Ugh--Worst Cramps. HELP PLZ!! So bad & Embarassed (kinda gross)
Ugh. I am so embarassed to post this but I am having the worst cramps ever. My stomach is killing me. Ok, sorry this is so TMI and so gross but I'm uber badly constipated. Any help is appreciated!!! Thanks xox Gwen
Re: Ugh--Worst Cramps. HELP PLZ!! So bad & Embarassed (kinda gross)
We're human and that involves an undignifying digestion system, too, so no worries. ;D
If you're just constipated, I think dried plums could help. I've heard of drinking warm/tepid water as well. If you're having cramps because of something else...sorry, nothing comes to mind. :/
Re: Ugh--Worst Cramps. HELP PLZ!! So bad & Embarassed (kinda gross)
^ I get really constipated before and during my period as well so I know where you're coming from. First, it's okay to do a "Flush" which will help suck water out of your body, push it into your colon system and make the poop come out, typically as diarreah, but if you're dehydrated it will just be mushy. If you're REALLY dehydrated, your body will push out chunks which are like owl pellets, really hard on your anus and likely to cause hemorroids or anal fissures so it's best to try to avoid this by actually eating right and drinking water and avoiding bleeding anuses that way :P You have two options that are cheap and easy though there are certainly options you can by over the counter.
My preference is the vitamin c flush. Take two grams every fifteen minutes with lots of water until you have diarrhea. Stop taking the vitamin c and you will have diarrhea a couple more times. You can also do the epsom salt flush which is to take two tablespoons (some people only need two teaspoons. I personally hate waiting for something to take affect like epsom salt since it is SOOOO nasty to drink, and then find out I need to down a little bit more for it to work for me.) This tends to push out everything all at once though you might have one more follow up poopfest later in the day. You need to be closer to the bathroom for the epsom salt flush than the vit c flush.
Now, insofar as cramps go, what you need and might be aided by smaller doses of magnesium, as well as iron. When women have chocolate cravings in relation to their periods, it's a signal of magnesium deficiency. Your body is also losing blood so you need more iron.
What I do a few days before my period is I start to take 2 tablespoons of BlackStrap Molasses. I get the whole foods brand of it. I take that 2-3 times a day during the first two days of my period and my period cramps are held at bay. it's nasty but it has iron and magnesium and it regulates your bowel movements, even when you're not on your period which is great for those of us who tend towards constipation. If you make shakes or smoothies though, I'd add the blackstrap to those.
Also, if you catch your period early enough next time, I find dosing myself with 800 mgs of ibprofen a few hours before the cramps (you know how you can feel they're about to start?) and then every 4 or so hours.
sorry you're hurting. You could also try masturbating. When your body is cramping, if you can get yourself to spasm via orgasm sometimes it resets your body in some way so that you're not cramping anymore? I've had this work but not as awesomely as catching it early with ibprofen or taking the blackstrap molasses.
ALSO:
http://www.earthclinic.com/CURES/constipation.html
I'm editing this thing all over the place so sorry for those who've already read this--
if you're continually constipated and have the 'roids to prove it, if you get a little anal massager (available at adult sex toy shops) massaging your anus with a little vibrating thing helps bring the blood to the area and repairs the blood vessels. I'd have to look up the article I remember reading this from, but I actually took my bullet and did this to myself a little bit and I found it helped with the 'roid pain and actually having the little 'roid stick out.
Re: Ugh--Worst Cramps. HELP PLZ!! So bad & Embarassed (kinda gross)
Hey, shit happens. lol
If it's just constipation, go buy some magnesium citrate and drink the whole bottle, you'll be better in no time
Re: Ugh--Worst Cramps. HELP PLZ!! So bad & Embarassed (kinda gross)
I know this may seem like the most difficult thing in the world right now but...
30 minutes of cardio will make you feel so much better. It will loosen up your body (and your stool) and the endorphins induced by exercise will counteract the pain.
It always works for me!
Re: Ugh--Worst Cramps. HELP PLZ!! So bad & Embarassed (kinda gross)
Yes, well if it's that bad you can by a laxative. It might work a bit quicker.
Otherwise, prunes (a plum species) will help! You can eat them (they're nice and sweet) or by juice, which is better served chilled. Make sure when you eat to drink water before and after eating. Room temp or warm water would be best.:)
Make sure you're getting enough magnesium and iron in your diet, as above post stated.
I'm sure you've heard it before. Go for a walk, exercise will help with the cramps. :)
Re: Ugh--Worst Cramps. HELP PLZ!! So bad & Embarassed (kinda gross)
Thanks for all of the help. Honestly, walking and especially exercising is soooo not somthing I want to right now. I don't think I could do 30 mins or cardio right now and I'm a gym junkie.
Re: Ugh--Worst Cramps. HELP PLZ!! So bad & Embarassed (kinda gross)
Here is the article I was referencing, but be warned that there's a graphic picture of a stage four hemmorroid on the first link:
http://www.prostate-massage-and-heal...morrhoids.html
http://www.prostate-massage-and-heal...morrhoids.html
Re: Ugh--Worst Cramps. HELP PLZ!! So bad & Embarassed (kinda gross)
Short term ~ get a laxative or some Metamucil. It'll work!
Or sometimes a really strong cup of black coffee and online shopping (Ebay for some reason) can do the trick. And I am not trying to be funny, it just does. LOL.
After that up your water, fiber, etc.
Re: Ugh--Worst Cramps. HELP PLZ!! So bad & Embarassed (kinda gross)
You know what's good? Benefiber, the kind that dissolves completely. I put it in my water bottles, it's totally and completely tasteless, has absolutely no texture, so you don't even know it's there. Honest to god. I love the stuff.
Re: Ugh--Worst Cramps. HELP PLZ!! So bad & Embarassed (kinda gross)
Too many fiber pills cause major farts, if you are plugged up that could make you much more uncomfortable. Take it easy on them if you go that route.
My best method is a huge pot of coffee. Usually you'll have to go right around the last cup. Coffee works right away. No emergency squirties in the morning(or who knows where!!) like a laxative would cause. ;)
Re: Ugh--Worst Cramps. HELP PLZ!! So bad & Embarassed (kinda gross)
I have suffered from severe constipation since I was 5. Prunes don't work. There was this time I was in tears I drank milk of magnesia, a bottle of Skylax and ate 3 bananas and nothing was happening. I ended up in the hospital getting an Fleet enema. I guess I have concrete in my stomach. The only thing that works for me is a colon cleanser/laxative tablet and it does not cramp like many I have used before. I never let more than 4 days go by without having a bowel movement and if I do I take these tablets.
The tablet is called Super Colon Cleanse and I take 4 the last last thing before going to bed and 4 first thing in the morning before having breakfast or juice. Drink with alot of water.
The best advice I can give you though is increase your intake of water. Drink water like there is going out of style.
Hope it was helpful.
Re: Ugh--Worst Cramps. HELP PLZ!! So bad & Embarassed (kinda gross)
I agree with the water. You have to stay hydrated. It is very very important. Also try green tea.
I personally take Colace ( you can get the generic) it is a stool softner it works very well. They actually recomend this prior to surgery as well being as often the medications they give cause constipation.
Increase you calcium/magnesium and zinc. If nothing is working you may want to get a blood test sometimes this can be a sign of low iron levels or thyroid issues.
Re: Ugh--Worst Cramps. HELP PLZ!! So bad & Embarassed (kinda gross)
As well as taking fiber and staying hydrated, regularly taking fish oil supplements really help keep me regular!
Re: Ugh--Worst Cramps. HELP PLZ!! So bad & Embarassed (kinda gross)
Oh my gosh. I can contribute here.
I have solved my poopage problems forEVER with one VERY SIMPLE THING: Bisacodyl suppositories.
http://www.dulcolaxusa.com/consumer/...tory/index.jsp
NOT the pills.... the SUPPOSITORIES... the little things you actually shove up your ass.
Most people are hesitant to try these because of the "Ewwww... up my ass?" factor, but I kid you not.... if you need INSTANT relief, this is a GODSEND. Get over the grossness, and just do it, already. I can't say enough about how great this stuff is, when you need to get some poop out, and you need to get it out NOW.
Method: Shove the little pill thingie up as far as you can (may want to use rubber gloves, or a sandwich baggie over your finger, and DEFINITELY a bit of lube), make sure it's in contact with the wall of your rectum for best results. Wait five mins. When you get the urge to pass gass, MAKE SURE YOU ARE OVER A TOILET, cuz it... errrrr... might not be 'gas'. ;-) Over the next 20 mins or so, you will prob take 2-3 poops, evacuating a nice portion of your bowel. Give yourself an hour the first time, JUST IN CASE. Once you feel like you're done, YOU'RE DONE!! :-) Now.... don't you feel MUCH BETTER?
I use this method whenever I know I MUST get some poop out, but I only have an hour to do it, or bust. Like.... You're bloated with shit, but you are 3 hours away from a party at which you need to be rocking a slinky dress. Or.... you're TRAVELING (this always makes me back up... my ass does not like to poop in foreign toilets. It needs some encouragement), and you need to get some poop out or you'll be uncomfortable on the beach, the hotel pool, or out seeing the sights for the day.
I used to just use laxatives, but this is WAY BETTER, because with laxatives, you can't really predict when you'll need to 'go', or how urgently. WIth the suppository method, you are GUARANTEED to feel 100% better an hour or less from the moment you shove that poop rocket up your butt.
Seriously... I can't recommend this enough as a simple, fast, effective way to solve your immediate poopy problems.
Re: Ugh--Worst Cramps. HELP PLZ!! So bad & Embarassed (kinda gross)
Prune juice or laxtea always works for me.
hope you feel better soon.