-
Not comfortable not being the top girl anymore... how do i deal?
I do private parties but no one is ever in that section and this probably pertains to clubs to so i'm gonna post here.
i was the #1 girl in my company for about 7 months, meaning that i got first priority for shows--the best shows & the most shows. i was loving it and felt like i deserved it because i bust my ass, the guys love me, and i was the only girl left over from the summer (the rest had gotten fired for doing stupid shit).
a while back i posted about how i helped a friend get a job and then she started talking shit about me and became a total asshole... and its like ok if it wasn't for me you wouldn't be able to pay your rent or even buy groceries... they straightened her out and she cut the shit and i didn't hear from her/about her for a while.
for the past 2 weeks she has basically been the top girl. it REALLY pisses me off because i have busted my ass and been loyal to the company since day 1, and if it wasn't for me, she wouldn't even be here. she's like 5'4 and weighs 100 pounds, works out 3 hours a day, and is a "vegetarian", which translates into salad and redbull and adderall. i worked with her last night with the top driver (who I used to always be with) and i was just so depressed about it and out of it that i couldn't even concentrate on dancing. i didn't do BAD but you could tell that something was up with me mentally.
i hate it. i can't handle not being the top girl, nevermind with this bitch being the top girl now. i just don't know what to do. i have a good body and got a boob job in november, but i prolly need to upgrade to a brazillian body like the video Will posted in the body business. and eat only salad and work out 3 hours a day and take adderall to suppress my appetite. (sarcasm)
i just don't know what to do :/ feel so helpless
-
Re: Not comfortable not being the top girl anymore... how do i deal?
I'm in a weird situation myself actually. There are 2 of us at the club that have been there the longest. We used to be the best dancers and top earners and get special treatment (taken out to dnner by the boss andhis wife, glasses of the best champagne not the crappy shit).
This year they brought in a lot more new girls. Some with a lot of experience who make good money, but I don't mind that because they're professional and work hard for their money. They also brought in new girls that had never danced. So we taught them to dance, showed them the ropes, helped them out. They make fuck all money still but suddenly theyre best friends with my bosses.
So now I'm not top earner, best dancer OR favourite girl.
Its kinda weird, but all you can do when that happens is focus on yourself and keep working hard and at least you can live with the satisfaction that your money is hard earned and deserved.
-
Re: Not comfortable not being the top girl anymore... how do i deal?
thank you for sharing that, i'm glad i'm not hte only one this has happened to... especially where we both taught them all they know.... i don't know what to do. i HATE being #2. i can't focus and work as hard when i'm so depressed about not being #1. i almost feel like i need to be #1 or i wont be able to deal with stripping....
-
Re: Not comfortable not being the top girl anymore... how do i deal?
I remember one new girl last year that I taught to dance, she was riding the new girl wave and had a couple of good nights with VIPs. She offered me a lift home after and as we were chatting I said 'You're doing really well, good job on the VIPs! I don't get those so often at the moment' and she turned to me and said 'Don't worry, you'll get it one day'
My jaw dropped. I couldn't believe my ears. And this WAS when I was top girl!!
-
Re: Not comfortable not being the top girl anymore... how do i deal?
yeah. what a bitch. that was definitely meant to be a jab. i wish i wasn't so nice of a person so i could do those little jabs to these dumb bitches lol.
i'm just pissed and don't know what to do. i want to be top girl again. idk why she is now.
-
Re: Not comfortable not being the top girl anymore... how do i deal?
wow....spoiled much?
get your head out of the clouds....suck it up and go make some money....you are not the queen
-
Re: Not comfortable not being the top girl anymore... how do i deal?
Interesting thread.
I think you guys did the right things helping show the girls the basic ropes. When I first started dancing the housemum and other dancers were good to me. They gave me my first pair of 5" dancer heels on the house, showed me some pole tricks and taught me the basics of lapdancing. Because of them, I am grateful for the gentle introduction I got to the strip world.
I don't know how far you girls went in helping these other dancers, but I would say if you did the above, you are good people (you'd be lucky to even get a smile out of other dancers being a new girl at a club nowadays). But where I would personally draw the line is teaching a new dancer the ins and outs of how to 'hustle'. Might sound harsh, but whether you like it or not as long as you share the same club/agency, you are competitors : this is sales and you always have to stay ahead of the competition. I have directed some stripper friends to SW to read Hustle Hut but if I work with them, I'm not going to give them a breakdown of exactly what I do on the floor. If your competitors know your hustle inside-out, you have lost your competitive advantage. It's as simple as that.
Also remember that you can't be top forever - someone somewhere will outdo you at some point. It can sting, but don't look at it as a reason to wallow in self pity, but as a reason to revise and sharpen your hustle. That's how constructive dancers do it. ;)
-
Re: Not comfortable not being the top girl anymore... how do i deal?
If it bothers you that much, then do what you can to get back to Top girl again. What is it exactly that determines 'top girl'? Does that mean you're the number one requested girl or the number one $$$ making girl? Is it a combination of things?
Let us know more info about it and maybe we can help you out. There's got to be a way to climb back up.
Or, you and you ex-friend can try and put your differences aside for the sake of work and both of you work together as much as your agency will allow - then you'll both be 'Top Girl".
-
Re: Not comfortable not being the top girl anymore... how do i deal?
the real question is why do you want to be "top girl?"
is she really making that much more money than you?
or is it really just something in your head that tells you "i need to be top and number one"
if it is only about money then i guess i can understand....
if its all in your head then im sorry to say you are just a spoiled little girl....lol
-
Re: Not comfortable not being the top girl anymore... how do i deal?
^I don't think she's spoiled for wanting to be the best. I think she's hardworking. We're not talking about top girl at the playboy mansions where there isn't a lot of work involved; we're talking about top girl at a company, where more attention to diet, exercise, hustling tips, time spent on appearance, longer hours out, more energy expended and working harder translates into a higher ranking in that company and more $$$.
At least that's what I would hope would make someone top girl.
I don't think wanting to be the best makes someone spoiled unless they're not willing to work for it.
-
Re: Not comfortable not being the top girl anymore... how do i deal?
Shit happens. You got knocked on your ass. Get up, dust it off and deal with it. -_-
I can understand, though.All you can do is get back up.
-
Re: Not comfortable not being the top girl anymore... how do i deal?
i'm figuring out how to deal with it. top girl is basically a combo of most requested/hottest/putting on the best show. i have a good body as it is but i'm tripling my workouts. i'm not fat by any means, but i'm still looking into getting laser lipo so that i can have as little body fat as possible... talked to my boss and didn't bitch but i was just like i want to make sure that everything's ok, if there's anything i can do to improve and put on a better show let me know. he basically said that i'm fine and know what i'm doing and he has to drive other girls every once in a while to make sure THEY know what they're doing. who knows, it's prolly bs. i just have to figure out more ways to stay on top of my game. i put on a killer show and the guys always request me back so that isn't a problem. i keep my hair, nails, skin, and body in tip top shape.
i guess it stings more because she WAS my friend and i got her into doing this, so i'm kicking myself now.
i was going to start another thread about this but i'll just keep it here.
we all have our beauty routines. what are some things we can do to kick it up a notch? go the extra mile? stay ahead of our competition, i suppose.
for me, i've been thinking about laser lipo... and i've already gotten boobs and laser hair removal.
-
Re: Not comfortable not being the top girl anymore... how do i deal?
^It's the stuff 'normal women' normally can't get. Boobs, Lipo, laser facial treatments, lip injections.....
If it's affordable or easily accessible then other, normal women have it. Just gotta walk that fine line of having enough to not TOO much - ya'know?
I mean, I'm all for working on your hustle and in private parties you could really excel in the area of creativity (best games, props, funny quips, etc); but in the end it helps to look like a Barbie. A really sexy Barbie. Sounds like you're already doing well with the actual party activites so if you can work on your body girl - do it!
But I've seen your pictures - you look great!
-
Re: Not comfortable not being the top girl anymore... how do i deal?
I was never into lipo or anything (knew a girl who died from loose fat blocking an artery in her brain after lipo), but I used to get up every morning and run 6 miles before brekky. Then, weights and stairmaster every single night. I was probably a bit overboard, but a great workout routine kept me top girl till I was way past my prime.
I was also a veggie and would go on diets of 2 weeks, weekdays only of mostly raw fruits and veggies, with one small piece of whole grain bread thrown in there and a dash of healthy fat (avocado or Olive Oil, not those unproven medium-long chain fatty acids like coconut oil....not for me until actual science proves they aren't spilling right out of my lymphatic system and heading straight for my heart.) Did this once or twice a year and it REALLY leaned me out. 10 days a year isn't much to keep your body in tip-top shape.
I don't think being a veggie works out well for everyone though. You have to know your complimentary amino acids, eat them together, realize eggs are the highest quality protein, etc. So for most peeps, maybe a mostly raw fruits and veggies only plan with 3-4 oz of lean chicken or fish thrown in there? Being super strict for a short time is easier for me at least. I eat healthy all the time, but it's just simpler to really crack down every now and then than to watch every bite I eat every day.
-
Re: Not comfortable not being the top girl anymore... how do i deal?
i could never go vegetarian, but i definitely think cutting the protein in half and doubling the veggies is a good idea...
i don't know if i'm going to do private parties anymore. there is more to it than not being "the top girl" that i can't discuss on here... i'm thinking about trying clubs. but everyone knows new england clubs aren't exactly where the money's at.
even if it isn't, i feel like i'd rather know when my shifts are, get in, make my money, and go home. rather than going 4 hours away sometimes, getting the call at 10 pm on a wednesday "leave your house NOW we have a show" and then get home at 3-4 am and have class the next day. there's a lot of bs about who gets what shows, who gets the most shows, who works with who, etc.
i haven't worked in a club but from reading on here i think it would be more competition. when i'm at a show, i only compete with 1 girl (its usually a 2 girl show). when you are at a club, you compete with however many dancers are at the club. but maybe it won't be so different cuz all 16-20 girls in my agency are all competing for the top spot and for the most shows....
who knows. i feel like i just need to try something different and what i've mentioned above is only like 10% of the bs i'm dealing with right now. luckily i make a lot of money but it doesnt matter how much money i have if i'm not happy....
-
Re: Not comfortable not being the top girl anymore... how do i deal?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
miss1dancypants
i could never go vegetarian, but i definitely think cutting the protein in half and doubling the veggies is a good idea...
i don't know if i'm going to do private parties anymore. there is more to it than not being "the top girl" that i can't discuss on here... i'm thinking about trying clubs. but everyone knows new england clubs aren't exactly where the money's at.
even if it isn't, i feel like i'd rather know when my shifts are, get in, make my money, and go home. rather than going 4 hours away sometimes, getting the call at 10 pm on a wednesday "leave your house NOW we have a show" and then get home at 3-4 am and have class the next day. there's a lot of bs about who gets what shows, who gets the most shows, who works with who, etc.
i haven't worked in a club but from reading on here i think it would be more competition. when i'm at a show, i only compete with 1 girl (its usually a 2 girl show). when you are at a club, you compete with however many dancers are at the club. but maybe it won't be so different cuz all 16-20 girls in my agency are all competing for the top spot and for the most shows....
who knows. i feel like i just need to try something different and what i've mentioned above is only like 10% of the bs i'm dealing with right now. luckily i make a lot of money but it doesnt matter how much money i have if i'm not happy....
no offense but going by everything you are saying in this post and in this thread i really think you are in the wrong industry entirely....you sound like you want everything for nothing....you want to be the best.....be the top girl....make alot of money....but it does not seem like you really want to work hard enough for it....
-
Re: Not comfortable not being the top girl anymore... how do i deal?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Sylvia
no offense but going by everything you are saying in this post and in this thread i really think you are in the wrong industry entirely....you sound like you want everything for nothing....you want to be the best.....be the top girl....make alot of money....but it does not seem like you really want to work hard enough for it....
i can see how you can think that but i do work very hard... and i think everyone wants to be the best at what they do and make a lot of money... if we didn't we probably wouldn't work in the adult industry. i work VERY hard. i spend more time working and doing stuff to improve my shows and my work (working out, boob job, promoting my company when i'm not working) than i do on my schoolwork and i am a full time student. i'm sorry i came off that way, i didn't mean to.
i'm sure some people can relate, where you go from getting all the work and being the top girl for a certain amount of time, to having more than 1 top girl at your club/company and its an adjustment.
sorry for the misunderstanding but i appreciate the input.
-
Re: Not comfortable not being the top girl anymore... how do i deal?
Ugh I'm in a rut too. Used to be one of the top girls in the club for YEARS, now it feels like I'm at the bottom
But that's my own fault for not keeping up with the competition and getting too comfortable at my club.
My advice is to go to work with a good attitude, even if that's nit how u really feel. Put on a smile, maybe change your look up a bit. Get new outfits.RECREATE yourself and the image that y are selling if u can
When at work pretend that your job makes u happy and ecstatic and that there's nothing else you'd rather be doing. Eventually you will also start to feel like that and customers will notice this as well. A good/happy attitude is contagious.
-
Re: Not comfortable not being the top girl anymore... how do i deal?
Burnout us inevitable in this industry which is why its so helpful to always recreate and reinvent yourself, never stay stagnant.
By the time the girl who is at the top now gets burntout or customers get tired of her, YOU will be able to sweep in and take her place, so start getting ready for that.
Not being the top girl/ top hustler is not the end of the world. In fact, its a good lesson. Learn what u can from it. I bet in no time you will be back being the top girl.
-
Re: Not comfortable not being the top girl anymore... how do i deal?
Oh and another thing, you've commented three times already Sylvia with nothing helpful to say. We get it, u think the OP is spoiled and not cut out for this industry. I'm actually even questioning whether you are a dancer or not based on your posts; you sure sound like a club manager or some other disgruntled male employee.
Now leave this thread geez
-
Re: Not comfortable not being the top girl anymore... how do i deal?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Elusive21
Oh and another thing, you've commented three times already Sylvia with nothing helpful to say. We get it, u think the OP is spoiled and not cut out for this industry. I'm actually even questioning whether you are a dancer or not based on your posts; you sure sound like a club manager or some other disgruntled male employee.
Now leave this thread geez
yeah i noticed that too. i went and read her previous posts and she basically had nothing good to say about anyone or whatever they were posting. hmmm thats sad.
i think it's a good time for me to take a break. i only have 4 weeks left of school, its crunch time at the end of the semester. i'm gonna focus on school then go with a fresh start in about a month.
-
Re: Not comfortable not being the top girl anymore... how do i deal?
Being the top girl, at least for me, is something that comes and goes.
Every time a "new" Moby Dick (actually an older dancer going back to dancing in order to lose weight in a few weeks) comes by, she becomes the new top girl. The same every time an "extras" girl works the same day as I'm working. Is kinda tough to compete against the likes of those; I mean, the customers feel they're paying less for "more" (as in paying almost nothing to see bigger boobs or paying less to see a girl fapping on stage).
But when there are no "extras" girls and/or Moby Dicks, especially if a carrier is on port, I become the top girl again.
Right now, three carriers are getting fixed in the yards (so most people are TDY elsewhere), and two are out (one is deployed, Enterprise, and the other one is wandering around the bay, Bush).
-
Re: Not comfortable not being the top girl anymore... how do i deal?
So basically you're a "top girl" when there's no pretty Barbie girls at work or any other competition? ! Lol
-
Re: Not comfortable not being the top girl anymore... how do i deal?
So basically you're a "top girl" when there's no pretty Barbie girls at work or any other competition? ! Lol
-
Re: Not comfortable not being the top girl anymore... how do i deal?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Elusive21
So basically you're a "top girl" when there's no pretty Barbie girls at work or any other competition? ! Lol
kind of funny you say that because at half of the parties i go to they call me barbie (platinum hair, tan, etc) and they love it. so no that is not the issue :)