How to keep from being the too cool girl?
I’m having trouble timing the asking of my dances. A lot guys who come into the club where I work need to be talked to for at least a couple sets before they become comfortable enough to go for dances because they don’t like “hustlers” and are wary of anyone being one. But too often, I get to the point where I sense them loosening up and am getting ready to lead into my close, and they say something along the lines of “You’re different from the other girls here. You haven’t asked me for a dance yet. You don’t really care about the money, do you? That’s really cool of you. I wish the other girls were as chill as you were.”
….I know they mean it as a compliment, but yeah, I do care about the money. And once they say something like this, I don’t know how to ask for a dance! I tried once saying “Oh, well, I was just about to ask if you’d like a dance. I just figured we could chat a little first and relax.” But that wasn’t really a close, and he basically ignored the comment altogether and I was left feeling like I was defeated and never going to get a dance now…
How do you balance loosening a guy up without becoming the cool girl who “doesn’t want money” :O? And once they say something like this, is there any way to recover and ask for a dance anyway or should I just get up and leave since it’s killed all hope?
Re: How to keep from being the too cool girl?
"Well I like to spend some time getting to know each other first... from the sound of it you've already got me figured out so it must be time to head to the back."
Re: How to keep from being the too cool girl?
"Well that's just because I had to make sure YOU were cool enough to hang out with BEFORE I asked you. Now that we've had a chance to talk, it sounds like we're both ready. Let's go!"
Re: How to keep from being the too cool girl?
usually when guys say stuff like that, it's to shut you down, so you'll feel compelled to keep playing cool, so they can keep wasting your time for free.
basically, stop being the cool girl.