Dudes: please don't tell me this. It makes me question your manhood.
Printable View
Dudes: please don't tell me this. It makes me question your manhood.
I know, it's weird, but so many guys feel this way!
I was explaining this to one of the hottest dancers I have ever worked with friday night. She was complaining that she wasn't getting dances and all the ugly girls were.
I've seen that happen before, but usually the ones getting dances were good hustlers, and the ones looking pretty but being ignored were not good hustlers at all. Or worse yet, insecure about appearance despite the evidence in the mirrors every night. Or worst of all both at once. But this girl can hustle.
But anyway as I told her, and whether you are good hustler or not, there's a lot of ugly guys out there, and also some better looking guys who still don't think they could ever get a really hot girl. So for them, the fantasy they seek in the club is an average or even ugly girl, so they can believe the girl might mean it when she tells him he is so different from the other guys, or whatthehellever. :D
There was something on the OKCupid research page about uglier girls getting more messages and stuff cause guys don't want to reach too high out of their league.
But when it comes to 'handling' me, I use that as a line for hesitant guys "What, you don't think you can handle me? Lets make that a challenge!"
This is true. To me it's odd, as I've always said, you can't hit a home run if you never swing for the fences.Quote:
But anyway as I told her, and whether you are good hustler or not, there's a lot of ugly guys out there, and also some better looking guys who still don't think they could ever get a really hot girl.
I never have understood this phenomena. It's just plain weird. If you are paying for some girls attention, wouldn't you want to pick the prettiest girl there? Sometimes men confuse the hell out of me.
A while back there was a thread about "leagues" and who belongs in them. I thought the whole thing was pretty stupid and I still do. It's even MORE stupid when you are talking about paying for attention/dances/extras/sex or whatever else when it comes to P4P and the sex industry. Honestly, unless your fantasy is to be with an average looking woman why not reach for the stars?
I think the most accurate thing is this thread is what Djoser said... Often the prettiest women don't try hard. When they saunter up and 'wanna dance' you, an excuse is needed to get rid of them. Atleast, I beleive that's the case. I would just say no.
Also keep in mind, some guys just aren't interested in the stereotypical "pretty girl". On top of that you have a theory held by some, that the less attractive will give a better or dirtier dance.
Basically... I think most of the time guys don't mean it, it's just another way to say "no" nicely.
I do reach for the stars. If the hottest girl in the club appeals to me and I see an opening, I'll approach her. If she stops by me, I definitely will take her up on a dance.
On the other hand gotta agree that more often than not the hottest girls seem to have an attitude that they're entitled to my business. Don't work that hard to engage me or please me.
So while my faves are in the top tier it's rare that they are the hottest girl there.
This has been my experience as well.
This sounds like the type of line delivered in response to a "wanna dance" request. When I was younger I'll ruefully admit that I used to say some cheesy variation of "If I did that I'd lie awake all night just thinking about you." In reality I was just trying to get her to go away. Now, of course, I just say "no thank you."
It is amazing how many of the young girls in these clubs now have zero sales skills. They seem to forget that, though they may be attractive, there are lots of tits and asses competing for attention. The girls that make money from me (even absent OTC or other considerations) are the ones that induce me to like them on multiple levels.
In the early days of my clubbing I sat at the stage and tipped every dancer who came out. It's different when you are paying for private time. When I first started buying dances, especially in the contact clubs, it became evident that the drop-dead gorgeous "10"s didn't always give a good dance or carry on an interesting conversation. I say no to very attractive girls all the time based on the effort I see from them on stage and the attitude they convey during the sales pitch, no matter how attractive they are. I don't feel the need to use a line on them but I agree with Jester, I think a lot of guys do.
Yup! Tits and ass are readily available in the strip club and, FWIW, it's pretty easy to find a really attractive woman on-line who will have sex with you as well. But the ones who are special, the ones who get my repeat business, appeal to me on a level beyond their looks. Indeed the level of skills has dropped so low in the P4P industry that I find myself looking for new talent less and less as time goes by. I have known my ATF dancers for between five and ten years at this point.
It might just be another way of saying no!
IRL some of the most beautiful women never get asked out because men are intimidated.
To reply about the 'sales skills'
I think it also depends on the club you go to, in my short experience atleast, when i go to $10 (instead of $20/+ per) dance clubs, there are no sales skills being used, on me atleast, it's all "want a dance?" as soon as i walk in the club and i'm trying to find a seat i will be approached by 3-4 dancers asking me if i want a dance back to back before i even sit down, another 5 more in quick succession after i find a seat, this can be very annoying, i'm starting to prefer topless over nude clubs
You can say that again. But there is no training for the vast majority of them. None. It's all Sink or Swim. Cope with the bullshit, make your money, and get out.
They are hired, they figure out the Game or don't, or figure out their own little version however distorted. Whatever gets them through the night. Then there's all the guys who will kiss their fucking asses endlessly all night, and that goes right to a lot of these girls' heads. Hey they are only human, so you can't really blame them--except I'm not putting up with any shit because of it lol! But that makes the problem with the hotter dancers worse sometimes, for the customers--and for the hot girls that can't get the guys to go for them.
Curiously enough, the hot girls are usually easier to deal with as a DJ. With certain notable exceptions.
This is very true but, there are a lot of sales positions where there is little to no training. It is, as you say, sink or swim. Attitude, to me at least, is half the battle. You can learn what works and what doesn't work just by observing, experimenting and being patient. A girl who walks in the door with a sense of entitlement from day one and thinking she has nothing to learn is very likely going to have problems.
Agreed. And of course guys go to the clubs for different reasons as well. I go alone to see a fav or two and spend some time. Personality and dance quality are my primary concerns. For me, looks are based more around a look and ethnicity that I prefer rather than just being drop-dead gorgeous. Some guys really just go to look at some T&A and, if they buy dances, they are gonna buy them based pretty much on looks alone.
I don't think you can place any credibility on the response"you're too hot, I don't think I could handle you". Seems to me it is just an attempt to say "No thanks" in the most complimentary way possible.
On top of that, "hotness" is always in the eye of the beholder anyway to begin with. When I was in the practice of buying dances, I was only interested in a particular type of girl and it wasn't the statuesque blond stereotype. Come to think of it, I don't think I ever got a dance from one of them.
Hey guys, fyi... I wasn't starting this thread to ask why guys say this. I started this thread to simply let guys know that that line sounds very unbecoming of a man; it makes me question their sexual prowess.
I can handle a "no, thank you" just fine. But to hear those sad words uttered by a man is just sooooooo unattractive. Things like, "minute man", and "weakling" cross my mind.
When I walk around the club I'm excited, full of energy, eager to flirt and totally enthralled by the variety of man candy in the club. That stupid line bursts my bubble, and sadly reminds me of the lesser men out there. It just paints you in a light that totally feminizes you.
It literally makes me question your manhood. Whether you mean it or not.
I hope you can understand what I'm saying here. :)
P.S. I'm a top earner at the clubs I work at.
that line is so annoying, or when they're in a group, I'll ask for a dance, and he'll look at his friend and his friend would say "she's just too pretty" like that's a bad thing? I'm super friendly and don't consider myself stuck up at all. I jsut don't sit around begging for dances. I'm working on being more submissive and pathetic, maybe that'll make me appear less intimidating and make more money.
Oh, I think we all understand it just fine. If it's a civvie club there are all sorts of psychological evaluations you could make about a guy who uses that line but in a strip club he probably just doesn't want to spend the money. I doubt those guys really care that you are questioning their masculinity. The best thing you can do is just move on and, since you are a good earner, it sounds like you have already figured that out!
I know that you weren't asking for explanations but it's the internet after all, threads go where they go. Once you put it out there you really can't control it...
I think it depends on what your agenda is in the club. If it is just to be entertained and see T&A.... Why does the girl need great sales skills? As long as she's hot to you and not a complete bitch fork over the money and let her do her thing. If it is more for a "connection" or someone to spend a lengthy amount of time with I could see a guy expecting more effort and a better rapport. Im not a "wanna dance"girl at all, but I don't want to coddle you,stroke your ego and make you fall in love with me all for a 20$ dance. The effort is not worth the return.