What's WRONG With My Approach?
Oh man, last night was an all-time low for me.
I'm pretty new and haven't make "bank" yet, but I ended the night with $2 in my pocket. (And I still owe house! :'() One factor that I couldn't control was that the club shipped in girls from their sister clubs, so there were literally 50-70 girls there!
I had to deal with so much rejection my head was spinning. I try to listen to the advice of people on SW--be friendly to everyone, smile, look like you're having fun. But my approach is not making the guys line up for me. For example, I would go to check on a guy I had talked to before, and he would politely decline me, and then 30 seconds later I would see him walk into the LD room with another dancer! >:( wtf?
I think my problem might be that I don't know how to turn a conversation instantly sexual when I first start talking to a guy. I'm comfortable around guys and I enjoy shooting the shit with my guy friends, but that might be working against me in the hustle. How do I seal the deal? I am sooo frustrated. I bet I was the only one who didn't make house last night. :-[
Re: What's WRONG With My Approach?
Are you new?
Maybe you should post a photo?
I have been pretty insisting with dances lately and it is working for me. I have been dancing for a LONG time and have tried out many approaches. When it gets cut-throat, you have to be cut-throat.
I am not rude, but if a guy says he wants to wait a little while for a dance and I have no one else to ask, I just act excited and tell him I can hang out for a while- no prob! Then they see I have invested time in them and am enjoying their company and they get more than one dance:-)
When I see potential for more dances I will hang out a song or two or three if I have no where else I should be. Then I will pop the question again! Cha-ching! When you have a good one, don't let him go!
Are they asking you to come back? If so, ask them WHEN you should come back. I always do this. I come back in the 15 minutes they ask for if I am not busy and act SO EXCITED for our dance!!!
Find spenders, keep spenders. "No" is a viable option but wasting my time is NOT!
Re: What's WRONG With My Approach?
Everyone has bad nights. Get used to it. It's a part of the industry. Prowling around like a hungry alley cat can make you come off as seeming desperate and money hungry. I spend most of my time playing my DSI. They approach ME. If they ask what I'm doing I tell em "You better be giving me money for interrupting my game with such a redundant question. If you have money, great. If not, fuck off and let me get back to my game". It works 9x out of 10. I can't shit rainbows on command. I don't do the happy go lucky "Hiiiiiii how are youuuuuuu!" approach. It just doesn't work for me.
As a newb I wouldn't recommend my approach lol. Just stop worrying.
Re: What's WRONG With My Approach?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
tempest666
Everyone has bad nights. Get used to it. It's a part of the industry. Prowling around like a hungry alley cat can make you come off as seeming desperate and money hungry. I spend most of my time playing my DSI. They approach ME. If they ask what I'm doing I tell em "You better be giving me money for interrupting my game with such a redundant question. If you have money, great. If not, fuck off and let me get back to my game". It works 9x out of 10. I can't shit rainbows on command. I don't do the happy go lucky "Hiiiiiii how are youuuuuuu!" approach. It just doesn't work for me.
As a newb I wouldn't recommend my approach lol. Just stop worrying.
dude.....wow.......get it tempest666!!!! i love how dudes will take it from some girls, but not others...i'm telling you, delivery is everything!!!! mouth off in the wrong manner...and it's lost!!!;))))))
Re: What's WRONG With My Approach?
i can remember having such a bad week that i brought in tip out...lololololololololol...anything not to look like 'that' guy lol. don't stress over it, cuz then that attitude translates into a bad work mood...and that's easy to get caught up in
Re: What's WRONG With My Approach?
I think I might be able to help you with this, but I need more specifics. How's your body language?Where do you sit at the table? Are you using eye contact? What's your vernacular like? All of these things matter, a LOT.
Re: What's WRONG With My Approach?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
tempest666
I can't shit rainbows on command.
:D When DO you shit rainbows?
Re: What's WRONG With My Approach?
oh i was thinking about this last night. op, sometimes we underestimate how much control over things our mindset has.
sometimes, when we're desperate for anything (love, money, attention), we start doing things that we normally would not do. we start ignoring body language and subtle language indicators that let us know whether we are barking up the wrong tree. we start saying and doing things that are not us.
notice how relaxed you are on your good nights compared to the franticness you felt the night you made $2.
i'm not sure what you're talking about when you say turning a conversation instantly sexual, but i would go to barnes and noble or your library and read some books on sales. learn how to build rapport. build your sales skills and find a way to use that in the club.
also, high self-esteem, high self-worth, self-love, etc. all that good shit.
Re: What's WRONG With My Approach?
I agree with tempest. try not to act desperate. the mistake a lot of newbs make is walking around the room with this "lost" look in their eyes. customers like a girl who acts confident and if it's a bad night, then it's a bad night and at least you tried!! keep at it. you'll find your hustle.
Re: What's WRONG With My Approach?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
moonjade6
I'm pretty new and haven't make "bank" yet, but I ended the night with $2 in my pocket. (And I still owe house! :'() One factor that I couldn't control was that the club shipped in girls from their sister clubs, so there were literally 50-70 girls there!
May I ask where you are dancing? This sounds like my club that just opened this weekend...
Re: What's WRONG With My Approach?
Try not to get discouraged, although it's hard, I know! Everyone has had bad nights, it's part of the industry, as frustrating as it is. I agree with going back into the DR for a bit to calm down. I sit down, play on my phone, and maybe change my outfit. That usually works for me.
Once you're in a bad mood because you're not making money, guys pick up on it. It happened to me on Thursday. I had a rough day at home, and I let it follow me into the club. My first customer was awful, and from then on I was in a funk. I even had guys tell me "you look distracted."
Re: What's WRONG With My Approach?
Did you get to work and go "Omg there are so many girls" and panic/get desperate/get anxious about doing well right away? Because that'll kill your whole night right there.
Re: What's WRONG With My Approach?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
BringOnTheMen
If you're susceptible to going into panic mode when more than 5 girls walk in, you would do a lot better in a smaller club.
Yup. I've been dancing half a decade or more and I still don't do well at clubs with a ton of girls. LOL
Re: What's WRONG With My Approach?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
DesuvsDeath
Did you get to work and go "Omg there are so many girls" and panic/get desperate/get anxious about doing well right away? Because that'll kill your whole night right there.
Does anyone have advice how to get out of this panic mode once you get into it? I find it IMPOSSIBLE to get out of this panic mode once I'm in. No matter how hard I try to be positive and relaxed, that panic mode won't go away and it does end up ruining my night.
Re: What's WRONG With My Approach?
Whenever I have felt that frantic feeling of being overwhelmed hit me when I see 209381031 girls in the club, I just have to really focus on reminding myself that there is absolutely NO reason for my money to be affected by this because my ability to be a good dancer is only dependent on ME and shouldn't change because of the people in the room....And I basically just try and build up my confidence by being really cocky (not in a terribly obnoxious way ofcourse!). Chances are those other girls are feeling the exact same way and maybe you won't be feeling super relaxed the whole time, but you can come across as the dancer who is most confident. Oh and ofcourse, don't forget to BREATHE... It really does help.
Re: What's WRONG With My Approach?
OK...just reading theoriginal post...everything you said is stated in the negative!
It doesn't matter how many girls are there...all you need is ONE guy to make a lot of money.
Focus on your pre-work rituals and getting into the Zone before you ever set foot in the door.