Former stripper and strip club manager nasty custody battle
This story only interested me because she's a former stripper at a club in Chicago (Admiral Theatre) who became a devout Jew and he's a former manager there.
She was an exotic dancer at the Admiral Theatre, and he was the club’s manager, when Nelson Derbigny said he met Elina Margolina in 1995. The two got married, changed careers and had a child — but divorced in 2007.
On Wednesday — after both since remarried and Margolina became a devout Hasidic Jew — the two sat on opposite sides of a Cook County courtroom for the start of a bitter trial to determine custody of their now 8-year-old son.
The fight centers on religious tradition, as Margolina — who is in her late 30s — claims Derbigny’s refusal to keep a kosher household and ensure the boy wears a yarmulke to school is sabotaging the child’s religious upbringing. She wants sole custody of the boy and wants an earlier joint custody agreement to be dissolved.
But Derbigny, 52, who works in real estate and lives on the North Side, says he deserves sole custody because the wife’s strict religious upbringing of the child is alienating him from the boy’s life.
“The question here is who is the better decision-maker,” the father’s attorney, Joel Brodsky, said in his brief opening statements before Cook County Circuit Court Judge John Thomas Carr Wednesday. Brodsky said before the hearing that he intends to bring up Margolina’s days as an exotic dancer — and her subsequent conversion to devout Judaism — to show the court that she “tends toward extremes.” But Rush University child psychiatrist Louis J. Kraus, who was called by Margolina’s attorney, David Grund, testified that the mother should get custody.
Kraus had recommended a joint parenting agreement back in 2007. Back then, he testified, the parents had agreed that the boy would be raised Jewish. But after a recent evaluation of the boy and discussions with the warring parents, it was clear mom and dad had different expectations about what it meant to raise a Jewish child, Kraus said. Derbigny, a Roman Catholic who attends Mass on Christmas and Thanksgiving, did not believe he was required to keep a kosher household — especially since they hadn’t done that or even observed the Jewish Sabbath when the family was together. But Kraus said in his talks with Derbigny, the father seemed to be making a point of serving the boy bacon and other non-kosher foods. Kraus said he was concerned the parents’ stalemate was causing the boy anxiety and other behavioral problems.
“I’m recommending Ms. Margolina have sole custody ... because of the high level of conflict,” Kraus said.
Brodsky said he plans to call a doctor later in what is expected to be a week-long trial that will recommend Derbigny get sole custody.
Grund declined to comment to the Sun-Times about the case.
Re: Former stripper and strip club manager nasty custody battle
This is an interesting article. Personally I'm against raising children while imposing your religious beliefs on them. Giving sole custody to the mother because of it is difficult, because what if the child decides independantly he doesn't agree with Orthodox Jewish teachings? As for the dancer related aspect, I think it is another case of how dancer's are still stigmatized. Lots of sterotyping... Former occupation itself should not be determining as a reason for denying custody rights. However, food for thought; If the woman wants to take away the father's custody for religious/moral grounds, she should see her ethics and morals being brought into play. Seeing how dancing is still viewed by many as immoral, I would expect she already has this covered somehow, or is woefully underrepresented.
Re: Former stripper and strip club manager nasty custody battle
I think them using religion as a basis to deny custody is wrong, just as bringing up their occupations. Unfortunately as has been brought up a few times, strippers are still stigmatized in custody cases.
Re: Former stripper and strip club manager nasty custody battle
The woman is the one who brought morals and religion into play though... she opened the door imo
Re: Former stripper and strip club manager nasty custody battle
How can he use her dancing against her when he worked at the same place? Hello pot, meet kettle. Oh I forgot, when men do it, its ok. Ugh.
Re: Former stripper and strip club manager nasty custody battle
while the dad is obviously being a dick and going out of his way to not respect the mom's wishes, it's worth noting that preparing kosher food requires two completely seperate sets of cooking utensils. it's pretty extreme. it's a lot more than just 'no bacon'.
Re: Former stripper and strip club manager nasty custody battle
I don't think not raising your kids as an Orthodox Jew is being a dick, and I myself am Jewish. It is a very extreme type of upbringing, and agreeing to raise a child as Jewish is not the same as agreeing to raise him/her orthodox. It's not just being kosher, raising an orthodox Jew limits the kind of social interaction and upbringing a child has, and just because the mother has decided to be orthodox does not mean the father has to raise the child as one...
Re: Former stripper and strip club manager nasty custody battle
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Lacy Luck
How can he use her dancing against her when he worked at the same place? Hello pot, meet kettle. Oh I forgot, when men do it, its ok. Ugh.
That's what bothered me about this. I remember I once dated a vile DJ and when we broke up he told people I was a "dirty whore". The irony is he was a pimp and dumped me because I refused to do things he wanted.
Re: Former stripper and strip club manager nasty custody battle
You seem to only date crazy drug addicts, losers and criminals from your posting on here...
Re: Former stripper and strip club manager nasty custody battle
Quote:
Originally Posted by
nelly33
You seem to only date crazy drug addicts, losers and criminals from your posting on here...
Ah so it's turned into questioning who I date. Did I turn you down for a date once? Seems like it from your rather strange questions about me. Um no, I dated two guys who would fit that. Only one was a criminal (a pimp) and didn't know until I moved in. The other was an alcoholic. My last guy perhaps seems as a loser but he never was before. So out of the many guys I've dated (I've probably dated hundreds, from one date only to long term boyfriends) it seems like I've dated only losers? Nope. I don't as a rule date those guys. I only even mention them because they are fodder for talk.
Re: Former stripper and strip club manager nasty custody battle
No, it didn't turn into a question at all about who you date. Also, it wasn't a question... it just seems that you always have some ex that demonizes men to make your point in whatever you are posting in.