Are your child(ren) going to know you cammed?
I'm not sure if this topic has been discussed in another section because I don't really post anywhere else,if so feel free to enlighten me :) I mainly post here and in other work so here goes. I was reading the "dream job" thread again for inspiration and realized that quite a few of use well most of us plan on moving forward away from camming. So I'm wondering those of you that have children or plan on having them,will you ever tell them? Or if they're older,do they know? Have you told them already? I'm just curious. I believe that later on down the line(like 15-20 years later as he's not even a year old) I will admit it and I won't have any shame. I don't plan on keeping any secrets from my child,especially not this one. If he ever gets curious and asks how I accomplished my goals,I'm pretty sure I'm not going to lie. If he's at a mature age,I'll more than likely just come clean. Basically let him know that this goal is what I wanted and this job is how I got it. I'll give him more than enough room to take it all in,but I refuse to just lie. On another note,if this topic never comes up,that'll be okay to. So what about you ladies?
*This thread was NOT made to start any drama. If you disagree with some responses(including mine) than fine,but please lets not turn this into a heated debate,Thanks*
Re: Are your child(ren) going to know you cammed?
Even though I'm not actually a camgirl (yet) I'll add my 2 cents in about telling my kids about my sex work in general. If I ever had children (and that's a big if lol) I would never hide it from them. I'm very open about my work in general, and I've always held the attitude of never being ashamed of my actions as long as I'm ok with them. I'm fine with being a stripper/camgirl so I tend to talk loud and walk proud about it (well, within reason - I don't just randomly bring it up to be obnoxious lol). I know that for some it's very private, but I've never wanted to conform to the stigma associated with sex work. Before I even started working, one of my main areas of study in school was human sexuality and I've always been fascinated by studying sex work/workers, and wanted to educate people to not demonize them. I would want to raise my children with the same open-mindedness/non-judgment about sex work and know that I'm not ashamed of the paths I've taken in life. I wouldn't tell them until they're old enough to keep a secret (although I'm not ashamed, I don't want to deal with the drama BS of my parents finding out), but eventually I would.
Re: Are your child(ren) going to know you cammed?
Re: Are your child(ren) going to know you cammed?
I don't have any children yet but when I get married I definitely want to have a family, I seriously feel like part of my purpose on this earth is to one day be a mom :) That being said, I don't think that if I have children I will ever tell them about this or bring it up, I don't really feel the need! I don't know everything my parents did when they were my age and honestly, I don't want to know lol. However...
If my children specifically asked if I was a camgirl when I was younger, I wouldn't lie to them and I would tell them the truth. I firmly believe that honesty is the best policy, especially when it comes to the people you love. Also, if I ever found out that one of my children entered the adult industry, I would probably be sad because it's not exactly the first choice for myself, but I would never judge them, because not only would that be extremely hypocritical - I also want them to feel like they can be open with me and talk to me about anything!
Re: Are your child(ren) going to know you cammed?
i'm not sure if i'll ever have kids - my primary partner already has grown kids, i'm not even sure if i'm fertile (due to amenorrhea when i was younger & a miscarriage), & if i am fertile, whether i should be carrying a kid thanks to all my musculoskeletal probs. part of me does want kids, but it will be a few yrs at least before i try to get pregnant if i decide to do that.
however...if i do have kids, i would be open about it with them once they are old enough to understand. i agree mostly with aurora's post. i'm pretty open about who i am - i don't broadcast being a sex worker but i am not super secretive abt it either. i don't think it's shameful. i also want them to feel safe and comfortable with their sexuality and to be educated about sexual health (sex health education is one of my passions). for me at a few different unstable points in my life sex work has been a lifesaving survival tool. and i'm not ashamed of the things i have done to survive. i hope my kids would never feel the need to turn to sex work or be in that situation (and i'm sure my mom probably felt the same way), but i would want them to be resourceful and resilient, and to know my background and where they come from, if that makes sense. the women in my family have done amazing, if sometimes dangerous and unorthodox, things to survive and provide and knowing that gives me strength. i want my kids to have that strength.
Re: Are your child(ren) going to know you cammed?
I answered this in a thread about my daughter but heres my thoughts...
Im an adult and my childs mother, I dont feel I owe her an explanation for the things I do, nor is being private about the sexually related things I do, in hiding. Shes my child, not my partner, husband, boyfriend, etc. Just like how I dont tell her how much I have in my bank account or what I spend my money on or how I spend every moment of my time...that I dont fill her isnt hiding, its just not her business as my child to know.
Also, I dont think that its appropriate to discuss or teach her about the adult industry as she is underaged. Sexual education is one thing, something we have and can talk openly about...but the sex industry? Not for me to bring to her table. If she ever asks me specific questions, Iwould of course answer them though.
Now, all that being said, once she is over 18, and considering my daughters personality and the relationship I have with her, I would totally tell her. Im pretty sure of it she wouldnt be surprised. Shes very "live and let live" but also a lot more conservative than I could ever be. Just like how she figures, I have enough tattoos for the both of us and she never wants any, she will probably figure, one cam girl in the family is enough. :D
The escorting on the other hand, I will never tell her. Most kids have a hard time stomaching the mental image of their own parents together, this would probably make her brain leak out of her ears...:P
Re: Are your child(ren) going to know you cammed?
I have 4 children. 2 in early 20's boy and a girl, then a boy of 18 and a girl of 13. When I first started camming, I told my two eldest, partly because I felt they were old enough to understand but also because I didn't want them hearing from someone else, i.e a friend, 'ooh I saw your mum playing with her pussy on cam last night' :-[
My son was so cool, he just said 'it's up to you what you do with your life and your body mum' he then proceeded to tell me all sorts of stuff and asking questions more about the types of guys I cam for and fetishes, (he even told me about the two girls one cup vid!) it was great to be able to chat with him like this.
My daughter really suprised me, I thought she was open minded etc but no, she wasn't very happy at all and hoped that I would find something else sooner rather than later. We have never spoken about it since :( but we are still friends and talk about everything but that lol. Although she was envious when I showed her the shoes one of my regs bought for me ;).
Now the two younger children, I felt they were too young at the time, now they are a little bit older I'm sure my son has probably worked it out, after all he must be able to hear me sometimes lol, daughter is going through the prudish stage of pubity, you know where they don't like seeing anything sexy on telly, including kissing, and shuts the loo door etc etc. However should either one of them ask I will tell them in a way that is appropriate for their age and maturity.
I believe that secrets and lies within a family are at best unhealthy and at worst very destructive. I found out the hard way that there were secrets and lies within my family after both my parents had past away and were unable to give me the answers I needed. I vowed then never to do the same to my kids and have always been honest with them.
Re: Are your child(ren) going to know you cammed?
I am an escort and not a camgirl (anymore). As a mother, I owE my daughter NO explanation. If she were to find out on her own would I be ashamed? Hell no! Why? This is how she gets fed, This is how I am able to afford a luxurious place for us so we are not living in the hood / ghetto or government assistance. This is how she's able to wear nice clothes just like mom and mom is able to afford damn good child care. We can travel anywhere, anytime because of my work as an escort. She eats good and lives good because of mom's work. She wants for absolutely nothing... so why the hell should she EVER complain? She better not.
Because of my job, I am setting her on a path. One that I never had. I'll be damned if my daughter became an escort or a camgirl or a stripper/anything sex industry related. Yes it is hypocritical but so the fuck what? The reason why I do this is so that she does not have to ever enter this industry or think about entering this industry. Out of every date, at the end of the day I take out 20% for my obsessive shopping sprees ;), take out money for bills and necessities and last but not least set aside money for her college fun. I plan on OFFERING her a damn good education. When she graduates high school I will give her the option of going to college, if she does not want to she better have a damn good plan.
Telling your underaged child about escorting/camming or stripping can potentially traumatize them and you can easily lose your kids. A friend of mine told her kids and her mom she was a escort and NOW the states are trying to take her kids away. Yes her mom is trying to take her kids away from her. It's a pretty unique/fucked up situation but everyone here needs to think about the possibilities.
It is true that some people just don't know how to keep their mouth shut. Noone knows my business but yall. To my next door neighbor, I am just some spoiled rich kid. It is noone's business. I will say that again, It is noone's business what I do for a living.
When it comes to my boyfriend, I told the last one and he started viewing me as a moving ATM so I kicked him to the curb. Do I plan on telling the next one if there is a next one? Of course yes! If he has a problem with me as a sex worker/wants to use me as a human ATM, He, too, will be kicked to the curb.
I know I veered a little OT but here it is, Children remember everything. EVERY SINGLE LITTLE THING! I have a potty mouth but I am very careful when talking in front of my child because the girl remember everything. So no I will not tell her. If she were to find out on her own, I will answer questions but educate her as well.
Re: Are your child(ren) going to know you cammed?
Just to clarify when I said "mature" age,I meant grown as in 18. Don't know why I put 15-20,more like 20-25. I have a 17 & 18yr old sister and I don't see telling them!! So yeah,I'd never tel a minor exactly what I do if they are under 18. If he was 15 & asked if I cammed before,I would say yes and leave it at that. I would NOT go into detail about anything unless he were an adult and already knew about the adult industry and everything that goes on in it. I mean lets face it. In another 15-20yrs we don't know how far advanced this industry may be. So no,I'm not going to volunteer any info,but I'm not going to have a sexually retarded child either because like Angel said I want him to know that he can come to me and be open about any and everything. Being that I am a single parent.
Re: Are your child(ren) going to know you cammed?
Even when she is of mature age, I will not tell her. It is none of her business. If she were to ask me I will educate her and that's that. I do NOT feel obligated to tell her or anyone.
:)
Re: Are your child(ren) going to know you cammed?
If they are of mature age and are thinking about doing it or if a life lesson pertain to it, I don't see anything wrong with saying "Well you know I used to cam and this was my experience...."
You never know what example you may have to share about your own life to teach your children something. I say no because I can't even fathom having a child, but I mean you never know.
Re: Are your child(ren) going to know you cammed?
I really dont see how something like this would even come up in conversation with my daughter...! But definitely, if she were to ask me something point blank, I would not lie to her. But Im also not going to divulge details.
My ex recently told me that he told me he thinks his mom escorted for awhile when he was a kid, but hes not sure and its not important enough to him to ask cause its not any of his business...and thats something I totally agree with. He knows I do cam, but Ive never and never will tell him I escort. Though hes very perceptive and considering he knows my financial situation, I have the feeling he has a feeling..which would explain him telling me this about his mom recently...
Anyway, unless someone said something to my daughter to which she flat out asks me, I dont see how not telling her what I do is going to cause her pain or how this is a huge family secret. I mean, if it was something like...Im not really her mom, or the guy she thought was just a family friend was her dad or we have some genetic blood defect to where we dont live past the age of 40 or something...yeah, *thats* serious. But her not knowing when I get naked for who and for what...I dont see it.
But then, thats just talking of me, my kid, our home and that I have a hard time wrapping my mind around kids having to know what sort of sexual activities their parents are up to. To me that would be negligence.
Re: Are your child(ren) going to know you cammed?
My fiance and I are actually planning on having kids in about 2 years or so. Before I started camming, this was one of the issues that I included in my debate about camming or not. I decided then, and I still believe to this day, that I will not bring this up to my children. If they had asked, sure, but I wouldn't willingly be like "Mommy used to work in the Adult Industry." And like BlkSharpie had said I wouldn't divulge details.