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Behold, the most pathetic thread in the history of the internet (customer in love)
Yes, I know the majority of you hate these “I’m in love with a stripper” threads. I know I’m not unique snowflake. I know that I am likely not going to get the girl and live happily ever with her. Still…
I went to a SC a couple of months ago with a friend who wanted to have fun after his engagement was called off. I am by no means a regular to any SC; I enjoy them for sure, but I am more of an “event” SC guy (bachelor parties, birthdays, etc.). I don’t think I’ve ever made more than three visits within one calendar year. And my hands do not leave the armrests of the chair I am sitting in.
On this particular night, I got about $500 in private dances from a kind of mousy-but-attractive dancer (my type). Her hustle was nonexistent (unless being awkward and shy was her hustle), but after a somewhat substantial feeling-out period, we started to get along pretty darn well. I did do the dreaded “what’s your real name?” thing, and she told me. I also nervously asked for her number when our time was up, telling her that, while I was unlikely to ever return to the club, I wanted to see her again. She said she'd give me her number as long as I wasn't expecting any extras.
We set up a dinner. It went well, and we had another date the following week. She flaked on me once after that, but we recovered and went on another date. I was treading pretty carefully, as I wanted to make sure she felt comfortable.
I asked her to do something else a few days later, but she said she was too tired, which was understandable, given her schedule. I didn’t want to be too needy, so I took my foot off the gas for about a week before texting her again. Silence. I was fully prepared to throw in the towel if she failed to respond or got flaky, but she did respond to a follow-up VM I left, apologizing for failing to get in touch and saying that she really wanted to go out again. I texted her once or twice more, but got radio silence again. I was pretty confused by why she said she wanted to hang out again if she didn’t really want to (any thoughts?). I’m a bit bent out of shape over her, I must admit. Nonetheless, I managed to avoid any pathetic texting/calling for a week.
Today, I saw her on the street. Rather, she saw me (she lives right by my office). We stood on the sidewalk and chatted for a bit, and she was pretty touchy-feely, grabbing and pinching my arms repeatedly. She said she had been sick and had missed work and school for a full week. She really did look pretty ill, to be honest. I asked her if she was free to hang out on Wednesday. She said she had to work on Wednesday, since she had missed a full week of work. I was heading out of town on Thursday, so I told her I’d text her later to set something up. She replied that, no, she’d text me. Bad sign?
Basically, I’m considering going for the Hail Mary now. I was thinking about showing up at the SC on her first night back after her illness and buying her out for the night. Then just laying it on the line: “Listen, I know we met in a strip club. That’s not ideal. But I like you and want to get you know me better, etc.” Just a terrible idea?
I feel pretty embarrassed that I wrote this post. I’m usually a pretty pragmatic guy (at my best friend’s bachelor party, I dropped over $8K, and, as a result, I was slipped a couple of numbers; I never called). What can you do though? The heart wants what it wants. How germane is the fact that she is a stripper (vs. just another girl not that into me)? For example, was her text telling me that she really wanted to see me (and the subsequent radio silence) an attempt to lure me back in to the club? Is going to see her in the club an awful idea? Will she think of me as a RIL if I do?
Some facts:
--I am 27. Certainly no Adonis, but I do okay with non-dancers.
--She is 22. From Belarus. Seems really innocent, but she could be a next-level hustler. Maybe she is both. She has been dancing for less than a year.
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Re: Behold, the most pathetic thread in the history of the internet (customer in love
I think that if a girl isn't actively making an effort to get in touch with you she probably isn't interested. I also think that she is probably trying to seem interested so that it is possible that you will go back with more money to spend on her.
I think that you should go back with another 500$ to help her get back on her feet money-wise. Maybe then you could go out on another date. If you were to go back there and spend 1G on here, she will probably be able to take a night off for sure. So really, you should do that.
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Re: Behold, the most pathetic thread in the history of the internet (customer in love
I guess it's true that all women are sisters, huh? ;)
On the plus side, this woman has never asked me for money or to be taken on super exorbitant dates.
But thank you for telling me what I guess I already knew.
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Re: Behold, the most pathetic thread in the history of the internet (customer in love
Quote:
Originally Posted by
luscious sadie
I think that you should go back with another 500$ to help her get back on her feet money-wise. Maybe then you could go out on another date. If you were to go back there and spend 1K on here, she will probably be able to take a night off for sure. So really, you should do that.
Hells, he should probably go back and spend 8g's on her, I mean he usually is, "a pretty pragmatic guy", right? ;) sry. sarcasm off.
And, not one to preach as I spend at least 1.5K (mostly on my fave) every time I go. So far 5k this week alone. AND I still have questions about our relationship AND I've never met her OTC, nor do I think I'll get the opportunity to. And I'm still in love with her, but know that she's working ITC and she has a life OTC and I'm not a stalker-creepy guy, so I can leave it at that. I figure hell, if any time, she wants to take it further, she'll let me know. Just my side of things.
Try not to stress too much eb, I don't know what your endgame is, but like any girl you are interested in, sometimes taking it slow is best.
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Re: Behold, the most pathetic thread in the history of the internet (customer in love
Everytime I start to believe a dancer that "I'm her favorite," I like to log on to this site to remind myself "Not even close, moron."
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Re: Behold, the most pathetic thread in the history of the internet (customer in love
Not to be mean, but it doesn't sound like you're a high priority to her. If she sets something up, go if you want but I wouldn't expect anything to come out of this at all.
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Re: Behold, the most pathetic thread in the history of the internet (customer in love
Yes we do hate these threads. Knowing that, why did you post it? Your screen name makes you suspect.
FBR
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Re: Behold, the most pathetic thread in the history of the internet (customer in love
Quote:
Originally Posted by
encyclopediabrown
Her hustle was nonexistent (unless being awkward and shy was her hustle)
Actually, yeah... that's totally a hustle.
I use it sometimes because it's easy and tends to make good money.
The "I want to see you" but refusing to set up an actual date and then telling you about how she's been sick and needs to work, ect... sounds like she's just trying to lure you back to the club, imo.
It's likely that she went out with you a few times because she wasn't sure how to get you to spend more money/wanted to keep you interested in her... but stopped 'waisting her time' (no offense) when she realized she would get anything out of it.
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Re: Behold, the most pathetic thread in the history of the internet (customer in love
What if a dancer keeps promising to come see you, fails every follow through, says she keeps getting hijackd by other custies, acts really tired, complains about work stuff to you randomly, keeps asking if you're leaving, and asks for your number so you could see her again at the club?
She's really sweet and all ...
Just a really tired, busy dancer?
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Re: Behold, the most pathetic thread in the history of the internet (customer in love
^ You probably are not spending enough money on her to get her away from her other regulars...
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Re: Behold, the most pathetic thread in the history of the internet (customer in love
^Holy shit Lopaw that's a sexy Avatar.
Also, OP: the awkward thing is an awesome hustle tool. I do it often with the younger males. They tend to see me as their best bro's "cute-sexy-shy little sister" thing.
She just wants money.
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Re: Behold, the most pathetic thread in the history of the internet (customer in love
Quote:
Originally Posted by
yoda57us
^ You probably are not spending enough money on her to get her away from her other regulars...
Ouch. Well, I'll probably never spend enough on her then.
Though because her friend was complaining about only making that night an amount that was double what I spent on this girl, I think that's not it.
I imagine she made half her (or almost that) night's earnings off me.
Though, she gave me her number the previous night after I'd only bought one dance from her.
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Re: Behold, the most pathetic thread in the history of the internet (customer in love
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Soth
Though, she gave me her number the previous night after I'd only bought one dance from her.
Getting phone numbers from dancers is pretty much standard fare now, regardless of how many dances you buy. Many dancers keep separate cells just for customers so that they can text you to come back and visit them at the club.
Bizness is bizness.
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Re: Behold, the most pathetic thread in the history of the internet (customer in love
Quote:
Originally Posted by
lopaw
No, OP....yours isn't the most pathetic post on the internet.
yeah....you have to get in line behind every post by AsianDatingCoach
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Re: Behold, the most pathetic thread in the history of the internet (customer in love
I've never posted in this type of thread before, but the OP actually wrote one of the better, more lucid, and reasonable posts on this subject....instead of the usual drivel you see...so I'll throw my two cents in...
she's probably hustling you, but I'd do this...
DON'T do your hail mary and hit the club, hoping this appearance will make her swoon.
Instead, wait about two weeks, and then call her...if you get her live on the phone, tell her you are really interested in seeing her on a more serious level, but that you understand if she doesn't want to. Tell her that you'd really like to go on another date, and if she wants to, to call you the next day to confirm.
The ball is in her court. If she calls, you're in. If not, move on.
If you call and she doesn't pick up...leave a VM and ask her to call, that you have a really important question to ask. If she doesn't call...move on.
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Re: Behold, the most pathetic thread in the history of the internet (customer in love
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Soth
Though, she gave me her number the previous night after I'd only bought one dance from her.
That doesn't really mean anything. If you spent a few bucks and you came-off as a nice guy you go her number in the hopes that you will come back and spend more money on her. It seems to be working...
Dancers divide their time in the club based on maximizing their revenue. If she isn't spending time with you she has a reason. Either other guys are spending more (you honestly have no way of knowing what her other customers are spending, don't assume that you do) or she may see you as easy money. Whatever the reason, if your goal is additional face time beyond what you get during dnces you have to decide how much you are willing to spend in order to get it.
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Re: Behold, the most pathetic thread in the history of the internet (customer in love
Thanks to all of you who have posted. I appreciate the advice, insight, ribbing, etc.
DesuvsDeath, Sadie, and Mediocrity: Your posts were really insightful and helped me put things into perspective.
Mr Hyde: I appreciate your advice, and I suspect that I'll be thinking about your words not only in my current predicament, but also later on down the line.
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Quick update:
So, I did not go see her at her place of work. Instead, I steeled my nerves and decided to follow Mr Hyde's advice: I was going to wait two weeks or so and put the ball in her court. But lo and behold--she texted me this morning to tell me that she had spotted me riding my scooter (embarrassing, I know) to work. I was pretty surprised, as this marks the first time that she has ever initiated contact with me.
At this point, I'm not sure what to do. She does seem to have a strange habit of checking in when I'm at my most frustrated with the situation. Do I proceed with following Mr Hyde's advice? Do I reply as I would with any other woman I am interested in?
I mean, she must've given up by now in her quest to groom me as a regular (if that was indeed her goal). It's been two months and I haven't been back to the club; I told her from the start that I wasn't ever going back (thanks to all for helping me stay strong when I was on the verge of caving).
Any further insight/advice would be greatly appreciated.
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Re: Behold, the most pathetic thread in the history of the internet (customer in love
^Haha, you ride a scooter to work? Cuuute.
Honestly... There've been times where I've emailed customers who, for whatever reason, had stopped coming in that I haven't seen in a few months to urge them back through the doors.
Stick with what Hyde said if you're still interested... otherwise forget about her and move on. ;D
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Re: Behold, the most pathetic thread in the history of the internet (customer in love
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Mr Hyde
I've never posted in this type of thread before, but the OP actually wrote one of the better, more lucid, and reasonable posts on this subject....instead of the usual drivel you see...so I'll throw my two cents in...
she's probably hustling you, but I'd do this...
DON'T do your hail mary and hit the club, hoping this appearance will make her swoon.
Instead, wait about two weeks, and then call her...if you get her live on the phone, tell her you are really interested in seeing her on a more serious level, but that you understand if she doesn't want to. Tell her that you'd really like to go on another date, and if she wants to, to call you the next day to confirm.
The ball is in her court. If she calls, you're in. If not, move on.
If you call and she doesn't pick up...leave a VM and ask her to call, that you have a really important question to ask. If she doesn't call...move on.
this is really the best advice. forget the texting back and forth. you're not in high school anymore. it's too easy to read a text and ignore it (or save it for later). if you call her live, you are much more likely to get a response.
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Re: Behold, the most pathetic thread in the history of the internet (customer in love
She's from Belarus so I think you impressed her when she saw you on your scooter. Practicality. Dig?
You're doing fine. Just be cool and play it by ear.
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Re: Behold, the most pathetic thread in the history of the internet (customer in love
lmaooooooooooooooo
Quote:
Originally Posted by
bucket
She's from Belarus so I think you impressed her when she saw you on your scooter. Practicality. Dig?
You're doing fine. Just be cool and play it by ear.
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Re: Behold, the most pathetic thread in the history of the internet (customer in love
I think you should be with the other $ 500 to help her back to her feet back money wise. Perhaps then you can go out on another date. If you want to go back there, and here spent the 1G, she may be able to take to ensure a late. So, really, you should do so...
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