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new, not going so well..what to say?
So my first day i made about 100 on someone that knew i was new and i guess felt sorry for me and this old guy who just wanted a dance. my problem is conversation. i'll start off with the hey how are you, hows your day going? what do you like to do for fun and after a while it just gets quiet and awkward. my club is upscale and more a of sit down for 20mins and talk and i run out of things to say by the first 5. also it doesnt help that most of them are old and business type so i dont really relate to them ..im also very young and cute looking and i guess its not sexy? im afraid ive invested more money on clothes transporation etc and wont make up for it........help!
btw- its my very first time new to dancing and the girls are very competitive and me with no experience and being shy is not cutting it for me..they all tell me to just stick it out and itll come to me...is that true?
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Re: new, not going so well..what to say?
yeah, you sound like me when I first started. If Its a nice club, you feel safe comfortable in it, stick it out. Maybe you're having trouble adjusting to the industry, its about persona as well. Stop investing in so much outfits right now, until you have adjusted.
I was young and cute looking and my boss was always telling me to put on make up that made me look MORE innocent. I was 18 guys didnt believe me and thought I was 16 which gave me a HUGE complex and so I started to lie about my age and said I was 20!
I found my looks totally did NOT fit my personality and I couldn't play that innocent roll. After a while I just wore what I liked and took on another side of me (alter ego ;) ) and from then on it was all good. I was confident, and guys found that pretty desirable.
You will meet alot of people, go through alot of experiences, learn from it all, because it will only make you smarter and make that money chicky! good luck!
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Re: new, not going so well..what to say?
btw, PLEASE don't feel bad, coz you made money off someone you think feels sorry for you. Even if its true, you're there to make money, so smile. Just dont do what you're not comfortable doing.
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Re: new, not going so well..what to say?
There is no secret or trick. You just need to be SOCIAL. Throw in some flirting and that's all you need. Make conversation about ANYTHING... Just keep talking.
That's it.
Depending on the customer the conversation is light and casually flirtatious, sometimes seriously sexual, sometimes a deep intellectual and philosophical conversation. And then sometimes its a quick "hey, your cute and I know you think I'm hot and your gonna gimme your money so let's go do a dance." Find some common ground and wing it from there.
I think some girls try too hard and it's extremely off putting.
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Re: new, not going so well..what to say?
For conversation try and get to know as much about them as possible, as in just keep asking them questions about them. What do you like to do, do you fish/hunt/workout/enjoy concerts/have pets blah blah blah and when possible say things like then what happened/OMG what did you do then/haha that must of been crazy (lets pretend your talking about there favorite concerts theyve ever been to and they say they went to a rock concert last) have you ever been to XXX club? or seen XXX in concert? they were great when I went..
Just try and keep it rolling by keeping them talking while you come up with new topics or ways to transition it into a sale.
Like if talking about concerts and they went to a rock concert/really like rock I might say "omg the girl on stage always has really fun rock music I think you'd love getting a dance too ;-)"
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Re: new, not going so well..what to say?
Oh and as for them saying it'll come to you, I think it will.. Try and actually come up with an alter ego (you dont need a full story but maybe think of the type of person youve always wanted to be/could enjoy playing the role of for a night) and really take it on.. When Im at the club im not (real name) i am Tara, the hot exotic girl that gets what she wants. It didnt happen at first, it took time to build your real persionality and itll take time to build your alter ego.. Dont get discouraged yet, it wasnt easy for anyone at first.
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Re: new, not going so well..what to say?
I know this is terrible advice: But I have to drink to be nice and socialable. Or at least I currently hold tight on to the belief that I do! Because sober-me is dry and sarcastic. She also thinks so highly of herself she wouldn't be caught dead making small talk with a loser and trying to get a handout! Sober-me when I first started was also very shy, and only got dances because she seemed easy to control.
However, tipsy-me is sociable, fun, sexy, in control, and always has something cute or nice to say. It's weird because if it's busy, I can totally work off my one or two drinks and be dead-sober again but I won't really notice it because I'm in that "mode" of just liking everyone and everything. Caffeine helps too. I tried not drinking alcohol for an entire year to see if it was really a problem but decided at the end of the year that I am just one of those uptight by nature people who needs a a little coaxing to let her hair down.
Like I did great in speech class, acted in plays, I would loooove to read books for kids at the library or something, but when it comes to actual person-to-person conversation I can clam up faster then lickety split!
I guess more responsible advice would be to draaaaw out the convo a bit by being ok with small moments of silence where you're still making him feel special, or that you're wanted at the table. ALSO- Try not to rapid fire the questions as soon as you sit down, mentally calculating how much time the get-to-know-you-phase is taking before the getting-your-money-phase commences. Let that Always Be Closing shit run like a soundtrack in the back of your mind but don't show it, outwardly you need to present that maybe you have all the time in the world and you aren't even in a rush to find out what his hobbies are, ya dig? Thats probably the best advice I can offer. Just adjusting to the stlye of club you're at. Personally I don't do well at those places and need a busy place where nobody expects me to sit and explain my whole crazy life, lol.
P.S.
Do you like how I put "clam" and "lickety split" in the same sentence?
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Re: new, not going so well..what to say?
Thanks for all the advice, today will be my 3rd day..wish me luck :\
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Re: new, not going so well..what to say?
Good luck! Talking to the customers was the hardest thing for me, too, and since I'm not 21 yet I can't even sit with them or anything...so conversation is very limited. I generally just start out by asking, "Are you from around here?" etc. which then leads them to asking me about the same thing. Sometimes I'll talk about how I'm in university or where I'm from originally (pull out the southern accent) or I'll talk about how I wish I lived somewhere more sunny. Just little things but they keep the conversation going and as long as you're sweet and genuinely seem to want to connect with them (even if it's hard) you'll usually find something to discuss.
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Re: new, not going so well..what to say?
I just scan CNN for non controversial current events and the sports stats.
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Re: new, not going so well..what to say?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
peachplumpear
I know this is terrible advice: But I have to drink to be nice and socialable. Or at least I currently hold tight on to the belief that I do! Because sober-me is dry and sarcastic. She also thinks so highly of herself she wouldn't be caught dead making small talk with a loser and trying to get a handout! Sober-me when I first started was also very shy, and only got dances because she seemed easy to control.
However, tipsy-me is sociable, fun, sexy, in control, and always has something cute or nice to say. It's weird because if it's busy, I can totally work off my one or two drinks and be dead-sober again but I won't really notice it because I'm in that "mode" of just liking everyone and everything.
Omg, we're like the same person. I never drank at work until I started working at this shit hole club that was big on conversation and I would just sit by myself while being miserable and looking at all of the ugly dancers and loser customers chit chatting. I started drinking at that place and my money went up, wayyy up. I felt happier too, I wasn't miserable anymore while I was there. But now I'm switching back to my old club where I don't need to drink and hardly need to talk to people =]
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Re: new, not going so well..what to say?
And Mochi, you're being wayyy too hard on yourself. It was your first friggin day! Nobody is a pro at their job on their first day, especially a job like this where you don't exactly go through any training program.
My first day ever stripping was pathetic. I was so scared that I literally stood by the bar the entire time talking to a bouncer. One guy pulled me over to dance for his bachelor party and then one of them got a dance from me. When I was done with that, I went back to standing by the bar for the remainder of the night. The manager asked me to go on stage and I said no cause I was so nervous. After tip out (which was $30), I left with $25 and I was so friggin happy. I called my mom when I left (at 4 in the morning) to tell her my tale of glory but she of course was asleep. I took a picture of me holding the total $55 all fanned out and I sent it to all of my friends that knew I was dancing. They all shared my joy. They asked me how much it was and I of course lied and said it was $250, but nonetheless, I was proud. I would say it took me like 6 months to really get into the swing of things and have my weekly average become a steady high amount. Then I started working at different type of clubs and it's like a whole new learning experience every time cause every club is different. Now I've been dancing for a little under a year and I've been at 5 different clubs and still, each day is a learning experience. But yeah, moral of the story is it WILL come to you and you can't be too hard on yourself.
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Re: new, not going so well..what to say?
We have some fantastic threads on SW about making conversation! Just do a search!
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Re: new, not going so well..what to say?
i guess just act casual. its weird for the customer to answer 32463 quick questions out of which the last one will be asking for a dance. try asking less and more related to the conversation topics he brings up so he feels like youre really listening to him and not just trying to close him 'like the other customers'
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Re: new, not going so well..what to say?
today was alot better! i made around $200!! im so excited. basically all the girls told me during the week its regulars mostly so today i had a drink and didnt take one break! it was on to the next and i think some of them might come back to see me! :) thanks for everyones advice, support, and inspiring words!! ;D
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Re: new, not going so well..what to say?
^ Good job ! I also start with " how is your night going " ect. but sometimes you've got to get the conversation to a sexy place ... like :
" What are your favorite features on a womans body " ?
" Do you like this sparkly outfit ? It's my new outfit. "
You can also try just casually touching them .... like ... not in an over the top way, but a quick brush of their knee or touch their arm like you would in a first date. Try to mimic date flirtation.
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Re: new, not going so well..what to say?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
LexyNYC
And Mochi, you're being wayyy too hard on yourself. It was your first friggin day! Nobody is a pro at their job on their first day, especially a job like this where you don't exactly go through any training program.
My first day ever stripping was pathetic. I was so scared that I literally stood by the bar the entire time talking to a bouncer. One guy pulled me over to dance for his bachelor party and then one of them got a dance from me. When I was done with that, I went back to standing by the bar for the remainder of the night. The manager asked me to go on stage and I said no cause I was so nervous. After tip out (which was $30), I left with $25 and I was so friggin happy. I called my mom when I left (at 4 in the morning) to tell her my tale of glory but she of course was asleep. I took a picture of me holding the total $55 all fanned out and I sent it to all of my friends that knew I was dancing. They all shared my joy. They asked me how much it was and I of course lied and said it was $250, but nonetheless, I was proud. I would say it took me like 6 months to really get into the swing of things and have my weekly average become a steady high amount. Then I started working at different type of clubs and it's like a whole new learning experience every time cause every club is different. Now I've been dancing for a little under a year and I've been at 5 different clubs and still, each day is a learning experience. But yeah, moral of the story is it WILL come to you and you can't be too hard on yourself.
hahaha ;D
sorry but i laughed out loud when i read this
bc i can totally see myself doing this my first nite..or first week
awesome shit!
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Re: new, not going so well..what to say?
I copied and pasted this from a post I wrote awhile back. I think it might help you.
"What really helps me is to not sit in laps. Sit across from the guy whenever you can. Touch knees with him and lean forward. Use eye contact. I've typed this out before, but here's how mine normally go:
Me: Hey cupcake, how's things?
Him: [smiles- thats why I use that opener] Good, and yourself?
Me: I'm going fantastic / great/ wonderful! [strong words] Looks like you could use some company!
Him: [invites me to sit]
The conversation then goes:
Where are you from? Oh [ X Town]? I've been there/ I have a friend there/ I have always wanted to visit/ I'm going there soon to visit! [insert random positive details about his location]. Don't you just love Austin? I fell in love with [ x, x and x] have you been to [x, x and x]? If you have time, you should totally check it out. What do you do/ why are you in town? That sounds awesome! [ insert random praise about occupation - trust me you can always find something, even if it's Burger King: "Oh really? That's cool- I love their veggie burger! Makes it so much easier for me- do you sell a lot of them?" ]
In my experience that usually gives you enough avenues to branch off, or for him to branch off. I usually do 2-3 songs of chat before I pitch. Better success rate. "
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Re: new, not going so well..what to say?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
mochi
So my first day i made about 100 on someone that knew i was new and i guess felt sorry for me and this old guy who just wanted a dance. my problem is conversation. i'll start off with the hey how are you, hows your day going? what do you like to do for fun and after a while it just gets quiet and awkward. my club is upscale and more a of sit down for 20mins and talk and i run out of things to say by the first 5. also it doesnt help that most of them are old and business type so i dont really relate to them ..im also very young and cute looking and i guess its not sexy? im afraid ive invested more money on clothes transporation etc and wont make up for it........help!
btw- its my very first time new to dancing and the girls are very competitive and me with no experience and being shy is not cutting it for me..they all tell me to just stick it out and itll come to me...is that true?
Try playing up the innocent card. Look down, play with your hair, giggle.... act like bionic dream girlfriend.
Whether or not you sell dances has little to do with what you look like..... just behave like a fantasy...