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WTF Ebanned, WTF I say.
So I heard about how great Ebanned is for selling anything so I had my assistant look up what was selling the best on there and we just totally ruined our whole afternoons/evenings/dinners and had nightmares.
We found girls selling: spit in bottles, used condoms, cards/jars/bottles full of boogers, balls of hair from brushes, bathwater, shavings from a girl's pedi-egg, old tampons, old pads, bathroom trash, used cotton buds, used floss, old toothbrushes, pee - in various different sizes from the same girl gallons/liters/pints etc, VOMIT in a bag or jug and poop in any different way one could think of. Usually the poop was baked into baked goods. We saw cookies, brownies and "spice cake". We made the mistake of looking at some of the pictures. Sure enough, one chick had photos of logs of poo in a bowl and then cake mix in that bowl on top of the poop and a completed cake.
Ok. A) it's totally illegal to sell infectious body waste like spit and poop and pee. B)FUCKING EW! C) WTF does your poor postman think?
Can you imagine your friends coming over while you're baking your shit into cookies? The looks on their faces when they smell baking poo?
Who the fuck buys foot callous shavings?! I mean panties, socks, whatever, suck on them, wrap them around your dick, that's fine, I get it...but are you gonna guzzle old skin fluff? Put it on your pasta like some kind of nasty parmesan cheese? Add it to your green bottle of that powdered parmesan? "OMG! Don't eat my cheese!" to your roommate
How much does a gallon of pee cost to ship? How long does it even TAKE you to pee a gallon? Does she put it in her fridge so it doesn't spoil and just carry it to the bathroom every time she's got to go? Does pee spoil? My roommate suggested maybe the chick just has a pee party and has all her friends piss into the jug to fill it up faster when she's got a big order.
And what if you fuck up packaging that shit? Your poor postman..."I think this package is leaking on me" *sniff sniff* "OMFG. It is LITERALLY leaking on me." Heaven forbid the puke bag package busts open. What do you even tell them at the post office, "Anything perishable, fragile or potentially hazardous in this package?" *poker face* ...."Yes."
*shivers* Good on them for being...enterprising? I just don't think I could bring myself to bake my own excrement into a brownie or mail my puke anywhere. I have been in the sex industry for six years now. I thought I was beyond disgust or shock. I am not.
TG, remember what I was saying about being classy? LOL.
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Re: WTF Ebanned, WTF I say.
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Re: WTF Ebanned, WTF I say.
There was a case of a woman who was prosecuted in the US for mailing poo. I wouldn't risk that.
Just panties, probably no problem.
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Re: WTF Ebanned, WTF I say.
seriously best thread ever. lol
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Re: WTF Ebanned, WTF I say.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
goupilandcie
seriously best thread ever. lol
lol you're new, but we are use to hearing this stuff ;D
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Re: WTF Ebanned, WTF I say.
Gross, yes. But your way of describing it gave me lulz. :D You ask good questions, Isobel!
I seriously can't even begin to imagine what ridiculous amount of money would have to be involved for me to handle my own feces as cookie dough.
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Re: WTF Ebanned, WTF I say.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
MistyRose
Gross, yes. But your way of describing it gave me lulz. :D You ask good questions, Isobel!
I seriously can't even begin to imagine what ridiculous amount of money would have to be involved for me to handle my own feces as cookie dough.
ROFLOL, would they truly be "drop" cookies?!
Yeah, there was an add, "I pee in my own face video" and my assistant said, "Surely there's something else she can do. I mean, at what point do you decide that pissing in your own face and recording it on video is the best way to make money?" Same kinda thing. I'm right there with you.
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Re: WTF Ebanned, WTF I say.
I agree this is gross but a female friend of my boyfriend use to sell "extreme food." I believe she used one of those vacuum bag sealers to keep her goodies fresh and sent pictures of her 'making' the food.
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Re: WTF Ebanned, WTF I say.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
IsobelWren
ROFLOL, would they truly be "drop" cookies?!
Yeah, there was an add, "I pee in my own face video" and my assistant said, "Surely there's something else she can do. I mean, at what point do you decide that pissing in your own face and recording it on video is the best way to make money?" Same kinda thing. I'm right there with you.
Yes. I'm curious how people come to these things as well. What does that stream of thoughts look like?
~~Man, working at Target kinda sucks. I'm tired. Is there anything good on TV? On the other hand...I'm hungry. Ha, hungry...this reminds me...some people like to eat shit! Oh, wait! *I* SHIT! I got it! I could sell my shit and earn my living that way. I'll bake it in cookies! Maybe I can have a variety...like peanut butter and shit cookies, shit and cranberries and the classic, shit chips cookies. Yes, my mind is settled now!"~~
?
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Re: WTF Ebanned, WTF I say.
An afterthought:
Sell your shit, whatever. But...don't they get completely disgusted while making "extreme food"? (that's how it's called?) Seriously, what do you do, bake shit cookies, then stick pot roast in the oven while it's still hot?
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Re: WTF Ebanned, WTF I say.
That is disgusting. Your post made me LOL though, you pretty much much put it perfectly!
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Re: WTF Ebanned, WTF I say.
This is like a bad John Waters movie :p
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Re: WTF Ebanned, WTF I say.
Roommate #1: Whatcha makin'?
Roommate #2: Fudge Brownies.
Roommate #1: Yummie! Can I have a taste?
Roommate #2: You probably wouldn't like it. This fudge comes from organic soil.
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Re: WTF Ebanned, WTF I say.
lmao. i just read this to my boyfriend, cringing through the cheese part. oh man, you're silly.
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Re: WTF Ebanned, WTF I say.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
IsobelWren
So I heard about how great Ebanned is for selling anything so I had my assistant look up what was selling the best on there and we just totally ruined our whole afternoons/evenings/dinners and had nightmares.
We found girls selling: spit in bottles, used condoms, cards/jars/bottles full of boogers, balls of hair from brushes, bathwater, shavings from a girl's pedi-egg, old tampons, old pads, bathroom trash, used cotton buds, used floss, old toothbrushes, pee - in various different sizes from the same girl gallons/liters/pints etc, VOMIT in a bag or jug and poop in any different way one could think of. Usually the poop was baked into baked goods. We saw cookies, brownies and "spice cake". We made the mistake of looking at some of the pictures. Sure enough, one chick had photos of logs of poo in a bowl and then cake mix in that bowl on top of the poop and a completed cake.
Ok. A) it's totally illegal to sell infectious body waste like spit and poop and pee. B)FUCKING EW! C) WTF does your poor postman think?
Can you imagine your friends coming over while you're baking your shit into cookies? The looks on their faces when they smell baking poo?
....
That was one of the funniest things i read in a while! Thanks for sharing. Well played. That's some crazy "shit" going on (sorry couldn't resist then pun)...
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Re: WTF Ebanned, WTF I say.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA...
Wait, I think there's more...
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Oh ebanned... *snort*
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Re: WTF Ebanned, WTF I say.
I can imagine the guy at the post office waiting in line for his box of shit cookies
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Re: WTF Ebanned, WTF I say.
If that's how things really are sold I can't imagine being even moderately successful selling something "tame" like socks and panties. They probably look down on that as being super vanilla. Just, wow!
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Re: WTF Ebanned, WTF I say.
well, I guess I am still naive as hell, lol.....I would assume this was a sick joke and that people are actually baking chocolate rolled into mush to look like turds, or filling a gallon jug with warm rock star energy, mountain dew or something..... kinda tastes like what I would imagine a piss punch would, lol:-X:-\ but maybe this would explain the neighbor I had once years ago that I couldn't walk past his door without wanting to vomit.....maybe he was baking shit 4 real.
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Re: WTF Ebanned, WTF I say.
EW!
That's so disgusting that site allows for those people to get away with open selling such sick items. I don't have ebanned account I just saw the link descriptions and I thought those that selling such disturbing stuff request very high amount of money nope most want between $10-20 for those on the site to do this degrade themselves to only make that much speechless. It just show me they're in desperate need for money and very sad they're going so beyond for it.
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Re: WTF Ebanned, WTF I say.
Piss is sterile unless there's something really wrong with you.
I don't understand how people bake shit in their ovens though. Somebody would have to pay me enough money to go out and buy a new damn house to get me to even considering baking up a batch of shit in my oven. I don't even want to imagine how long that smell would linger.
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Re: WTF Ebanned, WTF I say.
Holy shit!
BWAHAHHAHAAAHAHAHAA!!
LMFAO for real!!
"Shit cookies"
I'm laughing my ass off at this thread!
:D
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Re: WTF Ebanned, WTF I say.
The scary thing is, is if that is what is normally being sold on there, what would be the most extreme thing? :O
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Re: WTF Ebanned, WTF I say.
Don't shit where you eat.
Lulz...
I wonder, would this even *exist* without the internet? How would people who want to buy or sell shit brownies even FIND each other without it? Did they even KNOW they wanted to buy shit cookies or spit or pee before they saw it for sale?!
Weirdos selling weird crap to other weirdos. I don't even want to look at what goes on on that site... yiiikes!!!
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Re: WTF Ebanned, WTF I say.
OK, I finally thought of ONE situation where buying poo baked goods would be not disgusting. That coworker who keeps eating your snacks at work.