Sometimes the breakup is such a relief!
As sad as I am that it didn't work out with Mr.Recent, sometimes ending things is such a HUGE FUCKING RELIEF!
After one year of dating this guy, who made me feel like I was in this bizarre perpetual holding pattern for a real relationship...
Now I never need to wonder again
- is he going to change / will this work?
- where is he tonight?
- is he cheating on me?
- why isn't this fun like other relationships were??
In the end it was so stressful, it just felt so good to say "please leave me alone". And I know it's flaky to do that with a text message, but still felt good. It has been a few days and he didn't reply, and surprisingly I don't have second thoughts.
The only thing worse than dating a player who won't commit is marrying him, so I got out at the right time :D
Re: Sometimes the breakup is such a relief!
Good for you! Sometimes relationships aren't worth it. Years ago I broke up with an emotionally abusive alcoholic who I lived with. He treated me like dirt and I felt better once I ditched him. This guy wasn't a player, but players never change so you were smart getting out.
Re: Sometimes the breakup is such a relief!
Sometimes breaking up with someone can lead you right into the next person who's actually worth your time. Like, at this moment you know exactly what you don't want, so your eyes are completely open to what you do want. Maybe you should do some journaling so you remember what this feels like?
Re: Sometimes the breakup is such a relief!
Good for you!
As far as journaling goes on How I Met Your Mother they write a breakup letter to themselves specifying all the reasons they are better off without the relationship. This is something I would have to do. I am the worst at ending relationships and the moment the guy gets upset I will immediately cave and take them back.
Enjoy the feeling =].
Re: Sometimes the breakup is such a relief!
Your not going to change a player thats for sure, so you did the right thing. I never understood why a woman would invest in someone they can't trust. Look for a heart & how he treats people & other relationships in his life.
Re: Sometimes the breakup is such a relief!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
charlie61
Sometimes breaking up with someone can lead you right into the next person who's actually worth your time. Like, at this moment you know exactly what you don't want, so your eyes are completely open to what you do want. Maybe you should do some journaling so you remember what this feels like?
This is so true. Right now I'm dealing with a guy who may or may not come back and my mom said the same thing. Basically to watch right away for any red flags. That way there's no sense wasting time on a person with issues you dislike.
Re: Sometimes the breakup is such a relief!
Every time I break up with a serious SO, it gets easier. The fourth time was a snap, except a little while there when I thought we could still be friends--but still the actual breaking up was easy.
The first time was rough, I remember that! I was so young and stupid, I thought I could not replace what we had. Wrong.
You don't want to replace what you had, you want something better than that!
If you are smart and don't go for the next one that comes along, because you are lonely, you will get better. So long as you avoid the players, anyway.
Re: Sometimes the breakup is such a relief!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
charlie61
Sometimes breaking up with someone can lead you right into the next person who's actually worth your time. Like, at this moment you know exactly what you don't want, so your eyes are completely open to what you do want. Maybe you should do some journaling so you remember what this feels like?
YES YES YES! I just broke it off this weekend with a guy I'd been seeing for over a year. At first it was a sad angry thing and now 4-5 days later I'm feeling stronger and spunkier and nearly back to my old self now that the blowup is over. I've written out everything I did wrong in addition to what he did wrong and I feel that much closer to meeting a much healthier guy. I went so far as to really debrief this guy on all the odd behavior and shadiness. He asked me why I wanted to know these things and I told him "I want to know what this is so if I ever see it again I recognize it and know when to walk away".
Re: Sometimes the breakup is such a relief!
me and my boyfriend (well ex now) broke up over the weekend. he told me he took a job offer in florida. and is leavin in 3 weeks.
I offered to go with him. Long story short...i saw his true colors and realized he really didnt love me. so yeah im hurt and angry but just gotta hope someone better comes along.
Re: Sometimes the breakup is such a relief!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Kat w
Good for you!
As far as journaling goes on How I Met Your Mother they write a breakup letter to themselves specifying all the reasons they are better off without the relationship. This is something I would have to do. I am the worst at ending relationships and the moment the guy gets upset I will immediately cave and take them back.
Enjoy the feeling =].
Hahaha I love the fact that you know this! I'm actually about to go watch HIMYM, back to back episodes, it's going to be Legen-wait for it- dary! Legenday!
Oh right and more to point, I second this advice.