Putting my bf to work! (Camming as a couple)
So me and my bf have been stuck in a shitty situation living with his mom for several months now. It's really fucking annoying how he just sits there playing XBOX, smoking his weed and, expects me to cam and get us out of here. Then pesters me about getting skype shows so he can buy some cigarettes and lol. HE HAS NOT PAID A DOLLAR TOWARDS SHIT WE ACTUALLY NEED! I'm at my breaking point right now. I finally bought a car last week (still need to get it insured/plates next week.) But I'm really considering dumping him unless he contributes to making some money. IM SICK OF ALL THE VIDEO GAMES!!!!
Ok on to the point. I'm 20, he's 21. I'm pretty attractive, and I consider him attractive as well, he has a great funny friendly personality and we get along well (usually) which I think will be good for getting fans..he dosn't have a giant dick or anything though, and is on the bigger side of average weight. Where is a good site for couples to cam? Will we be able to make decent money as a couple or should I just continue camming solo until he gets a job/I dump him?
Don't be mean please, I have the tendency to go into relationships only caring about personality/attractiveness, and thinking money won't be an issue. I love him I'm just breaking down after having all the weight on my shoulders...help please. Anyone experienced with camming as a couple?
Re: Putting my bf to work! (Camming as a couple)
From what I've heard you may actually make more solo, but hopefully someone who has more experience in couples can contribute.
Re: Putting my bf to work! (Camming as a couple)
Why isn't he getting a job? Doesn't he care about you?
It sounds like he's passively pimping you out through his own laziness... if you refuse to give him money, he'll have to learn to work for himself and do something for himself for once. For your own sake, you really should stop giving him cash.
Just like a female webcam performer, if he's not naturally motivated, he won't do well at camming.
Re: Putting my bf to work! (Camming as a couple)
so this is my first 'advice' post, I'm a lil nervous :) I hope what I have to say helps you sort some of this out
When I started camming 18 months ago, I started with my partner, doing regular couple shows. What I found is that while there is definitely a huge market for couples, I tended to get my best regulars through shows where I was camming alone. I think this had to do with the customers desire for an emotional as well as physical experience which can be difficult to achieve when you're part of a duo. As well, we both found that the sex became perfunctory, obligatory, and not nearly as much fun as either of us expected it would be. As a result, we now only do couple shows on a whim, when I'm booked (I work only indy) and the mood strikes.
Your experience may be vastly more positive though, and I know of one successful woman (who posts here on sw) who does shows as part of a couple on sm, and may be able to offer you more helpful advice on HOW to make it work
I think aqua raised a really important point however, in addressing the issue of his motivational level. In reading your post, it appears that you are taking on all the responsibility in this relationship, and that's not fair to you. If you feel resentful or frustrated with him now, imagine how much worse it will be when you have to nag him to put down the weed and come fuck you on cam. Having sex on cam does require alot of effort, in terms of putting on a really hot show that keeps the customer coming back (and regulars are the best source of $ most cam girls can have, imho) The way you describe your bf, he doesn't appear to be willing to put in any effort to make your relationship more financially equitable or stable, which makes me think that trying to solve the money problem by including him in your shows will ultimately lead to more disappointment and stress for you.
I applaud you not placing money as the most important characteristic a man can have, but I think you're selling yourself short in accepting a situation where you are taking on all the burden and responsibility. If I were you, I'd demand that he start to contribute financially, whether it means becoming a couple on cam or him getting a job in another area. There is a world of difference between recognizing that money is not the most important thing a man can have, and allowing yourself to be taken advantage of by someone unwilling to grow up and take care of himself.
To sum up this really long message, you both can make money as a couple on cam, provided he can be committed to it, as one needs to be in any job. However, I found that doing daily couples shows made my relationship less satisfying, and more stressful for both of us. That we were doing daily cam shows as well as both of us having 'vanilla' careers, I imagine it would have been even more difficult if camming was our only source of income, as you're describing.
I wish you luck, and the strength in demanding that your guy puts down the weed, gets his butt off the couch and joins you in the world where able-bodied adults support themselves. If he can commit to that, then couple camming may work wonderfully for both of you, but if he can't, couple camming may be just the thing to end a relationship that isn't worth saving.
I hoped I've helped even a little
good luck girl
Re: Putting my bf to work! (Camming as a couple)
Your post shows your frustration with his behavior. Why are you still with him? What's his excuse for not working? Putting him on cam with you won't solve anything. One of you needs to have another job and then just cam together every now and then. Just make sure he isn't stoned when you cam, that can have a negative effect on the johnson...he may be a little to relaxed. I on the other hand, would just move out and let him stay home with his mom. He is behaving like an irresponsible teenager.
Re: Putting my bf to work! (Camming as a couple)
@Zinya
u need to sit down and have a serious talk with your BF.
it is not acceptable to be used like that for the money. especially when he does not contribute at all. If he was to have a job and not make enough, maybe it would be somewhat OK for toy to pay more in bills then he does... but YOU paying all bills and HIM doing nothing is 100 % wrong.
He is financially and mentally abusing you and you are letting him do it...
Please STOP!
No dick is worth being abused...
Id tell him to get a job or get out of my life...
If hes lazy in real life he might be lazy camming too... Plus most guys dont really have the patience for it and the strength to put up with all the assholes online...
I;d say u keep camming and he gets a JOB or bye bye
Re: Putting my bf to work! (Camming as a couple)
I agree with everyone else. Send him out to get a job and bring in some type of income or Let him cam on his own especially if he thinks you make 'easy money' camming. It really may be an eye opener for him.
Also if your relationship is already strained as financial issues and lord knows, living under a parents roof can do, trying to cam as a couple isnt going to relieve any of that stress. Its just going to add a new type of stress to the situation.
Good luck in what ever you choose to do.
Re: Putting my bf to work! (Camming as a couple)
Thank you so much everyone. I'm kind of a pushover though, and he knows it. lol When I try to put my foot down and say get a job, make some money, or I'm leaving he never really takes it seriously. Maybe camming as a couple isn't the best idea, but I don't know how else he can prove he'll do what it takes to support us..
I'd be really happy with him if he did that.. :/
I just talked to him about it and he said he dosn't want to cam because he's "out of shape and dosn't have a huge dick." Even though he's willing to do skpe shows with me to buy his cigarettes and weed. He says he dosn't want to sell any of his things either, he's pretty much just saying he'll get a job when I get my license plate and insurance. We'll see how this goes...:-\
Re: Putting my bf to work! (Camming as a couple)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Zinya
Even though he's willing to do skpe shows with me to buy his cigarettes and weed. He says he dosn't want to sell any of his things either, he's pretty much just saying he'll get a job when I get my license plate and insurance. We'll see how this goes...:-\
OMG, wake up darlin!
You need to get AWAY from him ASAP! He is lazy, useless and is going to suck up every dime you make. Do not let him drive your car!
Re: Putting my bf to work! (Camming as a couple)
Honey you need to dump his broke ass. You seem to have your stuff together, don't let him hold you back and take advantage of your kind demeanor.
Re: Putting my bf to work! (Camming as a couple)
He sounds like a broke ass loser, but I will say that I've done really well when I cam with my boyfriend. But I find it kind of awkward so we don't do it often. We've cammed on SkinVideo and are in the process of making a couples account on Streamate.
Re: Putting my bf to work! (Camming as a couple)
Regardless of his dick size, REAL men step and and get a job...sound like you are with someone who doesn't want to work, keeps making excuses, and sits home and plays xbox and gets high. Does he have any plans for the future, aspirations, anything? He needs some and you are just his crutch. Let him stand on his own two feet and you need to do the same.
Those of us on this board have read and advised gals in similar situations. We aren't being "mean", we are being honest and telling you to wake up! If he is worth it and wants you so bad, he'll do what it takes to get you back. For now, you are just his piece of pie, in more ways than one.
Re: Putting my bf to work! (Camming as a couple)
Re: Putting my bf to work! (Camming as a couple)
if I were you I would save all the money I can camming without telling him then I will move out.
You can do so much better in life! Its obvious he doesnt care about you, as long as you can give him money for his weed he will be happy. The minute you dont do it he will dump you. Save Yourself while you can!
Re: Putting my bf to work! (Camming as a couple)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
kittykrane
Regardless of his dick size, REAL men step and and get a job...sound like you are with someone who doesn't want to work, keeps making excuses, and sits home and plays xbox and gets high. Does he have any plans for the future, aspirations, anything? He needs some and you are just his crutch. Let him stand on his own two feet and you need to do the same.
Those of us on this board have read and advised gals in similar situations. We aren't being "mean", we are being honest and telling you to wake up! If he is worth it and wants you so bad, he'll do what it takes to get you back. For now, you are just his piece of pie, in more ways than one.
lol, no i'm not offended, his only real aspiration in life is moving to california with me and making music. Idk if most guys my age are this naiive or it's just the ones I date. ugh. I mean, he's really talented at it, but how many people can actually achieve making a living off their music..Ok heres the deal I made with myself. Once I get paid I'm going to a hotel if he dosn't start helping me out and acutally planning out what he wants to do with his life. This means getting a job, and making plans for college or similar.. This sucks, I started dating him because he seemed ambitious, he had a normal day job, he was really talented, and aspired to make music professionally...dunno what happened :P
P.S I never give him money unless he earned it by doing a skype show with me, I do get him a gift every month or so, but i doubt he'd dump me over not getting him anything lol
Re: Putting my bf to work! (Camming as a couple)
That sounds like a good plan! Wishing you luck girl.
As for him, what happened? Rather, what HASN'T happened? He has not grown up, that's what.
Don't tell him where you are staying either, lest he follow you and hinder your plans. Don't put your life on hold waiting for him.
Re: Putting my bf to work! (Camming as a couple)
Thank you :} , breaking up is so hard, but if he really cared he'd take my "nagging" seriously and step up.
Re: Putting my bf to work! (Camming as a couple)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Zinya
Thank you :} , breaking up is so hard, but if he really cared he'd take my "nagging" seriously and step up.
Yes, and also don't be surprised if he makes a last ditch effort to convince you he is changing. I've had to learn that lesson more than once I'm ashamed to admit. Most people don't change. I would not believe him unless you see a long term permanent change.
Re: Putting my bf to work! (Camming as a couple)
Of course he's not going to do shit. He's living with his mom. What do you expect? Don't work your ass off camming if he's not going to put any effort into it. You don't really sound like you're in love with him, to me anyway, so you might as well break up with him and move on with your life.
Re: Putting my bf to work! (Camming as a couple)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Zinya
Thank you :} , breaking up is so hard, but if he really cared he'd take my "nagging" seriously and step up.
Yes, it is. I have been in a similar situation where i found myself supporting a previous boyfriend. He sabotaged our living situation, moved to my moms with me, never helped with anything and litterally only did his own laundry. After he wrecked my car, stole from my family, and started making me pay him to get high with me (he was selling drugs to afford to smoke and put gas in his car) i got fed up and left him. That was after 4 years together-2 really bad ones. I wasted all that time working my ass off to help him be a loser andd i was younger then you. I made too many sacrifices and it turns my stomach to think of him now.
You have to have faith in yourself that no matter how hard it is, it will be better not to sacrifice your own ambitions and goals for someone who doesnt seem to care enough about you to do anything to help support and provide for you. You are obviously upset with his behavior and if it doesnt get better you may not ever be able to let go of it-creating many more relationship problems between you two down the road.
RUN and dont look back. If he loves you he will get the message and change, and maybe you will cross paths again one day. You will either reunite or you will walk away from the same loser you left behind once before.
Re: Putting my bf to work! (Camming as a couple)
Yeah, take it from us gals Zinya.. We have been around the block and have lived through crappy relationships. There are great men out there though who will do something with their lives and contribute positive energy to the relationship. Your BF is just "blowing smoke"..literally!