How do I refuse to give a particular man a private dance?
If I don’t feel comfortable giving a particular man a private dance how do I refuse? Sometimes certain men give me that gross feeling in my gut. I mean, they could be nice guys but I don't want to take the chance. What are some good excuses you might have come up with?
Re: How do I refuse to give a particular man a private dance?
Maybe it's because I've never felt uncomfortable around a customer who has asked me for dances (the fact that they're so willing to open their wallet for me generally gets me nice and comfy with them!) but it seems like you're just throwing away money by refusing to dance for them. A lot of the men who come to strip clubs do it because they can't get female contact/companionship elsewhere, so they're bound to be a little off and not have the best first impression. I think it's important as a stripper to be able to tell the difference between someone who just isn't good with people (especially women) and someone you legitimately have to worry about. Unless I was 100% skeeved out, I'd just go for the dance and make the money while figuring it out if they're just innocently off. You can always stop the dance (especially if they try and break the rules) or not offer a repeat, but I feel safe in my club in terms of security, where they'd have my back if the guy were to really try something. You can always get the money upfront so you can just walk away mid-dance if something happens.
But if you're really really uncomfortable with them, there's tons of excuses: you're waiting for a regular, you're going to go on stage soon, you're just heading out for lunch/dinner/a break/a cigarette. No excuse apart from a straight up "no, I don't want to" will be foolproof though if he's still in the club and keeping an eye on you and he could insist on coming back after you're done eating/on stage/smoking.
Re: How do I refuse to give a particular man a private dance?
I'm so thankful I was referred here to ask questions like this! I know it sounds silly. For the most part I find the "off sort of men" to be endearing. However every so often there is one or two I don't want anywhere near me for any number of reasons. Thanks for the pointers.
I think I'll ask for the money up front and explain the rules beforehand.
Do either of you think it would be okay to ask security to check in every so often if I feel really weird about the situation but go ahead with the dance?
Re: How do I refuse to give a particular man a private dance?
Okay, I wasn't sure if you just meant the off men that come around every once in a while, or those rare occasions where you really feel uncomfortable and just plain skeeved out.
As long as you've been tipping your security well and tip them extra as you ask them to check in on you, I don't see that being a problem. Just explain that you have a weird feeling about the guy, but since he hasn't done anything you don't want to lose the sale, and would appreciate if they could check up on you just in case something does happen.
Re: How do I refuse to give a particular man a private dance?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
shanna dior
Okay, I wasn't sure if you just meant the off men that come around every once in a while, or those rare occasions where you really feel uncomfortable and just plain skeeved out.
As long as you've been tipping your security well and tip them extra as you ask them to check in on you, I don't see that being a problem. Just explain that you have a weird feeling about the guy, but since he hasn't done anything you don't want to lose the sale, and would appreciate if they could check up on you just in case something does happen.
- I'll make it a point to be friendly with security and tip them generously.
-I can ask them to check in with me if I have a particularly bad feeling.
-Explain rules beforehand and nicely ask them to pay upfront.
- I can walk away from a dance if they break the rules with my cash.
- I can always say I'm "waiting for a regular" or "I'm about to take a break"
- Remember that many are just a little "off" and looking for company.
- I don't have to do anything I don't want to.
Got it. Thanks again.
Re: How do I refuse to give a particular man a private dance?
"Sorry. I'm on stage soon."
"Oh I'm so sorry... but my shift is over soon and I don't have time to do any more dances."
Even if they're both lies... who cares. If they come up later and question it... just repeat what you said. Fuck em.
Re: How do I refuse to give a particular man a private dance?
I refuse sometimes. Sometimes if I know they are a pain in the arse or if they are creepy. I just say... "sorry Im busy" and walk away. If they keep coming back up say "Im actually booked right now and for a while but Im sure someone else is free". If I dont plan on ever dancing for them, theres no reason to worry.
Re: How do I refuse to give a particular man a private dance?
^ Yeah. Tell them whatever you want. You are an independent contractor and can dance for whoever YOU want to.
Re: How do I refuse to give a particular man a private dance?
its not that hard? walk away? say you dont wnt to or make something up? not that complex..
Re: How do I refuse to give a particular man a private dance?
love that attitude. Especially the idea that I'm a "independent contractor "
Thanks girls.
Re: How do I refuse to give a particular man a private dance?
I have never danced for anyone who I found creepy, got bad vibes from or gave me agro, and so far I have never been ripped off. Getting paid $20 to let any Tom, Dick or Harry feel you up can be very disheartening. I stay sane by setting some standards.
If someone I don't want to dance for approaches me I say, 'I'll be right back', 'I need the washroom', or 'I'm with a customer right now'. I keep it short and polite, as some people can take the rejection badly and make an issue out of it making it worse for yourself.
Re: How do I refuse to give a particular man a private dance?
Now that I've started dancing I just say "Yes, but I allow no touching whatsoever"
I'm going to stop that. I'll agree but get my money up front. Thanks girls :)
Re: How do I refuse to give a particular man a private dance?
I have never refused a dance. I guess I have just been lucky because the men that I have had the opportunity and chance to dance for did not give me problems. Then again, while I don't do extras, but I don't mind a man running his hands down my back or on my shoulders or arms. I don't have a problem with skin to hand contact...just not the "nether-regions". at all.
Re: How do I refuse to give a particular man a private dance?
"I can have my genetic clone available in a few minutes"
Re: How do I refuse to give a particular man a private dance?
"Sorry. I'm on stage soon."