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Cammodels & Relationships
So...I'm new to the camgirl scene..I've been reading you all on this forum for a week or so and just waiting the approval of Streamate to come through then I'll be on with the big girls ;)
My job might be cut in July and I live on my own - so I need to have some sort of income. I'm also in school so I need to continue that as well. I've been thinking about this for a while so I'm kinda excited to start...I know this is most girls stories about how they started. I am not sure it will be a long-term thing for me, but we'll see how the money is first! ;)
Here's my problem...I just started dating this guy, and he's great! I've told him about cam modeling thing and he understand, but obviously isn't thrilled. He knows I'm independent and I am going to take care of myself financially rather than feel like I have to rely on any man, including him. So he respects that...I'm just worried that I might be all sexed out and not be able to give him so much - right now our sex life is awesome but I know even I have my limits..So, how do you girls do it?
And do you ever look at your man or any man (or woman) differently after doing this work?
I know these questions are kinda personal but this is still very new to me so I've got all these random questions popping in my head!
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Re: Having a relationship as a CamGirl...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
KamiOnline
I'm just worried that I might be all sexed out and not be able to give him so much - right now our sex life is awesome but I know even I have my limits..So, how do you girls do it?
And do you ever look at your man or any man (or woman) differently after doing this work?
I know these questions are kinda personal but this is still very new to me so I've got all these random questions popping in my head!
Well, personally, my shows are about making my customer cum, and even though they are sometimes fun, it's nothing to do with my sex life or satisfying me. I consider myself an actress. I use a glass dildo and organic coconut oil and since I started doing that I never get sore.
My boyfriend gets all the real orgasms ;)
I've been a little surprised at how many ladies here have men who have a problem understanding that it's a job, makes me appreciate having a really secure man even more. I wish all guys could be understanding, though I'm sure it must be difficult for a new relationship especially.
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Re: Having a relationship as a CamGirl...
My relationship with my man is as sexually awesome as ever.
My job is my job and has nothing to do with my pleasure it's all about money money money. My man gets all the good stuff. Its probably better now that I'm camming simply because I'm so happy. I love my life, I love my job, and I love my man. It all makes for a super happy Aria which = a super horny Aria :D
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Re: Having a relationship as a CamGirl...
My boyfriend is "ok" with it, obviously hes not excited about it. He has never been a jealous guy in the 5.5 years we've been together though. Honestly, we dont really talk about it much, I work when hes not home. He comes home, I tell him how much money I made and he always says "Thats great babe! Good for you!" in a sincere and sweet way. I NEVER share details with him because he has never asked and I think it would just weird him out. So thank the lawd for this site because it lets me vent w/ people who want to hear details and understand, because they've been there :)
Im curious tho...Aria and Laurie...do you guys share details with your guys? Like say you had a custy that was a weirdo one day, or had a cam2cam that grossed you out, or even a hot cam2cam guy....do you tell them?
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Re: Having a relationship as a CamGirl...
Yea I don't think I'm going to be telling him too many details unless he asks. We're really all about honesty in our relationship, which is new for me!, so it's important that he knows he can ask and I'll tell him things.
Like I said, he's not excited about it, but he understands and knows I'm gonna take care of myself first and foremost.
I've been reading a lot about faking things on cam so that's gonna help a lot!! I was like, damn I am going to be too sore and tired but there's some great tips on here!
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Re: Having a relationship as a CamGirl...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
cherriebomb
Im curious tho...Aria and Laurie...do you guys share details with your guys? Like say you had a custy that was a weirdo one day, or had a cam2cam that grossed you out, or even a hot cam2cam guy....do you tell them?
I mostly share the really funny or goofy stuff. :) I probably talk about it about as much as he talks about his work. Most of it's pretty routine.
The fact that a guy is paying me makes him a customer so eh, I just don't get turned on by the whole concept of that. I'm concentrating on giving my customer what he's paying for and how I look on cam, making sure I catch the sexiest hottest angles.
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Re: Having a relationship as a CamGirl...
Oh hell no I dont give him details! He was soooo violently against me camming, but over the past couple of months is giving it all he has to be supportive of my choice. I don't tell him jack shit unless it's how much money I made or something super funny. He wants me to be happy though, so he motivates me to work when I'm lazy, cheers me on when I have good money days, pampers me when I feel burned out and need a break... Wow I'm sorry I must marry the perfect man in the world now! Totally forgot what the question was...
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Re: Having a relationship as a CamGirl...
Hahah, thanks guys! Ive been wondering just how much you ladies told your SO's about the day to day cam girl stuff. Thats awesome Aria! I brag about mine too lol. He treats me good hes graduating mechanical engineering school in a month and is the most motivated, honest, funniest, fine ass man Ive ever met. Im a healthier, happier girl because of him. I cant believe its gonna be 6 years soon :)
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Re: Having a relationship as a CamGirl...
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Re: Having a relationship as a CamGirl...
That is so cool Sexi! What year is he? Thank god mine only has a month to go. I have sooo much respect and admiration for my bf after seeing all the classes he takes. Heat transfer, Physics, Controls, Kinematics, Thermo....I mean holy fuck. Hes gotten all A's and Bs too. Hes a damn genius. Cant cook to save his life though haha.
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Re: Having a relationship as a CamGirl...
My boy is in his junior year. His course load is CRAZY! I thought my major required a lot, but the requirements for his are unbelievable!
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Re: Having a relationship as a CamGirl...
My boyfriend is sooooo turned on by my camming. He loves hearing all about it all the time. When he's away he jerks of to my camming stories, on cam for me of course! lol Thank god I like watching men jerk off;)
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Re: Having a relationship as a CamGirl...
I forget to tell you that I am never sore from camming because I make sure not use fat toys, but my boyfriend has a monster in his pants, so I have to take days off because I'm sore from real life sex.
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Re: Having a relationship as a CamGirl...
Quote:
Originally Posted by
nadia29
I forget to tell you that I am never sore from camming because I make sure not use fat toys, but my boyfriend has a monster in his pants, so I have to take days off because I'm sore from real life sex.
Hahaha...that's so funny!!
Aww, see I just joined this forum but I'm already liking you girls!! It's so good to hear that you really can have a normal relationship while camming and the two don't get mixed together.
He's such a great guy - I never would have been secure in a relationship to tell them about camming but he has been so supportive about it...and these posts are making me realize how great that is in a relationship! Aww I'm wanting to drive over to his house to jump on top of him just thinking about it.....yea, maybe I don't have to worry about it affecting our sex life ;)
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Re: Having a relationship as a CamGirl...
When I have a good day on cam, Im actually more horny lol. I have a pretty high sex drive anyway but I definitely think all the guys complimenting you just makes you feel sexier in general. In a weird way I think its helped my self esteem, which in turn helps my relationship.
Welcome to SW Kami! :)
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Re: Having a relationship as a CamGirl...
My man loves all the little details.
Whenever I'm about to get to work he's like, "hot bb".
He likes hearing about all the fetish stuff, or my impersonations of various masturbators.
If I'm not listening to his day at work story (I take pain meds and am always kind of loopy) he's like, "yeah, so then I told him to fist his ass..." or "first sgt then pulled out his 17 inch cock". And yes, these sentences do get my attention :(
He doesn't mind anything I do, but he does seem to be extremely horny if I'm working while he's home. Sex is fine. He works loooong shifts so if we both work neither of us want anything to do with sex, and since we usually coordinate days off, we do the rabbit thing then.
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Re: Having a relationship as a CamGirl...
Wow i was trying to view this thread to see how other girls do it. I personally can't date while I cam. It's really hard for me to see men outside of this world. I haven't faked a cam session at all. Never really knew how to do that so I go in it with 110%. I just barely read the thread about the squirting cock and that's something I really want to try. Lol that would be easily loads right there.
On the dating aspect I just can't see myself spending time with a man that wants to have sex knowing that another man will be glad to pay for it on cam. I guess I feel like they are some how getting over on me in a way. If something goes wrong with real sex down below then I'm out of work and they are not going to compensate me for that time that I'm not making an income. So to me this has been hard. I've been thinking about it off and on and I just can't get there yet. Perhaps with another year in the industry I'll feel different. BTW I'm 100% heterosexual.
When I do my shows I really go out and enjoy them and have the most fun, which has kept me in pretty good spirits about camming.
With phone sex I tried to do real orgasms a few times, but the funny thing was many of these old men seemed to not like it, Almost as if they got slightly jealous. So I started faking it over the phone, Also realizing that they weren't paying much to hear me have a real orgasm I stopped doing that all together. Or If the guy says come for me in 3 minutes I actually say to him "really" and do the most obviously fake orgasm just to prove my point . Like umm yeah how many women do you know orgasm in 3 mins from phone sex? And the guy spends the next 5 minutes trying to make sure I really came. How stupid.
Ok sorry didn't mean to derail here.
I will give it some more time before I can date or even have a bf while I do this.
What made me wonder about dating was when I dated and told the guy I wasn't ready for sex for some time. I noticed many were not to happy with this and dating didn't go anywhere. So it was sex that they were after , yet the put up the whole let's talk and get to know each other vibe. I also want to add that I applaud the women that can do both webcamming, relationship and still add in the horrid feminine monthly arrival. I just can't seem to juggle all of that because right after the female arrival , I feel like ooh great I can work again!! So to think a guy would be waiting for me to be able to have sex with him would piss me off.
But with time I may soften my views and I thank the ladies that posted this here. It gives me hope for a future time in the arms of some hottie guy:)
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Re: Having a relationship as a CamGirl...
^^^^ You need a life outside of this. This is just a job.
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Re: Having a relationship as a CamGirl...
^^^^^^True but having a bf or dating a man doesn't define having a life either. So I do have a life outside of this "job"which I really do enjoy.
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Re: Having a relationship as a CamGirl...
My bf and I BOTH do webcam yet we still manage to have sex once a day usually, sometimes more. MOST of the time I love it even if I've been doing a lot of webcam that day. We are VERY sexually compatible so if we weren't in this industry we'd probably be screwing at every possible moment. :D I usually fake orgasms on webcam, although if I'm in a private long enough I might have a real one... it's pretty normal for me to cum once a day on cam, although they're usually forced and not that great.
We got into webcam together so there was no awkwardness or drama about it. He does get jealous sometimes, but I find that he gets more jealous when I'm just talking or "hanging out" with guys on MFC or on MyGirlFund... he'd rather me just be sexual ONLY and not "make friends" with any of my regulars. He doesn't want me to genuinely like any of the guys or have fun joking around with them, etc. I tell him SOME details, because we both do webcam so we're able to share with each other. A few times I have gotten too comfortable with him and revealed too much, then he would get mopey or angry. But mostly he's a champ.
I would love to do couples cam with him but so far he's not digging the idea... Bummer.
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Re: Having a relationship as a CamGirl...
Aww, you gotta work on him for couples cam Smurfette! I bet you guys would bank! Also, how ridiculous am I? I dont like my bf looking at porn hahah. Im a jealous girl what can I say? Plus I think if guys are wanking to porn all the time (at least with mine) that means less sex for me, and thats not cool. So we came to a mutual agreement that he doesnt look at it anymore. Obviously if he said no, I wouldnt have forced the issue but he agreed because he admitted that it was kinda silly. I do realize this is hypocritical but each relationship is different so you gotta do what works for you :)
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Re: Having a relationship as a CamGirl...
I started in the industry doing modeling for adult stuff and my boyfriend is a photographer who hired me for a shoot. I'd be pretty goddamned pissed at him if he ever got jealous or annoyed with me for doing some work stuff.
I actually wish that he'd do couples shows with me. I love him so much and he's so good in bed and I think he's so hot, I just want to show him off! LOL He says, "I'm behind the camera for a reason." *heavy sigh* Right there with you Smurfette.
Anyway. He doesn't like to come into the room while I'm camming. I'd think it would be hot if he watched and jerked off watching me cam but A) He doesn't like jerking off in front of me, "It's a private thing. You don't watch." and B) He finds nothing arousing about watching me perform for someone else. "Maybe if you were doing it for me, but you're doing it for him and I'm just watching." I reply, "But since you're watching I'm doing it for you and he's unaware and we're sneaky which makes it hotter!" He rolls his eyes.
I used to be a super horn dog, bugging him about sex at least once a day and he was always too tired. Now tho, cam does effect my libido. I mean, I'm potentially playing with toys 5 hrs a day, 4 days a week. Add to that I generally cam 7pm to 2amish while he works standard hours so we rarely see each other during the week...I probably only ask for sex once a week now. He's the initiator for the first time in our relationship. LOL! He'll start nuzzling on me and I'll think, "Oh yeah! We COULD totally have sex! A cock that's not plastic could be in me!"
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Re: Having a relationship as a CamGirl...
I guess my guy and i are just deviants. We've been together for about 3 years and hes never been jealous about anything i've done. I've only been camming for a few weeks (and thanks to the girls on the forum im now making money at it lol) but we talk about everything. I might not give him a blow by blow commentary but anything amusing or memorable I tell him about, just like he tells me about his day at work. We both enjoy are jobs and enjoy each other being happy. However, I get all weirded out if hes at home while im working so it just depends on what your both comfortable with.
cherriebomb i think i lvoe you lol, I thought i was the only girl that didnt want my boyfriend wanking because i saw it as less sex for me hahahah
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Re: Having a relationship as a CamGirl...
My relationship's similar. We've been together for 4 years and he finds the camming to be pretty hot. I avoid having screaming orgasms while he's in the apartment, just because it's awkward, but he loves knowing that I'm stripping down and playing with strangers. But we're both pervs - I love that he's open-minded and horny, and he loves that I'm pretty much the same.
As for how camming affects my sex drive, it both boosts it and diminishes it, depending on the day. Some days, I just get super turned-on and pounce on my boyfriend when I'm done. Other days, I overdo it a little and my pussy needs a break. And when I have an off day, when someone shady passes through my room and creeps me out, I love that when I shut down my computer, I have someone stable, loving, and grounded to be with.
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Re: Having a relationship as a CamGirl...
Here your preferite intruder, the euro cam site owner, posting.
By the way a relationship as a cam site owner is also not so easy, probably not very different from being a guy who photo shoot porn, the girls who are not in the adult biz will think we're cheating pervs, and for same reason so often we (can site owners or adult directors and photographers) and up dating a model, basically the issue is with others who think bad of us eventually.
I had a wife years ago, not a model at all, and I must give credit to her for being super cool at me giving direction to naked blondes on screen all day about photoshoots and then cam stuff, she just said at times with half fun half surrender voice: "she's more pretty then me?" or specifically when I was photoshopping asses or tits for bio pages "her tits better then mine eh". But really she knew it was just work and we divorced for something else and she not even said a word about nude blondes while we divorce, basically we did not match widely.
However, after I had lots of bad luck 100% cause of the job, simply I can't hide what I do to a girl I date, and here 9 out of 10 girls will not be ok with me and my 400 cam girl contacts in yahoo messenger, popping always to ask this and that, and some time calling me to support like how to click a button or not understood billing, when still naked in site - ok I not even figure out she's naked and she too, but imagine a gf here who see scene, his bf chat with naked employee, seems a flirt or simply odd.
So when I go out maybe meet nice girl we talk all goes well then asks what I do well... I feel like shit as I know 9 out of 10 will do bad face and she's so probably one of them... at start I say bullshit such as internet but then at some stage I tell always and 9 out of 10 times goes bad (either say is not ok, or say is ok then after a while she figure she can't stand with it really), no matter I not flirt cam girls for sure if I have a gf.
Also there's always that 1% of cam girls who are actually flirty with the cam site owner, is like a fetish they have, out of 400 that's 4 of them which is more then enough to cause issues. Three years ago the #1 of cam girl (by sales at site I had at the time) I was very proud of, ended up saying me she loved me since months. I got surprised, she said all started when I helped her to setup her cam or so, seems my patience done it, but then she say nothing, until maybe I chatted her a little more and maybe I told her of a gf I had. Damn I had a gf who already was very pissed at my job, then this #1 cam girl starts to send me super sad one-emoticon cry messages every hour as I not be his bf. I explain I admire her professionally but I have a gf and she live super far and that's silly thing basically. But she stop to eat - after a month some customer start to email me asking what's with her she's skeleton - then she quit camming. Damn and I broke with the gf I had as I also told of this girl and she sort of think I say because I feel guilty as instead I flirted back (which never was the case or she not stop eat don't you think).
One hilarious thing it is, most of customers of the site thinks I am doing parties with lots of naked girls all days, like Hefner of Playboy or so, well they also believe all the cam girls have no bf while I know well (as they tell me being not a customer) they're full of bf's or married, as well as I am not partying with girls as that would be boring to do every day and one for life is more then enough, and not even easy to find.
About date a cam girl (for real lol - I know we're all about fake stuff I even advice girls how to be better liars, they ask me advice!?), well the first let's say 5 years I had run cam sites I dated no one and not even mini-flirted back a chat, been totally professional even asocial. Partly as that looks cheap pimp schema, partly as I was probably thinking the cam girls are pervs or so. Then in many years I got to know cam girls as mostly normal people with bf's and husbands, also being cam girl is like be brunette or blonde, means nothing particular, therere's the bitch cam girl and the saint cam girl, there's every type of person be a cam girl is not really mean nothing in particular, is like be a nurse, are all nurses same?
So well partly as I got frustrated by prejudice and suspects from local girls not liking my job, partly by finding that there's so decent and cool girls doing cams, I ended up dating a cam girl for a while, she sure not complained on my job, she even helped me with the site in some ways, and I had not particular issues in her doing cam shows, altough I admit I was feeling strange at start. Especially she showing me mails from fans and even asking me how to fool them better with replies I feeled as a pimp really, but well is less bad then kill cat puppies, no?
I shown her to my parents, who knew what she do, and was all ok, my parents are cool, I hide this stuff only to grandma's, for their own safety.
She told me she got a local guy call her whore (at a restaurant in a dinner!) as soon as she was sincere enough to tell him something about her camming job, sure she had issues too.
She being form other country so we lived together shortly then we both had issues while far and somewhat all frozen (I not even know where she is now?), but if she was local I am positive it worked. I think love needs to live together or meet often... the virtual far thing is a shit situation that is suitable for cam biz or shy people, ok to know people but then must meet and keep out of the virtual or it gets a video game or a matrix movie.
On a side note when the info on who my gf leaked, lots other cam girls of site started to think I liked big tits as she have big tits, that was funny as her tits size is accidental (my ex wife had super small, then what), but well there's free gossip rights so that's it.
So in general from my experience I would say an adult biz worker (either performer or manager / photographer of performers) will be envied as supposedly having lots more sex with more cute people then normal, while in reality since that's the job, often in free time does all except sex or watch porn (for example if I see a naked girl in tv it reminds me the job and I get bored immediately! Or I start to think at her in terms of "would she get many private" and again I sure don't get horny). Additionally, this envoy includes suspect and fear for scandal for any partner as side effect. Who you date will think it 100 times before to trust someone in adult biz or tell friends hey I am with that kind of person.
So in reality I think adult biz workers have less and more shitty and complicated relationships then average persons (with minor benefit of have to do with some more pretties and handsome flirts which however leave mood more in shit then in happyness on long term). Due to this, it seems wise enough to date people in same biz, the chanche % of getting a match is higher as can't complain of each other's job and this eliminate the issue of 9 out of 10 who not like this job. Still if that's to be remote and far relationship can collapse 9 out of 10 as that's too virtual and when need the hugs these don't pass via internet, the real ones :)
My 2 euro cents