stripping and your personal life
i have been stripping now for about 6 months. i a'm really enjoying it so far. i have a great guy at home who i have been with for about 6 years. we have a young daughter together and have a great relationship. when i told him i wanted to start stripping part time to make a few extra dollars he was and remains very supportive. he is not the jealous type at all and actually enjoys when i tell him about my shift. (i work day shift only) . however , after reading other posts, i a'm worried that dancing may cause problems for us eventually. i would not want dancing or anything to come between us. i would love to hear from some of the more experienced dancers about how stripping has affected their outside relationships.
thank you in advance
Re: stripping and your personal life
It will only cause problems if you let it. Keep the club at the club and keep home at home and you'll be fine. There are a lot of dancers here (myself included) in stable relationsips. There's a lot of bs that goes on in a sc. Don't get sucked in and you'll be fine.
Re: stripping and your personal life
This is just my observation, but dating a guy who has never been "in the lifestyle" or "in the industry" seems to help since they don't seem to have any preconceived notions of what strippers should act/think/talk like. Mine is the most tolerant and open minded individual out there.
Consequently, when I am "transitioning" from a shift and it was a bad night he doesn't know how to handle it. ("This fat bitch was sucking dick! I'm 10x hotter than her! Did you do the dishes!") you know shit like that. Men that have been around dancers know just what empty and soothing words to say to calm the savage beast.
Re: stripping and your personal life
Quote:
Originally Posted by
tempest666
Consequently, when I am "transitioning" from a shift and it was a bad night he doesn't know how to handle it. ("This fat bitch was sucking dick! I'm 10x hotter than her! Did you do the dishes!") you know shit like that. Men that have been around dancers know just what empty and soothing words to say to calm the savage beast.
hahah this is totally my life.
I've had two long term stable boyfriends while being a stripper. I kind of don't get where all the people who have relationship drama due to being a stripper get it from.
Re: stripping and your personal life
It's not difficult if you dance and dont do anything you shouldnt be doing, stay clean, do your job, dont fall into the "lifestyle" get in, make your money, and go home!
Re: stripping and your personal life
When he picks me up and he sees me going into the lapdance room with a cute white boy he will raise an eyebrow, vs whether it's with a PDOM or a Mexican. :D
Re: stripping and your personal life
If he's always been supportive, I don't see this causing problems unless you start acting differently. Don't start doing things you shouldn't do, and keep him out of the club so he doesn't have any reason to be jealous. Honestly, most of the people on here who have relationship problems due to stripping are with guys who weren't on board with the idea in the first place. If he's always been fine with it, I don't see why he would suddenly hate it unless he suddenly sees something that changes his perception or starts to think you're stuck in a rut.
Re: stripping and your personal life
I've been with my Husband for 6 years, and we have a 4 yr old daughter. He was ok with it when I started and generally still is. Occasionally he will have a testorone surge or go through male PMS and we fight about it, but it's normally because he likes me home ALL the time and would love for me to sit on a velvet pillow and eat strawberries and crea, while playin WoW with him. Other times, he totally gets off on the fact he is married to a stripper and has a hot wife to show off to friends.
I generally notice problems happen when the men aren't respecting their stipper SOs, or the girls treat the men like Pimps, or are the sole supporters of the family and don't make enough to support the family. Also, when girls start into drugs, partying all the time, and prostitution. My advice: stay away from the aformentioned and all should be well. :)
Re: stripping and your personal life
I've been dancing on and off for 10 years (always had a career/school as well) and have noticed a pattern among the guys I date in regards to dancing. Ironically enough, the more intelligent, successful, and secure they are the less of a problem they have with it. I have always been careful not to fall into the lifestyle and to make sure I had other things going for me as well, which helps.
Honestly, I've always dated great, educated, successful men and they were OK with it. Not happy, but OK. My most recent relationship was with a very insecure, uneducated guy from Vegas. Jealous with a ton of emotional/addiction issues, and HE was the only one who treated me like less of a person for it. You'd think it would be the other way around...
I would make it clear to him that you love him and if he is ever having reservations about it he MUST communicate them to you immediately. Guys tend to say they are OK with something when it actually bothers them and let resentments build up, etc. Then they will act out based on these and that's when you have trouble.
Re: stripping and your personal life
I've had the best experience with geeky guys! <3
With that said though...to the OP, if you're already in a stable relationship with an awesome and supportive guy then that's great. Don't get worried by the posts on here. It's really hard to find a guy who is truly supportive of dancing, but they do exist. Your guy seems secure in himself and your relationship. You'll be just fine. :)
Re: stripping and your personal life
Quote:
Originally Posted by
zonagirl
i have been stripping now for about 6 months. i a'm really enjoying it so far. i have a great guy at home who i have been with for about 6 years. we have a young daughter together and have a great relationship. when i told him i wanted to start stripping part time to make a few extra dollars he was and remains very supportive. he is not the jealous type at all and actually enjoys when i tell him about my shift. (i work day shift only) . however , after reading other posts, i a'm worried that dancing may cause problems for us eventually. i would not want dancing or anything to come between us. i would love to hear from some of the more experienced dancers about how stripping has affected their outside relationships.
thank you in advance
I've been with the same person for 10 going on 11 years. She thinks my job is ridiculously comical, and is my biggest supporter. Weeks I don't feel like going in? She supports it. Weeks where I'm going in every day, she's down with it. Career out of dancing? No skin off her back. I never want to dance again?! She's all for it.
I've done every shift, but surprisingly prefer day. So it has nothing to do with the job, always on the person :) Talking to each other honestly, with clear communication, and respect are keys to a loving, successful relationship. She has heard everything and vice versa and the common denominator is that we love each other and work on being better individuals and a couple every day. Dancing is a job, and a job should never take priority over a living, breathing person especially yourself. Hope that helps and gives you inspiration <3
Re: stripping and your personal life
I am a cam girl not a stripper but camgirls sometimes (often?) have the same issue.
Yeah ... if you let it affect you ... it will.
But you will be fine! The bonus is that he isn't jealous. My bf isn't jealous either which makes things much better. He's like yeah guys see you naked ... masturbating ... whatever ... I get all of you. He also figures that why should he be the only one to enjoy me? I kind of like his reasoning on that. He's always like ... you're sexy ... why shouldn't other guys get to look at you too? Hah.
Re: stripping and your personal life
Quote:
Originally Posted by
innes
He's always like ... you're sexy ... why shouldn't other guys get to look at you too? Hah.
that's awesome :)