-
Hustling Customer Turning Sugar Daddy-Need Tips on Detachment also!
I'm a private exotic dancer recently get a loyal customer who offered to be my Sugar Daddy. Last week he took me for lunch and paid for my time to accompany lunch. Since we're having lunch in a big mall, I decided to drop by at my cosmetic counter to make some purchase, which I already budget. Suddenly he told me that I don't need to pay anything and from now on, he is responsible for everything and offering to be my Sugar Daddy (SD). So, he bought the cosmetics for me.
The day turned into a shopping spree. I already carry a list of items I need, so we just go and get them : clothes, shoes, belt, etc. When I pass a store I saw a bag I really want, and I really wanted to buy it, its not on my list though. But since it's our first shopping session together, I decided to keep it polite. He keep asking me "Kristal, you need anything else?" and I notice that he already bought me lots of stuff for first time shopping. I told him I want that bag, but I also don't want to make him bankrupt. He said 'It's okay we can get it on our next meeting."
When I'm back home, I keep thinking about the bag and regret it, I worry that someone already buy it. I should just grab the chance. My friend says that I am being too naive. I should not think about him/his feelings, just go grab the bag and let him pay. Because, basically when a man is already stating that he will pay for my purchases, it means he already alocate a budget to spend on me. My friend also said, that if he's already over budget, he will tell me "Next time", so as long as he didn't say "Next time", then it means I can still grab stuff and let him pay---->> my friend's advice.
I hesitated because he bought me so many stuff already and I don't want to appear greedy, because I am hoping that he will become a long term SD for me. Any advice on hustling him on our next meeting? How do I get grab the chances and opportunities without feeling greedy lol because my friend said, I should grab as much as I want as long as there is a chance, no need to think about his feelings.
Which approach is better:
A. (my friend's) Grab as much as I want, because when he takes me shopping it means he already allocate a budget for me. Spend until he alerted me that it's enough or say that "we can come back later next week to get this"
B. (my logic) Give a good impression, don't appear too greedy only take what I need on my list, adding a little here and there, but not too obvious, still being polite and basically being considerate so he feels comfortable with me and wants to be my long term SD.
Which attitude do you suggest? A or B? and please explain also based on your experiences.
I also need advice on Emotional Detachment:
The custy turned SD is physically my type, very nice, caring, successful and good looking. I need to keep my guards up and use logic all the time.
Please share some ideas on detachment based on your experiences handling good looking regulars. He told me he just went out of a long term relationship and is not looking for commitment but he needs someone around and enjoys having my company and spoiling me..and paying me for all that.
This is my first SD after quite some time because I almost fall in love with my former SD that's why I need to learn detachment.. and avoid having SDs for some time.
Any advice and help will be highly appreciated. Next week I will meet him again for lunch and the schedule as usual will be lunch followed by shopping. I will update the results. I plan to wear something elegant but more sexy, and perhaps buy basic outfits, lingeries so I can have a stock of outfits. :-*
-
Re: Hustling Customer Turning Sugar Daddy-Need Tips on Detachment also!
I did look around and found some good threads discussing similar matters and the key is to "stop being nice" act playful, flirty and keep grabbing stuff. I am trying to work on that. I will keep you all updated on my situation and I still welcome opinions,tips & advice.
-
Re: Hustling Customer Turning Sugar Daddy-Need Tips on Detachment also!
Take advantage of his money. I went on an $8,000 shopping spree with my ex best friend and we loaded up, didn't give a FUCK. I got a DKNY rain coat, Coach shoes, Coach purse, tons of Mac Make up, belts, real leather driving gloves, Guess shirts and jeans, etc etc. Between both of us we spent $8,000.
Who gives a shit? You want to get as much as you can so that when it ends you got your money's worth. Don't feel "bad". If a $500 difference in the end total is going to make or break the SD/SB relationship then he was a shitty SD anyway.
Wring him dry!
-
Re: Hustling Customer Turning Sugar Daddy-Need Tips on Detachment also!
Thanks Laurisa :)
I read some advice also on other threads regarding SD/Gold digging basically to sum it up, the best behavior is to be aggressive but keeping it sexy and don't be mean.
So yeah..I have to stop being nice & considerate. Just go and grab, who cares about his feelings, just keep it cute and sexy LOL.
Let's put it to the test, from the other threads, they say it works and guys love the aggressive but cute/sexy attitude.
I'm looking forward for the next shopping spree so I can stock up on stuff and grab more.
Another tip I read is to imagine that the money in his wallet is mine, so that will help get rid of the "too nice" behavior and greedy feeling.
I will put these all into test and work it up for sure.
-
Re: Hustling Customer Turning Sugar Daddy-Need Tips on Detachment also!
I would say B.
I say B because if you show that you care to some degree and that you are taking into account of his emotions and wallet, then that just might pay off in the long run. Let him come to you with the spending. Don't expect it. Pigs get fat and the hogs get slaughtered. That's the best analogy I can give. If you don't expect it, I would like to think that he will have more respect for you instead of being a greedy bitch. Nothing against your friend's logic, but I have had a SD before and when he took me out shopping we were in a really upscale mall and passed by the Juicy Couture store. He looked at me kind of puzzled as I gazed into the window....hands on the glass....he smiled a little and said, "Olivia, do you want something? You look like you really like this brand...I know a lot of girls do."...so I sheepishly smiled and replied, "Yea, I love Juicy Couture. I have their perfume...but I can never afford their stuff. It's too expensive. I love their purses & jewelry though. I am big into purses and jewelry." "WELLLLLL....come on!" *practically drags me in as I kept saying, "no I don't want to run up your bill...we've already dropped $700 at Nordstrom and a lot at the MAC Cosmetic store!"...we get in there and I emerge with three purses and some jewelry. It was another few hundred. *this guy was LOADED. Just fresh out of a divorce complete with a pre-nupt* He explained while he appreciated my kindness for himself and his wallet, this is something that HE wants to do for me, not something that I want him to do for me. When you let him come to you, it seems like that is when the real money and shopping sprees start happening. Later on he bought a bottle of pure parfume (NOT the eau de toilette) of Chanel ($365 at Neiman Marcus), a pair of Christian Louboutin shoes (which I ended up selling on ebay since I wore them once and I had nowhere to wear them after our SD/SB relationship sadly ended. He didn't grow tired of me...I told him that I felt bad for using him.) Be sure to tell him that you appreciate everything and use your manners. That goes a long way! I told him that I appreciated everything he did for me (money for college, money for groceries, money in general...lmao) but I am not wired to just take, take, take. He said that I am not taking from him, that he sincerely wanted to do that for me. He delights in spoiling his woman. Shocked me to be honest to see that men like that really do exist. But after being buried in every piece of lingerie, purse, parfume, cosmetic, dress, outfit, and pair of shoes known to man....it started to wear on my conscious. I just say tread lightly and be careful and know that he could turn at any moment and start to want sexual favors from you in return for all the spoiling and/or he could just cut you loose. Don't allow him to pay your rent or bills, get cash in hand and pay for it yourself. That's what I did. Allow him to buy you lunch or dinner and gifts and trips to the spa....but do NOT allow him to put you in a car that he is making payments on. There is ALWAYS that chance he might say one day, "I don't think this is working out. You need to take over payments of the car." and then you can't afford the payments and upkeep on the car and BOOM! It's repo'ed! If he wants to do something that extreme, then just tell him that you would like a car that is paid in full up front with the title in your name. If it is insured under his policy and in his name, you could really be royally fucked. SD/SB relationships are delicate and must be treated with great logic and care.
Just be appreciative and considerate of his wallet and emotions. Don't expect anything and let him come to you with the spending. If you have a list that is one thing, let him pay for your list...but if it's just a bunch of wants, let him come to you for that one. Having needs to be met on a list is one thing but having a bunch of wants that you expect for him to buy is another. If he is not in a good mood he might be rubbed the wrong way and it end up in a huge fight or SD/SB "break up".
As for emotions getting in the way, I would detach, detach, detach. Once the emotions get involved things get really complicated. The most amount of emotion I had for him was I cared for him healthwise since he was older and also cared about him as a human being. Unlike the customers who come into the club, whom I view as men that drink with wallets, I viewed this man as a giving, kind person who really took a liking to me. Never feel guilty about caring for him in a PLATONIC way...but if you let the emotions get involved...unless he is open and receptive to a relationship...then you need to step back and look at the whole picture and think about the future. Will your emotions get in the way? Is this going to end up hurting you emotionally since you cannot be with him romantically? I say let the man spoil you as long as you can possibly allow it before you start to get delusional about the fact that he is spoiling you because he wants to be with you. I never had this issue but have known girls with your exact same problem. SOME girls, very few, ended up in a relationship with them...but most girls were just the man's SB. To be honest, SD/SB relationships are somewhat like escorting. There is a lot of emotional detachment involved. In some cases, it is sex in exchange for shopping sprees...and some girls are fine with that because they enjoy that set up. Some are like you, they go to lunch or dinner or go to a party as his companion and then he showers her with gifts and traveling and such. You need to step back and think if this is going to be emotionally taxing on you.
Just some thoughts to think about...
pigs get fat. the hogs get slaughtered.
and also...
can you emotionally detach while still platonically care?
-
Re: Hustling Customer Turning Sugar Daddy-Need Tips on Detachment also!
Just make sure you praise him and smile a lot. Act like you're having a lot of fun and be genuine about enjoying him accompanying you. You can hold his hand or lock arms with him, or even just a sultry smile and locking eye contact when you're picking up a really expensive item.
Make sure you say "Thank you Daddy!" or whatever you call him and giggle a lot. Almost act like a young girl going shopping for her first car or her first bra, make yourself seem in awe even though your heart is beating out of your chest.
Of course, you don't want to look like the Tasmanian Devil ripping through an outlet store. Walk from aisle to aisle and store to store with grace and examine things carefully. Don't just throw everything in there like a monster and leave him behind. Try to make him feel somewhat included, but always get what you want. Almost like a spoiled teenager with a rich father....bratty, but classy!
-
Re: Hustling Customer Turning Sugar Daddy-Need Tips on Detachment also!
wow I am shocked at the responses....interesting points of view....
-
Re: Hustling Customer Turning Sugar Daddy-Need Tips on Detachment also!
Total in a matter of a month me and my friend were each showered with $6500. After that it ended, but we're still friends.
I was happy to get my $6500 in cash and gifts but after that I grew tired of him texting me.
I guess it's a personal thing, but I don't think you should worry about overspending with a sugar daddy. I'm wired to rip guys of their last penny at work and I love doing it. It's my job!
With my man, I don't expect him to buy me things though. We go dutch quite often even though he does alright for himself. I guess I'd rather have other men foot his bill for me so he has his own money to save for our house together. LOL
-
Re: Hustling Customer Turning Sugar Daddy-Need Tips on Detachment also!
Laurisa & Italian Bombshell ..thanks for the tips! :)
Italian Bombshell -- Your opinion is interesting regarding attitude B, I will ponder on it especially since I expect this SD-SB relation to go long term. He is now working on a case on this firm and after the case is done, he plan to take us on vacation, and he told me several plans also.
Anyways, you are right that we have to make these men enjoy doing so..I remember during the shopping spree with him, he keep asking me "Anything else Kristal?" whenever we finish buying stuff at one store, before going to the next one. And he said "Seeing you this happy, makes me happy" :) LOL I was like a kid in a candy store armed with a list on that day.
Laurisa,
I like the attitude..like a rich spoiled teenager with a rich daddy! :) That's great. I did try to include him and asked opinion when picking some items/colors, since I notice that he is stylishly dressed himself and that was also nice.
I will keep you all updated on this thread and please wish me luck on my next meeting with him! :)
-
Re: Hustling Customer Turning Sugar Daddy-Need Tips on Detachment also!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Italian_Bombshell849
I would say B.
As for emotions getting in the way, I would detach, detach, detach. Once the emotions get involved things get really complicated. The most amount of emotion I had for him was I cared for him healthwise since he was older and also cared about him as a human being. Unlike the customers who come into the club, whom I view as men that drink with wallets, I viewed this man as a giving, kind person who really took a liking to me. Never feel guilty about caring for him in a PLATONIC way...but if you let the emotions get involved...unless he is open and receptive to a relationship...then you need to step back and look at the whole picture and think about the future. Will your emotions get in the way? Is this going to end up hurting you emotionally since you cannot be with him romantically? I say let the man spoil you as long as you can possibly allow it before you start to get delusional about the fact that he is spoiling you because he wants to be with you.
Just some thoughts to think about...
pigs get fat. the hogs get slaughtered.
and also...
can you emotionally detach while still platonically care?
This is the challenge. Honestly, he's my type but I also know that, he is not at a point in life where he needs a relationship and I'm not sure about myself relationship wise, I prefer to focus on myself at this point in life and do self improvement.
But yes, his presence.., caring behavior and good looks do make me anticipate him, outside of the fact that I do need him around for some period to help with expenses. I need to be guarded and remember Laurisa's tips on being nice and imagine myself as a spoiled girl going out shopping with her dad. :-*
-
Re: Hustling Customer Turning Sugar Daddy-Need Tips on Detachment also!
On Emotional Detachment/My Previous SD Experience
Last year I had an SD, he was in a bad marriage (this is what he said). He looks young for his age (boyish) and was my type as well physically.
Anyways, in the beginning I was completely guarded and it was all about money for me. But then he started sharing stuff about his life and I witnessed him arguing with his wife on the phone and offered him some moments of tranquility, hugged him and basically helped him calm down.
He ended up being so clingy with me and keep asking me whether I feel something for him, which is starting to bother me emotionally, and honestly I found myself starting to fall for this man, and that's when things started to end, because I fear his wife would find out and harass me, since he was being so clingy and travel to my city too frequently obviously will make her suspicious.
Had I kept being detached and money minded in spite of him being emotional, perhaps it might still work, because I can limit him, and manage my meetings with him. Well, I took time off from SD-ing because of this. I need to manage my emotions and yes, pretend it's all acting. Pretend that I have to show emotions or act like I care while it's just an act. It can be done, it takes time to master these skills.
-
Re: Hustling Customer Turning Sugar Daddy-Need Tips on Detachment also!
I'm with Italian Bombshell 10000%.
Couldn't have said it better myself.
I think the "princess" verge of bratty behavior is ridiculous and is a dime a dozen. Personally it destroys the true fiber to the whole SD/SB relationship.
Companionship in exchange for monetary/material things. Not "suck the bastard dry and run."
But Italian Bombshell said it all a lot better then i could.
I've had 2 SDs in the past years, both gave me gifts out of WANTING to, not cause i just pushed them to or made them. They enjoyed my company and enjoyed seeing me smile. I was always humble and made sure they knew i was very grateful for it. I listened to there stories, i laughed with them and made sure it was a mutually rewarding experience {and no sex!}
Recently I just snabbed a SD and without even asking he bought me shoes off my Amazon wishlist. We haven't even MET yet. I'm honest, i listen and he did it just cause. But you damn well know i said thank you and was humble about it. Have manners. Have grace. Good conversation and someone fun to be around will get you a lot more in the long run.
-
Re: Hustling Customer Turning Sugar Daddy-Need Tips on Detachment also!
-
Re: Hustling Customer Turning Sugar Daddy-Need Tips on Detachment also!
Ok I have never had a "sugardaddy" but I have been in a few findomme relationships, and I think if you break a guy's wallet first time out, you're being "penny wise and pound foolish. I prefer a long term financial relationship to a short spree. That said all the want from me is my disdain. So I don't have the worry of becoming emotionally involved.
-
Re: Hustling Customer Turning Sugar Daddy-Need Tips on Detachment also!
i never liked the SD idea ... i always felt like it was an intrusion into my life ... i've probably lost out on a lot of bonus stuff over the years, but i did have a couple ... and it is amazing the lengths they will go to! ... you do really have to keep them at bay ... i'm thinking about getting a 2nd cell phone just for custy's and i would only allow them to do things for me after work (on my day shifts) and would never bring them to my home ... if you do allow one to know your residence, make sure you've developed a certain trust ... some SD's really just don't want committment and are really great, the one's that seem emotionally attached, give it some time, as with any relationship with a man for any reason ... also, if a SD is married, do not keep it up long term, that's just bad karma and begging for uneccessary trouble.
-
Re: Hustling Customer Turning Sugar Daddy-Need Tips on Detachment also!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
RoxyHart
Thanks to the enlightening link and I learned so much from that site now :)
Also your opinion is also very insightful. I am still keeping daily communication with my SD turned out he's busy and I have to wait until we meet & spend time again.
In the mean time, I use the time to learn, brush my skills and go freestyling :)
-
Re: Hustling Customer Turning Sugar Daddy-Need Tips on Detachment also!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
hidarlin
Ok I have never had a "sugardaddy" but I have been in a few findomme relationships, and I think if you break a guy's wallet first time out, you're being "penny wise and pound foolish. I prefer a long term financial relationship to a short spree.
Thanks for the advice..I am currently taking it slow with my SD
I am looking for a long term SD relation & support from him
Quote:
Originally Posted by
pollywogg
also, if a SD is married, do not keep it up long term, that's just bad karma and begging for uneccessary trouble.
My SD at the moment is single..
He just got out of a long term relationship and doesn't want commitment. So, it feels more comfortable with me.
-
Re: Hustling Customer Turning Sugar Daddy-Need Tips on Detachment also!
Update on my SD
He's busy at the moment with work and he told me he want to meet again & arrange vacation for us.
In the mean time, I'm learning and brushing up my hustling skills. I do miss him though, because he's physically attractive (my type) so I gotta stay busy and find myself other SDs go freestyling.
-
Re: Hustling Customer Turning Sugar Daddy-Need Tips on Detachment also!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
kristalyne
I do miss him though, because he's physically attractive (my type) so I gotta stay busy and find myself other SDs go freestyling.
Bingo! You are catching on! :-)
You have to think of this sort of situation more as a distraction. Sometimes talking to many people keeps you from dwelling on how much you need/want a particular person. On the other hand, seeing multiple people can be really good because when you are constantly considering what they do, one of them generally ends up shining through the rest. Just remember that if he starts acting like a douche, you need to start talking to more men... there might be something better. No ring/contract, no commitment to 1 person.
-
Re: Hustling Customer Turning Sugar Daddy-Need Tips on Detachment also!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Kylea2
Bingo! You are catching on! :-)
You have to think of this sort of situation more as a distraction. Sometimes talking to many people keeps you from dwelling on how much you need/want a particular person. On the other hand, seeing multiple people can be really good because when you are constantly considering what they do, one of them generally ends up shining through the rest. Just remember that if he starts acting like a douche, you need to start talking to more men... there might be something better. No ring/contract, no commitment to 1 person.
Thanks for the advice! Great I love it! :)
Yes I am freestyling and opening up to meet more SDs & potential ones.
So I don't get too caught up in mr.current SD :-*
Just think of the missing/longing as some distraction
-
Re: Hustling Customer Turning Sugar Daddy-Need Tips on Detachment also!
I agree with Kylea2!
I have 1 SD who is fine and dandy but i'm still up on the sites chit chatting away with others. Settling just isn't in my DNA.
Glad to hear your doing well though.
I am always reading up on the SeekingArrangments blogs for more info and insight on this lifestyle. I'm also always filling up my Amazon wishlist with stuff to pass the time and motivate me.
-
Re: Hustling Customer Turning Sugar Daddy-Need Tips on Detachment also!
Thanks Roxy for the wonderful advice :) anyways..I have a question..
UPDATE ON SD
My SD is currently busy with a case on his firm and he spent late nights working overtime at his office.
4 days ago, he called me around 7PM (dinner time) and asked me to drop by at his office building and accompany him work, because he's so stressed with the project he's doing. He needs me to give him a light massage on his back/neck because of work tension.
He also wanted me to sit on his lap while he is doing work and he will give me his ATM card and PIN number if I do that, so I can use his ATM card anytime I want to withdraw money.
I was a bit concerned because it's such a sudden invitation..also he said he will drive me home around 10-11 night after he's done with work..which I don't really want. I am not ready to have him drive me home because I want to keep my address privacy.
His building is located in an upscale office tower with tight security and CCTVs in every room for safety.
I also was concerned with the office CCTV and what if he can't control himself in his room..? Because it will only be me and him..on that floor..in his room. I politely declined and suggested another time.
What would you do if you are in my position? I prefer the lunch meetings in a public setting, rather than showing up in his office building at night.
Did I do the right thing?
Had I came there that day, the ATM card will be in my hands now LOL. But the whole setting feels weird.
-
Re: Hustling Customer Turning Sugar Daddy-Need Tips on Detachment also!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
kristalyne
Thanks Roxy for the wonderful advice :) anyways..I have a question..
UPDATE ON SD
My SD is currently busy with a case on his firm and he spent late nights working overtime at his office.
4 days ago, he called me around 7PM (dinner time) and asked me to drop by at his office building and accompany him work, because he's so stressed with the project he's doing. He needs me to give him a light massage on his back/neck because of work tension.
He also wanted me to sit on his lap while he is doing work and he will give me his ATM card and PIN number if I do that, so I can use his ATM card anytime I want to withdraw money.
I was a bit concerned because it's such a sudden invitation..also he said he will drive me home around 10-11 night after he's done with work..which I don't really want. I am not ready to have him drive me home because I want to keep my address privacy.
His building is located in an upscale office tower with tight security and CCTVs in every room for safety.
I also was concerned with the office CCTV and what if he can't control himself in his room..? Because it will only be me and him..on that floor..in his room. I politely declined and suggested another time.
What would you do if you are in my position? I prefer the lunch meetings in a public setting, rather than showing up in his office building at night.
Did I do the right thing?
Had I came there that day, the ATM card will be in my hands now LOL. But the whole setting feels weird.
Your instinct was 100000000% right.
I personally would have declined it instantly cause i pictured the same exact scenario as you did. What's to stop him from taking it to far? Massage? Sitting on his lap? OH HELL NO. Your lucky to get a hug from me on the 1st meeting. I mean, have you met prior to this? Not that it matters but the whole situation just screamed "RED FLAGS!". And the ATM thing is BS, he could close the account the next day or have like $50 in it for all you know. Nah. You did the right thing. Bravo!
Stick with public places. Have someone to call at a certain time or bring a friend with you. Never let them see where you live or heck get in a car with them... all this until you are 100000000000% secure with this person.
I'll be meeting my SD in a few weeks actually and it will be in a public mall, public restaurant and i will most likely bring a friend since its a hour drive away. I'm petite so i will not put myself in harms way at any cost. My SD is fine with this.
-
Re: Hustling Customer Turning Sugar Daddy-Need Tips on Detachment also!
First of all let me say I dont have a SD... but I have had regulars from the SC who pay me for my company (non dancing) and bought gifts, etc.
I was going to say in regards to the original post to get what you can now. You can ask for more without coming across as spoiled or greedy. You did the right thing by saying that you want it without being pushy and his answer shows he wasnt prepared to buy it that day. But its only a matter of time he'll start giving less and wanting more so I kinda think get as much as you can early on in the relationship.
I think you made the right choice on not going to his office (you see hes already expecting more) Im sure he'd be expecting much more on a vacation too. Just be really clear with what your boundaries are... if his intentions are to truly just be a SD he wont mind. If he starts to carry on he's probably not a good SD anyway.
Lastly I would think about the fact you are attracted to him. Think about if you did sleep with him how you would feel about that after and what your expectations of the relationship would be then (ie. still just a SD, partner, or will you expect cash if that happens). The only reason I say this is because if you are attracted to him... you might get wrapped up in that at some point and act on a whim. If you havent thought about the emotions prior to that it could destroy you.
-
Re: Hustling Customer Turning Sugar Daddy-Need Tips on Detachment also!
while I have had too many offers to mention over the years, I always opted NOT to allow any sort of SD 'relationship' to ever develop. A long weekend of 'fun' with a few purely voluntary gifts thrown in is one thing ... a mutually parasitic relationship spanning weeks or months is something else altogether. The problem with virtually EVERY SD arrangement I have ever heard of is that the SD ultimately tries / needs to exercise too much control ... and / or ultimately expects that his 'generosity' will be 'repaid' with interest.
While I don't take issue with girls who are comfortable cultivating SD's, I personally share the IRS official opinion ... that SD's bestowing gifts and money on 'strippers' constitutes a business transaction ( which the IRS will absolutely attempt to tax as business income earned by the 'stripper' if their attention is ever drawn ). However, I do take some issue with girls who 'market' themselves disingenuously i.e. allowing the SD to believe that something more than a business transaction is involved. And it's also often true that the same qualities that make for a lucrative SD when things are going well, i.e. a high income / powerful position, can make for a dangerous situation when things eventually go badly !!!
~