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subbing at dungeon
Hi all, :)
I recently started working at a dungeon and about three weeks in I have had no clients. We're not getting many at all, but when we do get clients for subs (which they have me working as) ...I never get picked.
I want to be a domme,and I know I can do it. I have the look for it. I don't look submissive and I doubt I will make a lot of money as one.
How can I convince the head mistress to let me move into dominatrix territory?
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Re: subbing at dungeon
You don't need to convince anyone of anything , if you want to domme, then domme , if the mistress of the dungeon won't allow that , go somewhere that will ..... If you can't find someone to employ you as domme, go indy , and find a dungeon that rents chambers to pro dommes .
It's your business, you don't have to convince anyone but yourself anything .
Hope it goes well for you , and if it doesn't , you can always come here and lick my boots ;)
Missy
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Re: subbing at dungeon
If you don't have any work experience doing that, you may have to convince one of the Dommes to tutor you or let you be a little side Domme to her. Which, likely won't happen because there's probably more Dommes than subs.
So maybe work out an agreement where you work for reduced rates in that you give your Domina money for every appointment she allows you to double on so that you can get experience.
From there, you'll likely have to go indy, find another dungeon, or be REALLY good.
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Re: subbing at dungeon
Being a Headmistress of a dungeon I wanted to add a few words to this thread. Others may have different rules but I thought I would share my experience and policies:
I do not hire Dommes without experience. You must have skills to work as a professional Domme.
All of the Dommes on my staff have been through training or have extensive lifestyle experience and have demonstrated their knowledge of the required skills.
Here are a few ideas that may help your cause:
Ask the Headmistress what skills are required to be a Domme. Communication is the cornerstone of BDSM, personally AND professionally.
Ask if she will provide mentoring. I will only consider training if a girl asks. Dommes need to be assertive but...
Don't demand it, rember who is the Boss. If you show you are willing to put in the time and effort, then the chance will come.
If not find, try to find a mentor and aquire the skills the Headmistress is asking for or learn on your own.
BDSM... B... Bondage... Learn it!!
A few other thoughts:
If you don't like the dungeon you are working at try finding somewhere else but do not burn bridges. There are only so many dungeons in town and you may find later that you wish you could go back.
Training does not happen over night. Becoming a Professional Domme takes patience and skill and if you are not willing to commit to it or are looking for an "easy way" there is none.
Just having "the look" means nothing. BDSM and dungeons are very different from other SPs. A good dungeon values skills first. There is no "look" that outranks skills and no "attitude" compensates for bad skills or no skills.
These are a few of my main rules for being a pro Domme. There are others, but these are the first that come to mind.
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Re: subbing at dungeon
I agree with both ukmissy AND jasminejade.
If you want to Domme, then Domme. But be a REAL Domme. Whether that's getting mentored where you're at, or joining a group and going the lifestyle route.
I can tell you that I've seen people you would've NEVER have suspected to be a "Domme" by appearance/attitude alone. In fact, some of the Dommes, I like the most are incredibly NICE people to virtually everyone they meet. So many people think that "being a bitch" is a requirement, it isn't. Knowing WHEN to be a bitch though, can be.
I personally get a kick out of "instaDommes" that get Domme'd by lifestyle subs because they picked the wrong sub to "own."
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Re: subbing at dungeon
What about the experience of being a pro sub? This is something I often think I might be able to do (and may even really enjoy), although it also scares me as I've never even been to a dungeon...I guess my questions are best summed up:
How to stay in control when it's your job to give up control?
Does the whole scenario get decided before hand?
How do you set limits and boundaries, esp. w/ physical pain?
What's the money like?
I'd love to hear from any pro subs or others who may have good intel on this topic...thanks!
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Re: subbing at dungeon
Hey xeden
I will be posting a response to this in a new tread.
I don't want to be disrespectful and hijack this thread give me a day two to write a proper response
thanks
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Re: subbing at dungeon
Thanks Jasminejade!
I don't want to be disrespectful either. Sorry to the OP if I posted in the wrong place, still learning how things work around here...