Why not "break the fantasy" with regulars?
Ok, so the whole SC environment is about fantasy.
However, when a customer starts becoming a regular, do you think it would actually be beneficial to be upfront with your regular so that they know the facts about your "relationship" before things spiral out of control?
I read about how dancers say they need to "maintain the fantasy" by phrasing things in a misleading way e.g. if your regular doesn't show up for awhile for whatever reason, you say to him, "Where have you been? I've missed you." instead of "Gee, I could've really used that $100 or $200 you spend on me most weeks while you were gone ..."
I mean, not every regular of yours is going to be savvy enough (or read SW) to understand the real deal of what is going on here. A RIL whose infatuation is constantly being fed with SS could, in the worse case scenario, turn out to be that stalker you've always dreaded.
On the other hand, regulars who understand what the boundaries are (after you have communicated this to them) and are willing to accept them could turn out to be the best long-term regulars you ever had.
Re: Why not "break the fantasy" with regulars?
In my experience a guy either gets it or doesn't want to get it. If a customer thinks that our relationship is going to end up OTC or something, me explaining it to him isn't going to make him not want it. And for me, guys like this do not usually become good long-term regulars because they want something I do not offer. The best thing for me to do is to get what money I can before they figure it out and move on to someone else.
I also want to add that I'm not big on leading customers on, but I will do the "Oh I need to get to know you better" line when they ask for stuff like OTC. I am also usually up front about having a boyfriend which I think helps deter some of these requests.
All of my best regulars have understood what is going on and know that this is my job.
ETA: I just reread your post and I think I might not be totally understanding your question... If you mean guys that legit think I like them and have feelings for me... Well I've only really had this happen once to where it was an issue, and I just stopped dancing for the guy for a little bit. During this time I told him I had a boyfriend. Now I dance for him sometimes but he knows we are not going to date or anything...
But really I don't think most guys who frequent strip clubs are this clueless. Maybe they pretend to be or want to be, but I think deep down they know what's up. Or maybe I've just been lucky and haven't run into guys like this that often... I'm interested to see what the other girls have to say...
Re: Why not "break the fantasy" with regulars?
"Could have really used the $100 to $200..." Does that include VIP or not?
Re: Why not "break the fantasy" with regulars?
The fact that you are paying for her time is the part where she is being honest! Any guy who can't figure out that a hot naked woman in a strip club is only paying attention to him because he is spending money on her should probably be staying out of strip clubs.
We are all responsible for our own actions. A dancer who tells out-and-out lies about possible OTC or plays other head-games is really not my cup of tea. A lady saying "I missed you" instead of "Where the hell have you been, I've got bills to pay" is no big deal to me. I understand why we are both there.
Re: Why not "break the fantasy" with regulars?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
stawj
Ok, so the whole SC environment is about fantasy.
However, when a customer starts becoming a regular, do you think it would actually be beneficial to be upfront with your regular so that they know the facts about your "relationship" before things spiral out of control?
I read about how dancers say they need to "maintain the fantasy" by phrasing things in a misleading way e.g. if your regular doesn't show up for awhile for whatever reason, you say to him, "Where have you been? I've missed you." instead of "Gee, I could've really used that $100 or $200 you spend on me most weeks while you were gone ..."
I mean, not every regular of yours is going to be savvy enough (or read SW) to understand the real deal of what is going on here. A RIL whose infatuation is constantly being fed with SS could, in the worse case scenario, turn out to be that stalker you've always dreaded.
On the other hand, regulars who understand what the boundaries are (after you have communicated this to them) and are willing to accept them could turn out to be the best long-term regulars you ever had.
I certainly would NOT be mentioning the money involved .
Personally I believe in the fantasy involved ..Sure you may possibly get the Odd regular who Creeps into the " Wierd " section , If that gets beyond your control Ditch him ..pretty simple .
But speaking as a Man ...he does not want to hear about too much ..KISS principle really applies to this scenario . Just say things like .." So great you could make it in " " Ive been wondering what happened " .." Sensational to see you again " ..he wants to live and breathe the Fantasy .
Keep things Hot and Sensual ..he comes to a club knowing that it wont go further , stick to your guns , and stick to your line in the Sand .
I do know a few girls ..who grab Cell phone numbers ..and Text ( with a private number ) this generally gets things going ..to try and maximise your earning potential , work on a few ..but NEVER ( in my view ) stay completely exclusive ...always keep working the room ..other Regulars can certainly be created and enhanced , on many different income levels .
Work each Catogery to really Maximise your Complete earnings , and enhance your options ..Be Proud and Be Busy !
Enjoy ....Davey 17 .}:D
Re: Why not "break the fantasy" with regulars?
I always figured that with the cost of a lap dance (or VIP/CR) it's generally included that, as a dancer, I maintain some semblance of the fantasy of the strip club. I'm fairly upfront with my regulars in terms of not meeting up OTC or anything, so I do believe the boundaries are fairly clear, but I'm also not going to just cut to the chase the moment they walk in the door and tell them to give me their money so I can dance for them because that's all I like having them around for. That's not what the strip club experience is about, yanno? In all honesty, I tend to like other qualities in my regulars, or else I wouldn't be able to stomach seeing them so often!
Re: Why not "break the fantasy" with regulars?
Regulars are regulars (at least mine) because they understand the relationship and still crave/seek whatever they're missing in their lives from me. Why take that from them? That's what they come in for.
Re: Why not "break the fantasy" with regulars?
I break the fantasy with alot of my custies when they don't get it, but I don't tell them that I only pay attention to them cuz of the money as that is simply poor customer service.
Anyhow most of the time when they allow their fantasy to become more then what I signed up for in reality & they are wanting a date, expecting to have sex, or relationship w/me I simply bust out with the truth which is that will never happen with me.
Somehow still even when I tell them that I'm a lesbian stripper who's really just there to check out the other dancers & only has interest in making my living off them ..they are still going to continue to spend or try & build up whatever fantasy they want most of the time. However it stops making them believe I'm going to play into them & while it might stop a few from spending on me many more take it as a challenge or a turn on.
Plus if they are already stalking me after I took their money I have no use for keeping them around. At some point I'ld lie tell a custie I have aids if that means they will get off my ass & leave me alone.
I don't care how much a custie spends they all get a time limit till they gotz to go cuz I get bored & annoyed by their attention. I only like regulars that know how to come in spend & leave b4 my mental meter runs out on them.
Re: Why not "break the fantasy" with regulars?
Most guys want to hear "I miss you" even if they know that deep down you really miss their wallet. Guys will pay good money for a convincing performance, and that's why dancers go that route. These guys usually still get that as long as they have to pay money for company, the dancer doesn't actually have feelings for them. If someone decides that the thousands of dollars he's spending is just a side dish and the entree is him, well, he is SOL but the reality was obvious from the beginning.
If you don't like the "I miss you" stuff, why not just tell dancers that you'd appreciate them not saying it? I'm sure they'll oblige. I do sort of understand where you're coming from - I don't like it when people are fake friendly with me either in order to get what they want, and I would prefer honesty.
Re: Why not "break the fantasy" with regulars?
When I first started dancing, I had a bad habit of getting pissy with regulars who didn't come in when they said they would or swore they would spend X amount of money on me and then would spend it all on some other girl. None of those confrontations ever resulted in them being grateful that I was upfront about the fact that I only cared about their money. It usually resulted in a stupid argument that made me look like a money-grubbing bitch and they would spend less and less on me, eventually leaving me altogether for a different dancer who played the "oh I'm just so happy to see you; oh of course I'd love to go for a ride on your motorcycle sometime" game.
The consistent facts about the relationship a stripper has with her regulars is that they pay her for her time, and she most likely is not going to meet OTC. A customer really shouldn't need clarifying on this. If you're not asking for anything you shouldn't be, then the dancer shouldn't need to clarify anything. If it reaches the point where she has to break the fantasy to explain why she's never going to actually meet you OTC or that she primarily cares about your money, then you've already lost sight of what a SC experience is or isn't. I met my bf in the club and, after he had been my regular for several months, he said I should come visit him at his job sometime. I said I would, but when I actually showed up a couple weeks later, he was floored. He didn't actually expect me to do it. This is having a realistic expectation of dancers. Not necessarily that we're heartless liars but that it's our job to create a certain atmosphere, and you should enjoy it for what it is without expecting full disclosure.
Re: Why not "break the fantasy" with regulars?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
stawj
Ok, so the whole SC environment is about fantasy.
Some of it's a fantasy, say 25%. The rest is tangible physical contact and is reality.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
stawj
However, when a customer starts becoming a regular, do you think it would actually be beneficial to be upfront with your regular so that they know the facts about your "relationship" before things spiral out of control?
Most already know, and most don't care.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
stawj
I read about how dancers say they need to "maintain the fantasy" by phrasing things in a misleading way e.g. if your regular doesn't show up for awhile for whatever reason, you say to him, "Where have you been? I've missed you." instead of "Gee, I could've really used that $100 or $200 you spend on me most weeks while you were gone ..."?
They're just being nice. People in the service industry have to be nice in order to maintain clients.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
stawj
I mean, not every regular of yours is going to be savvy enough (or read SW) to understand the real deal of what is going on here. A RIL whose infatuation is constantly being fed with SS could, in the worse case scenario, turn out to be that stalker you've always dreaded.
I'm sure this doesn't happen too often.
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Some customers who read SW tend to take specific incidents that have happened to dancers and start exaggerating their occurrences in the SC to the point where their notions about SCs becomes totally distorted or almost comic book in nature.
Re: Why not "break the fantasy" with regulars?
Any customer who asks (this includes all my regulars) knows that I just got married. I totally avoid leading customers on or making them think our relationship is anything but a stripper-customer one. I genuinely like most of my regulars because I refuse to dance for people who annoy the fuck out of me or strike me as bad people. The few I don't like I keep because I beat the shit out of them for money, so I get catharsis out of our transactions. SO, when I say "I missed you" I mean it. I missed their company and good conversation/humor/compliments/sweetness because it brightens my day and is part of why I love the job.
But that "I missed you" never means anything beyond the relationship we have in the club. It doesn't mean I want to date them or do anything OTC. It means "we both have a mutually beneficial arrangement that is both professional and pleasant." But, you know, less rigid-sounding :P
Re: Why not "break the fantasy" with regulars?
This is probably really lame but I really do miss most of my regulars when haven't seen them. I actually like them... I usually act my self around them and I don't talk about money ever. Probably why they like me cause I don't really hustle them at all. Maybe I'm a wierdo. It's always been financially rewarding for me this way so that's how I keep it. Sure I still act more affectionate toward them than I would in the real world and flirt but at the end of the day I actually enjoy their company. If I don't like someone it always shows and hence they wouldn't be a regular.
Re: Why not "break the fantasy" with regulars?
And like otoki- my best regs know I'm married.
Re: Why not "break the fantasy" with regulars?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
wellheeled
Most guys want to hear "I miss you" even if they know that deep down you really miss their wallet. Guys will pay good money for a convincing performance, and that's why dancers go that route. These guys usually still get that as long as they have to pay money for company, the dancer doesn't actually have feelings for them. If someone decides that the thousands of dollars he's spending is just a side dish and the entree is him, well, he is SOL but the reality was obvious from the beginning.
If you don't like the "I miss you" stuff, why not just tell dancers that you'd appreciate them not saying it? I'm sure they'll oblige. I do sort of understand where you're coming from - I don't like it when people are fake friendly with me either in order to get what they want, and I would prefer honesty.
I used to be soooo good at bullshitting customers. I should've won an Oscar for some of my performances. I've weaseled guys out of tons of money just by playing that game.... but it sucks the life out of you! And you begin to despise all men.
Nowadays I still do the fake bullshit I miss you act, but I do it over the top, to where it's obvious bullshit. I also do it in my insurance job. I sold a guy a 2mil life insurance policy ($2,600 commish) and he was a total strip club PL. I told him to name me as a beneficiary because we were going to have at least 8 kids after we get married. He was eating it up! ha ha
Re: Why not "break the fantasy" with regulars?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Jessie_tinydancer
This is probably really lame but I really do miss most of my regulars when haven't seen them. I actually like them... I usually act my self around them and I don't talk about money ever. Probably why they like me cause I don't really hustle them at all. Maybe I'm a wierdo. It's always been financially rewarding for me this way so that's how I keep it. Sure I still act more affectionate toward them than I would in the real world and flirt but at the end of the day I actually enjoy their company. If I don't like someone it always shows and hence they wouldn't be a regular.
This is certainly the best way to play it out ....long term it will give the best result and build a refferal business over time , If you are going to constantly just " Bullsit " ..It will bite you over time , play the game .
Plus certainly in Australia anyhow , the word " Hustle " simply does not translate ..if you were a total " Husltler " in the true sense of the word , you either are not emotionally capable of being able to cope with your " employment " ..Plus , it would simply be so obvious .
Different approaches work in different market places ..I have been to USA strip clubs , but I have never partaken in a PD , all was too fake for me and it just didn't feel right , but I was there to observe the cultural differences , and I think the " Hustle " would work far better in super high population type enviroment ..anyhow it not for me .
Ive helped many girls over the years ( not financially ) but with other bit and pieces , I have spent time with all of them outside clubs and Ive helped with marketing ideas to increase revenue , and with approach , clothing ... as Im involved in the Rag trade , plus property . But for those guys ( like me or others ) who couldn't care less to know that you were Married , well of course they would know .
The sales process can be an exciting " FANTASY " , without having to be complete " Bullshit " ...or this word " Hustle " .. which I just dont agree with . Generalising of course ..But USA chicks I know , who have dancing here ( Australia ) have found , it is a slightly different approach , as it may well be in Europe .
Anyhow ... good luck with whatever works I guess . But selling rather than " scamming " will provide longevity , and good Karma to boot .:P
Re: Why not "break the fantasy" with regulars?
I only choose seasoned customers which means: they know to show up with money to spend, they know not to blow up my phone or email, they know not to ask me for a date and they know not to dance with other dancers.
Re: Why not "break the fantasy" with regulars?
the only regular i ever had, totally knew the "real" me. I did not have to bullshit with him. He loved it. Never tried to push boundaries, and literally just wanted a "cool girl" to hang with. he hated the games, and i was more than willing to give them up. the only rule was no talking about money.
I always had very good luck with being myself vs being a character. the best money nights i ever had came from guys who spent a ton on me for me just being me.
Re: Why not "break the fantasy" with regulars?
So...here's a question. Since we are on the topic of being honest, you guys wouldn't get angry if that same regular decided one day to get dances and spend time with someone else right? I mean, men do love variety.
Re: Why not "break the fantasy" with regulars?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
stawj
However, when a customer starts becoming a regular, do you think it would actually be beneficial to be upfront with your regular so that they know the facts about your "relationship" before things spiral out of control?
I read about how dancers say they need to "maintain the fantasy" by phrasing things in a misleading way e.g. if your regular doesn't show up for awhile for whatever reason, you say to him, "Where have you been? I've missed you." instead of "Gee, I could've really used that $100 or $200 you spend on me most weeks while you were gone ...
Sure, and while she's at it she might as well let him know that he should skip the LDs because they are pretty bad in this club...and don't bother with the VIP, your time with me in there will just be more expensive...oh, and that girl will give you much more distance than I will...and...::)
Look, this game is as old as the modern day version of strip clubs. As another poster said, either a guy gets it or he just doesn't want to. And, IMHO, this game is far less elaborate than it used to be and many of the strippers nowadays are far less adept at coaxing large sums of money out of guys who "fall in love." There was a time, not so long ago, when LDs/VIPs were far less prevalant than they are today, so how do you think some of those girls made serious money off of guys back then?
I have seen more than a few guys go broke over the years chasing the elusive affections of dancers. Caveat emptor. They went into strip clubs and got too caught up. I for one am not going to criticize a girl for being good at her job. At the end of the day, it is the guy's responsiblity to care for himself and to decide how to spend his money, not the girl whose place of business he entered knowing that it is her job to take her clothes off and be nice to him.