eclat
It sounds sketchy to me. I would be very careful. If you decide to do it, chat on the phone and tell him any exchange of money is for time spent with you. Anything after that is between two consenting adults. I had a guy at my club ask me out after spending $600 on me in the VIP...no sex involved...He was a complete gentleman! I told him I couldn't right now maybe some other time. He's calling me like crazy and I know I can bank about $2K...I'm still to nervous and besides I'm married! Sometime we just need to walk away! Good luck!
Re: indie escort question
This guy sounds like a time waster. He may not be new to the business like he claims he is. Agree to meet him if he will pay you a meet and greet. If not, move on.
How long have you been doing this? From your other post I gather you're a newbie in the business. I really think it would benefit you to work for an agency for a short time to learn the ropes until you're comfortable enough to go on your own. Escorting without screening experience can be really dangerous.
Re: indie escort question
I'm new and I wouldn't escort at all! I danced for 5 nights back in August over 2 weeks and got freaked out by this rich guy. I made the mistake of giving him my cell # (I was told by other dancers it was good way to get reulars to keep coming back). ANyway, I took a sabatical and am now coming back into it.
Re: indie escort question
Quote:
Originally Posted by
naughtia
This guy sounds like a time waster. He may not be new to the business like he claims he is. Agree to meet him if he will pay you a meet and greet. If not, move on.
Depending on the laws in your area this also may not be a good idea. If the city you meet in requires a license for escorting (social escorting), & this guy is undercover he could ticket you for escorting without a license. If you discuss anything sexual during that time you'll only be digging yourself into a bigger hole.
Check & see if the city he wants to meet in is listed, & if possible check state laws as well.
Re: indie escort question
Quote:
Originally Posted by
strippername
Laurisa, do you address your clients as "Mr"?
I'm not an escort. I was using Mr. Smith as a common last name, if you want to call them by their first name that is fine. I'm a dancer, but based on what Malaya has said on this forum I think what I said was a pretty fair way of phrasing it.
Re: indie escort question
he is wasting your time, is an annoying acronym hobbyist, or is LE - as an indie your fee is all inclusive presumably unless you don't speak Greek and are not the ultimate GFE +++ (anal and bbbjtcim & generally less covers)... so there isn't much to discuss.
How did he find you if he doesn't have your picture or a picture representing you? If he is brand new and won't give that info and wants to just "meet" for free he's best suited for an anonymous sex site like Adult Friend Finder. Romance should never be discussed in detail.
Also, LE often hires private investigators who have been known to get a pro naked, sometimes even have sex with her and then bust her afterwards (a few more well known sex working bloggers have written about their busts)... with documentation of sex talk and payment as a part of supporting evidence. so, no, a cop wouldnt meet you at their real place, but a hired investigator would have less qualms. There are a few "How to Meet an Escort" links available out there that you can send him (or he could just google) that would answer many of his concerns without you directly incriminating yourself by spelling it out by email.
Hope this wasn't harsh - but if you have a client who won't follow your screening process and keeps trying to negotiate: drop him.
Re: indie escort question
He sounds like a timewaster and a complete pain in the ass.
What I would do is suggest a minimum time for your first appointment, at least 1.5 hours, which include enough time to get to know someone. Meet at a Panera or whatever for a coffee.
Never discuss anything illegal. Period. He is paying for your time anyway. Just tell him your fee, how long you will stay and how much for extra time.
As far as getting into more trouble in a public place? I cannot see that making a bit of sense. Unless he thinks you are LE?
If he keeps jerking you along like this just move on. Even if he is just nervous he sounds annoying.
Re: indie escort question
Quote:
Originally Posted by
eclat
Another question.. I'm a newbie & there's a possible client I'm dealing with right now & I'm unsure if he's undercover or not. He doesn't seem like it, but I'm super cautious. Can you get arrested just for meeting someone at a public place & discussing the terms? He wants to meet at his home, which is in a very safe, good neighborhood, just on his porch. He told me he'd give me his work id number, but doesn't want to give out where he works (well i think until we get to know eachother). He told me what he does, etc. and his background story. He also said he'd give me his facebook info, but I don't have facebook. I don't want to send him my picture yet because I don't want him to use it against me. Is it harmless to just meet him & discuss things or should I be doing something else first? I hope someone can help me out & thanks! :)
Your first mistake was meeting him in public FOR FREE! Escorts charge for that! It is called a meet and greet.. nothing sexual is discussed at these .. ever!
Yes You can get in trouble for meeting in public and discussing terms.. wait.. why do you need to discuss anything. You're an escort? I'm sure you have a website? ads maybe? no? Well .. You need to start from point A before you get to B hun.
If he does not want to give out where he works do not see him. Do not do it!
You do not need his facebook. He can keep that to himself. You need his full name, age, city and state he is from, city and state his ID was issued and employment info nothing less. Ask for more if you need to to feel safe. Do not compromise your Jepordize your freedom for a few measley dollars. Check out the screening articles under "MalayaTaylor" and follow naughtia's post and you'll be fine. You need to learn how to screen before you get into this type of work. Good luck.
Re: indie escort question
ALSO do not answer questions like "Are you FS?" "I love DaTY.. Do you allow that?" .. why? You will be thrown under the jail! Just walk away.
Re: indie escort question
SAAFE is an awesome site - their link on timewasters is great:
Re: indie escort question
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Laurisa
I'm not an escort. I was using Mr. Smith as a common last name, if you want to call them by their first name that is fine. I'm a dancer, but based on what Malaya has said on this forum I think what I said was a pretty fair way of phrasing it.
It is a great way to phrase it. I would be very cautious if I escorted in the US. I just think it is weird to call someone who will be fucking you "Mr".
Re: indie escort question
I responded to his ad. I don't have a website or an ad. He had an ad for a sugarbaby, thus not referring to anything sexual. When we talked on the phone he simply said a 'friend with benefits'. I felt.. like he was new and a bit nervous. But also guarded and possibly worried that I was an undercover. Where he lives is a very safe, 'family' type neighborhood. He only wants a picture of my face & said he will send me a picture of his face. No explicit photos, etc. If he is new to all of this, I can see from his standpoint about being worried to give a random person his full name, address, etc.
On another note, is it okay to discuss things over the phone? I blocked my number and all he said was 'friends with benefits' and no sexual details. Anyhow, I'm going to think this over & I appreciate all the advice. :)
Re: indie escort question
Quote:
Originally Posted by
eclat
On another note, is it okay to discuss things over the phone? I blocked my number and all he said was 'friends with benefits' and no sexual details.
No, you don't discuss anything... especially over the phone! If it is vice you will be recorded & the tape would be used as evidence in court.
Blocking him was probably a good idea.
Re: indie escort question
Hey now, I live in a quiet neighborhood as well and I am a *cue horror music* sex worker.....Basically where I live =/= I am not doing shady things. Presumed socio-economic status =/= physical safety or non-LE.
My analogy is ridiculous since I'm not a potentially dangerous client - but I hope you get what I mean & way way way more seriously:
-It is not safe to discuss sex & $$$ on the phone...even if you blocked your number. Ifyou intend to actually meet him and do a financial transaction - you can be busted
-did he give you his home address or did he tell you he lives in a family neighborhood?
-if he told you that, it doesn't... mean anything without ways to verify him
-if he gave you his home address but refuses to give you his work info that is a huge red flag... and is pretty bizarre
-he only wants to meet you on the porch of his house? is this after discussing sex for money on the phone? girrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrl
Any conversation that discusses sex ("time spent" or "companionship" are better euphemisms) and money (donation for time, tribute for friendship) simultaneously = extremely high risk for getting busted. EVen if he is blissfully ignorant - suffering fools will exhaust your time and possibly compromise your freedom... and anonymity (LE stings loooove to post sex workers full names and sometimes addresses even, which can be googleable for life).
If he is savvy enough to want a sugarbaby, knows what that means, and is posting on backpage - he should expect a certain level of screening if he is genuine about it.
Again, I dont mean to sound like a sexwork dictator - but most guys who post for "adult jobs" on backpage (who are not PSO/web cam studios, escort agencies, photographers, porn producers) are basically guys who want to haggle down what escorts would do in their contracted time or try to have a specific price for a specific act.... many will advertise as "I want to see someone regularly and make it mutually beneficial, non-pros only" which is often code for:
"I'm cheap"
"man escort prices are so HIGH when I just want a BJ... regularly... in my car... no cover... swallow everything... from a hot girl... younger than me... with a great smile... nice boobs..."
"I will be a huge pain in your ass"
"I'm a hobbyist-wannabe, DATY, BBBJ? I want my ATF to be a non-pro so I can guilt trip her into not expecting payment"
"I am emotionally needy and/or socially maladjusted and/or sexually repressed and will spend a LOT of time talking to you. a LOT."
"I am the cheapest cheapy that ever cheaped."
Instead of a typical sugar daddy/baby arrangement.... where most guys you either find by accident, in strip clubs, through escorting, online dominaton, country clubs, or on specific sugar baby social networking sites.
Its up to you and your discretion - but you may have better leverage if you post your own ad and field responses.
Re: indie escort question
I don't want to go any further with this, but now am a bit paranoid for talking to him on the phone about it. So, just to make sure... can you get into trouble with talking about it on the phone only IF you meet them after the conversation?
Also, specifying what you will do in email can also get you in trouble? But then, how does a website/ads that has the picture of an escort & her rates & what she does not get her in trouble?
Anyhow, I think I'm going to stay away from this & definitely read up more or move to where it is legal. Thank you again for all of your helpful advice. :)
Re: indie escort question
^^^ Honestly, I don't think you are prepared... otherwise you would be able to answer your own questions. Slow down & do your research.
You don't need to meet them in person to get into legal trouble, phone calls & e-mails can be traced.
Re: indie escort question
Well, that's scary. We never discussed anything financial. He only told me his background story and that he wanted a friends with benefits. We discussed where we could meet. He asked me my name & what I did, he told me what he did. And then we got to the subject of payment & he asked me what I would like & I told him I didn't feel comfortable discussing it. So, would they really take the time to track me down? What would they do exactly to 'get me'? Send me mail, show up at my door?
Re: indie escort question
Quote:
Originally Posted by
eclat
Well, that's scary. We never discussed anything financial. He only told me his background story and that he wanted a friends with benefits. We discussed where we could meet. He asked me my name & what I did, he told me what he did. And then we got to the subject of payment & he asked me what I would like & I told him I didn't feel comfortable discussing it. So, would they really take the time to track me down? What would they do exactly to 'get me'? Send me mail, show up at my door?
Sounds like you didn't give them enough. You are probably fine.
I just don't think you should start into this if you don't know how to handle all the questions, because once you are alone there's no one to help give you the answers.
Re: indie escort question
I agree. I think I have a lot more to read about & research. I'm seriously considering moving to where it is legal instead as well. Thank you again for the advice, this was a good learning experience. :)
Re: indie escort question
Quote:
Originally Posted by
eclat
I'm seriously considering moving to where it is legal instead as well.
That may be a good idea, but you should check with some of the other girls in places you are considering first. If it's legal that can also mean lots of competition.