Funny things you've said to customers
Ether during a show, or to them cause they pissed you off.. i asked because I always used to worry about them leaving bad remarks if i made them mad, but last night I didnt give a fuck.. One guy comes into my happy hour ...
Him: Gag on it you Cow!
Me: Now, How Am I post to gag on it when your cock is to small??
He left right after I said that heheheh
SPH Guy comes in to my room and were going on.. then at the last moment I said.
I would suck your cock, but it reminds me to much of a gummy worm. He started to bust up laughing on cam..
How about you anything you remember that was funny to you or worth sharing?? ;)
Re: Funny things you've said to customers
Oh god, Im such a smart ass theres too many to post here but heres a few I can think of of the top of my head:
Him: Want to see my six pack bb?
Me: Ew, no. I HATE beer. So gross
Him: Can you squirt bb?
Me: Yep, I'll show you *grabs squirt bottle and squirts it
Him: weird
Re: Funny things you've said to customers
Guy: you are fat
Me: I know I am
Guy: and ugly
Me: cool
Me: Anything else?
Guy: and too old for this line of work
Guy: 4 eyes
Guy: slut
Me: uh huh…
Guy: what
Me: why are you still here if you dislike me?
another time...
Customer: do u play with candles
Me: As in, cover myself with wax? No.
Me: Getting you to cover yourself? Yes.
Customer: masturbate with them
Me: Guess you didn’t read the profile?
Customer: read some of it
Customer leaves the room
Re: Funny things you've said to customers
Quote:
Originally Posted by
starrgirl81
Him: Gag on it you Cow!
Me: Now, How Am I post to gag on it when your cock is to small??
He left right after I said that heheheh
Muahahahahaha! Too good. You should check out the small-cock-humiliation market, for serious.
Re: Funny things you've said to customers
Tonight:
Me: What can I do to make your night better, dear? =)
Him: Well...I love tits...
Me: Two jugs coming right up, sir.
Seriously. I sell sex, not jokes. I should restrain myself. XD
Re: Funny things you've said to customers
It's not so much something I said.... well, maybe.
Customer: You look like a girl from a Shakespeare play! Classic!
Me: Oh yeah?
Customer: Know shakespeare?
Me: (It's late in my shift) Take my pvt and I'll recite. I'm sure I've got at least 15 minutes of txt memorized.
Customer: Merchant of Venice?
Me: Yes
PRIVATE
Me: You see me, Lord Bassanio, where I stand/such as I am. But for myself alone/ I would not be ambitious in my wish/ to wish myself much better....
I did the entire monologue. He didn't let me keep going, but he was impressed, nonetheless.
Not often you get to see a naked hot chick give a reasonably good performance of Portia.
Re: Funny things you've said to customers
Anyone that is rude to me I just tell them to go kill themselves and ignore them. It's a little harsh but works every time.
Re: Funny things you've said to customers
Quote:
Originally Posted by
The Contessa
It's not so much something I said.... well, maybe.
Customer: You look like a girl from a Shakespeare play! Classic!
Me: Oh yeah?
Customer: Know shakespeare?
Me: (It's late in my shift) Take my pvt and I'll recite. I'm sure I've got at least 15 minutes of txt memorized.
Customer: Merchant of Venice?
Me: Yes
PRIVATE
Me: You see me, Lord Bassanio, where I stand/such as I am. But for myself alone/ I would not be ambitious in my wish/ to wish myself much better....
I did the entire monologue. He didn't let me keep going, but he was impressed, nonetheless.
Not often you get to see a naked hot chick give a reasonably good performance of Portia.
Marry me?
Re: Funny things you've said to customers
^^^Lolz! Sex, you're hysterical, I love you!
Re: Funny things you've said to customers
dumbass "open tits bb"
me "open boner bb.."
the guy left lmao. win
Re: Funny things you've said to customers
A guy comes in free chat:
Him: Hoooollllllaaaaaa
Me: Hey (screen name)
Him: Hable Espanoil? (notice how he spells this all wrong)
Me: No habla espanol .. sorry
Him: speak no english.
Him: See ass bb plz
Me: For mucho dinero bb...
Him: I thought you didn't speak spanish?
Me: I thought you didn't speak english.
Customer leaves.
As if speaking another language would convince me to give a freebie. :rolls eyes:
Re: Funny things you've said to customers
^^ Hahahahaha! Friggin priceless!